Damn it, I was already close. He’d have no problem keeping his promise.
“Okay.” I nodded. “Just do it. I need you.”
He sank into me without another word, his girth stretching me so luxuriously as he bottomed out. Alexander stayed like that for a moment, his breathing just as fast as mine. Without warning, he pulled almost all the way out and slammed back into me, triggering the first of the two orgasms he’d promised.
“That’s one,” he grunted as he picked up the pace, his hips pushing him in and out of me at breakneck speed.
I dug my nails into his arms and held on as I felt another orgasm building steam deep inside me.
“Fuck, you’re dripping,” he groaned as his hands wrapped around my waist and he flipped us over. “Fuck me, now.”
I closed my eyes as a chill ran down my spine. I rotated my hips, listening to the appreciative noises he made. Slowly at first, but with his guiding hands, I quickly picked up speed until I was bouncing on his lap.
“Yes, love. Fuck me. Harder,” he said between gritted teeth.
I grabbed his arms again as my orgasm washed over me, catching me off guard and overwhelming me with its intensity. Alexander roared beneath me as he found his own pleasure deep inside me. We stayed just like that for a long time, our quick breaths in sync as we slowly returned to earth.
Alexander pulled me off him and laid me on his chest. His thick fingers buried themselves in my hair as I listened to his frantic heart thumping beneath my cheek.
The words I’d withheld from him in the hospital crawled to the tip of my tongue, begging to be released. To be spoken aloud. To break free for good.
“Charlotte, I…”
I froze. I think even my heart stopped as I waited for him to finish his sentence, knowing what came next. Knowing he was going to tell me he loved me again, and this time, I was really going to believe him. This time, I was going to say it back.
“I… missed you,” he finished.
I swallowed the words I’d been tempted to say and tried to relax on his chest again. I worked to convince myself this meant nothing, but even I didn’t believe that.
Chapter 14
Alexander
“So, how do we start the process?”
I dragged my eyelids open to stare at the top of her head. How the fuck she was making coherent sentences was a mystery to me.
I don’t know if I’ve ever come harder than I just did with her riding my dick like that. She was like a goddamn pro. I was getting hard just thinking about sitting her on my lap again.
“Alexander?”
I barely held back the groan. “Yes, love.”
“The process. How do we start it?” She lifted her head, her blue eyes so bright even in the black room.
I wished we could have stayed in that silent bliss for a little longer. That place where everything made sense between us again. There were no mistakes to overcome, or fuck-ups to apologize for. There was just her and me and the incredible way she made me feel.
“Alexander.”
I sighed. “I haven’t ever done this myself, so I only know the basics.”
“Okay, what are the basics?”
Another sigh. “Well, first you have to attend orientation.”
“For what?”
“They want to make sure you know what you’re getting into. That you understand what it will mean to forfeit your humanity and become a vampire. They also want to impress upon those who want to be changed the importance of secrecy.”
“Okay, can we sign me up for that?”
A thought struck me, and I smiled wide in the dark room, knowing she couldn’t see me. “Actually, I believe orientation is usually in the fall. I guess we’ll have to wait.” Which meant I’d have even more time to convince her to not go through with this.
She was quiet for a minute before speaking up again. “You don’t think they’d make an exception for me? I can’t wait until the fall. I need to do this now.”
“You really don’t,” I said, brushing some hair off her face. “I told you, we can leave the city. I can keep you safe. I’ll take you anywhere you want to go.”
“Alexander.” She said my name like a warning, and I sighed once more.
“I just want to make sure you know you have options. I can keep you safe. There’s no rush.”
She climbed off my chest with a huff, and I already missed the feel of her soft skin against mine. “No. I told you, I want to do this now.”
“But you don’t have to make a decision like this just because you’re scared. One day you won’t be scared anymore, but you’ll still be a vampire. You can’t take this back.”
“I’m not an idiot, Alexander. I know what I’m asking for.”
“I don’t think you really do.”
She stopped searching for her clothes and whipped around to face me, her hands landing on her bare hips. “Are you trying to call me stupid, Alexander? You know how that went for you the last time you tried that shit.”
I did remember. And I wasn’t in a hurry to make the same mistake.
I crawled to the edge of the bed and sat down, pulling her between my legs. “You are one of the smartest people I’ve ever met. I just think you’re making a permanent decision based on a temporary fear. What happened the other day with the human was a fluke. I’ll make sure nothing like that ever happens again.”
She placed her hands on my shoulders and pushed me away as she took a step back. “I made this decision before that jerk assaulted me. And fear isn’t a temporary thing in my life. It’s been my constant companion since I was old enough to know how to be afraid. Don’t try to tell me what I want or how I feel. I know what I’m doing.”
I let out a deep breath and tilted my face toward the ceiling. Searching through the excuses available to me, I found the one I thought would work the best. “Well, like I said, orientation is in the fall, so you’ll have to wait until then.”
Her expression fell. “Can’t you call someone? There has to be a way they can make an exception. This is an emergency.”
“It’s not an emergency.”
She turned around and stomped over to the light switch, turning it on with a slap of her palm. “Damn it, Alexander! Yes, it is! I’m sick of winding up in the fucking hospital. I want to become a vampire so I can defend myself for once. Pick up your damn phone and make a call. There has to be someone in that big building of vampires that can help me.”
I growled softly, realizing I was slowly but surely losing this battle. “Fine,” I said between gritted teeth. “I’ll see what I can do.”
She crossed her arms over her chest, making her breasts rise and distracting me. “Now.”
“Fine,” I said again, louder this time.
I stood up and pulled my phone out of my pocket. Scrolling through my contacts, I found someone I thought might know something about this and dialed.
She answered on the first ring. “Alexander! I’ve missed you.”
I glanced at Charlotte quickly to make sure she hadn’t heard the greeting I’d just received, but by the strained look on her face, I knew she had.
“Hey, Tabitha. How are you?”
“I’d be better if you came over later. I can order us a set of humans and we can have some fun with them like we used to.”
I cleared my throat as Charlotte’s eyes narrowed and her face turned red. “Sorry, that’s not why I called.”
“Oh, boo,” she said. “Fine, what’s up?”
I breathed a sigh of relief that she’d dropped the subject so quickly. “I was wondering if you knew anything about human orientations. Don’t they only happen in the fall?”
She was quiet for a while before answering slowly. “Why? Are you thinking of changing someone?”
“I might be.”
“Is it a girlfriend?” she asked, her voice incredulous.
I glanced at Charlotte again to find her eyes riveted on me. I cleared my throat. “It might be.”
Was that what we were? That title didn’t seem to fit. A girlfriend implied a relationship while also hinting at a lack of permanence. Boyfriends and girlfriends broke up all the time, but I had no intention of ever leaving Charlotte’s side again.
I guessed girlfriend wasn’t the right term, but we’d go with it for now.
She tsked. “Sorry, I can’t help you.”
“But don’t you work in that department?”
“Yeah, I do, and you’re right. The orientation isn’t until the fall. You’ll just have to wait until then.”
I glanced at Charlotte to see she’d heard that too. And she didn’t look happy.
“Okay, Tab. Thanks for trying.”
“Whatever, Alexander,” she said before the line went dead.
I pulled my phone away from my ear and turned to Charlotte. “See? I told you.”
Her lips were pursed, hands in fists across her chest. “Do you think you could call someone you haven’t fucked?”
I winced. “Tabitha works in that department. She’d know best.”
“Call. Someone. Else,” she said slowly, her jaw clenched tight.
I sighed and tried again, scrolling through hundreds of years’ worth of phone numbers before settling on one that might work. I dialed the number and watched Charlotte as it rang.
“Winters.”
“Hey, Tom, it’s Alexander Hausle. How are you?”
“I’m busy. What do you want?”
I rolled my eyes. “I wanted to ask you about human orientations. I’ve been told they only happen in the fall. Is that right?”
“Yes. Every September. Why?”
“I have someone who wants to be changed now, but it looks like we’ll have to wait. Thanks for your help.”
I went to disconnect the call when his voice sounded through the speaker again. “There’s an emergency orientation beginning in a few days.”
My heart dropped as I glanced at Charlotte, hoping she hadn’t heard that. But just like before, it was clear she had, her big eyes full of excitement.
“Oh, there is?” I asked, not able to put even an ounce of enthusiasm into my question.
“Yeah, some vamp’s got a couple terminal patients that need to be changed asap. You could join their orientation.”
I glanced at Charlotte again to see her bobbing her head up and down. I sighed and asked, “Okay, how do I do that?”
“I can email you the paperwork and then you just need to show up with your human. The address and instructions will be in the email. Anything else you need?”
Yeah, I needed a new fucking excuse.
“No, that’s it. Thanks, Tom.”
He grunted and hung up the phone. I tossed it aside and chanced a look at Charlotte.
She was half dressed, her movements quick and frantic. “Do you think he’ll send the email right away? When do you think the orientation is? Is it in the city? How many other humans do you think will be there?”
My phone chimed with a notification and I picked it up, dread building in my gut. It was an email from Tom. I swallowed hard and held the phone up so Charlotte could see. “He already sent it.”
She clapped her hands, her face so bright and happy, but all it did was twist my insides.
This just meant she was one step closer to the end of her human life. One step closer to throwing away the sunlight and any kind of normalcy she might have had.
And I was one step away from helping her make the worst decision of her life.
***
“Did you want to watch another movie?” I asked quietly, my breath blowing golden strands of her hair about.
We’d returned to my penthouse, and it already felt like things were back to normal. I knew they really weren’t, but I’d take this false sense of security any day.
When she didn’t answer, I craned my neck to get a better look and found her eyes closed, mouth opened just a little. I smiled as a small snore fell from her lips.
I leaned back on the couch and pulled her even closer, needing to feel her in my arms after almost losing her again.
I’d had plenty of loss in my human life, but as a vampire, things had been different. I didn’t get attached to anyone or anything, so it didn’t matter if I lost them.
But it was different with Charlotte.
For the first time in half a millennia, I was actually afraid to lose someone. I knew if something happened to her, I’d never be the same again. I wouldn’t want to keep living in a world that didn’t have Charlotte in it.
So, then why was I fighting so hard to keep her human?
The answer was probably the most selfish one I could give.
It’s because I knew there was nothing I wanted more than to never have to let her go. If she was a vampire like me, I wouldn’t have to worry about her safety so much. She’d be free from the possibility of being glamoured, and she’d be free from the dangers other humans posed.
Most of all, I wouldn’t have to watch her age and die while I stayed virtually the same.
But I’d come to terms with her mortality a long time ago. I’d accepted that our time together would be limited. That we only had decades to spend with each other before I’d lose her forever.
At least I thought I had.
Now, this internal tug-of-war was threatening to tear me in two.
Because, greedy creature that I was, every time she insisted she wanted to be a vampire, a little thrill went through me.
And then every time she threatened to ask someone else to change her, the rage took over.
If there was any son of a bitch in this world that was going to drain her almost to the point of death and then bring her back to life, it was going to be me. There was no way I would trust anyone else with her like that.
If she really was going to become a vampire, it would be by my fangs only.
I must have squeezed her too tight as the emotions overwhelmed me because she stirred in my arms.
Charlotte yawned loudly and stretched like a cat as I watched, transfixed. She caught me staring and smiled, the sight so fucking beautiful it made my chest ache.
“Sorry I didn’t make it through the movie.”
I shrugged. “I’m used to finishing movies without you by now.”
She rolled her eyes and settled back into my arms. I pulled her close and let my lids fall shut, breathing her in, happy to live in this moment indefinitely.
“Why don’t you want me to be a vampire?” she asked softly.
I cracked an eye open and looked down to see her staring at me, her big blue eyes almost translucent. “I’ve told you why.”
She pursed her lips. “Not really. You just keep saying I’ll be missing out on human stuff. That can’t be the only reason.”
“Why not?”
She shrugged. “Because you know I can still do most of those human things even if I’m a vampire.”
“You won’t be able to sunbathe ever again.”
“I burn in the sun.”
“You won’t ever be able to watch another sunrise or sunset.”
She shrugged. “I think if you’ve seen a few hundred, you’ve seen them all.”
I pressed my lips together. “I know you can’t bear children, but you could still adopt or foster. You won’t be able to do that if you’re not a human.”
She stared at me long and hard, her eyes narrowed. “Is this just because you don’t want to change me? I told you, I’d ask Adrienne.”
Panic flooded my system as I again thought about her going over my head to another vampire and having them be her maker. It was absolutely unacceptable.
“No,” I growled.
She sighed and rolled her eyes. “So, you don’t want to change me, but you don’t want anyone else to change me either. How is that fair, Alexander?”
I lifted her up and placed her on my lap. Her chin jutted out in defiance as she stared me down, her hands already on her hips. I covered them with my own and squeezed her gently. “It’s not that I’m a
verse to being your maker.”
“I don’t believe that for a second. You just don’t want to be tied to me for the rest of your life. And I don’t want that if you don’t want that. Just say the word, Alexander, and I’m gone.”
I squeezed her tighter, believing every word she said. I knew she was strong enough to leave me, just like I knew I was too weak to lose her.
“Getting the chance to change you into a vampire, to lead you through the process and be there with you every step of the way would be one of the best things to happen to me in centuries.”
Her eyes softened as her shoulders slumped. “Then why are you so insistent on keeping me human? You’re really making me feel like you don’t want me around that long.”
I shook my head and dragged her closer, until we were chest to chest, our hearts thumping together. “Even if I got to spend the next five hundred years with you, it wouldn’t be long enough.”
Her pink lips curled with a smile, and I knew I’d said the right thing. The doubt and anxiousness in her eyes had all but disappeared. She was happy, and that made me happy.
But how long would that last if I was responsible for taking her humanity away from her? How much longer would she look at me like this if I ended her human life?
Those were the questions that plagued me.
And that was the reason I was going to continue to fight to keep her exactly the way she was.
Chapter 15
Alexander
“Is this it?”
I’d pulled up outside a windowless factory. It had a large sign near the peaked roof that read The Christ Exchange. The make-believe warehouse was supposed to manufacture Christian bits and bobs. Home décor and shit.
I turned my truck off. “Yeah. Parliament has a bit of a sense of humor sometimes.”
She laughed, but she was the only one.
The entire ride out to this building in the middle of nowhere Long Island, I’d been trying to come up with ways to delay her decision. I had an ace up my sleeve, but I was waiting for the right time to use that card. In the meantime, I could only hope what she learned at orientation had the power to at least chip at her resolve.
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