A Dish of Stones

by Valentina Hepburn

  “Is that tea ready yet, Kate?” Angie called from the front room. “What the bloody hell is going on in there? Get on with it, can’t you?”

  “There’s her master’s voice,” said Emma. “You’d better jump to it or she’ll be getting the whip out.”

  “Literally,” they whispered.

  Chapter 8

  “What would you like for your own life, Kate, if you could choose?”

  “Anything?”

  “Of course anything.”

  “That’s really easy, Aunty Ivy.”

  “Go on then.”

  “A straw hat...with a bright scarlet ribbon tied around the top and a bow at the back. A tea-dress like girls used to wear, with big red poppies all over the fabric. A pair of flat, white pumps, comfortable but really pretty. A bicycle with a basket on the front. In the basket is a loaf of fresh bread, cheese, fruit oh...and a bottle of sparkly wine, you know, like posh people drink.

  “I’m cycling down a lane. There are no lorries or cars or bicycles. No people – just me. The sun is shining through the trees, making patterns on the ground. At the end of the lane is a gate, sort of hidden between the bushes and trees. I stop at the gate, get off the bike and wheel it into the garden.

  “In the garden there are flowers of all kinds, especially roses. They’re my favourite. I walk down the little path to a cottage. It’s not big, just big enough. The front door needs painting and has a little stained glass window at the top. I take the food out of the basket and go through the door.

  “Inside, everything is clean, pretty and bright. There are vases of flowers on every surface and it smells sweet, like lemon cake. At the end of the room are French windows. They need painting too, but it doesn’t matter. I go through the French windows into a beautiful garden. Even more flowers there...and a veranda. On the veranda is an old rocking chair with patchwork cushions and next to it a little table that has an oriental tablecloth with gold tassels covering it. I put the food on the table and pour the wine into a glass. I sit in the rocking chair and close my eyes and think to myself... this is my place.”

  “Hello, luvvy. How’s that mother of yours? I haven’t seen her in ages.” Kate was startled by the sound of a voice interrupting her thoughts. Dawdling home from school lost in her dreams, she’d been fantasising about Stephen as she had every day since their first meeting at The Coffee Kisses Cafe. Only one more day to go then I have to make a decision, she’d been thinking when Ivy Daly had dragged her thoughts back to the pavement in Sunningdale Terrace. She felt disappointed at the abrupt ending to her dream and would have much rather stayed in the perfect, uncomplicated scenario she had invented for herself and Stephen. The events in her daydream always led to the same conclusion: The kiss. “Hi, Aunty Ivy. How are you?”

  “'I’m fine, love.” The huge woman puffed and panted as she fell into step next to Kate. “But how are you? I was only saying to my Ray the other morning how different things were now that Joe was gone. And I never see your mother. Is she all right?” She looked Kate straight in the eye and Kate returned the look as best she could. She wondered if Ivy knew about Angie.

  Ivy Daly and Angie McGuire had been close friends in the beginning. When the McGuires moved into the house opposite her own, the big friendly woman had immediately taken the young family under her wing. She had introduced Angie to all the young mums in the area and had provided a shoulder to cry on when it was needed. She had successfully raised five children of her own and there wasn’t a situation invented that she hadn’t dealt with. She counted her expertise and experience with children as her greatest achievement.

  When Angie had given birth to Emma she’d been a wonderful neighbour and had looked after Kate when Joe and Angie were at the hospital with their new infant. Kate knew she had been a true and loyal friend to them. She didn’t understand how Angie could disregard her and treat her so badly. Tears suddenly welled in her eyes. Swiftly, she brushed them away with the back of her hand but it was too late.

  “There, there ducky,” Ivy said quietly, fishing around in the depths of a gargantuan shopping bag she always carried with her. She pulled out a handkerchief that had seen better days. “I knew it,” she said, triumphantly. “I said to my Ray, there’s something wrong over there, something very wrong. Just use this old hanky, sweetheart. Sorry it’s not very clean but it’s better than using your sleeve. Oh, Kate, please don’t cry. You come home with your Aunty Ivy. I’ll see to you. I’ll look after you. I’m your Aunty Ivy, always have been, always will be.”

  A shadow passed across her face that wobbled with emotion. She patted Kate’s arm with a chubby hand. “You come home with me darlin’ and you can tell me what’s happening.” She raised her hand to stop Kate protesting. “Now don’t say no to me, Katie. You don’t know how worried I’ve been these last few months. You needn’t try to hide it from me.” She lowered her voice and put her head thoughtfully over to one side. “Do you think I haven't seen her sneaking over to the offy on Princess Street? I said to my Ray, she isn’t going over there for lemonade I know. What’s worried me so much is whether you and Emma are being properly looked after. And you daren’t interfere when you’re only a neighbour but it doesn’t stop you from being worried. I know it’s really nothing to do with Ray and me but we've got our feelings. Now. You’re coming with me and that’s an end to it.”

  “Aunty Ivy, I can’t,” Kate said quietly. “Mum’ll go mad.”

  “Oh, will she now. She’ll go mad will she, just because you’re coming to see your Aunty Ivy? Well sod ‘er. Sod ‘er and be damned. She’s let me down. I thought she was my friend. And she’s letting you down as well, that’s all I know. You’re coming with me, Kate McGuire. I’m going to make you a big bowl of bread and milk with a cinnamon stick in it and you’re going to have a blanket round you and you’re going to sit in front of my fire and that’s final.”

  Kate shrugged and sighed. She knew it was no good to argue with Ivy once she’d made her mind up about something. Ivy put a comforting arm around her shoulders and walked her homewards.

  ***

  Kate sat in a big old-fashioned armchair by a roaring fire in the untidy living room. Her face was flushed from the enveloping warmth and she loved it. She hadn’t felt so secure, so warm, so loved since Joe left. Around her knees and tucked up around her back was a large blue and green tartan blanket, worn ragged in places where so many had used it for solace. Kate wondered how many times it had comforted someone; how many pairs of shoulders it had been lovingly wrapped around. Ivy gave her a bowl of steaming bread and milk she'd sprinkled with spices, a generous spoonful of brown sugar and a cinnamon stick to stir it. “Eat up, dear.” Ivy chucked her under her chin and encouraged her with a loving smile. “It’ll do you good,” she said, rubbing her hands together, pleased that Kate looked so settled.

  “My kids love milky-bread. When you’re feeling down or you’re chilled through it gets right to the cockles of your heart and warms them up nicely. It beats your brandies or your whiskies every time. Milky-bread does the perfect job.” Kate smiled gratefully to her and cupped her hands around the hot bowl. The heat in the room had seeped into her and was making her drowsy. I could stay here forever, she thought.

  She remembered there had always been love in this house. Not much of anything else it was true, but affection and warmth by the bucket load. After thirty years of marriage, Ivy and Ray were still very much in love and he still looked at her with a twinkle in his eye. She towered over her husband and was rounder and broader too. Ray was slight and scrawny with hair growing out of his ears and a thin moustache: a dependable man who never said a bad word about anyone. Together they had raised a family of three girls and two boys, all brought up on a shoestring, making do with handed-down clothes and jumble-sale buys. The children never complained. They had no reason to.

  “How are you feeling now, love?” Ivy asked Kate gently. “Do you want any more?” she asked her, indicating the empty bowl.

  “N
o thank you, Aunty Ivy. I’ve had plenty. And you were right. I do feel a lot better now.” Ivy looked pleased. She sat down in the chair next to Kate’s and took her hand. “Good girl. I thought it would help. Now, Kate, I think you and I need to have a little talk. I know you don’t want to talk about your mum, but...well I’m worried about you and Emma. I’m worried about your mum too, but I don’t think she’ll take too kindly to me coming over to offer my help. I expect she’d think I was a busy-body and sticking my nose in where it wasn't wanted.” Kate gazed at her. How was she to answer this kind woman who only wanted to help her? The temptation to lay-open her feelings and fears about her life at home was very strong. She wanted to tell her about the beatings and about how she missed her dad so much that it hurt, but she was afraid if she did she wouldn’t be able to turn the clock back. It could be the catalyst of everything changing in their life, and she needed to leave the door open for Joe’s return.

  She couldn’t possibly gauge what was in Ivy’s mind and it was a risk she felt she couldn’t take. Ivy might tell the authorities about them, thinking this well-meant action would be best for all of them, not knowing this was the last thing they wanted. If the worst happened Kate realised she would have to live with herself knowing if she’d only kept her mouth shut things would have remained the same. As awful as the situation was at home she, Emma and Angie were still together. She couldn't betray her family ties. You didn’t do that to family. At least when Joe came home they would be waiting for him together and things would go back to the way they were before he left and they would be happy again.

  The door to the living-room opened and Ray poked his head into the room. “Here,” he said. “Look who I found on the doorstep.” Emma stood next to him looking self-conscious. Her eyes went straight to Kate’s. “I think you should come home now, Kate. Mum knows you’re here. She said to say she was worried because you didn’t come home on time and it’s dark now.” She looked purposefully at her sister and Kate nodded. “I’m coming. Go and tell Mum I’m on my way.” Emma smiled weakly. “Bye, Aunty Ivy.”

  “Bye-bye, Emma pet. You come and visit your Aunty Ivy one day soon now.”

  Ray frowned when he saw that Kate had been sitting with their old blanket around her. Then he spotted the empty bowl on the hearth with the soggy cinnamon stick at the bottom. “Er. You all right, Katie,” he asked her softly.

  “I’m fine thank you, Uncle Ray.”

  “Right,” he said, nodding. He thought he was probably treading on women’s territory so changed the subject. “What’s for tea tonight, Ivy?”

  “Cat’s arse and cauliflower,” she said, throwing her head back and screaming with laughter. Kate giggled and Ray chuckled to himself, shaking his head. “Ain’t she terrible? Can’t ask the woman a straight question without getting a daft answer.” Ivy went over to Ray and placing her ample arms around his scrawny neck, planted a kiss on his cheek. “You can have me if you like, big boy.” Ray turned bright red. “Behave yourself, woman. We’ve company in the ‘ouse.”

  “Katie doesn’t mind do you, love?” Kate shook her head, smiling. “No, I think it’s lovely.”

  “There you are, Ray Daly. What’re you worrying about?” She released him from her grip and patted him affectionately on the chest. “Do us a favour, Ray. Go into the kitchen and fetch that coconut cake I made yesterday...oh and a loaf of homemade bread. I want to give Kate something to take home with her.” Kate started to protest. “Aunty Ivy, there’s no need.”

  “It’s not much, sweetheart. Just a little something to keep you going and I’d feel a lot happier knowing that you’ve got something.” She placed an arm around Kate’s waist. “If it gets too bad for you over there please promise me you’ll come to us. There’s always room for you here. And Emma. Now I know it might be difficult, especially if your mum’s being awkward but Ray and me are here for you whenever you need us. Will you promise me you’ll let me know you and Emma are all right?” Kate nodded, knowing in her heart that to betray Angie was something she couldn’t contemplate. “I’ve enjoyed being here with you. It’s been lovely.”

  Finally satisfied, Ivy led her to the front door. “All right, Kate. You should go across now. We don’t want her to start up, do we?” Ray gave her the bread and cake and smiled at her benignly. “There you go, Katie.”

  “Thanks, Uncle Ray. Goodnight.”

  “Good night, love,” Ivy called as Kate walked down the path. “Look after yourself.”

  Kate turned and waved, then hurried towards the place she called home.

  ***

  The week had gone by so swiftly. The first couple of days had dragged and the decision of whether she should meet Stephen on the following Saturday could be cast aside for a while. Kate enjoyed the feeling there was something exciting for her to contemplate in the future and not threatening the present. Suddenly Wednesday had arrived and the rest of the week had gathered speed and rushed by so quickly that Saturday was upon her yet again. There’s so much to do, she thought as she filled a metal bucket with warm water and a squirt of washing-up liquid. She swished the water about until there was a white froth on top. I have to keep all the plates spinning at once, she thought, and if I can do that we’ll be fine. She knelt on the kitchen floor and began to scrub. Curling her fingers around the slimy, tough-bristled brush she pulled it back and forth across the black linoleum with its red and yellow triangles, incongruously bright in the faded kitchen. Emma appeared at the kitchen door looking pale and bleary-eyed from sleep. She leant against the fridge and watched Kate as she worked. “Why do you do that?” Kate rested back on her haunches and looked up at her. “Do what?”

  “That.”

  “Someone’s got to do it.” She wiped a soapy hand across her forehead, leaving a smear of white foam on her skin. “You don’t think I want to do it do you? I don’t enjoy scrubbing the kitchen floor, it’s the last thing I want to do.” Emma shrugged. “It’ll only get dirty again. It seems daft to me to wash something people walk on. I just thought, well, especially today of all days it would be the last thing on your mind.” Kate looked puzzled. “Why, what’s happening today?”

  “Aren’t you meeting Stephen at the cafe?”

  Kate looked down miserably into the bucket of dirty water. Emma stared at her, her eyes narrowing into slits. She grabbed the scrubbing brush out of Kate’s hands. “Gi’me that bloody thing. If you don’t go I’ll never speak to you again, and that’s not a threat it’s a promise.”

  “I’m too nervous. I don’t think I can go,” Kate said quietly, wishing that Emma would shut up about it.

  “God, is that all.” Emma shook her head. “Of course you’re nervous it’s all part of the thrill. But you mustn’t let it stop you, Kate. For cryin’ out loud he’s gorgeous. You’d be mad to throw up a date with him.” She went quiet for a moment, staring at Kate. “You’re not a lesbian are you...as in lezbe friends?” Kate cried out in protest. “No, I’m not a flippin’ lesbian. Why does not going out with Stephen make me a lesbian?”

  “I don’t care whether you’re a lesbian or not. It doesn’t bother me either way as long as you stay away from me, but you’d have to be one not to fancy him.”

  Emma rested her chin on her hand and stared up at the ceiling. “He looks rich too. You could be all right there. At the very least he’ll buy you another doughnut. You didn’t seem to be in too much of a hurry to turn down the last one I notice.” Kate smiled. “He is gorgeous. So was the doughnut.” Emma threw her arms triumphantly into the air and pirouetted across the damp floor. “At last...sold to the lady who’s scrubbing the floor or put another way, the old scrubber.”

  “You’re a little cow, Emma.”

  Emma threw the scrubbing brush into the tin bucket, pushing a wave of frothy water onto the floor. A look of satisfaction crossed her face. “I’ll do the shopping today.” Kate laughed. “You what? Are you feeling all right? Come here and let me feel your head. You hate doing the shopping, and what if your precious
friends see you. You won’t like that will you?”

  “It’ll be worth the risk just to see that you keep your date. You and I can leave together so Mum doesn’t get suspicious. We’ll go to the market and I’ll take the bags, then you can go to Coffee Kisses to meet Stephen. When I’ve finished I’ll come to the cafe to make sure you didn’t chicken out.”

  Kate felt uncomfortable. There was no getting out of it. Emma had seen to that.

  “What are you going to wear?”

  “Wear? Well, that’s it then. I can’t go. I don’t have anything nice enough to wear on a date with someone like Stephen.”

  “Oh, yes you do,” Emma trilled.

  “I don’t,” protested Kate. “Everything I have is too old-fashioned and my jeans are in holes. I’ll be the laughing stock.” Emma beckoned to her. “Come up to my bedroom. I’ve got something to show you.”

  Kate followed Emma up to her room. Inside, Emma pulled two bags from her wardrobe and laid them on her bed. “There,” she said, her arms folded in front of her, her face victorious. “I said you had something to wear and there it is.” Kate stared at the bags. “What are these?” she asked her, her heart thumping. “Where did you get them?”

  “They’re for you, sister. I got them for you so you could wear them on your date. Come on, Kate, open them. I would’ve thought you’d have been a bit more enthusiastic. Don’t you want to know what’s inside?”

  Kate opened one of the pale cream bags emblazoned with a gold-coloured logo she recognised. Inside was a soft suede dress in damask pink. She looked at Emma, her eyes questioning. In the other bag was a matching maxi-coat with a black fur collar. She laid the clothes out on the bed, folded her arms then quickly unfolded them. Emma waited with bated breath. Kate just had to like them.