Rhamin

by Bryce THOMAS

  Roxana gave him the best smile yet. ‘That sounds okay to me,’ she said. ‘What are you doing up here anyway?’ she asked, as she led the way along the side of the mountain.

  ‘I don’t know; I just happened to be passing. I come up here often.’ He paused and then asked, ‘What are you doing up here then?’

  ‘Hunting of course.’

  There was a brief silence. ‘I tried to call you,’ Rasci stated eventually.

  ‘Yes, I heard,’ Roxana replied.

  ‘Why didn’t you reply?’

  ‘I wasn’t sure I was doing the right thing,’ she said quickly. ‘It’s not my own territory, remember.’ She looked away and started humming lightly to herself.

  Rasci found it very distracting. His head suddenly seemed like it was going to float away. ‘I could leave the pack,’ he stated suddenly. It dispersed the light headedness. He looked away and thought about what he had just said. He wasn’t sure why he had said it.

  ‘You look surprised,’ Roxana said, a smile turning on her lips.

  ‘I… I don’t know what made me say that,’ Rasci said, remorsefully. ‘I know I am not the right wolf for you.’

  ‘Who told you that? I didn’t say that you were the wrong wolf. I just said that that I have ambitions to be with a leader of a pack. You are a leader, Rasci. And anyway, it’s the sort of thing I might have said to any stranger.’

  ‘To put them off, you mean?’

  ‘To keep my space, I’d say. Until I knew them better.’

  ‘But you left so suddenly. You didn’t want to know me better, then?’

  They wandered into a small clearing where the grass was growing long in a dappled shade. She stopped and turned to him. ‘Look, Rasci, I just don’t want to see you get hurt. It’s a bad world out there. You seem to have a lot on your shoulders and I didn’t want to add to your problems.’

  ‘My problems?’ It made Rasci think. He certainly had problems, and Roxana knew it. She had seen him one day perfectly all right. The next time they met, she had seen him injured and being stalked by a wolf eating cat. He reckoned he had problems all right, and she didn’t even know the half of it. He had the problem of not only finding Rhamin but of getting him away from his captors. He had the problem that he might be killed doing it. And now he had the problem that he might want to be the leader of the pack after all. The pulse above his right eye throbbed.

  ‘Why don’t you share them with me? You know what they say.’

  Rasci tried to concentrate on something other than his own troubles. ‘What? Oh, the weight of a problem is halved when it is carried by two, you mean?’

  ‘Something like that.’

  Rasci shook his head. ‘You wouldn’t want to know, trust me.’

  ‘How can I know that? When you say it like that, it clearly shows you don’t trust me. You obviously aren’t confident enough to let me try and help you.’ Her eyes seemed angry.

  ‘It’s not something you can help with, Roxana. It’s… well it’s not really anything any other wolf can help me with.’ He stepped close to her and muzzled her neck. ‘I’m sorry.’

  She pulled away. ‘No, you aren’t,’ she said crossly. ‘You say you’re sorry, but you really don’t want me to know anything about you, do you?’

  Rasci wasn’t sure. At this very moment he wanted to tell her everything about himself, about how Rhamin disappeared, about how he became leader of the pack, about how he had dreams that took him to places far away where he could talk in another language and see things more clearly than actually being there. But how could he do that without making her think he was some kind of nut case? Even his own pack members had a chuckle or two when it was explained to them, and they had known Rasci for years. It certainly wasn’t a recipe to impress the females!

  ‘Look, Roxana, I like you very much, but I am about to embark on a task that at the very least will cost me the leadership of the pack, and might, more than likely get me killed.’ He looked at her with saddened eyes. ‘And the problem is; I think I would like to see what life with you is like.’

  ‘Oh, would you now,’ she said, mischievously. ‘Well, Rasci, you are going to have to impress me by telling me then, just what this adventure of yours is all about.’ She stepped closer to him. ‘And I’m going to lie down here and wait until you have told me.’

  Rasci breathed a sigh of resignation. At this particular moment, he didn’t have much to lose. If he told her something that put her off him, then what would it cost him? He was going to reinstate Rhamin, or die trying. So, bang goes his chance of setting up a happy pack with the wolf of his dreams. ‘Well, you know about Rhamin?’ he began.

  ‘Yes, he was killed.’

  Rasci realised Roxana hadn’t heard the news that Rhamin was still alive, and hitherto, he hadn’t even told her of his suspicions that Rhamin was still in this world.

  ‘When we last spoke about him,’ Roxana continued, ‘you didn’t seem to think that you could live up to his memory. You seemed to be saying that you were not the new leader of the pack.’

  ‘Er, I… I’m not sure that I will be leader for all that long.’

  ‘Why not, for goodness sake? With a strong mate, you could be an outstanding leader. You could hold your own against any other wolf. With a strong mate you could do what you liked and no other wolf would be able to object or try to take over.’

  ‘It’s not all that simple,’ Rasci stuttered. ‘I… I believe Rhamin is still alive.’

  ‘Alive?’ Roxana’s forehead wrinkled as she frowned with curiosity. ‘You think Rhamin is alive?’

  ‘Well, he is definitely alive. That’s what I meant to say.’

  ‘Definitely alive!’ Roxana looked disturbed. She got up and paced around. ‘Well, he’s not exactly doing a brilliant job of leading your pack, is he?’

  ‘No, but…’

  ‘Why don’t you just admit it, you don’t like me.’

  ‘No, I like you very much.’ He stopped what he was saying and thought about what he should have said. ‘I mean, you are a good and ambitious young wolf. I have no doubt that if Rhamin were not alive, we could have something going for us.’

  ‘So where is this leader of yours? Why isn’t he with your pack?’

  Rasci tried to be as precise as he could. ‘He’s been captured.’

  ‘Captured? Who by?’

  ‘By a man of course. They are the only creatures that capture animals.’

  ‘Well, of course, I know that,’ Roxana retorted, settling down beside Rasci again. ‘But what man?’

  ‘Oh, it’s a long story.’

  ‘I’ve got time.’

  Rasci tried to explain as simply as he could, how Rhamin had led the pack to save the farmer and the other man when they had been attacked by bears. He explained that the other man had seen Rhamin and wanted him for his own animal enclosure that men kind called a safari park. He didn’t try to explain how he knew all this for sure.

  ‘So is there a chance the man might free him, then?’

  ‘No, not exactly,’

  ‘So what is going to change? Is he coming back, or isn’t he?’

  ‘I… I am… I’m going to try and help him escape, yes.’

  ‘So where does that leave me? If you succeed, I have no leader, no pack. If you fail, well, are you going to be back to tell the tale, I wonder?’

  Rasci felt like he was going to faint. His head thumped and his eyes seemed only to see Roxana. The vultures were calling out again, unseen, somewhere above their heads. He could feel their eyes on him; he could sense the feeling of being watched.

  ‘Look,’ he said eventually. ‘I don’t know why I came out here. In all the territory that I could have travelled today, I had an urge to come up here. Perhaps we were meant to meet. Perhaps we are meant to be together, I don’t know. All I know is that I have to do something for myself. I have to do something for Rhamin. The two things are inextricably linked. I know that if I don’t do what I feel I want to do, then I will never be
the leader I should be.’

  ‘If what you say is right, you’ll never be a leader, anyway!’

  ‘I could leave the pack. We could start our own pack. I know plenty of territories that could stand being farmed by wolves. There are plenty of deer and plenty of buffalo. We needn’t be in the same pack as Rhamin. And perhaps some of my… I mean Rhamin’s pack would come with me.’

  ‘Is there any point, Rasci? You are going to try and save your leader, and as far as I can see, you will probably end up being killed or locked away in that safari park thing with him. If the men kind have got him, then there is no way you can rescue him, believe me.’

  ‘I think I can do it.’

  ‘How?’

  Rasci was already regretting the conversation. Telling her about his remote viewing capability wasn’t going to enhance his argument at this particular time. His heart had already fallen through his chest. ‘Oh, never mind Roxana. It was just a dream. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have bothered you with any of this.’

  ‘But that’s where you’re wrong. If Rhamin is alive then you have to come to terms with the fact that you are not going to be able to rescue him. It just isn’t possible. Men are so inferior to wolves in so many respects, but they have other abilities that keep us in our place; beneath them. They have a unique capability to kill without using their puny teeth or their puny claws. They can build enclosures to encage wolves and other animals; and they can guard them with weapons that will kill a wolf at two thousand paces.’

  ‘I know,’ Rasci said, nodding his head. ‘I have seen their weapons. I was hit by one the day you found me hobbling home.’

  ‘So that was a wound from one of their invisible teeth then?’

  Rasci nodded. ‘Yes’, he said quietly.

  ‘And I suppose you were trying to rescue Rhamin then, were you?’

  ‘Well, not exactly, no.’ He didn’t expand on the statement.

  ‘Oh, so that was somebody who had no interest in stopping you rescuing their prize!’ She threw her head in the air. ‘Well, saving Rhamin will be easy then! Do you really think they won’t try to kill you?’

  Rasci grimaced. ‘I really don’t know what else I can do. I have said I am going to do it, and now, I am not going to back down. My mind is made up.’

  ‘Then, count me out,’ Roxana snapped as she stood up and walked away. ‘Don’t bother following me. I don’t want to get any more attached to you. I don’t like losing friends I care about.’

  With that, she ran off up the steep bank and disappeared amongst the trees. Rasci knew it was no use following. He had told her that his mind was made up, and she had made her point of view perfectly clear. He watched the moving branches that she had brushed past in her haste to get away. They had stopped swaying a long time before he turned down the mountain and, with a leaden heart, and the two vultures still orbiting high in the sky above him, he headed down to the plains.

  CHAPTER TWENTY THREE

  The trip to the mountain had done nothing to ease Rasci’s mind, but his return to the Darin that evening and the praise and affection from his pack lifted his spirits once again. The mounting excitement, however, failed to raise his confidence. He was tired from his journey, and it was early in the night when he left the pack playing and talking. He went to the darkest corner of the cave to settle down to a troubled sleep.

  Half way through the night he awoke, panting. His dreams, once more, had been a congealed mixture of tangled visions, bringing back all the events of recent days and liquidising them with a mixture of the fears and nightmares that had long troubled him. First he had seen Roxana, through the fog, smiling at him, shaking her head, gesturing for him to follow her into the mist, but then Solin broke through the cloudy veil laughing at him, and telling him that no female would want the fool of all wolves, before disappearing into the mist again, in the opposite direction. Then, as he had seen in other dreams, he saw Rhamin. The Black Wolf and Yeltsa were fighting for their lives, only once again, in his dream, Rasci was with them. There were other wolves milling around, and then the mountain lion sprang on him and tore at his throat. Two vultures landed by his side and began to eat him while he was alive. He shook them off only to find himself shaking off Zelda who was tugging at his fur to wake him. ‘Rasci, wake up. Rasci, wake up,’ she repeated over and over again until eventually, snarling and lashing at her, he exploded back to consciousness. At first he wondered if he was still dreaming. With his eyes open he was still engulfed in total darkness. But then he remembered where he had settled down to sleep.

  ‘Gran? Is that you?’ he asked, weakly, trying to catch his breath, and sniffing her comforting smell.

  ‘Yes, my young wolf. You were dreaming again. But this time I had to wake you. I was frightened.’

  ‘Frightened Gran? You mean for me?’

  ‘Yes Rasci. I have never heard you so troubled. You are going to have to talk about your problems. You can’t keep them gathered up inside your head. You’ll make yourself ill.’

  Rasci slumped back down on the hard floor. ‘Oh, Gran, I don’t know what is becoming of me. Ever since Rhamin disappeared, I have had nothing but dream after dream. Some of them are like seeing things from a distance. Those don’t bother me so much. But others are so mixed up that I don’t know if I am going out of my mind.’ He looked at her in the darkness, not seeing her, but feeling her presence. ‘What’s happening to me Gran? What is to become of me?’

  ‘You are just trying to sort out all the events that have happened to you lately,’ she reassured. ‘You are just getting rid of all your fears and all your inhibitions, dreaming like all wolves do, only you have had too much to cope with and your mind has gone into a state of over activity.’ Zelda lifted her head and prompted him. ‘Come,’ she said gently, ‘Silvah is waiting near the cave entrance. Come and join us and tell us all your news.’

  Rasci did as he was asked, calling at the water hole on the way past, to take on some refreshment. He settled down beside his two companions and began to relate everything he had done, and dreamt. For the first time, he told them about Roxana and how they had met.

  ‘So, when are you inviting Roxana back to meet the pack?’ asked Silvah, eagerly.

  ‘She’s not interested in me,’ Rasci stated bluntly. ‘She is looking to be the alpha female running a pack with her own alpha male. She isn’t interested in a would-be leader who dreams all the time.’

  ‘Did she tell you that?’

  ‘More or less.’

  ‘More or less? You mean you told yourself that,’ said Zelda.

  ‘I am not a leader, Gran, and whatever the pack says, it won’t make me one.’

  ‘Only because you never had aspirations to be a leader. But you have all the qualities of a brave leader. You’re a strong wolf and you’re not afraid to hold your territory or fight for your pack.’

  ‘That’s what she said, Gran.’

  ‘There’s no betrayal by wanting a pack of your own, Rasci. How do you think Romax and I got started?’

  Rasci looked at his old companion. ‘Of course! You must have had your own pack! I never thought!’

  ‘Well, there you are then. Problem solved. We save Rhamin and then we talk to him about you and a new pack. He loves you Rasci. He’s not going to be worried by your turning out to be strong like him.’

  ‘I’ll never be as strong as Rhamin, Gran. I don’t think any wolf ever will!’

  Suddenly, Rasci felt sad. ‘The problem is, Gran, I don’t have a chance of saving Rhamin, really. It’s just a dream; something we all want to happen. I’ll never be able to do it.’ Rasci had finally realised the futility of the whole project. What Roxana had said was absolutely true. But even worse, he realised now that dreams were one thing. But meeting Ben and his father in real life was another. It wasn’t going to be a remote viewing; it was going to be a real meeting, face to face. Other than in his dreams, there was no way he could converse with them in their own language. There was no way to talk them into helpin
g him.

  ‘You can’t give up before you’ve tried,’ Silvah said crossly. ‘Rhamin means as much to me as he does to you. If I had your gift, I would at least have a try. I would go to the farm and try and get through to the farmer. Somehow, we have to get him to help us.’

  It’s worth going that far, Rasci,’ Zelda said in support. ‘At least, give it a try.’

  ‘Is it worth a try, though?’ asked Rasci.

  ‘Well, you have to go back to the farm, anyway,’ Silvah said angrily, ‘because Lexa has already made plans to go with you. You can’t let her down now, can you?’

  Rasci smiled. In his panic to work out his own worries, he had forgotten about his wolf dog. He loved her like the rest of the pack and would die for her the same as he would for any other member of the family. The least he could do for her was to take her to meet her biological mother.

  –––––––

  That day, more relaxed and sure of his motives, Rasci meditated for several hours. He saw Ben again, only this time, he watched the young boy and his sister Margo from a distance. Instead of being there at one particular time, it was as if Rasci was just seeing snippets of what had been happening during the time that he had been away.

  Ben hadn’t heard from his wolf spirit since the visit to his school, but Rasci could see that he wasn’t worried. He watched as Ben told his father that Rasci was bringing Lexa to see him, and that they wanted to see him about saving Rhamin. This time, his father realised that his son wasn’t just day dreaming. There was something in Raymond Rozalski’s face that showed more understanding.

  Rasci saw Mrs. Steadman give Ben a letter to take home to his mother and father. Ben didn’t know why she would want to write to his parents. He hadn’t been misbehaving like his friend had been. He was very nervous when his father picked him up from school in the station wagon and Ben carried the letter in his pocket, his hand on it all the time, until his father dropped him off at the front door of the farm house. Although the thought had crossed his mind, he dare not lose it. ‘Daddy,’ he said eventually, as he was getting out of the station wagon. His father turned to look at him. ‘I have this for you.’ He pulled the folded, sweaty envelope from his trouser pocket and thrust it forward, a look of apprehension on his face. ‘Mrs. Steadman says I must give this to you,’ he said meekly.