Magic in Our Hearts

by Jeanne Mccann

  Through her own irresponsible behavior, she destroyed all of her dreams. She has endured seven painful surgeries, and months of recovery in the hospital. I honestly don’t know how she survived that ordeal.” Brett’s mother grieved deeply for her injured daughter, and her face was etched with sadness.

  “I’m so sorry. She didn’t deserve what happened to her no matter what decisions she made. If I agree to work with her and she demands that I leave, am I to stay on anyway?”

  “You’re going to be working for me, not Brett. No matter what she says, you will stay. But it’s you who’ll have to deal with her refusal to do much of anything to help herself.” Mrs. Camden’s voice was firm and direct, and her expectations were crystal clear.

  “Okay. If I agree to take this on, I’m going to ask for a few concessions.” Taylor couldn’t take on this challenge if she wasn’t given complete control over the entire situation. That was the only way she could work and have any chance of helping Brett.

  “Name them.”

  “I want to live in the same space with Brett. I can’t spend just a couple of hours a day helping her and then leave. And we need to be left alone as much as possible. I also want to have control of her diet and meals.”

  “Done. When can you start? I don’t have much time left, and I want to see my daughter healthy before I die.” Mrs. Camden had hidden strength that now became evident. She would do whatever was necessary to save her daughter.

  The statement was so matter of fact that Taylor wasn’t sure how to respond, but it was the hint of pain in Mrs. Camden’s eyes that made Taylor stand up and move directly in front of her. “I’m so sorry about your illness.”

  “I am too, because I’m probably going to miss seeing Brett get her strength and spirit back. She’s the only family I have left, and I don’t want to leave her in such pain.”

  “I’ll do my very best, and I can start after this weekend. Do you want me in Boulder?”

  “Yes. She has a house there and Brett has been living in it. I’ve hired a small staff to help her, a cook and a housekeeper, not that they’ve been able to help very much. Brett refuses to eat much of anything. She much prefers to drink. And her cleanliness leaves a lot to be desired.” The words were uttered quietly. Anger and pain made them even more poignant.

  “Will you be there?”

  “Yes, but in a separate house. I’ll honor all of your requests, but I would like to see my daughter occasionally.”

  “Of course.”

  “I’ll make arrangements for your airfare and arrival. Is Sunday okay for your flight?”

  “That’s fine. When are you going to tell Brett that I’ve been hired?”

  “I’ll arrange for you to be picked up at the airport when you arrive and have you brought to my home. Then the two of us will tell her together.” Both women knew that the meeting was going to be extremely difficult for everyone, and Taylor was glad that Mrs. Camden would be there. She had no idea how Brett was going to respond.

  “I’ll pay you very well, and all food and expenses will be taken care of for as long as it takes.” Mrs. Camden stood up and looked into the stunning blue eyes that she had seen in Brett’s pictures of Taylor. Brett was right. Taylor was a beautiful woman, and it was obvious that she was still very much in love with Brett.

  That much Mrs. Camden knew. It pleased her no end.

  “Thank you.”

  “I owe you my thanks. My daughter is slowly killing herself, and I don’t have enough time left to help her. I know you can.” Taylor was hoping she could help both Brett and her mother. She would do everything in her power to improve things for both of them.

  CHAPTER 6

  Taylor saw the sign with her name printed on it in large, looping letters as soon as she exited the airport. A uniformed chauffeur helped her into the town car and loaded her luggage into the trunk. The rest of her things were being shipped later in the week. She sat anxiously in the backseat as the driver announced that the trip would take a little over thirty minutes and then fell silent. Taylor was beginning to panic as she reconsidered what she had committed to do. She almost missed the beautiful city that they drove through. The city was clean and businesses sprawled out in an inviting way, but it was the mountains in the distance that caught her eye. They were covered with snow and their jagged peaks were majestic. She could see why Brett had found skiing so appealing. The mountains had a way of calling to a person. The streets were wide and the majority of the cars on the road were SUVs with ski racks on top. Taylor counted four ski rental companies in a two-block section of town, several quaint restaurants, and a large shopping mall. After traveling for almost a mile out of town they turned into a suburb of high-end homes. The houses were large and sat comfortably on mani-cured lawns. Ten houses from the entrance, they pulled into the driveway of a colonial style white house with black shutters.

  “Ms. Aronson, I’m to pick up Ms. Camden and then we will we will have another twenty minute drive.”

  Taylor watched the chauffeur go to the door and then escort Mrs. Camden to the limousine.

  “Hello, Taylor, how was your flight?”

  “It was fine, Mrs. Camden. I like your city. It’s very charming.”

  “It is unless it’s overflowing with weekend skiers. Just getting to the mall can take an hour. Are you ready to go to Brett’s house?”

  “Yes, I am.” Taylor shivered as she thought about Brett. She was also terribly nervous about confronting her again after so many years. She had been able to avoid her until this moment, and she knew the meeting was going to be painful.

  She also expected Brett to be furious.

  Taylor was dead right!

  “Get the fuck out of my house!” Brett slouched between her crutches, her hair long and shaggy, and her eyes dark, sunken pits in her face. The tee shirt she wore was wrinkled and soiled, hanging loosely on her frame. The sight of her former lover all but knocked the wind out of Taylor. She had to bite her lip to prevent herself from crying out loud.

  “Brett, Taylor is here to work with you as a physical therapist. She’s going to help you with your rehabilitation. “Brett’s mother had remained calm as she faced her furious daughter.

  “God damn it, Mother, how many times have I told you? I’m not going to get any better? Don’t you get that? There is no recovery; this is the best it’s ever going to be. And why her? I don’t want her here!” Brett railed at her mother. And then to Taylor, “Leave now! There’s nothing you can do here.”

  Taylor was too shocked by her first glimpse of Brett to do anything but stare.

  The photograph she’d been shown couldn’t compare to the actual sight of the woman. Brett was gaunt, her eyes dull, her hair filthy. She was wearing a pair of baggy, wrinkled sweats and a torn, dirty tee shirt. She leaned heavily on her crutches as her eyes shot bolts of rage at her mother and Taylor.

  “Brett, won’t you please try for me?” Mrs. Camden’s softly spoken plea shut Brett’s anger down completely.

  Brett’s eyes filled with tears as she walked awkwardly toward her mother, the crutches keeping her steady. “Mother, I would do anything for you, but no one can perform miracles. I did this to myself, and I have to live with it. I’m not going to get any better than this. I’ve accepted that, why can’t you?” Taylor held back her tears as she witnessed the scene between mother and daughter. There was no doubt they loved each other deeply. Mrs. Camden’s hand reached out and stroked her daughter’s cheek, her hand gentle against her daughter’s face. “Brett, I love you so much, and I know you love me. Do this for me, won’t you please? Just try it for a little while.” Brett could not refuse her mother. She asked so very little of her, and Brett did love her dearly. She was the only person Brett trusted. “For you.”

  Taylor had to turn away from them, choking back her tears. There was so much love between them and so much anguish.

  “Taylor will be staying here with you while she works with you.”

  “No!” Brett screamed,
as she swung away from her mother, her face once more dark with anger.

  “I need to be here, Brett,” Taylor spoke for the first time since her arrival minutes earlier.

  Brett shivered as the familiar voice penetrated her Scotch-fogged brain. “I don’t want you here.”

  “I know, but I need to be here.” Taylor gazed into the dark, familiar eyes.

  There was no way she was going to walk away now. One look at Brett had renewed her resolve.

  Brett stared long and hard at Taylor before slowly turning her back without speaking a word. That dismissive movement hurt Taylor more than angry words.

  It showed complete indifference to her, and Taylor felt the tears well up again, this time for a different reason. It took all of her composure to keep from weeping.

  Mrs. Camden spoke calmly. “Taylor, I’ll show you your room and then introduce you to Helen and Fran. Either one of them can get you anything you might need. Helen is an amazing cook, and she’s prepared to make whatever meals you request. She and Fran have both been told that you’re in charge. They’ll take their orders from you.”

  Taylor listened, but her eyes were on Brett who stumbled out of the living room through a doorway and slammed the door shut. She finally turned and looked directly at Mrs. Camden. “She breaks my heart.” No other words could have shaken Mrs. Camden more than those. Her arms reached for Taylor and she hugged her tightly, knowing in her own mind she had done the right thing. She tenderly held Taylor as she cried. After a few moments Taylor pulled away and wiped her face clear of tears.

  “Show me my room, please. I need to get started as soon as possible.” Taylor straightened her shoulders and stiffened her resolve. She had a lot of work ahead of her if she was going to help Brett.

  “This way, please.”

  Taylor carried her suitcase up a short flight of stairs to the second story and a large bedroom with connecting bath. The view from the window revealed a scene of magnificent snowy mountains. The back of the house had a lawn that stretched out about seventy-five feet where it butted up to scrubby trees and foothills at the base of the mountains. The room was spacious, the double bed covered by a down comforter in pale yellow with green sheets and pillowcases. It was a soothing room with a natural wood dresser and armoire. The walls were a soft green moiré, and colorful floral paintings adorned the walls. A small desk was placed just under the window so the picturesque view was perfectly framed.

  “The telephone is on the desk and I’ve set up a separate line for you. There’s also a data port for a computer, if you need one. The bathroom is through this door.”

  Taylor followed the gracious woman into a bathroom that took her breath away. It was marble with a glass-enclosed shower and a deep soaking tub. The room was done in the same soothing pale green and yellow colors, including the large, fluffy towels. Someone had done an impeccable job of putting the room together.

  “This is a beautiful home.”

  “Thanks. Brett spent about a year designing and decorating it when I gave it to her.”

  “This is Brett’s home?” Taylor was surprised.

  Mrs. Camden smiled, a smile filled with pain and love. “Yes, she told me she was making a home worthy of a partner. Her plan was to fall in love and live here for the rest of her life.”

  “When did she do this?”

  “Eight years ago. It stood almost empty after she finished remodeling. She said she didn’t want anyone to live here until she found her soul mate. She didn’t move in until after she was released from the hospital the last time.” Taylor’s heart shriveled in her chest. “Then she’s found someone?” Roselin had to prevent herself from smiling when she heard the worry in Taylor’s voice. “No. Brett no longer believes she deserves to be loved.” Taylor was once again overcome with sadness at how much Brett had suffered, how much she had given up. “I’m surprised she gave permission for me to stay here.”

  “She didn’t. Brett will refuse me nothing. I’m afraid I tricked her into this arrangement.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I made her promise that I could hire one more physical therapist to work with her. I knew she would go along with me because of my illness.”

  “That’s, that’s …”

  “Emotional blackmail and I would do it again if it will help my daughter heal.” Mrs. Camden met Taylor’s eyes directly. She loved her only child unconditionally.

  “You didn’t tell her it was me?”

  “No, I did not.”

  “Why?” Taylor had to understand Mrs. Camden’s actions.

  “Because she would have refused.”

  “She may not work with me.” Taylor flinched as if she’d been hit.

  “She will. I have complete faith in you, Taylor.”

  “I hope you’re right.” Taylor had serious doubts as to whether she could get Brett to do anything with her. Her show of indifference toward Taylor had cut to the bone. She felt she would have very little influence over the physically and emotionally scarred woman. She wasn’t sure how she was going to reach her.

  “I am, dear.”

  CHAPTER 7

  Brett slumped down in her chair and tipped back the cut glass crystal tumbler as she swilled down the last of the Scotch. Seeing Taylor after all this time had inundated her with pain. She hadn’t seen her for years, but she hadn’t forgotten a single detail about her. She was furious that Taylor had to see her in this condition.

  She had kept everyone at bay, so no one knew how far along her self-destruction had gone. Now, the one woman she had ever loved was in her home, planning to work with her. How ironic was that! It was going to kill Brett being around Taylor.

  Reaching across the dust-covered table, she grabbed the open bottle of Scotch and refilled her glass. The large room was dark and gloomy. The only light was from a single lamp next to the rumpled, unmade bed. It was a dark cave, one that Brett hid in and where she drank herself slowly into oblivion. The only thing that helped Brett get through her days was her drinking. She was in constant pain and her body was covered with scars. Even walking was difficult, and she had no reason to get better. Her mother was dying and she had no one else in her life. She felt the sting of unshed tears and a wave of self-pity as she remembered the look of shock on Taylor’s face. She must have been totally disgusted by what she saw.

  Brett couldn’t even look at her own body in the mirror. She had destroyed it.

  “God, I can’t do this anymore,” Brett sobbed, as she laid her head down on the table and cried uncontrollably. She lamented lost love, lost opportunities, and her mother’s imminent death. She wept until she fell asleep, in part due to the alcohol and her lack of food. Her unwashed body slumped against the table in restless slumber as she fought against the alcohol that barely anesthetized her from her pain and anguish.

  While Brett slept restlessly, Taylor was introduced to both of the women who took care of Brett’s home and was told that dinner would be served whenever she wanted since Brett didn’t take regular meals. The two women were as different as night and day. Fran was tall and slender, with dark brown hair interspersed with grey. Helen was short and stocky, due largely to her incredible cooking skills and her healthy appetite. Her hair was mostly grey, peppered with a few light brown strands and tied up on her head in a casual knot. Both women were loyal to Brett and wanted nothing more than to help Taylor help her recover.

  “What can we do?” Fran and Helen sat at the kitchen table with Taylor. Roselin had left her with the two women and promised to call Taylor later that evening.

  “You can help me get Brett on a regular schedule of meals and exercise. She needs structure to help her get back on track. She also needs to stop drinking and get the alcohol out of her system.”

  “Good luck! She’s usually drunk by midday, and she doesn’t eat a thing.” Fran remarked. She and Helen had all but given up trying to keep Brett from drinking.

  “She will have to come around in time. Helen, do you mind if I work
with you on some menus? I’ve found that good, healthy food, heavy on protein, helps with the recuperation.” Helen was a sixty-year-old Welsh woman whom Taylor liked immediately. She lived in the house in separate quarters attached to the back of the kitchen. Fran did most of the housekeeping and went home to her husband at the end of the day. It was not difficult to keep the place spic and span, except for Brett’s bedroom. She wouldn’t let Fran or Helen into her room.

  “I’ll do anything miss, if you can get some food into that one. She’s skin and bones and refuses to eat anything at all most days. When she does eat, she just picks at things. I’ve tried everything I know how to do.”

  “She’ll eat,” Taylor announced with determination. Brett was going to get better, even if it killed Taylor. She was firmly resolved about what she had to accomplish.

  “Can you get her to let Fran clean that pit of a room she hides in? It’s filthy, and the only time she lets us in is when her mother forces her to. It’s a crime for her to live like this.”

  “She’ll let you clean it. Brett doesn’t know it yet, but I can be just as stubborn as she is,” Taylor remarked, her blue eyes sparking.

  “Good luck, Ms. Taylor. We love her and it’s sad to see her drinking so heavily.”

  “How does she get her alcohol?”

  “We pick it up with the groceries and things. If we don’t pick it up she has it delivered or a friend will drop it off.”

  “As of today, no more alcohol is coming into this place. If she asks you to get any more, come to me. I’ll deal with her.” Taylor hurried out of the kitchen intent on locating Brett and speaking directly to her. Fran and Helen exchanged grins as they watched her heading in the direction of what they called Brett’s dungeon. They were expecting an imminent explosion.

  “There are going to be some fireworks around here,” Helen commented, as she watched Taylor wrench the door open.