The Distance Between Us (Mac Security Series Book 3)

by Abigail Davies

  Why the hell didn’t I think to get dressed?

  His steps halt and his eyes widen when he sees me and he pockets his cell.

  “What are you—”

  “Please,” I beg. “Just hear me out.” I hold up my hands halting him when he opens his mouth but it’s no use.

  He looks up at the darkened sky and then back at me, taking a step forward. “You shouldn’t be here, Kitty.”

  His hands slip into his pants pockets and his stance widens. The light from the sign over the doors illuminates his face and I see the grim line of his lips.

  “I know,” I say, my hands still in the air. “But I need your help.”

  He laughs and shakes his head, stepping toward his car and pressing his key fob, making the lights flash.

  “Jonny, please.” My voice sounds pathetic even to my own ears and I hate it. “I just need some pills.”

  His head whips around and for the first time he actually looks at me properly, his eyes scanning my whole body and when they finally make their way back up to my eyes, I see the reaction that my words caused.

  The anger swirls inside them, mixing with a hint of sadness as he asks, “Pills?”

  “Yeah, look.” I clear my throat. “My arm, I need them for my arm. I ran out and I can’t get another prescription.”

  “Sure you can, go to the doctor’s office tomorrow and they’ll get you more.” He moves forward, only a few steps from his car now and I bite my lip as he opens up his door.

  “Wait!” A lump forms in my throat as I walk around to him. “I can’t wait until tomorrow. I need them now.”

  “Go home, Kitty, and don’t come back. I’ve protected you so far, but if I see you again, I can’t keep that promise that I made. I don’t want to see you hurt, but if you don’t stay away…” His eyes swirl with violence. “I can’t promise that you won’t get hurt.”

  My hand flutters to my neck as I watch him step inside his car and close his door, reversing out of the bay and driving out of there. My feet stay rooted to the spot and I blow out a breath that I didn’t realize I was holding.

  Guess it’s on to plan b then.

  I jump back into my car and drive to Wayward. If anyone will sell them to me, then Joel will. I have no doubt about that.

  I didn’t want to have to come to him, I desperately hoped that Jonny would have helped me, but in the back of my mind I knew that he wouldn’t. After he watched out for me when I was working undercover and getting to know him, I knew he wouldn’t openly supply me with drugs.

  I park my car and get out, looking all around me as I make my way to Joel’s apartment on the top floor of the building. I lift my hand, ready to knock on the door and then think better of it, stepping away before turning back and rapping my knuckles on the door.

  “Well, well, well, look what the cat dragged in.” Joel laughs at his own joke and waves me inside.

  I pull the cuffs of my sleeves over my hands and step inside. He sits down on his dirty sofa and takes a drag of his joint, blowing the smoke out slowly all the while not taking his eyes off me.

  “What can I do for you?”

  I lift my foot off the carpet, the sole of my boot sticking to it. I grimace down at it and try to stay in control.

  “I… I need some painkillers.”

  He chuckles and slaps his thigh. I know that he thinks I’m a joke so I turn around, ready to leave and come up with another way to get them.

  “Whoa, Whoa.” I feel his body come up behind me and his hand touches my hip, making shivers roll up my spine and not the good kind. “I’ll get you your pills,” he whispers in my ear.

  I nod my head slowly and turn around, trying to make my lips lift into a smile but it proves harder than I thought with his rank breath fanning over my face.

  His hand wanders up the back of my top and over my spine, his fingers scratching against my skin.

  My eyes flutter closed but not for anything but to block this all out. He steps away and I breathe a sigh of relief as I open my eyes and turn around, seeing his back to me. He turns to face me a few seconds later, smirking as he holds a bottle out in front of him.

  I swallow and try my hardest not to dive forward to take them from him. I need to keep my cool and wait, I don’t want to look desperate even though that’s exactly how I feel.

  My hand flutters to my pocket and I pull out some bills, reaching my hand out to him. He takes them, counting it twice and looking back up at me.

  “See you next time,” he chuckles, handing the pills over to me.

  As soon as they’re in my hand, I spin around and pull the door open, stepping out into the clean air and jogging back to my car.

  Once I have the engine roaring it all comes down on me. I just scored these from a dealer, I shouldn’t be doing this, but even as I think it, I’m opening up the bottle and pouring some into my hand.

  I just need to pretend that I got these pills from my doctor, that I went to the pharmacy and filled the prescription out that he gave me and then went home.

  That’s what I’ll do, I’ll pretend and lie to myself because it’s the only thing that will help me keep my sanity.

  “Come on, Kitty! Harder!”

  I growl in frustration at Ty, hating that I can’t even do a simple, left hook, right hook. I’m not one for giving in; I try and try until I can’t physically do anything else, but this is beating me.

  I lift my arm, trying to hit the pads but it’s too much, too soon. It burns when I try to make the hit, the vibrations traveling up my arm making me wince and grit my teeth.

  “Fuck!” I pull the gloves off my hands, throwing them down on the mat that covers the warehouse floor and stomping over to Evan’s station, struggling to twist the top off the stupid bottle of water.

  “Kitty,” Ty calls, but I ignore him.

  “Seriously? I can’t even open a bottle of fucking water!” I drop the bottle on the floor as the telltale signs of tears sting my eyes. I will not cry, I will not cry.

  “Take a breath,” Ty says, coming to stand in front of me and placing his hands on my shoulders, leaning down so that his eyes are level with mine.

  “I can’t do it,” I say, my voice low. “I’ll never be able to do it again.”

  “You will.”

  I look up into his eyes, expecting to see pity but all I see is support.

  Since I’ve been home they’ve all gathered around me, making me food, helping me get dressed; such normal things that you do without a second thought but are ridiculously hard when you’ve been shot in the arm and can barely use it.

  I want to be back to who I was, doing the things that I used to do. I want to be back out on jobs.

  “Take a break, help Evan with the job that Luke and Kay are on.”

  “You want me to sit at the desk again?” I growl.

  “Yeah.” He shrugs, letting his hands drop from my shoulders. “Helping Evan is just as important as being out on jobs.”

  “I know,” I say on a breath. “I just… I just hate not being able to get out there, I’m just sitting on that case you gave me and it’s driving me nuts knowing I can’t do anything.”

  He takes a step back, picking up the gloves off the floor and taking them to the cupboard, placing them inside along with the pads.

  “You’ll get there, Kitty. It’s just gonna take some time.”

  I nod my head and sit down at Evan’s workstation, waiting for him.

  Evan comes rushing in ten minutes later, his hair sticking up all over the place and his t-shirt on backwards. I snort as I see him and he stops halfway to me, raising his brows in silent question.

  “Dude, who dressed you today?”

  “Huh?” He looks down at his chest, making a noise in the back of his throat.

  He grabs it at the back of his neck, pulling it off and turning it the right way around.

  Evan is a geek in all sense of the word, and I mean that in the nicest way possible. He loves computers, science, that kind of thing,
but if you saw him without those nerdy t-shirts he likes to wear, you’d have no idea that’s who he is.

  He’s ripped, and not your-arms-the-size-of-legs ripped, more the athletic kind of ripped. I can’t help but stare at his abs and that V that travels down into his jeans as he tries to dress properly.

  If I wasn’t so taken with a certain somebody, and I didn’t look at him like a brother, then I’d totally say he was hot.

  “Woo, shake dat ass!” I shout, smirking at the blush that rises on his cheeks. “Flex those muscles.” I wink at him in jest and he rolls his eyes, holding the t-shirt in his hand at his side as he drops his brows, giving me “the eyes.”

  I snort with laughter as he walks toward me, strutting his stuff like he’s on a runway before turning back around and shaking his ass.

  He turns around and says, “How you like me now, sugar?” His voice rising a couple of octaves as he tries to sound like a girl.

  “Very sweet.” I smirk.

  He waggles his brows up and down, moving his hips around in a circle to the beat that he starts to make in his throat.

  “What the hell are you doing?”

  “Boss!” Evan scrambles up, pulling his t-shirt over his head, the right way around this time and clearing his throat. “I was just… we were…”

  “You were?” Ty prompts, crossing his arms over his chest as he leans against the door to the office.

  “I was… we were…” He coughs, looking to me for guidance but I just smirk at him. “Oh, is that my cell I hear.” He pulls it out of his pocket, looking down and holding it to his ear. “Gotta take this,” he says, pointing to it.

  I turn to face Ty who is smirking as he pulls his own cell out, pressing something on the touchscreen before the sound of Evan’s ringtone bounces off the walls and down his ear.

  “Damn,” he spits, turning around slowly, looking at me and then Ty.

  Ty grins, throwing his keys up in the air and catching them as he walks to Evan, patting him on the back before saying, “Nice show.”

  I’ve been back on the job for a couple of weeks now and I’m getting back on form. I’m back to training twice a day and I feel like I’m finally getting my strength back in my arm, even though it’s taking some time and a lot of patience.

  Luke and I have been on surveillance all week and I honestly can’t remember the last time I laughed so hard. It’s great, feeling like me again.

  Things are fun and meetings aren’t overshadowed with me being shot and not able to work. Everything is going smoothly and if I was a cynic, I’d be waiting for the other shoe to drop, but I’m not and I feel fantastic so I have no room for those kinds of thoughts.

  I hit the punching bag again, left, right, left and a kick. I do it over and over again until sweat is pouring down my face and back and I’m panting for breath. It feels so good to be able to do this again.

  “Fancy a spar session?” I ask Evan as he walks across the mats to his desk.

  He spins around and drops his hand onto his hip. “Mani and pedi?” he squeaks, trying his best to sound like a woman.

  I snort and he huffs, fluttering his lashes at me with a pout on his face. “No mani and pedi?”

  “Not a goddamn chance!” I jump closer, putting my fists up in front of me and taunting him. “Come on! Just a small session.”

  He ducks one of my hits and squeals as some coffee spills onto the mat. “You made me spill it!”

  “Ooooh! Is Evan getting all anxious?” I chuckle.

  He spins around, placing the coffee on the table and pulling some of his wipes out of his top drawer and crouching down, cleaning the coffee up.

  “You know what will happen if I don’t clean this up? It’ll get sticky and then ants will come inside and—”

  “Yeah, yeah.” I wave him away. “I know, I know!”

  “Kitty!” Ty barks and I turn around to face him.

  “Yeah?”

  “In here, now.”

  He spins around and storms back into his office and I follow him, pulling off my gloves as I go.

  “Sup, Boss?”

  He stays silent as he sits in his office chair, playing a drumbeat with his fingers on the wooden desk and watching me with those stupid chocolate brown eyes, the same eyes as Charlie’s.

  “What’s going on with you?”

  “Me?” I point to my chest. “Nothing.”

  He stares at me silently for so long that I start to shuffle in the chair and look away. I never look away, dammit!

  “You’re on edge.” He raises a brow, waiting for me to say something and when I don’t, he relents. “Fine. Stop winding Evan up, he’s busy.”

  “Got it!” I jump up and start to walk out of the office.

  “And, Kitty?”

  “Yep.” I spin back around.

  “Go get a shower and a nap, you look like shit.”

  “Well, gee, thanks, Boss.” I wink at him and stick my tongue out at Evan as I walk through the warehouse, making my way back to my cottage.

  I take a quick shower and dress in my work gear, grabbing my boots and sitting in my chair in the living room.

  I shove my feet into them and look up out of the window, spotting Ty, Kay, Luke, and Evan all standing in the middle of the compound.

  My chest rises and falls as I watch them. I feel like I’m not one of them anymore. However much things have been going right lately, I can’t stop the voice in my head that tells me I can’t run as fast as them anymore, I can’t handle what I used to. I mean, damn, I can’t even stand the sight of my own gun, Betty.

  I reach down the side of the chair and pull out my pill bottle, lining six pills up on the table and staring down at them.

  My eyes move from the pills to the window and for a second I think about not taking them, but the tremor in my hand and the gasp of breath I take when that thought occurs tells me that I need to take them. To be normal, to feel normal.

  I can’t do what I do without them, I know that now. I tell myself that I’ll stop tomorrow, this will be the last six.

  I promise myself, meaning it this time. No more after this. No more.

  My leg bobs up and down as we sit watching the senator’s house. I followed the paper trail, not being able to stop until I knew I had a solid lead.

  What I thought would be good for me, getting a politician arrested for corruption, has turned into an obsession, a nightmare. All I’ve been able to think about is my father, of how things were when I was growing up. I can’t get the memories out of my head and the more pills I take to help drown them out, the more I seem to remember.

  “Katherine, I need you to be on your best behavior tonight,” my father says, lifting the expensive crystal tumbler to his lips and downing the whiskey in one. His light brown eyes meet mine, the same eyes that he passed down to me. Only his hold a sinister look, nothing like what I see when I look in the mirror.

  “I will, Father,” I reply, smoothing down the cocktail dress that I was given to play the part at yet another function. It’s the only time he wants me around, when he needs to show off his “perfect” family.

  “Good.” He nods, standing up and doing the button on his tuxedo jacket up. “Let’s go.”

  He walks past me where I’m standing in the middle of his dark office, not even bothering to comment on the dress that he made me wear.

  I hate going to these stuffy functions, hate having to have my makeup minimal but enough to gain people’s attention, “future husbands” attention.

  Dean appears in the doorway when my father has walked out, giving me a sad smile and holding his arm out to me.

  “You ready, Kitty?”

  I blow out a breath at the sound of his voice and that name coming from his lips. He’s the only one who uses that nickname instead of Katherine, and for some reason, when he calls me that, I feel like I’m home.

  This mansion that I’ve lived in all of my life has never felt that way. Even though there’s always people here, running around either
doing what my father has told them to, or waiting hand and foot on my mother, it always feels empty.

  “Yeah.” I smile, stepping toward Dean and putting my hand in the crook of his elbow.

  Dean’s been my personal bodyguard for nearly six years now, since I was twelve and he was twenty-one, fresh out of the army after doing several tours. Right from day one we got along and although he’s here to protect me, he also lets me vent to him without going and telling my father.

  It’s sad, but he’s the only friend I have.

  We walk outside to the huge driveway, complete with obnoxious fountain and a ridiculous amount of cars. The only thing I love about this house are the gardens where Fred, our groundskeeper, let’s me help tend to them. I’ve done it since I was a little girl and I’ve learned so much about plants and trees from Fred, all of which I have documented in my various notebooks that I keep for future reference.

  Dean holds the door open to the limo that my parents are waiting in, my mother not even acknowledging my presence in favor of the glass of champagne that she’s drinking as I get in.

  I’m used to it but it still stings that she can’t even say hello to me. I can’t remember the last time she even spoke to me.

  “Colleges have gotten back to me, you’ll be going to Harvard,” my father says as we pull out onto the road.

  My head whips around to my father where he sits typing away on his phone.

  “What?” I ask, my voice small.

  He looks up, frowning when he sees my face. “Could you not have done something with your hair?”

  “My hair?”

  “Christopher will never be interested in having you by his side as his wife if you can’t even pull yourself together.”

  “Christopher?”

  “I’ve spent the best part of six months trying to arrange this meeting and selling you to him, don’t mess this up now.”

  “Mess it up?”

  My mind is a blurry mess, I can’t keep up with what he’s saying. College, Christopher, wife. I don’t want to go to college; I want to do what makes me happy, and designing gardens and working with beautiful flowers is what makes me happy.