She finally pulled her mouth off my arm and sat back, wiping at her bloody lips. Her eyes were already back to normal and most of the bruises had faded from her face. “Do you think that was enough?” she asked.
I cleared my throat and adjusted my hard dick. “Yes. Let’s go.” I grabbed her hand and carefully helped her from the bed. Just because she looked better on the outside didn’t mean she was completely healed on the inside. “Wait, let me get a wheelchair for you first.”
She snorted. “I can walk fine. My ribs don’t even hurt anymore.” She was quiet as she fingered the thin hospital gown. “Thanks for that,” she said softly. “I feel much better.”
I grasped her chin and tilted her face to me. Her bright blue eyes were visible again, and I was lost in them almost immediately. I wanted to kiss her so bad in that moment, her plump, pink lips so inviting I had to physically restrain myself. Finally, I focused on her eyes again and said, “Of course.”
We stood like that for another long moment before I was finally able to pry my fingers from her face. I let go and took a step back. “Why don’t you get dressed and I’ll wait for you in the hall.”
She dipped her head. “Okay. I’ll be right out.”
I left the room quickly, glad to be away from the awkward tension between us. There were still so many unresolved issues, I didn’t even know where to start. And just because I’d apologized, and she’d seemed to accept it, didn’t mean I’d erased all the damage I’d done.
I knew I’d hurt her. I knew it by the look in her eyes when she was staring at me. They were guarded now when they’d never been in the past. Like she was afraid to show too much to me. Afraid to feel too much. And how could I blame her?
That didn’t stop the sting when I thought about how I’d laid my heart bare and she hadn’t reciprocated. It’s not like I’d told her I loved her just so I’d hear it back, but it would have been nice.
But now I wished I hadn’t said it. Not because it wasn’t true. I knew to the depth of my being that I was in love with her. She was without a doubt the best thing that had ever happened to me, and if I got to call her mine someday, I would be a lucky fucking man.
But it was clear she hadn’t been ready for the sentiment. She’d been surprised to hear the words from me and even questioned their legitimacy. If she’d felt the same way, surely she would have said them back. If she felt even half as strongly as I felt for her, she’d have had no choice but to tell me she loved me too.
But she hadn’t.
That was a bitter and jagged pill to swallow, but I deserved nothing less.
Now, I had two choices.
I could pretend I’d never said the words. Let them drift into the space between us where they’d eventually lose all their power and be forgotten for good. Then we could start over. We could get to that place together. If we ever did.
Or I could fight for her affection. I could make her love me back. I could love her so hard she’d have no choice but to return my feelings. It would take a lot of work, but there’d never been a more worthwhile cause in my life.
One option gave me an easy out. The coward’s way. While the other would be a hard road that might not ever lead where I wanted it to. Was I strong enough to take the difficult path?
The door opened behind me, and Charlotte stepped out, her face even clearer than the last time I saw her. She looked up at me with a tentative smile that went straight to my chest, filling it with a warmth that could only come from Charlotte. In that instant, I made up my mind.
I was going to fight.
Chapter 13
Charlotte
“What are we doing here?” I asked, the dread leaking into my voice.
Alexander slowed his SUV to a stop in front of my latest apartment building, and it was like some sort of sick déjà vu.
Was he trying to get rid of me again?
Part of me wasn’t surprised. After the fight we’d had in the hospital, I didn’t have to wonder why he’d want to leave me on the side of the road again. I’d almost expected it.
But another small piece of me held onto those sweet words he’d uttered in the hospital. He’d said he loved me, and, in the moment, I’d believed him. The truth had been clear in his indigo eyes, and I’d fallen even harder than I’d already fallen for him.
But here we were, at the exact same place he’d cut ties with me last time. The exact same placed he’d broken my heart.
Why was I stupid enough to fall for this again?
The anger built in my system, crowding out the sadness until there were only crumbs left. I turned to him, ready to tell him exactly what I thought about him, when he switched the ignition off and pocketed the keys.
“This is closer than my penthouse. I’m not sure I could make it there in time.”
Oh.
The ire fizzled out of my system almost as fast as it had come. But suspicion still remained.
He climbed out of the SUV, moving slower than usual. I tried to exit the vehicle myself, but he made it to my side before I could and helped me down. His hand lingered on mine for a moment before he took it back.
Despite my reservations and the hard exterior I was trying to keep up, I missed the connection instantly.
He motioned for me to precede him, and I walked cautiously into the building. “You know, there aren’t any light-proof rooms in my apartment,” I said quietly. “I mean, I guess you could sleep in the bathtub if you want.”
He grinned. “I have something else in mind.”
He ushered me into the elevator and hit the button for the second floor.
“I’m on the third floor.”
Shouldn’t he know this? He’d put me there, after all.
“We’re going to my place.”
I whipped my head in his direction as the doors opened and he led me out of the elevator. “What do you mean, your place?”
He stopped in front of the door labeled 2B and opened it with a key from his pocket. “I rented the apartment beneath you.”
I followed him into an apartment identical to mine, my head a mess of thoughts I was having trouble untangling. He tossed his keys onto the kitchen counter and walked farther into the empty apartment. It sure as hell didn’t look like he’d been living here.
“Alexander, can you explain what’s going on, please?” I said, my feet firmly planted in the kitchen.
He turned back to me with a sigh, his eyes open but his face guarded. Like he didn’t know how I’d react to what he had to say next. “I only chose this building for you because it had both apartments available and I wanted to be close.”
My heart was beating so hard it was becoming uncomfortable. “So, what does that mean? Why would you rent the apartment below me?” None of this was making sense.
He watched me silently for a moment before speaking again. “I may have sent you away, but I never left you.”
My pulse was pounding in my ears as I struggled to hear his soft words.
“I’ve spent every night here since you moved in, listening to you upstairs and watching over you from down here.”
“Why would you do that?” I whispered, afraid to speak too loudly and break the moment between us.
He shrugged. “I couldn’t stay away.”
I was struggling to understand. To take what I thought I knew and look at it again with this new information. His words in the hospital room floated through my head again.
I know I’ll never love anyone the way I love you.
Maybe he’d really meant it.
My poor heart had been through so much in the past few weeks and its thumping was becoming brittle as I tried to figure out what to do next.
There was still so much wrong between us. I didn’t even know where we stood.
“I have to get into the bedroom soon,” he said, his words slower than they were before. “Once I’m in there, the door can’t be opened again like at my penthouse. I haven’t made this whole apartment light-proof yet.”
&n
bsp; I nodded, not knowing where he was going with this.
“You can come with me if you want, or you can stay out here. Or you can even go back upstairs to your place. I’d prefer if you were close by, but the choice is up to you.”
I’d thought I was sick of not having a choice, but now faced with this one, I realized I didn’t want it.
Because if I stayed out there, I’d be alone all day with nothing but my own thoughts to keep me company. And after the last twenty-four hours, I really didn’t want to be by myself.
But what would it mean if I went with him? If I spent the day next to Alexander. What would that do to the tenuous truce we had between us?
“I’m sorry to rush you, but I can feel the sun rising. Whatever you decide, you have to do it quickly and you can’t change your mind.”
I looked down at my dirty sneakers, trying to figure out what I really wanted.
But no. I knew what I wanted.
What this came down to was what I could live through.
Could I open myself back up to Alexander? Let him in and knock down all my walls for him again? Could I spend the day in his arms knowing that if he dropped me once, he could do it again? Was I strong enough for that?
“If it makes any difference, I’d prefer to have you as close as possible,” he said, his voice so low I barely heard him.
I looked up into his sincere eyes and made my decision in an instant. “I want to come with you.”
A smile spread across his sleepy face as he held out a hand for me. I took it without hesitation and let him lead me into the pitch-black bedroom. Before he closed the door, I noticed he’d nailed plywood on top of the windows and sealed the edges with something.
He let go of my hand once we were locked in the room and walked around the other side of the bed. I watched him kick off his boots and shrug out of his t-shirt before climbing onto the bed. He lay there, watching me through half-lidded eyes. “Are you coming?”
Like it was that simple.
Like this was two weeks ago, and crawling into his arms was natural for me.
I stood there, indecision running rampant through my body.
Maybe I should leave while I still could. Maybe I’d go back up to my apartment and wait until the sun set. Maybe it was a bad idea coming in here.
But the thought of letting this empty feeling inside me fester all day made my insides twist painfully. I was so sick of being alone. So sick of being lonely.
But was I brave enough?
Reckless enough?
Alexander opened his arms wide and my heart lurched toward him. “Come here.”
And that was all it took.
I toed my sneakers off and kicked them aside before crawling onto the bed. I stopped a few inches away from him, but he wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me closer. He dug his face into my hair and breathed deeply.
“I missed you so much,” he mumbled.
My poor heart ached so bad, I reached up to rub my chest. “I missed you too,” I whispered.
I waited for him to say something else, but there was nothing. Leaning away, I noticed his eyes were closed and his face was slack with sleep. The sun must have risen then, and he’d be out for hours.
I settled back down in his arms and closed my eyes. I let myself believe things would be okay between us. That I’d made the right decision. That he wouldn’t hurt me again like he did before.
I just hoped I was right.
***
I woke to his lips on my forehead and his arms tight around me. “Good evening,” he said, his voice rough.
I searched deep inside for the hesitation and indecision I’d fought with yesterday, but it was just a shadow in the back of my mind. Still there, but transparent and fading fast.
I smiled as he kissed my head again. “Hi.”
He breathed deeply and sighed. “You smell like you again.”
“What did I smell like before?”
“Disinfectant.”
I giggled. “I’ll have to return that Lysol shampoo then.”
He shook his head, his lips smiling against my temple.
The next question tumbled from my mouth before I could stop it. Before I could even think it through. Before I could decide if it was even okay to go there yet.
“Are you hungry?”
Alexander froze beside me, and I mentally kicked myself.
It was so natural to me. For weeks I lived with him and every day when he woke up, he’d feed. It just felt right to ask, despite our current situation.
“I’m… okay.”
I could tell that wasn’t the truth. “When’s the last time you ate?”
He took a long moment to answer. “With you.”
“And the time before that?”
He took even longer this time. “Also, with you.”
“So, you’ve only fed twice in like two weeks?”
He shrugged beneath me. “I don’t need much anymore.”
An image of his face in the hospital room last night floated through my mind, making my insides twist uncomfortably. He’d looked so haggard, and it was all because the blood claim between us had woken him up too early. Because of me.
“Why haven’t you fed from anyone else in the meantime?” I asked, the words scraping my throat on their way out.
I couldn’t stand the thought of him with someone else, but that wasn’t realistic. He was a vampire, and needed blood to live, which meant he needed to feed from humans. If I wasn’t around, if we weren’t… together anymore, he’d have to feed from somebody.
Even if the thought sent rage burning through my veins.
“I just couldn’t,” he admitted, his voice soft. “I couldn’t bear to do… that with someone else.”
“Well, you don’t have to sleep with everyone you feed from, right?” I asked, hoping for the confirmation that would ease my own mind.
“Of course not. But I don’t want anyone else.”
I closed my eyes and sighed. What a fucking mess we were in.
“Alexander, what would you have done? Starved yourself?”
He shrugged. “I don’t know,” he mumbled.
I gathered my hair and tucked it behind my head. “Here,” I said, tilting my neck toward him. It was still pitch-black in the room, but I knew he’d be able to see what I was offering. “Drink.”
He froze again, every single one of his muscles taut next to me. “No, it’s okay.”
“You must be hungry. Just drink.”
“I’m fine,” he said through gritted teeth.
“Stop being stubborn and drink!”
In the next instant, I was flipped on my back, a heavy weight settling on top of me. I felt him lean closer, his cool breath on my face. “You know what will happen if I drink from you, Charlotte. You know I won’t be able to help myself. You know that I’ll take you the first chance I get. So, why are you tempting me?”
My heart felt like it would hammer right through my ribcage. My breaths were just ragged pants now as I fought for air. I squeezed my thighs together, hoping he couldn’t tell how aroused I was already, but my hopes weren’t high for that.
“Is that what you want?” he whispered against my jaw. “For me to lose control? For me to bury my cock deep inside you? For me to make you come like you know only I can?”
Damn it, I hated when he saw right through me like that. Not that I was doing a good job of hiding how badly I wanted him. I’d never been able to do that.
“If I drink from you, I’m going to fuck you,” he warned, his mouth on my neck. “It’s been too long since I’ve felt your tight little body wrapped around my cock.” He placed his hands on my hips and squeezed. “If that’s not what you want, you need to tell me now.”
I knew exactly what I wanted.
Every single inch of my body was screaming for Alexander. To relieve the ache between my legs that only he caused.
But it was the ache still in my chest that gave me pause.
Was I ready
to open myself back up to him? Was the reward worth the risk I’d be taking?
But the better question was, did I even have a choice at this point?
This man drove me to incredible heights I’d never experienced before. But was that worth the lows he’d brought me?
He made me feel so much, and when he removed himself from my life that night, it had torn something from me. I’d given him a corner of my heart and he’d taken it with him.
Now, I could share with him another piece, or I could save myself while I still could.
I tilted my head back and closed my eyes, letting myself really feel what he did to me both inside and out. When I opened my eyes again, I said “That’s what I want.”
He growled softly, his hands tightening on my hips. “Are you sure?”
The anticipation was zipping through my veins as I willed his hands to move from my hips. To touch me. To feel me falling apart beneath him. I’d never needed anything more than I needed him in that moment. “Yes,” I whispered.
We were suspended in that moment for the longest time before he finally moved. His fangs sunk into my neck as he dragged me closer.
He was already engorged and pressing hard against me. I shivered in his arms as he drank from my neck, his hands busy undressing me. When I was naked beneath him, he pulled his mouth off my throat and kissed his way down to my breast.
“Are you wet for me?” he growled as his hand slid down my stomach to trace along my slit. He pushed two fingers inside me and groaned. “You are,” he mumbled against my breast.
He bit my nipple before sucking hard and I arched off the bed. “I don’t think I’ll be able to last too long tonight,” he whispered against my wet breast. “It’s been too long since I’ve had you.”
“I don’t care,” I moaned as his fingers pumped faster in and out of me.
I didn’t know when he’d lost his clothing, but suddenly, he was between my legs, his hard dick in his hand. “I want to take my time with you,” he said as he nudged past my folds. “To reacquaint myself with every delicious inch of your body. But I can’t do that right now.” He pressed the tip inside me, and my breath caught in my lungs. “This is going to be hard and fast, and I’m going to make you come twice before I’m done.”
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