by J. C. Allen
I rolled my eyes and looked away, hoping he didn’t notice my blush. But I’d gotten what I needed out of this—a vote of approval from the voice most likely to slap me back down to reality.
“My confidence swells,” I said with a groan.
“I’m guessin’ that’s yer cock, boy. Ya must be thinkin’ bout her right now. An’, speakin’ o’ which, make sure ye’re washin’ yerself. Whores face dirty dicks too much to be getting’ stink-nutted by men who are supposed to be lovin’ them.”
I sneered at his words, but nodded. Roost—the master of stating the inappropriate but necessary.
“Noted.”
Matty nodded back, his face caught somewhere between pride and concern. He looked like he wanted to say something polite but was best evaluating how to say it.
“Gotta say, if she’s got yer attention this bad, she must be one hell of a woman.”
Damn right.
She really, really, really is special.
“She really is,” I admitted, unable to keep myself from smiling.
But… Roost had raised some points.
“Honestly, though. Do you think this is a bad idea? Really?”
Roost paused, thought, and then shrugged again. For someone who had yelled at me like I was a twelve year old interested in the wrong person, he sure seemed suddenly a lot more calm and open to the idea.
“Ye’re probably askin’ the wrong fag about what’s a good idea an’ what’s not. Honestly, I don’t believe in good ideas; in the world of ideas there’s shit and there’s decent. Most ideas are shit, plain an’ simple. Almost everything in life falls apart, breaks down, or decays—not much we can do ‘bout that—an’ most ideas function to slow or stop that. Can’t be done—makes ‘em shit ideas. Then there’s the decent ideas, the ones that say, ‘shit’s gonna go bad, so let’s try to make the most of it.’”
This was definitely not the philosophical side of him I expected to see.
“So ye’re gonna go for it? Cool! I mean, I guess I ain’t gonna stop ya—likely no one’d be able to, anyway—an’ ya seem to be figurin’ the worst already, right? If yer already expectin’ to hit rock bottom than it’s not like yer gonna be disappointed, right? An’ who knows? Maybe y’all will find exactly what ya need with each other. After all, if ya don’t hit rock bottom then all ya gots left is flying.”
I smiled at that and nodded, appreciating Matty’s side on this. He may have gone all philosopher on me, but it reflected much of my own thoughts anyways—and in that regard, I couldn’t be too mad. I knew the risks, I knew the rewards, and now I could never say “I wish I’d considered that” if things ever fell apart.
Which… they wouldn’t. I’d make sure of it.
“Thanks, Roost,” I said.
“Don’t mention it,” he said, waving off my words dismissively before turning to another stack of crates. “Now, come on. We got business ‘ta deal with and I actually need your ass here for once to do it.”
24
Eve
If I didn’t know that I only had a week left of this shit, I’m not sure I would have made it through the night.
The bruises on my body only got worse and the soreness only became more acute as the night wore on. Giving blowjobs, normally uncomfortable but tolerable, now became a literal pain in the ass, and actual sex produced some different kinds of moans that may have sounded pleasurable but were anything but.
And, of course, this said nothing about the mental anguish this put me through.
Every John that came down, I tried to imagine as Derek. But after about five seconds of this, I just felt guilty for “cheating” on Derek even though we weren’t anything but a potential future couple. That, and the idea of Derek buying me as a whore just didn’t make sense—he had said as much to me on our date.
At the end of the night, I’d given head five times and had sex just twice. I had not accumulated more than a few hundred dollars, a number that would disappoint Rock greatly. Still, it was cash—it was proof that I had shown up and offered my services.
I had to hope that the asshole who had nearly kicked me into unconsciousness did not peep. I knew I’d have to give him something later… but if later could happen more than a week out… or if he could wait to tell Rock about all this until more than a week out, then I could handle it.
I really hope you were telling the truth about this, Derek. I can’t last another week. I’ll fucking die if I have to.
Crystal kept checking on me, bless her soul, but she was not a doctor, and her weak attempts at humor did little to put me at ease. I just…
I just wanted Derek.
I didn’t want anyone else. I wanted him.
But I knew I wasn’t going to get him until tomorrow.
And so, as we wound down the night and caught the bus, I refused to sit down, trying to stretch my back out and free myself of the bruises that I had suffered. The worst, I feared, was that they would become permanent stains, and anyone who wanted to fuck me would forever see me as damaged goods. What if Derek…
Well, he wouldn’t. But if a John did in the next few days? And he told Rock, claiming I was damaged goods?
Game fucking over.
“How you feelin’, girl?” Crystal asked after about five minutes of silence on the bus.
Normally, I would at least acquiesce and give her some answer. I might give her a one-off answer or deflect her in the hopes she’d get the hint, but I’d usually answer.
But right now, I was in no mood. I was sick of being a whore, both in the job and in my mind. I was sick of getting beat up. I was sick of this fucking life.
I liked Crystal, but right now, she was a reminder that I was what she was. What neither of us wanted to be, but what we were.
“You a whore or not?”
For at least a few more days, yes, I was.
I just shook my head, took a deep breath, and looked down.
“Sorry,” Crystal said quietly.
At least she got the hint.
But when we got off the bus stop and we came to the front door of our apartment, I now had an entirely different reason for not saying a word.
Rock was waiting for us.
And I knew if I so much as spoke a word without permission, the bruises on my back weren’t the only thing I was going to get.
“One of your regular clients is a member of the goddamn Saviors,” he said, getting right to the point.
In a weird way, I was grateful for the bruises at that moment. I was in so much pain that I didn’t have to try really hard to hide the fact that that client was mine. I couldn’t smile, because the second I did, I would shift positions and the pain would come right back.
“But he’s speeding off before we can get him.”
Him. So… he knows it’s me? Or… is Crystal one of his clients too?
Oh God… couldn’t be possible. Right? Crystal would have said something? Maybe in the past? But then why would Rock be making note of it now.
“Both of you, unlock your phones. Now.”
I did not dare hesitate, lest I get hit. Thank God Derek doesn’t text, I thought as I handed my phone over. Crystal did the same.
Rock looked through a few different things on our phones before pushing a few things on the screen we couldn’t see. This was, naturally, a major invasion of privacy, but I laughed in my head at the notion of ever confronting Rock about it. It was my privacy or my life that was gone, I just had to pick one.
Then, without saying a word, he handed it back to us.
“Get out of my sight.”
He moved to the side, and we quickly scurried up to our room, not daring to say a word until our doors were shut. And even then, we locked the door and waited several seconds before speaking softly.
“What was that about?” I said.
“Don’t be so blind, girl,” she said. “He’s making sure he can track your phone at all times. That way, wherever you go, he knows it. So if he sees you leave the corner, he’s
going to know.”
I bit my lip. That… that was bad. I had brought my phone to the corner all the time before, not so much on Rock’s orders, but just to pass the time in a way that was permitted.
But it would look awfully suspicious if I stopped bringing my phone. It…
Fuck.
“If you gonna see that man again, you best leave your phone here,” Crystal warned. “I’ll bring it with me if you gonna be coming straight to the corner, but you really shouldn’t. You should be here with me and then go to the bus stop.”
“They’re gonna be watching us much more closely,” I said in horror.
“Understatement, girl.”
But something was gnawing at me I had to know.
“Do you have any regulars who are Saviors?”
Crystal arched an eyebrow before shaking her head rapidly.
“Not to my knowledge. And certainly none like the man you have,” she said. “Look, let’s just go to bed. We’ve both had a long night that just got made longer.”
My entire body just wanted to scream “no shit!” but to do so would require an exertion of energy, which I did not have. So I just nodded and laid down on my bed.
In doing so, however, I realized the bruises and kicks had left such pain that even lying on the sheets hurt for a few seconds.
When I woke up in the morning, I was so fucking sore that just rolling around in bed hurt like hell. My entire body just clenched up at the thought of moving.
But my eyes ran to something that, by some miracle, had not only not been taken by any of the Johns, but had not gotten yanked off me by Rock.
The necklace from Derek.
The best thing anyone has ever done for me.
I ran my hand across the bird pendant, letting my fingertips kiss the ruby beak, and enjoyed the peacefulness that swept over me any time I touched it. Though I would not have physical peacefulness for a few days—a rather nice timing, considering that was about when Derek would get me free—this at least gave me peace of mind that someone cared about me.
And that someone was a person I’d be seeing once more again today.
I wondered what he had planned for tonight and I smiled absently as I replayed the events of our last meeting.
“Earth to Eve!” Crystal clapped in my face to get my attention.
I blinked, startled, and looked up at her. I had fallen into my own zone so hard that I had forgotten I had to head out in just a few seconds.
“S-sorry,” I said, realizing I’d been spacing out. “What were you saying? Sorry, I—”
“Look, I think this romance is great and all—real storybook-like and all—but you are still working for Rock. I got to thinkin’ about last night, girl. He wasn’t talking to me, at least not to my actions. I’m not mad at you, but I am gonna spell it to you straight. At this rate, you’re going to wind up with your ass on the chopping block.”
“Isn’t that where it usually is in this job?” I said.
Crystal had a point, though. I’d shown up late. I’d consistently disappeared with the same client. I had disappeared from the fundraiser right when the man got killed. And I felt pretty sure they knew I was slipping out in the morning, even if technically that was “free” time—which just meant they could come get me at any time in that window if they had to.
Even if I had the cash to support me, I didn’t have the behavior to suggest I was getting it the completely normal means.
“Getting anally reamed a few times a night and takin’ a few backhands ain’t exactly the chopping. He will kill you, Eve.”
He will kill you.
It was said so simply and so bluntly that I couldn’t ignore it. I had to factor it in to how I behaved for just these next few days. I bit my lip at that and looked over at her.
“What… what do I do then? How do I make sure?”
“For now? I guess enjoy yourself, or at least fake it on the job.”
The words were said half-resigned, as if there was nothing I really could do—which was kind of true.
“You’ve only had one late absence, and though you got some shady ass behavior otherwise, you’ve got the green, so you’re fine. But you got one… maybe two more excused nights before Rock’s likely going to just say ‘fuck it,’ kick in the door, and kill your ass. We’re drawing nearer and nearer to the point of ‘produce a corpse or we’ll be making one,’ Eve, so… yeah.”
And by a corpse, she means someone from the Savage Saviors. Given that’s the whole damn reason for him tracking my phone now.
“Enjoy yourself now, for today, but after this, you need to get your shit together—be back on that corner in super-slut mode. If you don’t act like a hooker and have the attitude like you want to suck every dick in this city dry, girl, let me tell you, you won’t have a mouth to suck dicks with when Rock’s done with you. Rock only needs one half-assed excuse to kill you. By day? I mean, I’d say be cautious but I can’t stop you, even though I will tell you to not tell anyone else. But once we start at that corner? You best be whoring yourself out or you’ll be killing yourself off.”.”
I flinched at that, not wanting to point out that that was hardly the way things should be. I tried to pipe up and say something, but Crystal had command of the conversation now and I had no way to stop it.
“And don’t be making it obvious that you got some side-thing going on, kay?” Crystal went on. “That pussy might as well have a Black Falcon stamp on it. If Rock could figure out a way to put a mile-counter—or, in this case, an inch-counter—inside of us to make sure there weren’t any dicks getting in without paying then I’m sure he would have by now. And if you don’t think he would do that, just think about what happened last night.”
I frowned at that. It all just felt so… defeating, like there was no reason to keep trying with the measures Rock would put in place. I might as well just flee with Derek, ask to leave the city, and never turn around.
Except that would get Crystal killed, and though I wanted to save my ass, I didn’t want a death on my conscience.
“Is there any mystery at this point that I’m depressed?” I said with a weary sigh.
I expected Crystal to commiserate but then ultimately say I had to keep my head up and some crude remark about my mouth or my legs open. To my surprise, she only did the first half.
“Nah girl. Why do you think I’m going through all this trouble to help you get out there with your biker boy?”
I blushed at that, realizing that she hadn’t been missing a beat about what’d been happening to me.
“So you enjoy yourself now. Maybe see if you can’t recapture an appreciation for an orgasm; lord knows your pussy’s earned some genuine loving after all the work it’s been putting in. But when you come back, don’t let your guard down, and whatever you do, don’t let Rock or his lackeys see you for anything other than what they see you as. I don’t like it any more than you do, but we’ve gotta do what we do to survive.”
I already knew what I had to do, even if Crystal had not said so explicitly.
This was probably going to be the last chance I had to see Derek before whatever rescue operation he put into place. If measures were going up as quickly as they were, we wouldn’t get anything beyond today. We could get away with it once, but twice would result in us being surrounded by the Falcons and Derek beaten to death in the street.
That was, if Derek decided to come back to me after today.
Eve, really, when are you going to let yourself believe he’s serious?
But it wasn’t an unfair thought. Absence may have made the heart grow fonder, but only in established relationships. For budding ones, absence just made the heart wither away, and if we didn’t continue the momentum we have, I could easily see Derek just saying adios, not worth the trouble.
I hated myself for getting swept up half in the euphoria that we’d get married and be safe someday and half in the idea that he would leave me when it was no longer convenient. Neither was true yet, cert
ainly wouldn’t be any time soon.
But in the meantime, Derek had done one very nice thing for me, perhaps without even realizing it.
Derek and his lifestyle had swept me up into a fantasy mindset where I didn’t have to be a whore and I was allowed to have nice things. I was allowed to be human. I didn’t have to be an object. It was a wonderful…
Fantasy…
Well, I deserved a happy ending, right?
Didn’t I deserve a chance to actually have a good life?
Didn’t I?
For all that you’ve done? For all that you’re counting on? You’re out of your damn mind. Whore.
I frowned, feeling a tear falling down my cheek before even realizing that I had been crying. I decidedly hated that I’d cried more this past week than I had in almost all my life. I hadn’t even cried this much when Rock had first taken me and forced me into this life. I watched as Crystal’s face grew soft and she stepped over, grabbing a box of tissues.
“Come on, Eve. It’ll be okay,” she spoke softly.
“Am I stupid to believe anything could come from this?” I whimpered.
Why am I so desperate…
Because anyone who’s not desperate in this spot has probably already given up on life.
“Not at all,” she said. “Just think—”
I looked at her as the sound of Derek’s motorcycle came from out front. I hated that it was so obvious and so loud—this really would have to be the last time we hung out before his operation. This was just getting too obvious and risky.
“Your Prince Charming is here,” Crystal smirked.
I blushed and nodded, starting to stand.
“You want to come down and meet him,” I said. “Might as well, since I’m not gonna let him come by here again.”
Crystal shook her head. Probably for the best, honestly—we didn’t need eyes on all of us meeting some man on a bike in broad daylight.