Alien in Chief

by Gini Koch

  Jeff snorted. “Then everyone will do whatever you want as long as she tells them to in that power-mad way of hers that reminds me so much of you, baby.”

  “I’m choosing to ignore that. So, where are we going to say everyone is? I mean, you cannot tell Cliff that you put me into your office.”

  “President’s living room,” Mom said briskly while she tapped away on her phone. “I’ve cleared it with Elaine. Everyone who’s ‘too sick’ or supposed to be guarding the sick people will go there.”

  “Great. Is her Secret Service detail trustworthy?”

  Evalyne shook her head. “I have no idea. I want to say yes, but we were infiltrated by someone working directly for the Mastermind, so who’s to say they aren’t?”

  “We have to risk it,” Buchanan said. “If we’re going, we’re going. Besides, the Former First Lady isn’t going to leave her quarters, so if any of them leave, you’ll know that’s the traitor or traitors.”

  “I agree,” Christopher said, as he and White came in. “Kitty, I don’t know where or how James, Tim, and Oliver are going to get out. For my dad we could use the ‘tired old man’ excuse. But those three honestly don’t look sick.”

  “I think I resent that, son.”

  “You look amazing as always to me, Mister White.” Did the forehead check. Sadly, both father and son were too hot, and not in the good way this time. “MJO has a plan, but someone has to bring him to the right location. No idea on James and Tim.”

  “I’ll count on them to ensure it’s dramatic,” Jeff said.

  “Maybe not,” Phoebe said. “Too dramatic would draw attention, wouldn’t you think? Kitty doing it was one thing. But if others are, too . . .”

  Looked at Jeff. “Sounds like you get to go be a jerk again.”

  Jeff nodded. “Let’s use the old ‘pressure’s getting to me and I’m lashing out at my friends’ plan.”

  “You sound like Kitty far too often.” Christopher gave Jeff an Atta Boy shot of Patented Glare #3. Presumably so he’d know the world was still normal.

  “I consider that a good thing,” Jeff said with a grin.

  “Can you do it?” Mom asked.

  “Yeah, I’ll just tell myself they all want to sleep with my wife.”

  “Whatever gets you through, Jeff. Okay, so we all need to actually go to the President’s Living Room, in part so that Richard and I know where it is, in case we’re able to get back before anyone can notice that we’re gone.”

  “And that way we’ll be there to take James, Tim, and Mister Joel Oliver with us,” White added. “I believe hyperspeed will be, as it so often is, our friend.”

  “Is there anything else we need to discuss before we do that?” Mom asked. “I’d personally like to know what you’re going to be trying to do, kitten.”

  “Honestly, Mom, I’d prefer not to tell any of you what I’m planning. In no small part because Jeff and Christopher are the worst liars in the world. I know you pulled up how you used to feel about Chuckie for that ‘fight,’ Jeff. I don’t think you can do that for the ‘where is your wife going’ question.”

  “I hate to admit it, baby, but you’re right on both. I’d like to know, but it’s probably better that I don’t.” He sighed. “And you know how bad it is when I’m letting you do this, without me and without argument.”

  “Don’t worry, Jeff,” Christopher said. “Kitty’s plan will be something insane and foolhardy that will put her and everyone else on her team in mortal peril. Several times, most likely.”

  “You don’t know me.”

  “Just be really clear about your location when you call for help.”

  “You remain not my favorite, Christopher.”

  He grinned. “Nice to see that Jeff’s still number one in your heart.”

  “And in the bedroom.”

  “Too much information!” That was said in unison by most of the room.

  Jeff just grinned. “Even when we face the potential end of the world, it still sucks to be me.”

  CHAPTER 75

  WE ZIPPED TO the President’s Living Room, or what I was thinking of as the Launch Point. As with everything else around here, it was tastefully decorated, huge, and everything in it had a feeling of being very old.

  “Is there any chance you have jeans I can change into?” I asked Elaine, who wasn’t looking all that great, which wasn’t a surprise in any way.

  “Maybe. I don’t know that we’re the same size. But some of my granddaughter’s clothes might still be here from her last visit.” She led me to a ginormous closet that made ours at the Embassy seem rather average, which, before this moment, I hadn’t considered possible. “Just look around, try on anything, take whatever fits.”

  Hugged her. “Thank you. I work better not all dressed up.”

  She nodded. “I know. I just . . .” She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I just can’t look at Vince’s clothes right now,” she said softly.

  Hugged her again, then closed the door behind her. Heaved a sigh. “The Elves, the Elves, my kingdom for the Elves.”

  I’d been looking toward the end of the vast closet, so I saw the pile of clothes appear out of nowhere. Trotted over. Jeans, Converse, Aerosmith t-shirt, Aerosmith hoodie. All black, even the Converse. Clean underwear, too.

  “Thank you, my King of the Elves. You really are the best.”

  Put the clothes on and dumped my old ones onto the floor. I didn’t actually care if they made their way home, though I had a suspicion they would. If it even mattered.

  There was something on the floor, under where the shoes had been. A penny, head side up. Figured it had fallen out of Armstrong’s pocket somewhere along the way. Picked it up and put it in my pocket. “For good luck. Which we need in the most desperate way.”

  There was nothing else that seemed out of place or that might be a good luck totem. “Thanks for all the musical memories and those goggles,” I said to the closet at large. “Right you were—this isn’t something we have any experience with.”

  No rakish dwarf appeared.

  “And . . . if I don’t see you again, I get why you’re not stopping this, I truly do. I understand the whole Free Will Manifesto. And, much as I want to hate you or resent you for it, I don’t. I just have to trust that you somehow know that it’s all going to be worth it. Because right now all I see is death and illness and fear. And we already have more than enough of that on this planet.”

  Waited. Nothing. But then, I hadn’t expected anything.

  “We’ll do our best to stop Cliff and all his evil minions, but I’m saying so long and thanks for all the fish, just in case. You’re a jerk, but you’re our jerk, and I love you.” Headed out of the closet, shutting the door behind me.

  I couldn’t blame Algar for being himself. He gave me what he’d always promised—clean clothes—and that was going to have to be enough.

  Rejoined the others. No one seemed remotely surprised that I’d found clothes that looked a lot like mine in Elaine’s closet and I chose not to mention their lack of attention to detail. For all I knew, they were all feeling too crappy to care. No one looked chipper, and if we were at home and not facing an epidemic of biblical proportions, I’d have told every one of them to go take some aspirin or Advil and go have a rest.

  “By the way,” I said, before anyone noticed that they hadn’t noticed my outfit, “we need to protect Gideon at the same level as Jeff and Chuckie.”

  “Why?” Kyle asked.

  “Because he knows enough about the Mastermind to be a liability,” Len replied.

  “Yep. So, we need to ensure that he’s well-guarded.”

  “Cliff’s undoubtedly pawed him by now,” Phoebe said.

  “I’m betting that Cliff’s managed to paw everyone by now.”

  “We’ll handle it,” Jeff said.

&
nbsp; “You all need to try to get blood samples to Doctor Hernandez,” Buchanan said. “Specifically of Goodman, but he wants everyone’s blood if we can do it, so that they can determine who is and isn’t infected and spot if anyone is naturally creating antibodies.”

  “We’ll handle it,” Jeff said for the second time, with a tad more emphasis.

  “We should also determine if there’s something that Cliff has on him that’s helping him spread the disease via touch. There could be an answer to the cure if we can find out what he’s using. And by ‘we’ I mean those of you who are staying in the White House.”

  “We’ll handle it,” Jeff said for the third time, sounding annoyed.

  “I believe in you.”

  “I think I resent that, baby.”

  “What’s your plan for protecting Gideon? I’m serious. He’s got information that can possibly convict the Mastermind in the court of public opinion if nothing else.”

  “That he may not be willing to share,” Mom reminded me.

  “We’re facing a plague. I think Gideon might want to try to save the world—not to mention himself and his family—and if that means taking down the Mastermind he’s already disavowed, then I’m not seeing the problem.”

  Mom cocked her head at me. “You’re normally far more in tune with motivations.”

  “I am. And I’m telling you that as far as I can tell, Gideon Cleary wants to die on the side of right. So, let’s ensure the right part of that, but not the die.”

  “Just have him get ‘too sick,’” Len suggested. “That way, he’s up here. This is where we’re going to put all those who don’t feel great, right? As in, this is our high-level quarantine area. If he’s up here, we can all protect him.”

  “And possibly get him to give us the information we need,” Kyle said. “We do have a very good working relationship with the governor.”

  Jeff nodded. “That’s a very good plan.” Both boys looked pleased and a little proud. “We’ll get him up here somehow, baby, I promise.”

  “Great. And if you can’t get him up here somehow, keep him under guard.”

  “We will.” Jeff gave me a long, deep kiss. “I know I won’t see you for a while, baby,” he said softly. “And, if the worst happens and I don’t see you again, know that I’ll always love you and I’ll see you on the other side.”

  “I’ll always love you, too, and I promise the worst won’t happen, Jeff. You keep the home fires burning, our friends and family here safe, and our enemy right where you can see him at all times. I’ll handle the rest.”

  “That’s my girl.”

  “Always, Jeff. Always and forever your girl.”

  One more fantastic kiss and one very long, tight hug, then Christopher and Jeff took off, with an admonition from me to be sure they were bickering loudly when they got to the dining room.

  And then we waited. Elaine was filled in at a very high level, Lucinda and Elaine’s Secret Service detail far less so. They were all sent off to get sustenance for those coming up here, as well as sleeping bags or linens and whatever. Mom pulled Lucinda aside and asked her not to use hyperspeed, and Lucinda was savvy enough not to ask why.

  These briefings were barely over and Lucinda and team sent off on their hopefully time-consuming errand when Oliver came in with Raj. Of the two of them, the one who looked like he really needed the rest was Raj and I said so, while I checked Oliver for fever, which he had.

  Raj shrugged. “I’m sick with whatever this is, just like everyone else, Kitty. But I still have a job to do.”

  “Yeah, and I think you should do it here, while lying down.”

  “No. Mister Joel Oliver explained what was going on once we were alone.”

  “Why did you do that?” I asked Oliver.

  “Because I could tell that our fine young troubadour knew I was faking. He helped me sell my ‘dizzy spell’ for our dear Mastermind and I felt he deserved to know what was going on.”

  “I know you won’t let me go with you,” Raj said. “But Jeff’s going to need me, especially if he’s fighting with Charles, so I don’t mind staying.”

  “That was faked, Raj.”

  He grinned. “I figured, Kitty. However, they’re going to have to keep that up for the entire time you’re ‘up here sick.’ They’re the distraction for the Mastermind.”

  “True enough.”

  “And he’s truly enjoying it,” Oliver said. “I can tell. The signs are small and hidden, but they’re there.”

  “I don’t want to just stop whatever he’s doing. I want to end his reign. Here and now.”

  “No idea how you’re going to do that,” Mom said with a sigh. “We still have nothing concrete that we can pin on him. And that will include his blood, if we can actually get some, because even if he has the vaccine in his bloodstream, he’ll have a believable story for how it got there. And if this is an example of what he can do if he feels like it, then we need to know what all the other doomsday plans are and abort or dismantle them first.”

  We’d been saying that for years now. And people I cared about kept on dying while we waited. Chose not to get into an argument with my mother, especially because reality said that I might not see her again, since we were all definitely infected. But I knew what I was going to do, and I was going to expose Cliff in any and all ways possible.

  More waiting. Finally Christopher came back with Reader and Tim. “Chuck’s doing a great job with the faked mood swings, Jeff’s doing a great job channeling when he was drugged out of his mind and acting like that again, and I officially want to go with you because I’m somehow stuck in the role of the voice of reason.”

  “So everyone’s having a good time. Awesome.” Checked them. Yep, both had fevers. Go Team Sicko.

  “I’m glad I was chosen to be ‘too sick to stay downstairs,’” Tim said. “Believe me.”

  “Remember that when we’re hanging off of something wondering if we’re going to die from falling or being shot, versus this disease,” Reader said with a grin.

  “I’ll resent that later, James. Now, back you go, Christopher and Raj. Ensure that Cliff doesn’t sleep alone and that he’s not bunking with Chuckie only. Try not to let Cliff touch anyone, not that I think that’s going to be easily accomplished. Try to help Jeff figure out how to get a sample of Cliff’s blood and good luck with that. If someone has to sell how sick we are, let that someone be Raj or my mother.”

  “Or me,” Elaine said. “I can do it, and anything I can do to help you right now I will.”

  “Got it,” Christopher said.

  “Do you want us downstairs or up here?” Len asked.

  “Here,” Christopher said. “In case someone tries to get in to ‘see’ the sick people. Unless we need you for muscle or as a way to get Cleary up here, in which case, one of us will call or text.”

  “Roger that,” Kyle said.

  “Love you guys, be safe.” Hugged Christopher and Raj, then they left us.

  “I hope this works,” Elaine said. “Or we won’t care in another, what, week? Week and a half?”

  “No idea yet,” Mom said. “Based on what we know, if you’re healthy, maybe more than a week. If you’re not, then probably not.”

  “Ariel was healthy as far as I ever knew,” Elaine said, clearly trying to keep her voice steady, with limited success. “And Doctor Morin and his team, who sound close to death right now, were all very healthy.”

  Reader’s phone beeped and he drew his breath in.

  “What?” I asked with trepidation.

  “Chuck says the entire medical staff other than Morin just died. Morin called for help about a minute ago. All medical staff other than the doctor are confirmed dead and being taken to the bowling alley. Morin appears very close to death himself.”

  I was prescient. Great. And everyone who’d gone to the medical
offices with me was now more exposed. Or something. And this also meant we only had one person on site who had a hope of taking a useable blood sample from Cliff, and that man was close to death. For all I knew, Jeff would get the perfect plan to take Cliff’s blood in place and Morin would die before he could perform the act.

  “This has to stop,” Elaine said, now not even trying to hide how distraught she was. She was also presciently saying what I was thinking. Maybe this illness made you telepathic. But probably not.

  Went to Elaine and hugged her tightly. “I’m going to stop him,” I whispered to her. “I swear to you I’m going to make him pay for what he’s done.”

  She hugged me back. “The best way out is through the basement. Mister Joel Oliver will know where to go.”

  Oliver nodded. “I know where the secret exit is.”

  “There’s only one?”

  He smiled. “There are several, but I believe the one our First Lady is referring to is the one that will let us out at a decent distance from the White House Complex yet not so far that we can’t catch public transportation.”

  “Former First Lady,” Elaine corrected. “And you’re right. Now, all of you, go save this country and possibly the world from the plague released by a madman.”

  Hugged everyone and told them I loved them, Mom especially, before we left. Then we linked up and, Oliver steering and White providing the hyperspeed, took off for the great outdoors.

  CHAPTER 76

  OF COURSE, we had to go down two floors, skulk around in a dark basement, follow a rather sterile tunnel, go down some stairs into a far less sterile tunnel, up some stairs, and into another tunnel that wasn’t as nice as the first and not as bad as the second, one more set of stairs up, to end up in a small building. Then, once we found our way through that and found the right door, there we were, in the outdoors.

  Was incredibly glad we’d done it all at hyperspeed.

  Looked around. The little building at the end of this tunnel turned out to be at the far side of Lafayette Square. Saw no rioting in the streets. So that was good. Didn’t expect this quiet to last.