Locket full of Secrets

by Dana Burkey

  “Time to get up Claire,” a voice rang out next to me. “You’re going to be late for class again if you don’t get up!”

  Rubbing the sleep from my eyes I sat up in time to watch as Norra left our dorm room, turning the overhead light on before she slipped out. Blinking at the sudden light, I rolled out of my bed and stumbled towards my closet. With less than half an hour until class started, I knew I needed to hurry or I would never make it.

  Rummaging through my closet quickly, I got dressed while hopping to the bathroom to brush my teeth and fix my hair. It was early, but I wanted to put at least a little effort in since I would see Stephen in my math class later. Once I looked like I hadn’t just woken up, I picked up my backpack and headed outside. Ready or not, it was time for class.

  Walking out into the fall weather helped to wake me completely. It was sunny and cold out, with bright colors covering every tree on campus. It was my favorite season, and instantly made me want to get in my car and drive to White House Fruit Farms. Sadly, that only served as a reminder how far I was from home.

  Although I had only been at school for a little over a month it was still hard each day being away from my parents. After everything that had happened with Olena, I spent more time at home than ever. The friendships I had at school before the incident quickly crumbled when rumors about what happened at Perkins swept through the school. Refusing to relive the moment any more than I had to, I shut out everyone. Then, after graduation I spend my summer rethinking my college plans. No longer wanting to attend Ohio State where I might run into someone I knew, I decided to go to the one place no one from Ohio would think to go: Michigan.

  Northwest Michigan College was one of two schools in Michigan I had applied for, but won out since it was farthest from Youngstown. Over 7 hours from home, I was certain I would not run into anyone from high school on campus. And, a month later, it was proving to be quite true. I still had not seen anyone I knew from home, and no one at school seemed to know about the news story that surrounded me my senior year.

  After an uneventful biology class I headed to math, grabbing a coffee on the way. Staying focused sitting next to Steven was hard enough. Add in a late night of studying, and I was sure to get even further behind in the class.

  “Good morning sunshine!” Steven announced as I slid into the seat next to him. As usual his comment made me absentmindedly run my fingers through my hair. I doubted he would have given me the nickname before I added the highlights to my dishwater blond locks.

  “Hey Steven,” I smiled, unloading my notebook and sipping on my coffee.

  “So are you ready for tomorrow?” he asked, brushing his dazzling blond hair out of his face. Between his hair, his tan skin, and his chocolate brown eyes, every time I talked to him I had to remind myself to breathe. Steven Jackson had all the good looks of the popular guys back home, only he actually talked to me like my opinion mattered.

  “Tomorrow?” I asked, looking away to keep the distractions at a minimum.

  “Yeah, the test?” Steven tried again, pointing to where Professor Keating had written the announcement on the chalkboard.

  “Oh no,” I groaned, leaning forward to rest my forehead on the desktop in front of me. “I totally forgot.”

  “Sounds like someone might need an extra week to study.” Steven laughed, nudging his shoulder into mine.

  “More like an extra month,” I sighed, slowly sitting up before slumping in my seat.

  “What about a study buddy instead?” he asked, resting his arm on the back of my chair.

  A grin quickly spread across my face. But, before I could answer, class began. It gave me plenty of time to think through the best way to say yes. Steven and I had hung out a few times in the minutes between classes. He was the first guy to really show interest in me in years, but I was still nervous that I was reading too much into it all. While other girls in my high school went on dates and flirted with guys, I sat at home reading books. Thanks to my lack of a social life, I felt years behind everyone else. Now, with Steven sitting so close to me each day I found myself desperate to catch up fast.

  “So, what do you say?” Steven asked as we packed up our bags when class finally ended. “Do you want to get together tonight and study?”

  “Sounds like a plan,” I responded, trying to sound casual. “Where should we meet?”

  “Well, my roommate usually goes to bed around 9, so unless we plan to be done by then, we could meet at your place,” Steven suggested. I turned and put my notebook back into my backpack to hide the blush on my face.

  “Yeah, that could work.” I shrugged, finally turning to face him as we walked out of our lecture hall. It was a miracle I did not trip and fall on my face thanks to the sudden nervousness in my stomach.

  As we decided on the best time to meet, I couldn’t help but feel like things were finally going my way. Not only was I spending time with Steven, I did a decent job of not acting like a total loser. I had a feeling if he knew that the last guy I kissed was as part of a dare at Tiffany Gooding’s 7th grade birthday party, he wouldn’t stop laughing for a month.

  Pushing the awkward middle school memory from my mind, I could not help but smile as I walked across campus to my next class. Between Steven, the fall air, and the caffeine I felt running through my body, I felt more awake and alive than I had in a while. Choosing a school in Michigan was proving to be a better and better plan all the time.

  After two hours of studying my brain felt like it was going to melt. The only consolation was that the more frustrated I got, the more encouraging Steven became.

  “I think we need a snack break,” Steven announced, reaching into his bag and pulling out two cans of Surge and a bag of Doritos 3D.

  “You are the best!” I laughed, gladly accepting one of the cans. “I can’t believe you’ve had these the whole time and didn’t tell me sooner.”

  “It’s a reward for getting through so much study time,” he grinned, opening the chips and setting them on the floor between us.

  “Worth the wait at least,” I smiled, grabbing some snacks from the bag.

  Sliding my notes and book away from me I stretched out my legs and leaned back against my bed. I was feeling much better about the test, but at the same time did not want Steven to leave so soon.

  “So do you miss Ohio?” Steven asked while we snacked. We had chatted some about our high school experiences before and after class, but never had much time since we were always rushing to or coming from other classes.

  “A little bit,” I said honestly. “I’m really close with my parents, so being so far from home is a little tough to get used to.”

  “What about your friends back home?” he asked, tossing a chip into the air before catching it in his mouth.

  “Not really,” I admitted. “I didn’t really leave a lot of friends behind. I did my own thing in high school.”

  Staring at the can of pop in my hand, I felt bad for not telling Steven more. I felt like this would be a perfect chance to open up to him, but how could I tell him my best friend was a suspected murderer that was still at large? He would likely never talk to me again if he knew the only people I hung out with over the last few months were my parents. Maybe facts like that would be better saved for later. Like a few years down the road even. Or when we were 80.

  “Who’s that then?” Steven pointed at a frame on my desk.

  “That’s my mom,” I laughed.

  “No way!” Steven exclaimed, standing up to get a better look at the photo. “Are you sure she’s not your sister or something?”

  “Yes, I’m sure. It was a few years ago, but that’s my mom,” I laughed. “I can’t wait to tell her you said that though. She’s going to love it!”

  Taking a closer look, Steven seemed suddenly very interested in the photo. Turning to face me he pointed at the image once again. “That’s a really cool necklace you're wearing.”

  “It was a gift from a friend,” I managed, my throat suddenly d
ry. I was frustrated at how instantly my body reacted. Even thinking about Olena brought back the storm of emotions I was always trying to keep at bay.

  “Are you okay?” Steven asked moving to sit next to me once again.

  “Yeah, I’m fine,” I sighed. “Things just ended badly with my friend. We never got the chance to clear things up, so it’s still hard to talk about.”

  “I’m sorry I brought it up,” he apologized, resting his hand on top of mine.

  “It’s okay, you didn’t know,” I shrugged, my skin warming under his touch. “I didn’t realize that was the necklace I was wearing in the photo. I left the necklace at home when I packed for college and kind of thought I would never have to see it again. It’s just my luck that it’s been staring at me from across the room this whole time.”

  “Well, if it helps, we can always sharpie over the photo so it looks like you’re wearing a different necklace,” Steven winked, his hand still not moving from mine.

  “I don’t think we need to do all that,” I smiled, leaning closer to him inadvertently.

  “Okay, but let me know if you think of anything I can do to help,” he added, leaning closer as well.

  I was suddenly aware of the fact we were in my dorm room. Alone. Where my bed was. My cheeks flushed even thinking about the possibilities. As Steven’s hands curled tighter around mine I found myself lost in his eyes, now close enough for me to see the rim of his contacts. Holding my breath, time seemed to freeze as Steven leaned even closer.

  “Who wants pizza?!” Norra bellowed as she burst into the room.

  Pulling back from Steven I willed my face to go back to a normal color as Norra set the pizza on her desk, oblivious to what she had interrupted.

  “It’s mushroom, but you can pick it off if you don’t like it,” she explained, before turning and seeing Steven finally. “Oh, hi! I’m Norra.”

  “Steven,” he said with a slight wave before glancing at me with a sheepish smile.

  “Norra works at the pizza shop in town so she gets to bring home goodies pretty often,” I explained, standing up to turn on the ceiling fan. The room was suddenly much hotter than it had been a few minutes ago.

  As we dug into the pizza while listening to Norra talk about her crazy night at work, I couldn't help but to keep glancing at Steven. If Norra had not interrupted us, I was certain he was going to kiss me. It was quite a different emotion than I had felt when memories of Olena had been brought up just moments before. Holding onto the hope that there were more moments to come I did my best to just enjoy this time with friends. It was something I hadn’t had in a long time, so I did my best to savor it while it lasted.

  “Well that was less horrible than I thought!” I smiled as I exited class after my math test the next afternoon. Steven had finished before me but waited outside the classroom doors.

  “I’m sure you did great,” he laughed, before wrapping an arm around my shoulders as we walked down the hall.

  As we stepped outside and into the fall weather I snuggled closer to Steven, the wind cutting across campus. His arm wrapped tighter around me, warming me with his presence and also the feel of his body so close to mine.

  “What are you doing the rest of the day?” Steven asked as we stood a few steps from the building.

  “I have class until 1:30, but then I’m free,” I answered.

  “Want to get an early dinner, then maybe go see a movie?” Turning to face me, Steven waited patiently for my answer.

  “I would love to,” I smiled, praying I sounded casual despite my racing heart.

  “Perfect, it’s a date,” he grinned down at me. “How about I meet you at your dorm around 2?”

  “Sounds good,” I nodded before adding, “I can’t wait.”

  As Steven and I parted ways for our next classes, I felt like I was walking on air. First a great study session, then a test that I might have actually passed with better than a C, and now a real date with Steven. I almost had to pinch myself to make sure I was not dreaming. For the first time in a while things seemed to be going right in my life.

  Before I knew it, it was already almost 2 o’clock. With barely enough time to dab on some extra makeup and my new cable knit sweater, Steven arrived at my dorm. We walked across campus towards the restaurant he had chosen, our conversation flowing naturally.

  “This place is great,” I announced as we dug into our food at the restaurant. The place was frequented by college students and known for its great home cooking. My soup and sandwich were living up to its good reputation so far.

  “Glad you are enjoying it,” he smiled in reply. “And I was thinking, rather than go see a movie we should go for a walk after this. The leaves are really great over by the bay.”

  “I would love to,” I managed between bites of my food. The more time I could spend with Steven, the better.

  “So, your roommate seems really cool,” Steven commented as we continued to work on our food.

  “Yeah, she’s really nice,” I agreed. “She’s actually grew up here in town but gets to live on campus with her scholarship.”

  “Is she an English major too?” he asked, taking a sip of his coke.

  “No. But she is an art major so we can relate with our creative stuff,” I shrugged. It was mostly true, although we did not spend much time together outside of our dorm room. With the short conversation about Olena the day before I did not want Steven to think I was some complete loner.

  Eating in comfortable silence for a minute, I pushed away the thoughts of Olena and everyone back home. College was a fresh start so I was not going to let anything from the past get in the way.

  “So you said your roommate goes to bed really early?” I asked, hoping to steer the conversation away from me for a while.

  “Yeah, he’s a math major and is a little too obsessed with his classes,” Steven laughed. “His name is Thad, and I guess he’s from Chicago or something.”

  “Wait, your roommate is a math major and we studied for our math test without him?” I asked in shock.

  Steven frowned for a second before smiling and adding, “Next test, we make him study with us for sure.”

  “Okay good,” I nodded. It was good to know I would have someone to help me keep my math grade up, but at the same time I was okay with how our study session had ended.

  We kept up small talk the rest of the meal. Steven talked some about his mom back home in California, his plans to travel next summer, and also his favorite new movie: The Matrix.

  “I was so confused when I watched that movie,” I admitted, after Steven told me he had seen the new release four times in theaters.

  “Well, I guess I know what we need to do on our next date then,” he commented, as we put on our coats and headed outside the restaurant.

  “Our next date?” I asked, my heart rate picking up just a little at the mention of it.

  “Yeah,” he smiled, reaching out to hold my hand. “I see a lot more evenings like this in our future.”

  Lacing my fingers through his I could not help but smile as we headed towards the bay to see the fall colors and slowly setting sun. Just holding his hand caused a small weight to be lifted off of me. This was how it should be. This was how normal 18 year olds acted. Maybe if I kept the charade up long enough it would stick for good this time.

  Over the next three week I began spending more time with Steven than I spent in class, even with a full schedule. After our night at dinner and walk by the bay we started meeting for morning coffee, having lunch together, and hung out almost every evening. I will still new to the whole “dating” scene, but it felt really natural to make plans with him and spend time together.

  “So what are we going to do tonight?” I asked as we left math class hand in hand.

  “Doesn't Norra have an art show? We could go check it out,” Steven offered before glancing at his watch.

  “Yeah, that sounds good,” I nodded, pulling my scarf tighter around my neck.

  “Okay,
I’ll meet you at your dorm after class,” he nodded, before leaning down and planting a kiss on my cheek.

  Before I could reply he was heading off towards his history class, the opposite direction I needed to travel. Resting my gloved hand on my cheek, I could not help but frown. He had seemed distracted when we got coffee first thing in the morning, but I assumed he was just tired. Now, he seemed even worse. And on top of it all, I was still going out of my mind waiting for Steven to make his move and really kiss me. He was all for hand holding and pecks on my cheek, but since our near moment during our first study session things were strictly G rated between us.

  When 2 o’clock finally rolled around I had all but forgotten about my disappointment over my lack of passion with Steven. After a rather grueling essay test in my Women in Literature class, I left for my dorm excited to see Steven, even if there would be no overly romantic moments involved.

  “You want to get some food first?” Steven asked as we headed out of my dorm building and into the fall weather.

  “That would be great,” I smiled, taking his hand automatically. It took a second for his fingers to curl around mine, but I tried not to focus on it too much.

  Glancing at his watch as we crossed campus towards the Arby’s in the center of town, Steven seemed to be distracted by something. Despite trying to chat with him, he didn’t even look my way until I said his name three times.

  “Are you okay?” I asked, wrapping my free hand around his arm as I snuggled closer to him while we walked.

  “What?” He seemed almost startled by my question. “Oh, yeah, sorry. I just had a long day in class. Didn’t get much sleep last night either.”