A Dish of Stones

by Valentina Hepburn

  “We know you’ve had a disappointment but life’s like that. The glory days come along and then they make way for the sad times, or the times when you feel you’ve lost something special, but it don’t last forever. Your dad and me are very proud at how you’ve adjusted to being back. Some men would’ve given up, but not you. You’re the strong one of the family and you always will be. You take after your Granddad Brown, my dad. He was like you and you’ve more than a passing resemblance to him now,” she said proudly.

  Jack put his arms around Ivy and squeezed her. “Y’know, Mum, in a strange way, I’m glad I’m back too. I did love the army life but there's plenty of things here that more than makes up for not being a soldier any more. Your cooking for a start. And you do my ironing for me… and clean me shoes.”

  Ivy wriggled out of his grasp, giggling. “Get away with you, you cheeky ‘ound. If that’s all you want me for you can go back to the army and do your own ironing.”

  Ray joined them in the kitchen, grinning. “Aye, aye. What’s all the commotion in ‘ere then?” knowing that Jack was teasing Ivy again. “You’re back to normal, son,” he said, a tremor of relief in his voice. “It’s great to see you back on form. I wish your mother would look after me as well as she looks after you, our Jack.” He went and stood by Ivy’s shoulder as she packed the sandwiches into boxes. “I s’pose he’s got all the lean and I’ve got all the fat?”

  “Don’t be silly, Ray,” Ivy said, a look of pretend annoyance crossing her face. “You’ve both got exactly the same. Just enough lean to keep you keen and a bit of fat in there as well to stick to your bones. Anyway, you could do with a bit of fat on you, Ray Daly,” she said. “You’re like a skinned rabbit.”

  She put her arms around his neck and kissed him full on the lips. Then she rested her head into his scrawny neck. Ray let her stay there for a few moments then shrugged her off jokily. “Give over, woman. I’ve got a day’s work ahead of me. You’ll get me passion all fired up and nowhere to go with it. That’s not very fair on a hot-blooded man like me now, is it?” Jack stood back and watched them, a smile passing across his face. He was lucky to have parents like them and he knew it. There had never been a time in his life when he couldn’t depend on them and he’d a lot to thank them for, especially recently.

  They’d never made him feel unloved or unwanted and not once had they ever said he wasn’t good enough. That wasn’t their way. Their way was to instil into him and his brother and sisters they were important and worthy individuals. They taught them you treated others in the way you expected to be treated yourself and that money wasn’t everything, and if you had the love and affection of family and friends in your life you were rich indeed. Jack knew it was mainly Ivy who was the catalyst for all of this and without her the backbone of the family would be missing. She was the one who kept the love alive.

  “There. That should keep you both going for a while.” Ivy poured steaming broth into two flasks, screwing the tops on tightly. “I’ll have a lovely stew with dumplings on the go for you both when you get in tonight. You’ll need it by the time you’ve finished for the day.”

  Ivy crossed her arms in front of her and leant back against the work-top watching Jack intensely as he ate his breakfast. He was unaware of it at first but then he could feel her eyes on him. He looked up at her. Ivy was grinning from ear to ear.

  “Oh, oh,” he said warily. “What’s on your mind, Mother?” She shifted her weight to the other foot. “I was thinking that it’s not just us family what’re glad you’re home. I think there’s someone else who’s been keeping her eye on the situation over here.”

  “Oh yeah,” he said, shovelling another forkful of food into his mouth. “Who’s that then?”

  “As if you didn’t know. And I tell you what, she’s got some fancy friends an’ all.”

  Jack frowned as he placed his knife and fork neatly on his empty plate. Crossing his arms, he leant back in his chair. “What d’you mean, fancy friends?”

  Ivy pulled another chair to the table and sat down, her face close to Jack’s. “A couple of weeks ago, about twelvish… I knew it was that time ‘cause I had something in the oven and it was due out at half-past, so I had me eye on the clock.” Jack sighed impatiently. Ivy always prevaricated when she was telling them something she considered a juicy piece of gossip. “Yes, Mum, all right. Get on with it. I’ve to leave in a minute and I don’t want to be late on me first day do I?” Ivy looked hurt. “I want to tell you the whole story.” Jack blew out a breath and looked over to his father who grinned at him.

  “All right, Mum. Tell me the whole story.”

  “Well as I was saying when I was so rudely interrupted,” she said, eyeing Jack, “it was nearly midday and a car pulled up outside the McGuire house. Kate and Emma were both in the car. They got out and waved to the woman driving. The woman was blonde, with her hair all pinned up at the back of her head. Her face was made up. Her lips were pink and she was wearing one of those little pink jackets with the gold buttons. Then she drove away.”

  “Right?”

  “That’s it.”

  “What’s so strange about that, Mum? I don’t understand.”

  Ivy got up from her chair and filled the kettle for yet another cup of tea, her third that morning. “You’d understand if you’d seen the car. It was beautiful. All shiny and bright blue. I looked it up in one of your motoring magazines, Jack. It was a Mercedes, and a new one at that. You can’t tell me that’s a regularity round these parts. A Mercedes?” she cried, “In Sunningdale Terrace? I don’t think so.” Jack got more interested. “What was the woman like, y’know the driver?”

  “Oh, Jack, she was beautiful, no...perfect, well both really. When she waved to the girls I noticed lots of gold and pearl bracelets that matched the earrings she was wearing. She was like one of them high society women in the magazines.”

  Ray rustled his newspaper and leant his elbows on the table as he read. “You weren’t able to see much then, Ivy?” he said dryly. “You should change them glasses for a stronger pair. I suppose that accounts for the burnt bits on the cake you gave me for my lunch?” Ivy sipped her tea. “ Anyway, I thought you’d be interested, Jack, seeing as how that lassie, Katie’s got a crush on you. She’s a beautiful girl, son. You could do a lot worse.”

  Jack took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Kate had been on his mind. When he'd seen her in the garden she’d taken his breath away. Ivy was right. She was beautiful. All he could remember of her from before he'd left was that she was a scrawny kid who played in the street with all the other kids.

  “Come on, son. It’s time we weren’t here.” Ray shrugged on his coat and wrapped a scarf round his neck.

  “Make sure you wrap up well, Jack,” Ivy said, as she fussed around him like a moth at a candle. Jack raised his hands up to her. “Mum, I’m all right, will you stop fretting. We’re only just in October.” Ivy sighed and put her hands on her hips. “It’s cold out there of a morning. I know you’ve been a soldier but even soldiers can catch pneumonia y’know, you mark my words.” She pushed his hands away from his collar that he'd been trying to fasten. “Come ‘ere. Let me do it.” He gave in to her. It was quicker and easier. Satisfied Jack was going to be warm enough she patted him on the cheek. “I can remember doing that on your first day at school. Oh, you looked so sweet, Jack. You wore a lovely little uniform and looked ever so smart. Our Marty looked smart in it when he’d started school too.”

  She licked the palm of her hand and smoothed it across his short fringe. Jack grabbed a towel from the rail by the sink and scrubbed it across his head. “Mum,” he cried. “Will you not do that please. I’m twenty-one. I don’t need you to lick down my fringe. If I want it licked down, I’ll do it myself.” Ivy roared with laughter and as he went into the hall with Ray, she patted him affectionately on his back. “Ah, Jack. You know you like it really.”

  “I do not,” he replied crossly, but when he looked back at her was smiling. “I
love you, Mum. It doesn’t matter how old I get, I can still say that can’t I?”

  “Oh, Jack,” she said engulfing him in a bear hug. “You can say it as often as you like, son. You’ve made my day, you really have.”

  Ray raised his eyes to the ceiling. “Christ, she’s off again. Leave the lad alone, woman. You’ll drive him away an’ he’s only just come back to us. We’ve got to go. Now.”

  Ray stepped out of the front door with Jack following. It was six o’clock on a dark and misty morning. Jack banged the front door shut and as he walked down the path he glanced over to number fifty-three. A dim light glowed through the heavy chenille curtains pulled across the window.

  He remembered his mother saying you could tell how well off a family were by the amount of gathering they had in their living-room curtains. If the curtain fabric was heavily pleated the family were better off because it meant they could afford lots of material and so have a more attractive show, but if the curtain was flat against the window they were poor and could afford only enough to give privacy and nothing more. The McGuire family were definitely in the latter category. He shook his head and ran to catch up with his father.

  “If you’re that worried why don’t you do something about it?” Jack stared at his father. “What d’you mean, Dad?”

  Ray continued walking at a fast pace. He wore the grey fingerless gloves that Ivy had knitted for him last Christmas and his hands were pushed down deep into the pockets of his donkey jacket. “I like the mornings like this,” he said. “I always think these mornings are cleaner and healthier than the muggy, sweaty ones we had this summer.”

  Jack said nothing. Dad's a strange one, he thought. Doesn’t say much but sees everything. “Still waters run deep,” Ivy always said when she was referring to her husband. Small he might be, thought Jack who towered a good six inches over Ray, but he has a stronger character than any man I’ve ever known. “What should I do, Dad?” Ray glanced up at him and laughed. “What d’you want to do?”

  “I'd like to see her. She’s a smart girl. Intelligent. She’s also....” He hesitated.

  “Spit it out, son.”

  “She’s lovely.” Ray nodded. “You’re right, son. She’s all those things but she has problems. You see, Kate thinks that we, that’s your mum and me, don’t know what’s going on over there. The whole street knows. Angie has such a loud mouth you can hear her voice a mile off. That poor lass over there is soldiering on alone because she won’t ask for help. Ivy sheds tears for that girl but there’s nothing we can do. If we go to the welfare they might take Emma into care and separate them and then where would we be? Kate would never forgive us would she?”

  “There must be something we can do.” Ray shrugged. “There’s nothing we can do, Jack, but I think there’s something you can do. But be careful, though. Don’t be going over there with ideas of saving her, y’know the knight-in-shining-armour routine. She won’t appreciate it and if you do ask her out, for God’s sake don’t ever let her down. We’ve heard rumours that someone she was seeing a while back let her down badly. You know what your mum’s like. Nothing gets past her and if you upset Kate, Ivy’ll be down on you like a ton of bricks no matter how much she fusses over you.”

  As they reached the corner of Sunningdale Terrace, Jack couldn’t help turning back for another look down the street. He wondered who had woken so early in their household that morning. He could see her in his mind’s eye, her black hair tousled from sleep.

  I’ve got to do something to show that I care for her, he thought. His instincts were telling him that if he missed his chance with Kate McGuire he would regret it for the rest of his life.

  Chapter 20

  “Are you going to see Jack?”

  “What d’you mean, am I going to see him?”

  “When he asks you out. You’ll go won’t you? Don’t pretend you don’t like him.”

  “I’m not pretending anything. I do like him. I’ve never stopped liking him, but why would he ask me out? We’re just friends, Em’.”

  “Yeah, right. Keep on thinking that. I’ve seen the way he looks at you.”

  Kate ran down the stairs two at a time. “I’m going to be late,” she wailed as she ran into the kitchen.

  “Calm down, Kate,” Emma said, her mouth full of toast. “Stop panicking. That’s no way to go to an interview. You should be calm and serene.” Kate pulled a face at her. “Oh, really. And how many interviews have you had lately, may I ask?”

  “I had one at the police station. Remember?” Kate put her fingers to her lips to quieten her. “Don’t say it so loudly. Mum’ll hear you.”

  “So,” Emma said cockily. “She knows already. Anyway, she's the least of my worries.” Kate sighed. “You’re in one of your moods again, aren’t you? I suppose it’s your hormones. Give it a rest, Emma. It just doesn’t help when you’re being like this.”

  “I just don’t see why I have to go to school,” she answered as she put yet more toast under the grill. “I’ll be leaving soon, won’t I? What’s the point?”

  “I haven’t the time to argue about it now. When I get back we’ll talk.”

  “We won’t,” Emma answered, “because I’ll be at school.”

  Kate slammed the back door behind her as she went into the yard. Sometimes Emma made her want to spit. She constantly complained about going back to school, stating that she didn’t need algebra to change a baby’s nappy.

  “And what about afterwards?” Kate had asked her. “When the baby’s old enough to go to school? You’ll want to get a job won’t you, and you’ll need some qualifications. Some CSEs at least. It’ll be worth it in the end, Emma. You’ll regret it if you don’t take your exams.”

  Kate had made a real effort with her appearance. Her hair washed, brushed and gleaming fell like a mahogany curtain across her back and shoulders. Her face was fashionably pale and she'd painted her lips a deep plum. She wore the dress, coat and boots Emma had stolen, feeling a stab of guilt as she’d dressed, but assured herself the clothes were simply a means to an end. After today she hoped she would never have to wear them again. I’ve done the best I can, she thought, but I want this job more than anything in the world. Please, Lord if you’re out there somewhere, she pleaded, help me out today.

  As she got further down the street her annoyance with Emma lifted. She suddenly felt optimistic and she smiled as she walked. Jack came out of the newsagents on the corner of the street and a flash of nervous excitement went through her.

  “Hi, Kate.”

  “Hello, Jack, how are you?”

  “Fine thanks, yeah fine.”

  “Ivy tells me you’re working at Butterfields.”

  “That’s right. I’m in the design office. It’s very interesting. Obviously I’m only on the bottom rung of the ladder, but...well my hopes are high. I’m going in late today. They gave me some work to do at home and I have to meet the chief designer later to discuss my ideas. I’m really looking forward to it. It’s very friendly there. Yeah. I think I’m going to like it.”

  There was a pause. He could have kicked himself. What am I gabbling on like that for, he thought? I should’ve said how lovely she was looking and ask her about herself instead of taking over the conversation like that. Christ. I bet I’ve blown it now. Ask her something about her, crap for brains. Kate was looking down at her feet, biting her bottom lip.

  “You look...”

  “Well, I’d better...” They both laughed.

  “You go first,” she said.

  “I was just going to say how lovely you look, Kate. Going somewhere special?”

  “I’ve an interview today at Kendalls.”

  “That’s the big department store in town, isn’t it?” She nodded. “I hope I get it. It’s a beautiful store... and I could do with the money.”

  “We’ll have to pay tuppence to talk to you if you do get it. It’s really posh in there,” he said, laughing. “Tell you what. If you get the job, which I know you will, ho
w about if I take you out to celebrate, y’know, a drink to toast our good fortune. What d’you say?” Kate sucked in her breath, hardly able to believe her luck. “I’d really like that.”

  Jack watched her as she disappeared round the corner. His heart swelled, unable to believe his luck in bumping into her. He’d waited for the right moment and it had come. I was right to wait, he thought. Everything comes to those who wait. That’s what Ivy said anyway.

  ***

  Kate stepped out of the back door into the darkness. She shivered, not just with the cold but with anticipation. In her arms were some old newspapers that had been in the house since before Joe left. She walked briskly down the garden path and dumped the old papers on to the lawn. Then she went into the shed and dragged out an old metal dustbin that Joe used to burn garden rubbish, blackened with charcoal. She set this next to the old newspapers and then went back inside.

  A few moments later she returned to the dustbin carrying a pair of black suede boots, a damask-pink suede dress and a damask-pink coat with a black fur collar. She screwed up some of the paper and threw it into the dustbin followed by the boots, dress and coat. Then she poured in a little paraffin from a can. Taking a box of matches from her pocket, she struck one and threw it into the dustbin. The contents burst into flames, the sudden flare throwing a bright orange glow on to her face. She held her hands out to the dustbin relishing the intensity of the heat. “This is it,” she said out loud. “The start of my new life.”

  She looked skywards as if she were speaking to the myriad stars that shone pin-pricks of gleaming crystal in the crisp October sky. I have my own job, she thought and at last I’ll have some money to call my own. I’ve got some dignity again. I can hold my head up and not be frightened anymore and best of all...I have a date with Jack. She wrapped her arms round herself, hugging her body with pure joy and looked into the dustbin. The flames had died down and all that was left were a few charred pieces of suede smouldering in the bottom. This is the happiest day of my life, she thought. Only one thing could make it better and that would be to see Dad again. She turned to go back into the house, then stopped and looked up at the stars again. “One thing at a time, eh?” she whispered.