Bravura

by Sara Kingsley

  I feel my face warming. I sit down next to her, trying to form the words. Do I tell her about the terrible vision from Fortissima? No—they would think I was insane. I decide to stick with the simple facts.

  “It’s not why I returned … at first. I came to help my friend Leif find his father.” Mum’s brows go up at hearing Leif’s name. Clearly one she’s heard before. “We had planned—are planning—on returning to Nuimana. But then news of my arrival had spread. And I found out Hunters were on their way here—oh!” I’m hit with the realization that if I would have stayed put on Nuimana like I was supposed to, my family mightn’t be in this situation to begin with. I put my face in my hands, wanting only to curl up and never move again.

  I’m no Woman King, feeling like this.

  I felt so much stronger on Nuimana. I felt like I mattered. Now I feel powerless. Tiny and inconsequential. Worse of all—dangerous. To myself, my family, everyone I love. It hits my chest like a tree falling on it: I’ve made a huge mistake coming back here.

  My mum’s voice is calm as she places a warm hand on my back. “No, Raven. It’s not what you think. Araroa was always going to find out about us. We’ve been prepared for this—always. He’s a man of revenge, whether you are here or there, alive—or not.” Her words echo around the small room, and I know them to be true. “You did the right thing. You are doing the right thing.”

  I look up at her face. She, too, seems much older than I remember. Tiny creases frame her mouth and eyes.

  “But Baldachin is in danger,” I argue. “The King’s Hunters are coming. I’m so sorry, Miss Lilith. I’m so sorry for not listening to you. My coming here has made everything worse. For everyone.”

  Miss Lilith is still smiling. She reaches over to pat my hand. I can hardly believe she’s not furious with me for disobeying her. “You know what? I think we should all get some sleep. Talk about this more in the morning after a good rest and a good breakfast. What do you all think?”

  My mind is such a jumbled mess of conflict that I eagerly take Mum’s offered hand. She helps me up, and we start toward the door. But I pull away, back to Miss Lilith. While I hug her tightly once more, she whispers in my ear so only I can hear.

  “You are braver than you think, Raven Araroa.”

  Coming from her, I have to believe it.

  Despite being back in my very own bed, in my very own treehome in Baldachin, the place I’ve been dreaming of returning to for so long, I sleep terribly.

  It is a night of tortured dreams. Images of our village burning, our beloved trees charred black, everything gone up in smoke. Then Leif, in a crowd of people. Bloodied and frightened. He’s screaming, as if he were being tortured. Hannah is there too.

  Waking up is a relief. Even if my reality is not so very different than the dreams.

  I wrap my arms around myself, pretending they are Leif’s. I close my eyes and listen to the wind in the treetops. I imagine it is the sound of the ocean instead. I take a deep breath through my nose desiring the tang of salt air … but I smell bacon instead.

  The thick smell of Mum’s cooking jolts me out of my fantasy. I reluctantly peel myself out of bed to join my family for breakfast. As I dig in to the feast she’s prepared—potato hash, sausages, bacon, fruit cobbler, mugs of rich coffee—I forget about my regret of coming back for a few minutes.

  While I’m eating, Miss Lilith arrives.

  “Come on in, Lilith. Why don’t you have a bit to eat,” Mum encourages.

  Miss Lilith considers this, then shakes her head. “Oh no. I couldn’t. I’ve already eaten.” But she’s peering over into the pans on the stove with curiosity. “Maybe I could have a small bite.” Mum smiles, already piling food onto a plate for her. Miss Lilith sits down across from me. She’s holding a bundle of flowers and goes about arranging them into the vase set in the center of our round table. Sunlight streams in through the open window next to us, right through the delicate flower petals, making them appear translucent.

  I set down my fork, unable to eat another bite. Miss Lilith accepts the tea Mum places in front of her and stirs in a spoonful of sugar.

  “Have you thought about what I said last night? About coming with me to Nuimana?”

  Miss Lilith’s hand stops, just for a beat, before she continues her stirring and blowing onto the steaming tea. She takes a tiny sip to test it before she answers. “Of course.”

  “And?”

  “And Nuimana is very, very far away from here. You, out of anyone, know that. Besides, how would we get”—her head bobs up and down as she counts silently—“at least seven, perhaps eight, of us, plus the additional horses we’d need, all the way through Nadir, through the Bastion, and to the port? Not to mention the sea voyage …”

  I swear she turns a little bit green at the thought. “We could buy more horses in Alderwood. I’ve got plenty of money.”

  “You do indeed. But don’t you think we might as well be waving red flags as we go? It would be impossible to escape the notice of King Araroa’s Hunters. Not to mention the Loyalists, of which we have no clear idea how many there are, or where they are. Then we’d all be doomed. Not the least of whom would be yourself.” She leans forward, her eyes intent on me. Determined I understand her next words. “Raven, I promised your Queen mother, Seraphine, that I would keep you safe. I’m not sure she agreed sending you off on Nuimana on your own qualified. But intentionally putting your own life at risk to carry us back with you?” She shakes her head. “No, agreeing to let you do that would certainly be breaking my word.”

  My heart starts speeding up. I can’t believe she’s saying what I think she is. “You mean you are just going to stay here?”

  Miss Lilith purses her lips together and leans back again. “Yes, Raven. We need to stay here. We need to be here to help the village if—when—the worst happens. This is where I belong now. You belong on Nuimana. At least until things settle down here. It could be decades, I’m afraid. Araroa is not all that old, and he probably has many years left to rule.”

  “But what about my broth—what about Dominic? Won’t he take command of the kingdom when the old King has died?”

  Miss Lilith tilts her head and raises a single brow. “That’s one possible outcome.”

  I think of the Treasoners then. How they’ve got this idea that I could claim my right to the throne of Nadir. That I could be Woman King of all of Nadir, one day. I’m flooded with guilt once again, that by my being here, back in Nadir, their hope only grows. An impossible dream. “Won’t Dominic want me dead too?”

  The room is silent. Mum has been bustling with the dishes, but she stops what she’s doing. The air is thick with the truth that I’ll never truly be safe in Nadir. Ever. I will always be hunted. A threat.

  It’s then that I realize someone is missing. “Where’s Papa?” I crane my neck to peer inside his and Mum’s room, but their bed is made. Empty. Mum sets down the plate she’s dried and turns around to face me. “He’s in a meeting with the other men. They are making plans—” Her voice cracks. She coughs, a hand over her mouth. Then she continues, composed. “They are making plans for what to do when the Hunters arrive.”

  My heart falls down through the floor, down all the way where it slams onto the ground below us. I know with certainty my family is not coming with me.

  Papa would never desert the village he was born and raised in. Of course he wouldn’t. He belongs here. He’s making promises to the other treevillage men, right as I sit here. Plans to protect their home, plans I know he will follow through on because that’s the kind of man he is. He will protect his village. Keep his neighbors safe. And if the village is destroyed? He will help rebuilt it.

  The sun pouring through the window has shifted and is blazing right onto me. Droplets of sweat form on the back of my neck. Suddenly the room feels stifling. I’ve got to go outside. Get some air.

  “I’m going to visit the river.” I sigh.

  Miss Lilith smiles understandingly. “Of cours
e. Think about what I’ve said.”

  Which is exactly what I don’t want to do.

  My anger grows with every step I take away from my treehome. I can’t believe I came all the way here. All for nothing. My family isn’t going to leave with me. They aren’t going to run and hide. Not like me.

  They are prepared to defend and die for their home. To keep the promises they’ve made. But me being so eager to leave? To run again? Maybe that means I don’t belong here. Not anymore.

  I’m still fuming when I jump down from the ladder onto the soft ground. I turn around and smack straight into Catriona.

  “Raven! I was just coming to find you.” She studies my face for only a second. “Are you okay?”

  “Fine,” I say, when obviously I’m not. “What’s going on?”

  “I am heading out again. Back to the Treasoners.”

  “What are you doing for them, exactly?”

  Catriona looks around, making sure there’s no one nearby who could hear us. We’re alone. “I’m keeping track of where the Hunters are. They are moving in small groups, searching villages. But not the wilderness. That’s why the Treasoners are gathering where they are.”

  “But aren’t they burning as they go?”

  Catriona looks confused. “Where did you hear that?”

  I try to remember. Was it Imogen? No, it wasn’t—it was Tui. “I don’t remember,” I tell Catriona. “Is it not true?”

  “Not that I know of. I haven’t seen or heard of any burned-up villages. I’ve only heard about the prison camp. It’s up in the Northern Desert, and I also hear it’s filling up, and fast.” Her eyes are sparkling with the idea of so many people going against Araroa. I have to admit I get a tiny thrill in my stomach too. But, it’s a prison camp. The thrill immediately dissipates.

  “If you find Leif—”

  “I’ll send him your way,” she says with a wink. I notice she’s already got a full pack with her and must be on her way to get Hazel.

  “If you see Tui, let him know I’m looking for him.”

  “Will do. All of the above. I’ll check back in a few weeks to see if you’ve got everyone ready to go.”

  “Oh. They’re not coming.”

  “Wait—what? They’re still not coming? If your family stays here, they’re sitting ducks. They’re—”

  “I know, I know. I’ve been talking to them, but Papa’s already making plans to defend the village with the other men. Miss Lilith says the trip to Nuimana would be too difficult …” All of a sudden, I’m out of energy to even explain.

  “I heard. This morning. I heard the men talking, your papa with them too. But I thought he was helping the others get ready. Damn, Raven. I’m so sorry. No, I’m not, actually. Because I know you’ll convince them to go with you. They probably just need time to get used to the idea.”

  “Where’s your family? They’re still here, right?”

  Catriona nods. “For now. They’re ready to get away, though. If it comes to that. I’ve told them the Treasoners will be happy to have them join up.” Her eyes sparkle again. I can tell she loves all this. But her family of trackers will have no trouble moving through the lands of Nadir without notice.

  “Well, wish me luck.” I try to force a smile, but it’s pretty weak.

  Catriona pats me on the shoulder. “You can do it. If anyone can.” She flashes me a bright grin and turns to leave.

  I only hope she’s right.

  When I reach the river, I lie in the grass, sinking in among tiny purple and yellow flowers. The mid-morning sun scorches my face, but I close my eyes and let it soak in. Still, it’s nothing like the hot, tropical sun on Nuimana.

  I must have nearly fallen asleep when the voice above startles me.

  “It’s good to be home, isn’t it?” Tui’s beaming face blocks out the sun above.

  He sits down beside me, and the sun blinds me for a few seconds. I sit up, blinking.

  “It is good to be home. Not quite what I expected to happen, though.” I fill Tui in with what my parents and Miss Lilith had said, about not leaving Baldachin like I’d hoped.

  Tui sighs. “My mum and dad aren’t going anywhere either. They don’t want me to leave again, to boot.”

  “We’re all sheep in a field surrounded by wolves here, you know.”

  “I know.”

  We sit silently for a while, watching the river flowing past, rippling over rocks. Several small fish jump, trying to swim upstream.

  I look over at Tui. His face has that dreamy look on it again. “You wish you were with her, don’t you?”

  He knows exactly who I’m talking about. “I do. I feel useless here. At least Cat is doing something. Helping people.”

  “Were you at the meeting this morning?”

  Tui nods. “Yes, I was. I think it’s all a bit futile, to be honest. If Araroa wants to take our village down, he’ll do it.” He shrugs. “What can we do, really?”

  Then I remember what he’d said about the Hunters burning villages down, and what Catriona had said about that not being true. I will my voice to stay calm.

  “Tui, Catriona said the Hunters have not burned any villages. You must have heard otherwise?” I glance over at him; he’s suppressing a smile and doesn’t answer right away. “Tui?” But I’ve already forgiven him. I realize why he told me that: to convince me to come back here, instead of returning to Nuimana as Miss Lilith wanted.

  “Aw, I’m sorry, Raven, I really am. Miss Lilith was insistent that I not allow you to return with me. But I was really hoping you would.”

  “I would have come anyway. You didn’t need to lie to me.”

  Tui puffs out his cheeks, then lets a big breath of air out. “I know. I really am sorry about that. There’s another reason.”

  I look over at him again. He’s got one brow raised, a corner of his mouth pulled up.

  “And what’s that?”

  “I was hoping the story would get Leif to come with us too. When he told me Nile was missing, I was sure I’d convinced him to come with us. I’m sorry, Raven, that he kept looking. Really sorry, because Nile was fine the whole time. And now …”

  But I know what he was about to say: now we have no idea where Leif is. Or where Catriona is off to, for that matter.

  “So—did you tell her?”

  Tui looks confused, then a blush of pink spreads across his nose and cheeks. “Naw, didn’t get the chance. I only had a minute to say goodbye, when she came to get Hazel.

  “Tui!”

  He throws his hands up in the air and laughs. “I know! I know! I swear I’ll tell her when I see her again. Whether it’s here or … somewhere else.”

  Those two words seem to echo inside my head. Somewhere else. I’ve not even been back a day, back to my home, the place I’ve wanted to return to all year, and already it’s clear I won’t be here for long.

  The days pass as they always have in Baldachin. The summer sun shines. Tui and I fish by the river together as we used to do.

  But there’s a lot that is different. The men gather nightly to work on carving their weapons. Papa shows me the spear he has carved from hardwood: long and sharp with intricate designs on the handle. I tell him it’s beautiful, but I can barely get the words out from my dry throat. I’ve rarely seen him carve any weapons before.

  It’s not all doom and gloom. The treevillagers hold an epic welcome-home party for me, on the night of the full moon. In the center of our village, up in the treetops, there are tables of food, including several platters of fish—delicious golden harp no less—enough for everyone. Music and laughter and candle lanterns. People give speeches welcoming me back, saying how proud they are to have watched me grow up here, to have grown up with me. I even get Tui to dance.

  The following day, I talk to Miss Lilith again, try to convince her to leave. But she refuses, still. One evening I finally break down, apologize for coming back, for not staying put on Nuimana. But she remains unflustered. She swears that Araroa wouldn’t re
st without revenge, either way.

  “I know you can handle this truth, now, with all that you’ve done, Raven.”

  “Can I? And what is that?” I’m wiping tears from my face with the handkerchief Miss Lilith has handed me.

  “That as long as you’re alive, anyone you’ve touched is in danger from Araroa’s wrath.”

  I laugh at the absurdity of that. “Well, that doesn’t make me feel any better!”

  “It’s not supposed to,” she says. “I say that so you stop feeling sorry for yourself. And begin to look forward. At what you can do.”

  She doesn’t have to say it, but I know what she’s talking about. It’s what the Treasoners are talking about, what Imogen asked me. To openly defy King Araroa. It’s becoming clear that it’s either that or spend my life in hiding and watch those I love be plucked off, one by one.

  But I’m just not ready. Not yet.

  A few days later, the sound of a horse approaching the village echoes through the treetops. I’m still in bed, but I’m up and dressed in a flash. I peer down through the trees and am relieved to see it’s Catriona.

  The relief lasts only a second. I hadn’t expected to see her for weeks.

  I run over to the ladder and nearly crash into Tui. He mumbles a sleepy apology and waves me ahead. Within seconds, we’re both on the ground and running over to Catriona.

  “Hello, you two!” she calls out. “Well, this is some welcome!”

  Tui grabs her hand. “Catriona, there’s something I have to tell you—”

  But Catriona interrupts him. “Tui, it’s got to wait. I’ve got news for Raven. And it’s not good, not at all.”

  I’m still recovering my breath. So out of shape after all this time away from the trees. “What is it? Why are you back so soon?”

  Her face is dead serious. “It’s Leif. He tried to get Hannah out of the Northern Desert prison camp. But they got caught.”

  Chapter 19

  I am utterly, positively speechless.

  My mind is clogged with a thousand questions. “What do you—why was he—and how do you know this?”