Child of Recklessness (Trials of Strength Book 2)

by Matthew R. Bell

  It finally came round to me, and as I stepped up the hill, I drew in a deep breath.

  ‘The last few months have been hard,’ I scoffed, ‘no, hard is too simple a word, too soft. There isn’t any word that can describe what we came through. There isn’t any justification that’ll make it okay, because it’s not. But we did come through. We survived.

  ‘Standing here, now, at the place we’ve chosen to place the people we love, I refuse to feel sad, to let grief and guilt worm their way inside. Not because I don’t care, but because I do. To me it’s disrespectful to think what if. It’s disrespectful to wallow in the death of someone whose last choice in life was for us.’

  Brian and Chris nodded, their attention rapt. Anna forcefully wiped tears from her eyes as she cradled Alex.

  ‘This isn’t a place of death, or broken hearts,’ I continued. ‘When I think of Jane, or my Mum, or Paul, I think of all the good they did. So I refuse to think of this place that way, if anything, this is a place of hope, not death. When I think of our family, I think of hope.’

  I turned back and let my eyes rest on each and every one of the graves. It was a place of hope, and I resolved myself to doing what I had planned in front of the people I had come to love. I made my way down the small hill as everyone turned to go.

  ‘Anna,’ I said, ‘wait.’

  She turned and waited expectantly. I gave Chris a nod, and after a few hesitant seconds he wandered over and lifted Alex from a more than confused Anna. I felt my pocket for the package Brian had gave me.

  ‘I’ve been trying to think of the perfect time and place to do this for the past couple days,’ I chuckled. ‘Being up there, being here, this is the perfect place. A place of hope; filled with the people than mean the most to us.’

  I tried to swallow, to moisten my dry throat. I slouched over to Anna, and stopped a few feet away.

  ‘Anna,’ I whispered, ‘you have no idea how much you mean to me. Chris and I might fight over who’s the leader every other day, but in truth, you’re the centre. Without you, I know I wouldn’t have made it this far.’

  Anna’s eyes glistened in the dark as she tried to figure out what was going on.

  ‘I’ve never met a more brave, selfless and intelligent person,’ I said, before I bent to rest on one knee.

  Anna’s hand flew to her mouth, and tears that had gathered, fell. I slipped my hand into my pocket and pulled the paper wrapped object out. I unravelled it, and resting in my palm was a small velvet box.

  ‘Anna,’ I stuttered as I stared into her brilliant blue eyes. ‘Will you marry me?’

  The silence that followed seemed to stretch as everyone held their breaths. Panic suddenly smacked my stomach, and for a second, I was sure the answer would be no.

  ‘Yes,’ Anna gasped. ‘Yes.’

  I hadn’t realised my own eyes had been filling with water, but with Anna’s answer, they overflowed. I took the ring out the box, a smile plastered on my lips, a feeling of euphoria I’d never before felt filled my insides, and slipped it shakily onto her finger. Brian and Chris started to clap, and Alex’s beautiful gurgle filled the night. I stood, grabbed Anna and spun her through the air.

  We laughed as our lips collided.

  The Wedding

  It was the day before.

  The wedding.

  Part of me still couldn’t believe it, that after everything, Anna and I would have a happy ending. It was nearing the end of April, over a month since I’d proposed to Anna in front of everyone we loved, dead and alive. I felt the same rush I had then, when the world had slowed and one simple word made me the happiest man alive. Well, in my eyes anyway.

  ‘Damn it!’ I gasped and threw down the two pieces of wood I’d been holding. ‘Anna, help?’

  I could hear the own pleading in my voice, but I didn’t care. I’d been hard at work for almost two hours, labouring, sweating, all to build a new cot for Alex to sleep in. The old one had been broken, by Alex himself. Waking from a fit of nightmares he had thrashed and flailed, and surprising his mother and father, smashed his old cot to pieces. If we had any doubts Alex was different, that cleared them up.

  It also drove home how careful Anna and I had to be. One temper tantrum coupled with one flying arm and one of us could end up in hospital. I couldn’t help but chuckle every time the thought crossed my mind, even though it wasn’t particularly funny.

  ‘What’s up?’ Anna said as she entered Alex’s bedroom, the owner of the room in her arms.

  The cabin Chris has given us was absolutely perfect. Secluded, yes, surrounded by dense woodland, yes, without connection to mobiles or the internet, yes, and that was precisely why we loved it, our own personal paradise. The cabin did have a landline, a formerly white phone that had yellowed, and that cut out frequently. But it didn’t matter. All that mattered was our family, our peace, our lives.

  I turned my head and smiled at the beautiful woman before me. The sun beat through the bedroom’s window, winter had finally given way to spring, and spring was verging on summer. Although whether or not the days of the sun we were having were our summer and that the torrential rain would return during what was supposed to be summer, was still up for debate. Rays brightened Anna’s dark red hair, and her electric-blue eyes gazed down questioningly.

  ‘This is impossible,’ I said and waved my hand over the pile of objects meant to fit together, but wouldn’t.

  ‘Isn’t there instructions?’ Anna asked as she manoeuvred Alex round to her side.

  I nodded, lifted the slip of paper and said, ‘Yep, but it’s not in English.’

  Anna frowned and took the paper with her free hand. I mulled over the irony of the instructions, their supposed purpose to help, rather than what they actually did, which was confuse, and hinder.

  ‘They are in English,’ Anna chuckled and I waited.

  I couldn’t help the grin that twitched its way across my face, as Anna’s entire forehead crunched.

  ‘Oh,’ she said and I laughed.

  ‘See?’ I said.

  The instructions, of course, were in English, but there was the irony of it that was laughable.

  ‘Okay,’ Anna mulled. ‘Let me have a go.’

  Two hours, a lot of sweat, and more cursing than was strictly needed later, and the cot finally stood solid. Sweat made its way down both of our backs, and our eyes were alight with success. All we had to hope for now was that Alex didn’t have another nightmare. That wiped the smile off my face, and I grumbled.

  Anna left to feed Alex, and I slouched towards the bathroom. I did my business before turning on the bathroom’s sink to wash my hands. There was a cabinet directly in front of me, a mirror its door. I could feel the object behind it calling me, the weight of it heavy in my mind. I dried my hands and opened the door. Simple toiletries lined the shelves, but I looked past them to the slightly off wood at the back.

  ‘Forget it,’ I whispered. ‘Just shut the door, and leave.’

  But I couldn’t. I couldn’t tear my gaze away. I reached in and prised the plank of wood off, revealing a hidden hollow in the wall. There, nestled in the dark was the small vial I’d taken after my fight with Hazel. The liquid drug my own father had created; the drug that altered DNA, and sent you crazy. Or, if you were me, an experiment, a guinea pig, it was a vial that gave you impossibilities.

  I picked it out and stared at the translucent liquid it contained. I hadn’t really mourned my loss of abilities. They’d been helpful, miracles, but I’d lived most of my life without them that it was easy to fall back into normality. I was even a little relieved. But I still feared. I was still terrified of the future, of the doubt that itched away in my skull. What if the fight wasn’t over? What if I needed to be the way I was, would the liquid I held return what I’d lost?

  You’ve been betrayed! Athena! Find Athena!

  My father’s desperate ranting flowed through my head and brought with it the burning headache it always did. Betrayed? Athena? Nothing made any s
ense, then again, nothing my father said had. But what if he was warning me? What if he’d been telling the truth?

  ‘Hey,’ Anna chuckled from outside the bathroom, ‘you better be doing a number one in there.’

  I jumped, as if I’d been doing something guilty. I slipped the vial back in its hole and covered it in a rush. I swung the mirror shut, and breathed deeply to quell my thrashing heart. Once I felt comfortable, I opened the door and smiled, kissed Anna on the cheek, and let her slip past.

  She didn’t know about the vial, a lie by omission. I didn’t want to worry her over it. Her sweet perfume hung in the air, and it filled me with warmth. The dark thoughts that clouded my mind receded, and I focused on Anna. She was my tether, my link of sanity that kept paranoia from descending like a hungry vulture. Anna had been right when she said Richard Bishop was nothing but a liar, a liar who had used his own son to further his ambitions, even if it cost me my life. He had obviously cracked at the end, broken over his impending defeat, and did his best to sow the seeds of fear forever in my mind.

  I wouldn’t let him affect me, wouldn’t let his influence carry on even after his death to plague my new life.

  I had no idea how long I’d spent in the bathroom, staring at the vial, but I was surprised to see the sun setting. I opened the cabin’s front door, and stepped onto its porch. Leaning against the wooden railing, I cast my eyes up to the sky. It had started to darken, a deep blue that was almost black. But the horizon was alight with fiery colours. I took a deep breath, and stretched my neck.

  This is my life now. Anna, Alex, beautiful skies and a peaceful, normal life.

  I heard the door behind me open, and Anna slipped her arms around me from behind. I leant back into her.

  ‘Alex asleep?’ I asked.

  ‘Out like a light,’ Anna replied against my back.

  We stood there, no longer needing to speak. The two of us together was perfect; the sky was perfect, the wedding tomorrow would be perfect. Anna and I were meant to be, had come through so much and still were stronger than anything.

  I slipped round and faced her. She smiled up at me, and I stooped to place my lips against hers.

  ‘Big day tomorrow,’ I sighed, excitement worming its way around my stomach, like angry butterflies on crack.

  ‘Biggest,’ Anna replied, still staring into my eyes.

  ‘The day you become Mrs Bishop,’ I teased.

  Anna laughed and said, ‘I think I might keep my name. I don’t want to lose it.’

  ‘Maybe I’ll take your name?’ I replied.

  Anna started to pull me towards the door.

  ‘How about we hyphenate them?’ she said. ‘Anna Gordon-Bishop.’

  ‘Lucas Gordon-Bishop,’ I smiled.

  Anna laughed, and it was decided. I tugged her back into my arms and kissed her again, more fiercely. Our body’s clasped together like magnets, and our arms roamed each other hungrily. I broke off to open the door, and then surprised Anna. I lifted her into my arms and turned sideways to get through the entry to our home.

  ‘Let’s get to bed, Mrs Gordon-Bishop.’

  *

  ‘Rise and shine!’ Chris called as he grabbed my shoulders and shook.

  I came up out of the contented and deep sleep I’d been having and looked around with squinted eyes. The sun’s rays lit up the room like it was on fire and my eyes snapped open.

  ‘Shit,’ I cursed and flailed as I tried to jump out of bed only to fall.

  Chris’s face was wrinkled in a wide smile, and I righted myself quickly.

  I have not just slept in on my wedding day. I have not just slept in on my wedding day.

  Anna was noticeably gone from our room, our simple, uncluttered square space. The child monitor was on the nightstand, but it had been turned off.

  ‘Did I just sleep in on my wedding day?’ I cried.

  ‘No,’ Chris chuckled. ‘It’s only eight in the morning.’

  I exhaled a long sigh of air and fell back on the bed.

  Thank God.

  Brian and Chris had spent most of their time back at the hotel. They’d been monitoring everything: The internet, police, government officials when they could, all to make sure our lives had finally, undoubtedly, returned to us. A few days earlier Chris had informed us that all the crimes we’d been linked with had been transferred to New Dawn, and that Digilock had been seized and cordoned off. No one seemed to be doing anything there, but my father’s group had, as far as we could tell, definitely been dismantled.

  The media had run with it for a while. New Dawn the anarchist group that had tried to cause instability. But there were no words on experiments, no insinuation of anything the group had truly done. It had been over a month now, and the story was practically dead.

  ‘What are you doing running in here like a crazy man!?’ I gasped.

  ‘It’s the big day!’ Chris cheered and grabbed my arms. He tried to pull me back to my feet, but I resisted by becoming dead weight.

  ‘I won’t make it if you give me a heart attack,’ I grumbled.

  But butterflies were already taking hold on my stomach, and a wide grin had taken residence on my face. I pounced onto my feet, surprising Chris, and grabbed the large, scarred man into a hug.

  ‘I’m getting married!’ I cried and let go.

  ‘Well you better shower first, bedhead,’ Chris grimaced. ‘Anna’s done and in Alex’s room getting ready. Alex and Brian are with her, and if you even think about going in there….’

  I was already heading for the bathroom, almost skipping. I couldn’t help but glance down at the door to Alex’s bedroom along the wall from ours. The door was closed though and I entered the bathroom. I twisted the tap and the water blasted from the shower. I waited as it heat up, but couldn’t seem to keep still. The only word that could describe the swirl of emotions waging war inside my body would be euphoria. It didn’t even cross my mind that the vial of doubt was mere feet away.

  The water warmed, and I showered. Once out, I wrapped a towel around my waist, and joined Chris outside in the kitchen. He handed me a mug of coffee, and I gulped it as I ran back to my room.

  Alright, take a breath.

  I closed the door, and sat my mug beside the child monitor. My suit lay sprawled on the bed. It was simple, but elegant. Black everything apart from the white shirt. We had contemplated me wearing a kilt, something traditional, but eventually I’d just chosen the trousers. I hadn’t seen Anna’s dress, but I bristled with anticipation.

  It was going to be the best day of my life. Completing the formation of our family, reciting our vows, each imbued with the promise of a future, a future of them all being together.

  ‘You ready?’ Chris’s muffled voice came from behind the door.

  I checked my dressed self over in the nightstand’s attached mirror. I nodded, smiled at my reflection, and almost hysterically, I fought the lump in my throat and happy tears in my eyes.

  Come on.

  I checked once more, headed to the door and opened it.

  ‘I’m ready,’ I said.

  The Future

  I stood in the small clearing behind the cabin. Trees surrounded the area, shadowing us from the sun, but there was enough brilliant light that I could almost see every detail. Not in the way I used to, with heightened senses, but enough to focus my dancing thoughts. We had kept everything simple. A trail of flattened earth led up to three white wooden stairs. Once ascended, you stood on a small white platform, an archway of intricately weaved wood and flowers towered over your head.

  Okay, remember to breath. In, out. In, out. Crap. Give me a crazy, super strong monster and I’m fine. Standing here, and I’m-I’m….. In, out. In, out.

  I focused on filling my lungs, but when Brian moved with Alex in his arms over to the table down from the platform, everything I’d gathered rushed from my throat. On top of the table was an old CD player. Brian inserted a disk, and closed the lid before he hit play.

  The music hit me l
ike a punch to the stomach.

  It was soft, melodic and filled the air; The Bridal Chorus from Wagner’s Lohengrin.

  The cabin’s back door opened, and Anna and Chris stepped out. I could feel my mouth collapse as Anna linked her arm through Chris’s, and they descended the backdoor stairs. Anna glowed in the sunlight. Her hair was tied up into cascading locks that managed to stay away from her eyes. Her dress…

  Wow…

  Her dress looked like flowing silk, like a milky white sea that rippled with each step. The dress was adorned with various floral designs up the side, and when my eyes reached her neck, the area just below was translucent.

  Anna was a Goddess.

  They reached the bottom of the path and a massive smile clung to Anna’s face. She hadn’t worn a vail, preferring just to keep it simple. Chris guided her up the platform, and when they reached the top, Anna turned and kissed Chris on the cheek. She then moved to face me.

  ‘You’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen,’ I whispered, unable to blink.

  Instead of a witty remark, Anna blushed, something I’d never seen her do. After all our troubles, it was easy to forget that she was a girl, and I was a boy, a boy who loved the girl.

  Chris took his place below and in the centre of the archway. Instead of getting a stranger to marry us, Brian had jumped online and ordained Chris. I hadn’t even thought that possible, but apparently it was. All the better for us, to be married by someone who meant the world to us. Someone, who in hindsight, had been more of a father to me than my real one had been. He nodded to Brian, still down a ways from the platform and the music stopped.

  ‘You guys have come a long way,’ Chis spoke into the silence. ‘The five of us are here today to help join two people who cannot be broken. Whose bond has only ever strengthened, and who could both kick my arse.’

  We all laughed. Chris’s speech managed to be both formal and personal.