by Unknown
I shot August a nasty look but did what he said. Actually, a shower sounded very welcoming. I cleaned up and grabbed my makeup bag that had sunk to the bottom of my luggage from disuse. I had never unpacked and when I did laundry, I folded my clothes up and packed them back in my bag instead of in the closet. The only item in the closet was Ari’s shirt. August was more at home in the flat than I ever would be. I had broken down once and gone in to the London baio. I had no choice; most of my clothes sagged on my frame.
Though the end of March was near, the weather was still cold, so I put on some jeans, my tall leather riding boots, a sweater, my black Burberry trench coat and a red pashmina.
I followed August out in to the crowded streets of London and after an entire day of walking and shopping, I found a bunch of gifts to get Ari. We got a few things from Pelican & Parrots, and then we went to Rough Trade and stocked him up on some vintage vinyl records of his favorite bands to add to Ari’s extensive collection. We stopped in The Last Tuesday Society and I got him a creepy, two-headed teddy bear.
I got Ari nineteen gifts all together and while we shopped, August took pictures of all throughout London. We went in to the best cake shop, Konditor & Cook, and I ordered him their signature magic cake. They are little squares that you put together to spell out words. I had them do nineteen squares each in black and white. They alternated X’s and O’s on each piece. They assured me the cake would be delivered to him on his birthday.
We got back to the flat and I started to wrap each gift while August put all of his pictures together, and made a different card for each present. He picked the cards up at the photo shop, down the street, and I stocked up on postal boxes so I could ship each gift separately. The FEDEX guy was going to hate me but it was worth it. When August got back, he had nineteen different cards. Each one was of a different busy and popular location in London and I was blended in somewhere in the mix. He made it into a fun, “Where’s Waldo,” birthday card game.
The game actually was really hard; if not for my red pashmina, I wouldn’t have been able to find myself in more than half of the pictures. What August had done with these cards was perfect. I signed each one with a simple “XO” and we packed them inside with the gifts and walked them down to be shipped out. I had them all sent to Aggie’s house. Ari’s birthday was on Saturday so I knew he would be home to receive them. I had a nervous feeling. I wasn’t sure if I had done the right thing. What if he had moved on and found someone else? I couldn’t bear the thought so I pushed it back to the corner of my mind and moved on to homework.
On Thursday, August announced that we would be going a boat cruise on The Thames River. I crossed my arms across my chest and downright refused.
“I don’t do boats, August. Pick something else or leave.”
August flopped down on the couch in disappointment. “Fine Ava, what would you like to do today?”
“Nothing?” We had already seen Westminster Abbey, Windsor Castle, St. Paul’s Cathedral, The Globe and Hampton Court Palace. I had been on a double decker bus more times than I ever cared to. August had dragged me to Madame Tussaud’s. I had a freak out on the London Eye and screamed through the London Bridge Experience.
“Not happening, Ava; we are going to do something.”
“Stonehenge?” I smiled. I could do stones; there was nothing threatening about that.
We spent the morning on the train, then paid a visit to Stonehenge. August bought me a souvenir, I bought lunch and we rode the train home. It was a nice, quiet and normal day spent with a friend. It was a nice break from rain and sadness.
****
August and I were sitting in the living room, reading very late into the night on Ari’s birthday, when my phone started to go off nonstop. He gave me a sly smile as I got up and yanked it off the charger. I had gotten a dozen texts from Ari’s whole family. Lauren had sent me a one that said, “Oh, my gosh that bear is super creepy! I love you! Come home!” as soon as I saw her words, my heart sank. I didn’t think I was prepared to read all of the notes, but I put myself through torture anyway and kept reading. Rory sent me a message that said, “This cake is freaking awesome,” and that put me a little more at ease. I got messages from Julia, Nick, Gianna, Thais, Aggie and Andy -- all saying how much fun it was watching Ari open my gifts and how nice it was to see him smile again. They said that they all played the “Where’s Ava” game together and it made them miss me and they wished me a safe return home.
I wiped a tear from my eye and took in a deep breath. I didn’t have the heart to text them back. I had nothing to say and no hope of coming home. I said good night to August and walked to my room. I had just gotten under the blankets when I got one last text. It was from Ari and he had sent a simple “O,” so I quickly replied with an “X” and then cried myself to sleep.
I woke up the next day in time to say goodbye to August, who was taking a few days off to meet his parents at a resort on the seaside in Wales. I watched him pack from my perch in my window seat as I sipped on my coffee.
“Are you sure you don’t want to join us, Ava? You know you’re welcome.”
“For the hundredth time no, but thank you for the offer anyway. I’ll be fine; I am planning on hanging out with Nora.”
August let out a sigh and an eye roll.
“Ava, running with someone is not the same thing as ‘hanging out.’ You need a life.”
I got up and walked to my room, slamming the door behind me. I put on Lil Jon at full blast. Knowing August’s taste in music, he probably would leave sooner than he had planned.
****
Nora was fun to run with. She had really improved her time and speed and I was confident she would complete the marathon with little trouble.
By the middle of the week, I had read everything that August had assigned and I was utterly bored. On Thursday, Nora and I went for a run and I asked what she had going on for the night.
“I am going to this new club in Soho. You should come; it’ll be fun.”
I was hesitant but anything was better than sulking around my flat. August was right; I needed a life.
“Yeah, ok, I’ll go if you are sure it’s ok.”
“Absolutely! I’ll meet you there at eight?”
I agreed to meet Nora and then made my way to the market to stock up on some things I was in need of... like food. And soap. Just a few of the essentials. I got a bunch of fresh fruit and veggies and a gaggle of toiletries and went back to my flat. I took an incredibly sharp knife out of the drawer and began to cut up an apple, nearly slicing my finger off. I set the knife on the counter, ate my apple and then hopped in the shower to get ready for the evening.
Nora, and her boyfriend, Adler, met me out in Soho and the club proved to be a good time. Nora and I danced all night and Adler was a nice guy. I felt a pang of jealously, though, whenever I saw them dancing together or talking and holding hands. They were sweet and despite the fact that they made me long for Ari, I was still happy for Nora.
It was around two in the morning when I finally arrived back home and I fell straight asleep. Immediately I started to dream, but the dream was another new one and more than a bit strange. In it I was asleep, at least I seemed to be -- sleeping within my sleep. I was confused. I perceived my dream as a waking state and still saw myself there on the bed, asleep. I couldn’t actually tell if I was dreaming or awake. The answer came as I saw Kakos No. 3 walk into my bedroom holding a knife. His intention was plain – he was coming to slit my throat, and if the dream proved to be a prediction, as the others had been, he would be in my flat within moments.
Jumping awake, I ran to my window, peered down, and watched as No. 3 slipped into the building through a broken window on the first floor. I shot through the flat to the kitchen and grabbed the knife I had used on my apple earlier in the evening. I then ran to August’s room. I threw open his closet, grabbed one of the foam heads with a brown wig on it, then raced back to my room. I threw the head down on a pillow face fir
st and started shoving pillows under the blankets in an attempt to make it look as though I was sleeping there. Hearing my front door creak open, I padded noiselessly over to the wall behind my bedroom door and waited.
It did not take long for No. 3 to enter my bedroom. I stood there in the shadow of the door, terrified and hoping the sound of my pounding heart would not give me away. I watched as No. 3 lifted his knife over his head. He brought it down hard in to the back of the foam head’s neck. In his moment of confusion about just what his knife had sliced into, I struck. I jumped on his back and he swung around. I grabbed him around the head and with my knife in my hand, I sliced his thick neck from ear to ear. He fell backwards, on top of me, on the bed.
I struggled and began to panic as I tried to pry No. 3’s gross, heavy body off me. I began to feel hysteria take over my mind, but forced myself to stay braced.
“Ok, Ava, think! Calm down!” I muttered to myself from under No. 3’s weight.
I managed to roll him away from me, then shook my body and took a few deep breaths to stop my hyperventilating. No. 3 was definitely dead. With a great deal of difficulty, I wrapped him in my bloody sheets. My hands were shaking and my eyes were blurred by tears. I dragged the body through my flat, trying hard not to get blood on anything. The door to the flat stood open, as did the door to the lift... and I pushed and pulled No. 3 into the car, then clambered in alongside him and pushed the button for the ground floor.
When the creaking elevator ground to a halt and the metal door rolled to the side, I pulled No. 3 out of the building through the service entrance that led to a back, unlit alleyway. I continued to drag him for a block or so, looking back over my shoulder frequently to check for witnesses, then rolled his body out of my sheets and left him wedged between two dumpsters.
Thankfully, there hadn’t been another soul in sight...a rarity for Camden Town. I grabbed my sheets and then took off running towards the flat, unnoticed. As soon as I got back, I started a fire in the fireplace and slowly burned my sheets and bedding until all that was left was a stained mattress. I sprayed the mattress with bleach and scrubbed until my fingers ached and then I flipped it over. Then I scrubbed the knives, both mine and the one Kakos No. 3 had carried, wrapped them up several times in old newspaper and garbage bags and dumped them in the garbage.
Once my place was completely spotless, I crawled in the tub and turned the shower on as hot as I could stand it. The hot water rinsed the blood from my body, turning the clear water and the white porcelain tub a dull rusty red. The blood swirling in the water at my ankles, made my stomach heave uneasily. I stood under the water until it had turned icy cold. I scrubbed my fingers until my skin began to peel off. I ripped my fingernails down to sore nubs in an attempt to get the blood out from underneath them.
When all was done that could be done in the tub, I crept to my room and threw on some sweats and my old cubs tee-shirt. I crawled on my hands and knees to my closet, I threw the door open and yanked Ari’s gray sweatshirt from the floor and wrapped it around myself. I stayed there on the closet floor, closed my eyes, and inhaled Ari’s delicious scent until my state of shock began to subside. As the adrenaline that had flooded me during the attack faded, the severity of my situation began to sink in. I ran to the bathroom and was sick for what felt like hours.
No. 3’s body went undiscovered until Saturday morning. I had not slept, eaten, washed or changed my clothes since Friday, the early morning that I had killed him. August arrived back on Sunday afternoon and found me lying on the floor in the bathroom. I had just gotten over another round of dry heaves. My ribs were sticking out from my stomach, and my hipbones had become sharp points. No matter how I tried to lie down, my stomach hurt.
“Holy hell, Ava,” August shouted, causing my ears to ring. “What happened? Is everything ok?”
I just shrugged my shoulders, unable to communicate.
“Seriously, Ava, what’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” I croaked, “just not feeling well I guess.”
Once again, I consumed with hate and anger. My insides were hollow. When I hadn’t been busy getting sick in the bathroom, I was pulling my hair and screaming.
“You are skeletal, Ava. When you feel like telling me what went down, maybe I can help you. We stared at each other for minutes before August turned away and said, “So... did you hear about the mobster kind of guy they found dead a couple of blocks down in our alley yesterday?”
I continued my deadpan stare and August flipped the TV on and turned it to the news.
The newswoman was explaining that it was the third mysterious death of a Kakos brother this year. She explained that the first two deaths had taken place on New Year’s Eve, in Dana Point, California, during an attempted kidnapping. She went on to say that the Kakos family was not available for comments at this time and that no suspects had been named. The anchor then read a full page of arrests and criminal activity the three had been involved in.
“Dana Point,” August said, finally putting it together. “Isn’t that where you sent all those boxes? That’s where Ari is from, isn’t it?”
I nodded my head slowly, really, really not wanting to talk about this.
“Oh, my gosh, that’s nuts. Do you know who they tried to kidnap?”
I nodded my head again.
“No way, are you serious?”
I once again nodded my head then opened my mouth. “It was Ari’s sister.”
“You’re lying!” August exclaimed.
“I wish I were,” I said as I closed my eyes and tried to fight back fresh tears.
“So what happened,” he pressed. I tightened my eyes, squeezing them closed as hard as I could. I would come clean to August. Our friendship would just be easier that way.
“Well, those two men kidnapped Ari’s sister. I found them, managed to free her, and one of them shot me,” I began to explain as I pulled Ari’s sweatshirt down off my left shoulder revealing my now scarred gunshot wounds.
“They thought I was dead and put me in a garbage bag. They were going to dump my body at sea but I regained consciousness. I cut myself out of the bag and found the gun. I shot one guy in the back of the head and I killed him. A fight broke out between the other guy and me and I managed to get a rope around his neck and then push him over the side of the boat; I hanged him. Ari saved my life; I nearly bled to death on his back patio. I moved here to London the day they released me from the hospital.”
“Nuh uh,” was August’s response.
I shrugged my shoulders, not caring if he believed me or not.
“So is the fact that one of their brothers was found dead a block from here just a coincidence?”
“He came here to kill me few nights ago. I did the only thing I could to survive.”
“Oh hell, Ava! We have to call the police.”
“Go ahead and call them if you want. I don’t blame you, but by the time the police get here I will be gone and you will never see me again.”
“Why?”
“I can’t really explain it; I just can’t be connected to this.”
August paced the floor for a while, and then he finally took a seat on the couch. “Fine, I trust you.”
All I could do was roll my eyes at him. August took in the sight of my oversized sweatshirt, “so does he know?”
“No, I haven’t told them. I’m sure Ari’s father has been made aware of the situation by now, but I don’t owe them anything. They chose to keep Aggie’s cancer from me so I don’t feel a need to tell them anything.”
“You are so messed up, Ava.” August said with a sigh.
“Whatever, you want to go with me to Jake’s?”
“Sure, but I am not going anywhere with you until you shower and brush your teeth.”
I took in one last inhale from Ari’s sweatshirt then put it back in the corner of my closet and headed to the shower.
At Jake’s, I had a third tally mark tattooed onto my left wrist.
Chapter 19
I was on edge for a couple of weeks, worried that someone would come to question me about Kakos No. 3, but the only person I heard from was Margaux; she texted me, saying that if I should need anything to let her know. Her message indicated clearly that she knew I was involved in the murder. I began to lighten up a bit and August and I went out much more as the weather got warmer. We began to hang out with Nora and Adler in Soho. Sometimes Claude, August’s ex-boyfriend, would tag along. Claude had just moved to London and was trying to get back into August’s life. The “should he or shouldn’t he” conversation became a daily feature of our lives.
One night when I was sitting at a bar with August, I got a text from Rory: “Pick us up at Heathrow in an hour?” A second text arrived from him immediately after: “Please?” Then came a third: “Oh & can we stay w/u for a week?”
I stared at my phone and blinked several times. Rory is here. Here in London. My lips pulled up at the corners and I felt… excited! I typed a quick “okay” in response and grabbed August, telling him we had to head to Heathrow. We said goodbye to Nora and Adler. We ignored Claude, who was having a moment on the dance floor, dancing by himself to Deadmau5, and headed out to pick Rory up at the airport.
“So who is this person exactly and who else is with him?”
“Um, he’s my friend and Ari’s cousin.”
“Is he with Ari?!” August exclaimed.
I shoved that thought away; I was not going to let myself get excited about the prospect of seeing Ari.
“I doubt it.”
“Oh…So, he is staying with us for a week?”
“Yeah. I guess. I would have told you sooner but I only just found out.”
“Are you sure Ari isn’t with him?”
The very thought of seeing Ari was like a crazy addictive drug. It made every nerve in my body dance around with excitement. I knew not to get my hopes up.
“Yes August, I’m sure he isn’t here.”
We got to Heathrow just in time to meet Rory at the pick-up area. I heard Julia’s squeals and closed my eyes, bracing myself for what was to come. Rory scooped me up into a giant bear hug that made my ribs scream out in pain, but I had missed him so much I didn’t care. Just seeing him standing there was a very surreal moment. I took one tiny glance through the corridor. No Ari.