What The Heart Knows

by Gadziala, Jessica

  “I'm not needed in Stars Landing,” James countered, sounding colder than he intended, realizing for the first time that he could behave a lot like his brother at times. “Sending me there was pointless in the first place.”

  Elliott lowered his brows, moving to sit down on one the the leather chairs in front of James' desk. “Alright... listen,” he started, starting to smile a little. “I have an eight month pregnant wife at home who slapped me last night for looking at her with my 'stupid face', a multi-million dollar deal that is days from falling to pieces... I cant have a brother with some kind of fucking identity crisis on top of it all.”

  James snorted. “I'm not having an identity crisis. I just thought it was time to take work a little more seriously is all. Maybe start looking at some apartments around here. Find a place close to work.”

  “James,” Elliott said, trying to mask the exasperation in his voice and failing miserably. “Seriously. What is going on?”

  James sat back in his chair, pulling at his tie until it loosened, letting him breathe properly for the first time all day. They had never been the kind of brothers who sat and discussed women and personal lives. Aside from Elliott's utter lack of touchy-feely emotions until he met Hannah, Elliott had always been more of a parental figure in James' life.

  Their mother had needed to work three jobs just to keep a roof over their heads and shoes on their feet. Their father just a faded memory to Elliott and nothing but an idea to James. So as far back as James could remember, Elliott had always been there. The one home when he got back from school. The one to make him snacks, help him with homework, play games with him, put him to bed. And later, Elliott had gotten a job which allowed their mother to stay home and spend quality time with James.

  It had been a strange shock to his system when Elliott went away to college, like a parent had gone away. And then their mother had died, hit by truck, leaving James to go to the hospital and watch as her life quickly slip away from her.

  Then there came Elliott again, older, colder than he had been when he left. Full of a raging kind of ambition, something that made the shitty college apartment in the shitty neighborhood easier to tolerate. While James turned into an ungrateful, difficult brat without any similar drive to grab onto.

  Elliott had eked out a life, started a company, provided James with the best kind of education money could buy. The only problem was Elliott had to pay dearly for those luxuries. Losing out on the opportunity to be young and stupid, to get to foster friendships, to experience healthy relationships. His entire life became work. And it had made him cool and distant. Intimidating and unfeeling at times.

  Until Hannah.

  And James was having a hard time adjusting to the new, improved two-point-oh version of Elliott Michaels.

  James shrugged, plastering on one of his jocular, carefree, easy smiles. “An employee is skimming off the books. And that is the only interesting thing that that little nowhere town has to offer.” Aside from a fiery redhead who he wanted nothing more than to throw onto a bed and fuck until she forgot all about that other guy in her bedroom.

  “Really? Stealing?” Elliott asked, looking like he didn't quite believe it. “From an inn?”

  “Yeah, I dunno. I told the manager and told her to take care of it.”

  “You... told,” Elliott said, smirking at the word. “Emily to do something?” he asked and James nodded. “and she didn't staple your balls to something?”

  “Come on,” James grinned. “have you ever met a woman who could say no to me?”

  Elliott shrugged. When he was right, he was right. “No, but Emily isn't exactly the usual kind of woman you always parade around with.”

  “You mean... young, beautiful...”

  “Vapid, insecure, gold-digging idiots,” Elliott finished.

  James found himself laughing, a unexpected appreciation of his brother's observations. Maybe he did have a tendency to date flighty, pretty, model-types. Maybe that was why Emily had been so refreshing.

  “You seriously weren't interested in her?” Elliott asked.

  “Nah,” James said, waving a hand.

  “Hmm,” Elliott said. “Let's... not tell Hannah that. Until she has the baby at least.”

  James smiled. “Who would have thought that the way to scare the untouchable, intimidating Elliott Michaels of EM Corp would be to bring a pregnant woman in to yell at him.”

  “Don't laugh,” Elliott said, looking like he was about to do just that. “You have no idea what she's like right now.”

  James scooted his chair back, putting his feet up on the edge of his desk, looking a little more at ease, a little more like himself. “Wait... why would Hannah care if I wasn't into Emily?”

  Elliott shook his head a little. “I don't know if it was the hormones or what... but when Lena got back here to tell us about the inn... Hannah decided you should be the one to send down there to check things out. She, ah, thought you two would hit it off.”

  James was silent for a minute, bringing a hand up to his eyes as he thought about gorgeous raven-haired, gray eyed Hannah and her haughty good nature. She was practical and independent. He couldn't imagine her trying to play matchmaker. Especially not with one of her closest friends. Hell, not with him. She knew about his reputation with women. “She didn't,” James said, letting his hand drop down to the armrest.

  “Yeah she did,” Elliott nodded. He sent his brother a knowing smile. “And judging by this act you are putting on today, I think you're lying and she was right.”

  “What makes you think Emily could accomplish something that hundreds of other women couldn't?”

  Elliott leaned back into his chair, stretching out and James was struck with the realization that he almost never got to see his brother like that. Relaxed. He was always ramrod straight, always pulled together. “I think because she is your opposite in almost all ways. She's serious and ambitious. Grounded. And she won't take shit from you. Hell, she gave me a talking-to that made me feel like a five year old.”

  “Sounds like her,” James said before he could catch himself.

  Elliott laughed, a short deep sound that James only usually got to hear when they were around Hannah. “You're so screwed.”

  James shook his head, putting his feet back on the floor. “No,” he said. “that's over.”

  “So something did happen,” Elliott said, ignoring the last comment.

  “Well, I mean... come on,” James said, smiling. “the woman is gorgeous. She dressed up as fucking Jessica Rabbit for Halloween and told me to take her to my coffin to have sex with her.”

  “Your... coffin.”

  “I was a vampire,” he clarified.

  “Right. That makes more sense. So... did you?”

  “Well I don't travel with my coffin,” James said, shrugging, smirking a little. “It's a bit cumbersome. And she was piss drunk. So I took her home and left.”

  “You're losing your touch, man,” Elliott said, clucking his tongue. “All that time down there and you didn't charm her out of her clothes? I'm embarrassed to call you my brother.”

  “Hey,” James said chuckling, holding out a hand. “you're not allowed to have an opinion. You're neutered now. Besides,” he said, shrugging. “I did just fine.”

  Elliott lifted a brow. “The truth finally comes out. So what? You just got bored of her?”

  James took a deep breath. He really didn't want to talk about it. If he talked about it, he had to think about it. He'd need to remember how good the sex was. He would have to think about the fact that she obviously already had someone in her life while she was slumming it with him. He'd have to face the actual facts of the situation and he was doing everything in his power to avoid that.

  But, there was Elliott, sitting there, giving him his full attention and he couldn't remember the last time his brother wanted to sit down and have a real conversation about his life. Most of their discussions revolved around Elliot
t lecturing him that it was time to grow up, to take his work more seriously, to stop living in hotels. And yet now there he was, not being a boss... just being a brother. And a needy part of James didn't want to ruin that.

  “She's already got someone,” he said finally.

  “What do you mean she's got someone? Hannah said Emily doesn't date. Not seriously.”

  “Yeah well apparently Emily doesn't tell her everything. Because I went to her room to give her some paperwork on this whole employee theft situation, and a man answered the door. Shirtless, barefoot. Looking completely comfortable in her space.”

  “What did she say when you asked her about it?” He watched as James' eyes fell to the desk and he shrugged. “You didn't even confront her about it?”

  “What's the point?” James asked sounding uncharacteristically defeated. “We had sex twice. While stranded at a damn lodge. In the same room. The same bed. It was probably just a lapse in judgment for her. Drunken ramblings aside, she never pursued me. In hindsight, she was fighting the attraction. I thought it was because she didn't want to fuck around with her boss, but maybe it was because she already had a guy. She was probably upset enough about cheating on him. My accusing her wasn't gonna do anything to help the situation.”

  “So you just left?”

  “Yeah,” James said, shrugging.

  “Alright,” Elliott said, allowing James to take a breath. He wasn't going to call him out on his obvious emotional attachment. “So what is the plan now?”

  “The plan for what? What I am going to be doing? Or what is going to go on with the inn deal?”

  “Either. Both.”

  “I'll correspond with Emily via email about any issues. I will find a designer and contractor and set up a plan with them and send them over to Stars Landing.”

  “That's gonna go over real well with Emily,” Elliott said.

  “She'll learn to live with it,” James said, cringing at the hint of vengeance in his voice. That wasn't him. He wasn't the revenge kind of guy. “As for me,” he said, lifting a shoulder. “like I said... I am going to be more involved in things around here. I want to get a place. Furniture. A cleaning lady.”

  “Take up knitting. Get a half dozen cats...” Elliott supplied.

  “Fuck off,” James smiled, throwing a pen across the desk at him. “I'm not turning into a spinster. I just... don't want to live out of a suitcase anymore.”

  Elliott looked at him for a minute, opening his mouth as if he was going to say something, then thinking better of it. “Alright. Sounds like you have it all figured out,” he said, standing up. “If you need a real estate agent or... a tour of the building,” he smirked, knowing James had been 'working' there for years and had probably only seen three floors of the company. “let me know.”

  “Hey,” James said as Elliott reached the door. “I'm sure Carter is good at what he does and all,” he smiled. “but couldn't you have hired a woman? All those road trips and hotel stays would be a lot more tolerable with a woman for company.”

  “Sure,” Elliott said, nodding as he opened the door. “convince Lena to come back.”

  Jame spent the rest of the day throwing himself into work. Ignoring the swirling thoughts inside. Burying the frustration between the pages of plans to take over struggling companies. The floor cleared out at five, people saying goodbyes, making plans to meet for drinks after work.

  Across the room, Carter was still on a phone call he had picked up over an hour ago, his shoulders getting lower by the second. He had a hand to his face, rubbing at the bridge of his nose, looking completely frustrated.

  “Who is that?” James asked quietly.

  Carter put his hand over the receiver. “The owner of that little coffee chain Elliott wants to invest in.”

  “What's the problem?

  “Big corporations know nothing about quality assurance.”

  James snorted, reaching for the phone. “What's her name?”

  “Adalaine.”

  James nodded, picking up the phone. “Adalaine, darling, how are you doing this evening?”

  “Who is this?” the woman's voice said from the other end. “Carter?”

  “No, Addy, this is James Michaels.”

  There was a long pause. “Michaels? As in...”

  “The brother,” he clarified, his voice slipping easily back into his usual flirtatious tone.

  Across the room, Carter hung up the phone, leaned forward, and started banging his head off the top of his desk.

  James stifled a laugh as Adalaine started on a long speech about what happens when big business takes over small chains. The woman didn't even seem to need to stop and take a breath as she rambled on and on about employee wages and coffee house authenticity. Her stubborn devotion to her work reminding him a little too much of Emily.

  Fifteen minutes later, he was rubbing the bridge of his nose too, seconds from banging his head off his desk as well. “I agree wholeheartedly,” he said, taking a deep breath. “Right. Yes. Absolutely. I think a meeting at one of your coffee houses is a great idea. Let us get the feel for what you are saying. What things you need to show us that you want to keep the same and yeah. Mmmhmm. Yes. No,” he said, sending Carter an apologetic look for what he was about to do to the poor man. “No it won't be me for this visit. It will be Carter. He is the head of acquisitions here.”

  Across the room Carter was squinting his eyes at him. “Well played,” he said quietly.

  “Right. Okay. Thursday. Great. He will see you then. Thanks, Adalaine.”

  James hung up the phone, grabbing his hair in his hands, looking at the ceiling. “Fuuuuccck.”

  “I hate you,” Carter grumbled.

  “Dude,” James said, laughing a humorless laugh. “I think I would quit before I went to that meeting.”

  “Elliott is obsessed with that coffee. My bonus this year depends on me landing this deal.”

  “Right,” James said, standing. “then I recommend not planning on buying anything expensive. She's a raging lunatic. I need to have a drink after that,” he said, going to the door.

  Carter started banging his head against the desk again, cursing Adalaine St. James seven ways to Sunday.

  James made his way to the closest bar, threw himself into a bottle of scotch, and went home with the first woman to smile slyly at him.

  And then he did the same thing the next night.

  And the night after that.

  And the night after that.

  Nineteen

  Employees had taken to walking out of the rooms Emily entered. No one really knew what, exactly, had happened the day after James left. The day Alec was fired. And no one dared to ask. Because Emily had become a tyrant. She snapped at the servers when she found them talking in the kitchen when there were tables full in the dining room. She lectured Devon about needing to pull his weight. She argued with Meggie about the menus.

  Though, much to the relief of the remaining staff members, she had single handedly taken on the responsibility of taking care of the stables. Everyone had always sort of assumed that Alec spent an hour in the morning feeding and putting the horses out in the field and then spent most of the rest of his days hauled up in his office reading or jerking off to porn.

  Emily learned within one day that nothing could have been further from the truth. She had gone into Alec's office early the next morning, turning the light on with a ridiculous surge of unease. Like she might find images of murdered puppies on his computer or “you'll pay for this, bitch” scrawled on the walls.

  She had never been in Alec's office since it became his office. The walls were the same faded white she had been forced to paint it years ago. There was a small wooden desk pushed against a wall with a computer and a small pile of paperwork. The walls had glossy charts tacked into them. One of all the different breeds of horses. One was a list of supplies used to care for horses with. Like he had been prepared for the possibilit
y one day that he wouldn't be around and someone else would need to take care of the animals.

  Like they were his babies.

  Which, she had to admit, they were to him.

  Emily wasn't sure she had ever cared about anything the way Alec cared about horses. She walked over to the supply chart, looking over the images of brushes and hoof picks and saddles. About an hour later, she felt comfortable enough with the differences between a curry brush and a dandy brush to take the horses one by one into the grooming stall to pamper them before putting them out in the field to graze. After she was done with that, there was the mucking out to be dealt with. Then saddling up the horses for anyone who wanted to ride them. Bringing them back in. Grooming them again. Putting them back in their stalls.

  It ended up taking a huge chunk out of her day. But she welcomed the distraction. She took pride in the sore muscles, in her eyes that were too exhausted to stay open or cry. Because she had a sneaking suspicion that if she opened up those floodgates again, that there would be no closing them back up. That she would spend every day for the foreseeable future with tears clinging to her eyelashes.

  Not over him, though. Fuck him. Fuck him and his fleeing the inn before he even gave her a chance to explain about Dane. Fuck him and his amazing, toe-tingling kisses. Just... fuck him.

  It was the whole situation in general. The upcoming renovations. Her lack of control. The betrayal of one of her own. The added responsibilities. The fact that she could never hire someone new with the kind of blind trust she had in the past. The idea that her fairy tale little town had some wolves in the woods after all.

  It was a full week before she heard word from EM Corp. In all honestly, she wasn't sure she would hear from him at all. She had imagined him on some hot beach fucking everything in a bikini. She thought things like that. To punish herself. To remind herself that she hadn't lost some kind of prize. But apparently he was back at EM. Working. Like actually doing work there.

  She sat at the desk in the stable office, logging into her email. Something she did every once in a blue moon so all the junk mail wouldn't pile up or she missed, by some strange miracle, an email from her absent brother.