by Unknown
As though able to read my thoughts, Rory bit down on his bottom lip, shook his head no and gave me one last reassuring squeeze.
“So what are you guys doing here?” I finally asked as I tried to get us a cab.
“It’s spring break and we missed you, so here we are! Julia used the tickets you and um… well, the tickets she got for Christmas.”
“This is an awesome surprise,” I said, then turned and introduced them to August.
We got a cab, and packed it down with luggage and headed to my makeshift home.
August moved to the couch, giving Rory and Julia his room, and we stayed up most of the night talking about school and parties and stuff no one cared about; we were all very careful to avoid the Ari conversation. The next day, Julia and August slept in while Rory joined Nora and me on our run. I could tell our slow pace was killing him, but he was gracious and kept stride for Nora’s sake.
We spent the afternoon touring London. Since Julia had grown up nearby, we visited all of her favorite places; the tour gave us a chance to get to know each other a little bit better. They forced me back on the London Eye and I kept my eyes closed for the whole half hour ride. We visited the cemetery where Julia’s family rests. I could tell it was a very hard thing for her to do. She started crying and threw her arms around me in a hug.
“You did it, didn’t you?” she whispered in my ear.
“I don’t know what you are talking about...I’m sorry.”
“You killed him. The Kakos they found here last month. He was the man who killed my parents. Thank you, Ava.”
“Oh…”
We spent nearly every night out in Soho, and since August did not believe in spring break, I continued my studies with him in the mornings. Of the many schools I had attended and of the many teachers I had had to deal with, August was by far the most strict. But he made up for pushing me by coming home Thursday night with six tickets to the Mumford & Sons’ Friday night show at The Hammersmith Apollo. I gave him my biggest hug and a little kiss on his cheek while he tried to wiggle away.
We dressed up for the evening and I even let Julia do my makeup. Then we met up with Adler and Nora at Les Trois Garcons for dinner, one of my favorite places and one of August’s too. Its pink-and-blue chandeliers, stuffed monkeys smoking cigars, and handbags strung from the ceiling create an atmosphere that is somewhat whimsical but also very chic. After a great dinner, complete with lots of storytelling and laughter, we made our way to the show. The Hammersmith was bursting at the seams but the Mumford & Sons’ show was fantastic and worth the close quarters. We all had a great time and I could tell that Julia and August had become fast friends. I don’t know why I hadn’t noticed earlier how much alike they are.
We got back to my flat really late. Julia and August crashed on the couch as soon as we walked through the door. I donned my tank and boxers and climbed up in my window seat with a cup of tea. Rory found me there and pulled his giant self in next to me.
“He misses you, you know,” Rory whispered as he nudged my shoulder with his. A big fat tear rolled down my cheek.
“I miss him, too,” I said quietly.
“So come home, Ava. This place is no good for you. No offense, but you look sick and tired. And thin and pale. You’re sleeping on a bare mattress for Pete’s sake. You have a home with us. Come back with Julia and me, please.”
“I can’t Roar, you know that. I just can’t.” I swallowed hard. “So, does he know you are here?”
“I didn’t tell him, but I’m sure he knows by now. You know no one in our family can keep a secret.” Rory paused for a moment, “Ava, Ari is a mess; all he does is mope around. Aggie is worried sick about him.” Rory pulled out his phone and held it up so I could see a picture he had taken of Ari asleep, in his bed at home, with a two-headed teddy bear tucked under his arm.
“He said it smells like you, whatever that means.”
I started to cry, even though I had a smile on my face. That picture made me both the saddest and happiest I had been in a very long time. Rory pulled me to him and let me cry into his shoulder until I was all dried up.
I finally got myself together. “So do you think Ari will be mad at you two for sneaking off here?”
“If I know Ari, and I think do, he is going to be irate. He has been looking for a reason to break my nose for months now. But he won’t be as mad as when he sees those tats, Ava.”
“Oh, yeah,” I said, scrunching up my nose and holding out my arm to display my new art. “Well, I guess we won’t know until we get to see each other again, if ever.”
“I’m joking, Ava. He’ll probably think it’s the hottest thing ever. I’m sure he won’t be able to take his hands off you, not that he ever could to begin with.”
I blushed and the thought of Ari’s touch sent happy shivers down my spine.
“I told him I didn’t love him.”
“I know you did.”
“I lied.”
“He knows that. We all know that.”
“Rory, this is so much harder than I ever imagined. I just want the Kakos thing to all be over with. I just want to go home.”
“I know, Baby. But you can come home whenever you want. We’ll always have a place for you, no matter what.”
****
We took Julia and Rory to the airport on Saturday. August and Julia hugged about a million times and I am pretty sure I even saw him cry when they said their final goodbye.
“How come you never told me about Julia before? She is so awesome,” August said as we headed out of the airport.
“Umm, Julia is… nice. She’s a good friend. I guess I didn’t think my past would ever mingle with my present. I am really glad you like her.”
I didn’t say much more on the cab ride home. A part of me was elated that they had come to see me, but now that they were gone, I felt empty. The anger and sadness started to creep back into my psyche. I felt that old self-hate begin to rise in me again. If I could be any other person in the world, I could just go home and be normal with Ari.
August and I arrived back at our flat and I went straight back to my room. I lay on my bare mattress, covered myself up with a sweater, and let the tears roll down my cheeks.
That night I had a dream that August had gone to Camden Bar & Kitchen to fetch our drinks. At first, I paid no real attention to the dream; then I noticed a man dressed in black, sitting alone at a small table near the window. I had seen this man before, in another dream. This was No. 4 and his plan was perfectly clear. Poison.
By the time the sun peeked through my windows, my plan was already under way. I woke August up by digging through his closet for a ginger-colored, curly-haired wig that I had seen in there a few weeks ago. I also dragged out a pair of fish-net stockings and a leather mini skirt, then headed to the bathroom to get ready. I paired my new outfit with some black leather boots and a black leather jacket. Julia had left her eye make up on the counter, so I put on dark eyeliner and fake eyelashes to go along with the rest of my ensemble.
August stumbled groggily in to the bathroom, looked at me and said, “Ok, Ava, you have seriously lost it.”
“Shut up and listen,” I snapped as I pushed him down onto the toilet as a makeshift seat. “Here’s the plan. The fourth Kakos is making an appearance today and he has added you to his hit list, so if you want to survive, you will do as I say.”
I saw that I had his full attention, and continued. “Today, at ten o’clock, No. 4 is going to be at the Camden Bar & Kitchen. He will have paid the cashier to spike the drinks that you order with poison. I am going to go down there, before you arrive, and switch his glass vial out for mine,” I said as I pulled out a tiny glass vial that was filled with plain tap water.
“No. 4 will make a huge mistake right before you walk through the door. He will go to the loo, and when he does, he’ll leave the poison in the inner pocket of his suit jacket. I am going to switch the vials, pour the real poison into his coffee and then leave to make a phon
e call. When you see me leave, that is your cue to order our drinks. You need to sit by the counter and act pre-occupied so No. 4 will feel comfortable with the transaction. He will walk from the bathroom, grab the vial out of his pocket, and pretend to make small talk with the cashier as he nonchalantly passes the now fake poison on. As soon as you get the drinks, you need to leave Camden’s and bring the coffee straight back here. No. 4 is going to return to his table and drink that poison and I don’t want you anywhere around when he does.”
August stared at me for a long while in disbelief.
“It’s either that, or Nora will find our dead bodies on Monday.”
“Sick,” he said with a scrunched-up nose.
“Yeah, tell me about it,” I agreed. “So you’re in?”
August agreed, and at ten, I arrived at the café, in full costume, and took my place at a table near No. 4. His jacket was hanging from his chair and I could spy the vial of clear poison in the inner breast pocket. A few short minutes later, he stood up and walked to the restroom. As soon as I heard the door click shut, I got to work, grabbing the vial out of his pocket, and dumping the liquid into his coffee. I worked fast, careful not to be noticed by any of the patrons, most of whom were sipping hot coffee and checking the morning Times. I took my vial, shoved it into his pocket, slid the empty one into my own coat pocket and headed out to the street to make my fake phone call. My heart was pounding and my palms were sweaty. If we messed up this plan, August and I were both goners.
When No. 4 returned to his table, August walked in and placed our regular order of drinks. He eased onto a stool to wait. No. 4 came up to the counter and asked for a morning paper, palming the fake bottle to the cashier at the same time and then went back to his seat. The cashier handed August our drinks and told him that this time the drinks were on the house. A very kind sort of fellow...giving us coffee that he had just doctored up.
August did as I had told him to and went straight back to the flat while I waited for No. 4 to take a drink of his coffee.
Seconds passed. I watched him read the paper.
Minutes passed.
Drink.
Drink.
Drink, damn it, drink.
My heart pounded, my breathing hitched in my chest as No. 4 put the cup up to his lips. A few tense moments passed and then suddenly he grabbed his chest in shock and pain. His eyes slid closed and he slumped lifeless, out of his chair and onto the floor. Screams and panic broke out in the café. Questions about the Heimlich maneuver and about who would call the paramedics flew in the air and one customer tried to start CPR. I took the chaos as my cue to walk away.
The next day, August and I went back to Camden Bar & Kitchen and I walked up to the cashier. His nametag told me his name was Keith.
“Hi Keith, you remember me? I am supposed to be dead, right? Well as you can see I’m not, no thanks to you.” I lowered my voice to a near whisper and gave him an evil smile. “I’m watching you, and someday, when you least expect it, I will give you what you deserve.”
Keith said not a word nor did he blink an eye as August and I walked away. I didn’t really plan to seek any revenge on him, though. I do think that sometimes silence-induced paranoia is enough torture on its own.
August and I made our way down the street towards Jake’s. August had a grumpy look on his face.
“What’s the matter with you?”
“Nothing,” he pouted. “It’s just, this stinks. Now we’re going to have to find a new place to get coffee.”
I laughed, “I know. Bummer, right?”
After a fourth tally mark was tattooed on my left wrist, I stayed home again, wrapped in Ari’s sweatshirt, sick and shaky. The news shows reported No. 4’s death and, detailed another horrible rap sheet. But even though these men had been monsters, the knowledge that I had taken lives that weren’t already on the edge of ending unnerved me. I tried to justify my actions by reminding myself over and over again that, if I had not acted, I would certainly be dead myself. But still I obsessed over what I had done to the point of sickness.
Killing the Kakos was much different from cutting the threads in my dream. For the most part, my dream involved people who were dying and just needed help making it to the other side. For them, death was a part of life, something neither I nor they could avoid. Killing the Kakos was a cold-blooded act, born of a conscious mind and it took a toll on me, even though I knew it had to be either them or me. August suggested I take my matter up in a church.
“I’ll go with you, Ava, if you want.”
“Fine.” Couldn’t hurt, I guessed. We went to a small church on a quiet corner and I made a silent confession and begged for forgiveness. When we left, I was shaking and could not stop the tears from flowing. August had to help me back to the flat.
“Ok, maybe church was too much. Perhaps you should just go get drunk. I would be more than willing to do that with you.”
“I don’t drink, August.”
“Well, maybe you should.”
“I don’t know if you’ve noticed or not, but I am a complete control freak. I cannot lose control, ever. Drinking is a horrible idea.”
“Well, I still think you should try it,” he responded.
Margaux called me to check in shortly after the news reported the death of No. 4. The last time we had spoken was by text, just after No. 3 was found. I let her know that I was fine and on track to graduate. Neither of us actually spoke about No. 4’s death, but we both knew that was why she was calling.
With time, I recovered from the emotions the death of No. 4 had brought on and I felt good enough to go to the Virgin Marathon, the rather prestigious marathon Nora had been training for. August and I met Adler at the race so the three of us could cheer Nora on together. The area around the starting line was filled with friends and families of the runners and several news stations were represented.
Nora had asked me to find sponsors and run with her, but I knew my body wouldn’t be able to handle the race. Besides, the thought of running a marathon without my mother with me made me sad. So we cheered for Nora all day long at various spots throughout the race, and when we met her at the finish line, she ran straight into Adler’s arms.
Adler promptly went down on one knee and pulled from his pocket a little black box that he opened to reveal a beautiful diamond ring. Looking very serious and a little overwhelmed, he asked Nora to marry him. With tears in her eyes, she happily agreed and we all cried and hugged. She even hugged complete strangers - she was so excited.
The four of us met a while later for a celebration drink and were delighted, as we sat at our table, to see that a local news station covering the marathon had caught the proposal on tape. Since the Virgin London Marathon was a pretty big deal, the proposal was played on the news all throughout the evening.
August kept me busy the whole month of May with schoolwork. I worked on lessons and reading assignments from the time I woke up until late into the evening. My schedule seemed to have finally readjusted itself so that I was again sleeping at night, rather than not at all. I missed Ari. A lot. And I had another near breakdown one night when August gave in to temptation and agreed to a date with Claude. I sent Ari a tiny “x” text and he quickly shot me back a tiny “o.” I wanted desperately to call him and tell him I loved him. I yearned for his voice, his smile, and his touch, but I knew one phone call would break me and I would be on the next flight to L.A.
I got out of bed, took my phone, and hid it from myself in the other room. As I was walking back to my room, I heard the front door open and close. It was August and he was in tears. He threw himself on the couch and I sat on the floor next to him. He told me how things had gone with Claude and how he just knew there would be no revival of their former relationship. He was hurting and so was I. We both sat and cried until the sun came through my oval window, reminding us that real life was waiting and there were more pressing issues on the table than heartache.
My finals started the beginning of
June and they were tedious and ridiculously difficult. I cussed August out for three days straight. The tests and essays were next to impossible. August spent an entire day grading my exams, but when he finished he reported that I had received all A’s for the semester. He would turn my report into Wheatin Prep where I would officially be receiving my diploma.
“Ava,” he said with a huge grin, “you graduated at the top of your class. Do you have any idea how many people are going to be pissed when they find out that some shut-in they’ve never seen before has beat them to Valedictorian?”
“I am not a shut-in August, and I don’t care what they think about it. And just for the record, I will not be attending any ceremonies.”
“Ugh. Whatever, Ava. Are you never just happy?”
I gave him a mean stare, refusing to answer his stupid question, but allowed myself to be talked into going to Riverside Café for a small celebration and a surprise graduation gift, a gift certificate for one free tattoo at Jake’s.
“Aw shucks, August, you shouldn’t have!” I said with a laugh, already thinking about what fantastic art I might find for my right arm.
It was a very strange feeling knowing that I had graduated from high school and the only thing on my horizon was the fact that I had to kill two more Kakos brothers before one of them killed me. I sent a text to Margaux letting her know that I had graduated, but she didn’t bother to respond.
After my mini-celebration, I fell asleep on my bare, scratchy mattress and that night No. 5 came to me in my dreams. This time the plan was to play with fire.
I had less than twenty hours to decide how to respond to the idea of fire and get my counter plan in order. The attack I had seen in my dream would be awful and I’ll admit I was terrified. I woke August in the morning and told him to pack only the necessities. Taking in the somber tone of my voice, he immediately did as I said. I packed most of my stuff too, tucking Ari’s sweatshirt into a top corner of my bag. Then I gave my things to August and sent him off to Jake’s place with all he could carry of what we both owned. I told him to wait there for me, but I was purposefully vague on the details.