He picked up my hand and threaded his fingers through mine. “Every second that I’ve spent away from you has been torture. I’ve missed you so much, and the only thing that has kept me from showing up on your doorstep, begging you to give me another chance, was I thought I’d done the right thing. I thought you’d be safer without me.”
He sighed heavily, and his hand tightened around mine. “Now, I’m going to leave the choice up to you like I should have all along. If you want me to stay, I’ll never leave your side again. If you want me to go, you won’t have to see me anymore, but I’ll still be watching. I’ll still be protecting you from the shadows because I can’t stop myself. You can live your life in peace without me, but I know I’ll never love anyone the way I love you. I’ll spend the rest of my long life honoring you and the memories we made.” Alexander leaned over and kissed my knuckles softly. “But the choice is yours. I’ll do whatever you say.”
My hands were shaking so hard as I squeezed him back, my heart beating wild in my chest. “You love me?” I asked, my voice squeaking.
He smiled, and it was so beautiful, it lightened some of the heaviness weighing down my heart. “I’ve loved you since the first time you called me an asshole.”
I laughed, the sound watery with the tears that were still trickling out of my eyes. “That’s a strange reason to fall in love with someone.”
His smile widened even more as he inched closer to me. “It’s rare someone so beautiful calls me out so eloquently.”
I giggled again, that weight even lighter. But there was still so much wrong between us. A few pretty words couldn’t fix all the damage just like that. My smile slowly faded. “What about the other night? After I got home from going out with my friends.”
His jaw tightened as he looked away again. “I have to apologize for that too.” He sighed and rested his chin on our conjoined hands. “When I saw you walking arm in arm with not only one man, but two, it incensed me.”
“They’re gay, Alexander. And they’re just my friends.”
“I know that now. Adrienne… enlightened me. But that doesn’t matter. I still shouldn’t have done what I did. I shouldn’t have touched you like that. I shouldn’t have… drank from you.”
I was thankful for the bruises covering my face so he couldn’t tell how red it was. I looked down at the thin hospital blanket on my chest. “You didn’t do anything I didn’t ask for.” Because I was a stupid woman who couldn’t control herself around this man.
He grasped my chin as light as a feather and tipped my face up. “It doesn’t matter that you… enjoyed yourself.” He paused for a minute, his eyes burning with a light I knew all too well. I felt my body react to him, despite how broken it was. “I still should have had more control than that.”
“The worst part was when you left,” I said softly, afraid to voice my feelings too loud.
He sighed and dipped his head. “Please understand that I was convinced I was the greatest threat to your life. But as I felt your warm, responsive body beneath me, and tasted your mouthwatering blood, I wanted more. So much more. I wanted everything from you, but I knew that would be even worse than what I’d already done. If I hadn’t left you as quickly as I had, I wouldn’t have been able to stop myself from carrying you upstairs and finishing what we started, and I knew I couldn’t do that. So, I ran.”
He looked deep into my eyes and I read his sincerity there for myself. But I also noticed something I hadn’t before.
I reached over with my free hand and touched the dark bags under his eyes. He closed them and sighed, like my touch soothed him. I retracted my hand before I could read into his reaction too far. “What happened to you?”
He opened his eyes and grinned at me, his smile lopsided. “You’re the one in the hospital bed, and you’re worried about me?”
I just shrugged.
“I’ve been up for most of the day. That takes a toll.”
“What does that mean? I thought you had to sleep during the daylight hours.”
“When you’re as old as I am, you can choose to push yourself to stay awake.”
“But why would you do that?”
“I didn’t. I was woken up.”
“I didn’t even know that was possible,” I admitted.
His smile turned bleak, his eyes haunted. “It was you who woke me up. I felt every moment of your attack.”
“The blood claim?”
He nodded. “It must be. It was so real, it was like my own pain, my own fear. But then it all just vanished, and I had no idea what had happened to you. I didn’t know where you were, I didn’t know how to find you. I didn’t even know if you were still alive.” His voice broke at the end and he looked away, his jaw so tight it was twitching.
I didn’t want to talk about my latest brush with death. And I didn’t want to see that look on his face anymore.
“How did I get here? Who found me?”
He breathed slowly through his nose before turning back to me. “Ashton found you.”
I frowned. “But I fired him days ago.”
His eyes narrowed at me. “Yes. I’m aware. Why would you do that?”
I shrugged and looked away, not willing to let him read my face as I told the truth. “I was cutting ties.”
I didn’t need to elaborate. He knew exactly who I was cutting ties with, and I’m sure he could guess why.
“I’m sorry,” he said, his voice so deep with some emotion it cut right through me.
I cupped his whiskered jaw. “It’s okay. It’s over now.”
He shook his head. “Don’t forgive me that easily.”
Had I forgiven him? I certainly wasn’t angry anymore. I was still sad, but it was almost like leftover sadness. Like it just hadn’t had time to air out of my system yet.
“How did Ashton know where to look for me?” I asked, changing the subject to something that would hopefully get that look out of his eyes.
“He and a few other men spent hours canvassing the area near your building.”
“But why would they do that? How did they know I was in trouble?”
“I called him. The moment I realized I was feeling your attack, I contacted him.”
I should have known.
“So, you saved my life again?” I asked softly, my voice filled with the wonder I couldn’t conceal.
He shrugged. “Ashton was the one who found you. I was stuck in the back of some bar, waiting until the sun set.”
“But he only went looking for me because of you.”
He shrugged again, and I knew he wasn’t going to accept my thanks, but I was going to give it to him anyway.
“Thank you, Alexander. What are we up to now? Six?”
He shook his head, but his lips twitched with a smile. “I stopped keeping count.”
“I haven’t.”
He turned to look at me again, his face filled with an emotion I couldn’t name. His eyes traced over my face as they hardened. “Will you let me heal you? I can’t stand to see you like this and I’m sure you have to be in pain.”
I winced as I realized the meds had completely worn off. It was so easy to get caught up in Alexander and forget everything else. I opened my mouth to tell him yes, but I stopped myself at the last second.
I realized there was something I wanted more than his healing blood. Something I’d been thinking a lot about but hadn’t voiced for fear of the repercussions. But, in light of my most recent near-death experience, I realized there was no time to wait.
I took a fortifying breath, preparing myself for the same rejection I’d received last time. “I want you to change me.”
Chapter 12
Alexander
“What?” I asked slowly, positive I’d misunderstood.
“I want you to change me.”
Nope. I’d heard her right.
This crazy woman actually wanted to be a vampire.
“Why would you want that?” I asked, honestly perplexed.
I�
��d been a vampire for over five hundred years, and if someone offered me my humanity back, I’d take it in a heartbeat.
Her brows furrowed over her swollen eyes and I could tell she was ramping up. “Why would I want to be more durable? Why would I want to be stronger? Faster? Why would I want to be nearly invincible? Look around, Alexander. Look at where I am again.”
I shook my head. “That isn’t the answer.”
“Then what is?” she yelled.
“We can leave the city,” I suggested, grasping at straws. “We can go somewhere less populated where you’re much less likely to run into trouble from humans or vampires.”
“So, I should run away?”
“You should do anything it takes to stay alive.”
“That’s what I’m trying to do!”
“No, you’re trying to give up your humanity. You’re too young to know what kind of a sacrifice that is.”
Her eyes narrowed even further. “Are you saying I’m not old enough to know what I want to do with my own damn life?”
“I’m saying you’re not old enough to understand the consequences of a decision like this! You haven’t had enough human experiences to know what you’d be missing out on. Things like a career, a husband, a house in the suburbs, children. Are you ready to give all that up?”
“I can still have most of those things! I’ll just be a vampire! What’s the difference?”
“Once you become a vampire, you won’t be able to carry a child. Most of your human functions will cease besides the bare necessities. Are you ready to give up the opportunity to bear children?”
A single tear slid down her face, but it was still hard with anger. “I can’t have fucking children anyway, so what does it matter?”
My entire body deflated, the air in my lungs escaping with a whoosh. “What are you talking about?”
“I’m talking about the fact that I had a hysterectomy when I was eighteen. Do you think now I know enough to make a decision about my own damn life?”
I searched her face, hoping for more details, but she was locked up tight. “Charlotte, I–”
“Just shut up, Alexander.”
I took a calming breath, knowing that yelling would get me nowhere. “I don’t want to be the one responsible for ending your human life. Not when you’ve barely had a chance to live it.”
She pressed her scabbed lips together and looked away. “Well, you’re not the only vampire I know.”
Panic swamped me as I realized it didn’t matter what I said because she had options. She could just as easily ask Adrienne or even Nicholas to change her, and I’d have no say in the matter. The thought of one of them siring her instead of me was like an icy cold bucket of water dumped on my head.
I opened my mouth to speak when the door creaked open and a nurse walked in. Thankfully, she was a vampire.
“Can you disconnect her from everything? I’m going to heal her myself.”
“No, I don’t want to be healed. I want to be changed!”
The nurse’s eyes widened as they darted between us.
I tried to rein in my temper, but it wasn’t easy. “I’m not Changing you in a fucking hospital room.”
“Why the hell not?” she yelled even louder. “You just want to find an excuse to say no. I knew you were going to fucking do this. I never should have asked.” She tugged the oxygen tube from her nose and sat up straighter, looking at the horrified nurse. “Can you please take this shit off me? I want to leave.”
She looked between the two of us again before walking to Charlotte’s side. “If he isn’t going to heal you, you’ll need to keep the IV in.”
“I’m going to heal her.”
“The hell you are.”
“Charlotte, be reasonable.”
“I’m sick of being reasonable!” she screamed, her fiery eyes piercing me from behind the nurse. “You don’t want the responsibility of changing me? Fine. Then I’ll ask Adrienne.”
“No, you won’t.”
“Yes, the hell I will!”
I turned to the nurse. “Can you give us a moment?”
“No, take this shit out first!”
“Please,” I implored the nurse.
She looked like she wanted to be anywhere but in the middle of this fight, and I really couldn’t blame her. She glanced at the machines around Charlotte’s bed and nodded. “I’ll be back to disconnect you in a few minutes,” she said before scurrying from the room.
The silence she left behind was deafening. There was so much to say, I didn’t know where to even start.
“Why didn’t you ever tell me you had a hysterectomy?” I’d seen the scar, of course, but hadn’t ever asked. When her clothes were off, I was usually preoccupied, but I cursed myself for not being more curious sooner.
She scoffed. “I didn’t tell you I broke my leg in elementary school either. Would you like a list of all my past injuries? It’ll take a while, but if you’ve got the time, I’ll tell you.”
I shook my head. “A hysterectomy is a little different from a broken leg.”
“Yeah, well, they were both my father’s fault, so what’s the difference?”
The rage came on so powerful and so fast I almost couldn’t contain it. My hands gripped the arms of the chair until I heard the thin metal groan. “How did your father cause you to need a hysterectomy?”
“He caught me trying to sneak out and stabbed me in the stomach. I think he meant to kill me, but all it did was rupture my uterus. There was too much damage, and it had to be removed.”
She said the words like she’d said them a hundred times before. Like she was just reading from a script. There were no emotions attached to them. Like she wasn’t actually describing one of the most horrific things I’d ever heard.
“Charlotte, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know.”
“Well, now you do. Does that mean I can be a vampire? Or is there some other kind of test I need to pass?”
I shook my head, the pain building behind my temples. “Can we just go home and discuss this?”
“No. I want you to make me into a vampire right now. I don’t want to spend another day like this.”
“Charlotte, I can’t change you in a goddamn hospital room! The process isn’t quick or painless! And you’ll be asleep for three days! Do you think we could get somewhere a bit more fucking private before you start making demands?”
She watched me carefully, her lips pursed. “You’re going to try to change my mind.”
“You’re damn right I am.”
She clenched her hands into fists. “Then I’ll call Adrienne. She’ll do it. She owes me.”
“No, you fucking won’t.”
“You don’t get a say! This is my life and I’ll do what I want.”
“We’ll discuss this later,” I said as I heard the nurse’s squeaking shoes coming closer.
“No. I’m done talking,” she said as the nurse entered, wide, fearful eyes first.
We were quiet as the nurse worked to remove the IV and different monitors from her. When she was done, she turned to me. “You’re going to heal her, right?”
“Yes, I’ll take care of it. Thank you.”
She nodded, and with one more glance at Charlotte, she hurried out of the room. A part of me wished I could follow.
“I’m not changing my mind,” Charlotte said, a stubborn tilt to her bruised chin.
“I’m not surprised,” I said, standing from the chair to have a seat on her bed.
I heard her heart beat harder and my own answer back. It had been days since we’d been this close, but it felt like years. I wanted to take a minute to really study her, to refamiliarize myself with all her little details, but I couldn’t stand to see her like this.
I scooted closer, her peach scent barely noticeable beneath the stench of disinfectant. “Will you let me heal you?”
“Will you make me a vampire?”
I closed my eyes for a second, searching for the patience I was quickly runnin
g out of. “I told you, we can discuss it later.”
“I want to discuss it now.”
“Listen, it’s not as easy as me just changing you however and whenever I want. There’s a process. There’s paperwork. I can’t just fucking drain you and fill you right now because you want me to.”
She was quiet for a minute. “Then let’s start the process. Tonight.”
“It’s almost dawn.”
She grit her teeth and spoke through them. “Then tomorrow night.”
I sighed. “If that’s what you really want–”
“It is,” she interrupted.
I sighed again. “Okay, we’ll start the process tomorrow night.” What I didn’t say was I was going to do everything in my power before then to change her mind. I brought my wrist to my mouth and bit, puncturing my skin deeply enough that the blood started to run down my arm. I held it out to her. “Please. Drink.”
She watched me for a long minute before pulling my arm closer to her. She studied the crimson blood slowly trickling from the bite wounds before bringing my wrist to her mouth. Her pink tongue darted out to lap at my blood and my dick was immediately rock hard.
I clenched my other fist as she licked the spilled blood from my arm, the sensation driving me fucking crazy. A groan spilled from my lips before I could stop it. “Charlotte. I need you to just drink from me. Please.”
She pulled back and frowned. “Am I doing it wrong?”
I shook my head, teeth clenched together. “No, but if you don’t stop, I’m going to fuck you right here in this hospital bed and you’re not well enough for that. So, please. Just drink and let’s get out of here.”
Her lips tilted into a small grin before she placed them on my wrist again and sucked hard.
I wasn’t prepared for the onslaught of emotions.
I couldn’t remember the last time someone had drank from me. It was probably the night I was changed, but I was positive it was nothing like this.
Charlotte’s warm mouth on my cold skin heated me to my fucking core. It was like her gentle sucks were directly wired to my cock. It ached and strained against my pants as I silently begged her to hurry up.
I wasn’t kidding when I threatened to fuck her in this bed. One hundred ways I could take her flashed through my mind, each one more lewd than the last. I’d have her dripping down her thighs in seconds. Screaming my name in minutes. I’d–
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