A Dish of Stones

by Valentina Hepburn

  “It depends what we’re shopping for,” Emma said, grinning. Her face had filled out and she glowed with health.

  “You need bits and pieces for your case, don’t you? We ought to get them. You could start at any time.”

  “I’m not due until the end of next week.” Kate let the clothes fall from her arms onto the kitchen table. “We can’t rely on the date. You heard what the doctor said and the midwife from your ante-natal classes. The baby will come when it's ready.” Emma scowled. “Stupid classes. They were all looking down their noses at me...just ‘cos they’ve all got husbands and I haven’t.” Kate folded the washing, placing it into neat piles. “Don’t be silly. How are they to know you don’t have a husband? Did you tell them?”

  “No, of course I didn't tell them. It's none of their business. Nosy-parkers.”

  “Well, if you didn’t tell them who did?” Emma shifted her unwieldy body from one buttock to another, trying to find a comfortable position. “They just know. I’m the youngest there. I would have thought it was obvious that I’m only sixteen and still at school.”

  Kate got out the ironing board and set it up near the table. “You wore your gym-slip and tie for the first few classes. I'd have thought anyone with half-a-brain could work that one out. Anyway, you’ve finished your classes now haven’t you? I wouldn’t worry if I were you.”

  Emma got up awkwardly from her chair and kissed Kate on the cheek. “I’ll never forget what you’ve done, Katie, no matter what happens. You’ve saved my life. I could never have managed alone. I’ll pay you back one day, I promise.” Kate looked at her softly. “No girl should be without her mum when she's about to have a baby. We all need someone to lean on, someone to talk to and reassure us. I know I could never replace a lovely mum but I’m doing the best I can for you and I always will, especially when the baby’s born.” They wrapped their arms around each other and hugged. “I can smell burning,” Emma said. “Oh, Kate, look,” she squealed.

  Kate shot across to the iron, but it was too late. A huge iron-shaped hole had burnt right through a pair of Angie’s knickers. Kate held them up, making faces at Emma through the hole. They both burst out laughing. “It’s a shame she wasn’t in them,” Emma cried.

  ***

  They ambled along the High Street arm-in-arm. It was another busy Saturday at Hatters Market. People weren’t spending much money, wary of buying things they could do without. The threat of strike loomed over them day-after-day as the union’s voice became stronger, determined their case be heard.

  Employers were steering an ungainly ship through the jagged rocks of union men who were hell-bent on getting a better deal for the workers. People were hanging on to what little money they had for fear of lay-offs or worse. The fear of strike didn’t stop the population of Willowbridge window shopping, however. They were out in droves.

  Kate knew they would be short of money very soon. Angie was due home and it looked like she would have to leave her beloved job at Kendalls. There didn’t seem to be any other solution. She hadn't yet had the courage to tell Emma. Angie would be home just before Emma’s baby was due and they had to start preparing the house for them both. Laden with carrier-bags of nappies, creams and lotions, they decided to treat themselves with a coffee and cake at The Coffee Kisses Cafe.

  “You don’t mind going in here, do you, Kate. I know this place has some rotten memories for you and we could always go somewhere else if you want, maybe that old-fashioned tea-room if you'd feel better.

  “No,” Kate frowned. “I like it at Coffee Kisses. Aldo’s more fun than the sniffy waitresses at the tea-room. What happened seems so long ago now it doesn't bother me, honestly.”

  Aldo fussed and flapped around them which made them giggle. First, he pulled out one of the coffee-bar chairs but decided it was much too hard for Emma to sit on, then he pulled out two explaining that Emma could rest her feet. “No, this is not good, either. Ah. I know. You can sit in the big chair. It’s soft and cosy, perfect for a pregnant lady. Stay here please.” They waited for him to bring in the other chair from the back room.

  “'I wish he’d hurry up,” Emma whispered loudly. “My feet are killing me.”

  “Shush. You’ll upset him if he hears you. He’ll be back in a minute.” At last he appeared from behind the counter. “Here I am. This chair is absolutely perfect for you.”

  He wheeled a large armchair with wings, complete with an old squashy cushion into the cafe and placed it at the table, a few steps from the lavatory. “It’s all right, love. Don’t be embarrassed with me. I’m a father myself, so I know. My Isabella, she needed the lady’s loo many times, especially at night. What a problem. See,” he gently patted Emma’s tummy, “baby rests on the bladder so you need the loo all the time. Isabella and me, we have six children and they were all the same.” Kate and Emma looked at each other.

  “Six,” Emma said, wincing.

  “And here,” he indicated the ladies toilet with a flourish of his hand, “you need not worry. If you need to go, there it is for you.”

  Emma was about to protest but Kate silenced her. “Thank you so much for your kindness, Aldo. We’re very grateful for the comfy chair. Aren’t we, Emma?” she said, pinching her sister’s arm.

  “Ouch.” Emma glared at Kate before replying through gritted teeth. “Yeah, thanks very much.”

  “We’ll have two frothy coffees please, and two cream slices,” said Kate. Aldo bowed and smiled, pleased with his customer service. “Of course, ladies. I’ll bring it to your table.”

  “That was so sweet of him,” said Kate. Emma’s face took on a familiar scowl as she sank into the chair, positioning the cushions against her back. “I feel so stupid,” she said.

  “There’s no one here but us. I don’t know why you’re making such a fuss about it.”

  “Look,” squealed Emma. “There’s someone now. I'm so embarrassed. We’re right next to the lady’s loo as well. Oh, God I want to die.”

  Aldo brought their tray of coffee and cakes over to them.

  “You shouldn’t eat too many of those, Emma. You’ll end up like Aunty Ivy.” Kate laughed into her cake, accidentally blowing cream over the table top. Emma shook her head. “You’re so funny. Sometimes you’re so prim and proper but when you relax and forget yourself you’re really good fun.” She pointed to the cream smeared across the table. “Look at the mess you’ve made. Get a serviette and wipe it up for God's sake, otherwise he’ll be over to do it and he’ll be asking me if I need to go to the toilet.” Kate laughed again and another splodge of cream landed on the table. Emma got out of the armchair as gracefully as she could and went to the counter, taking some serviettes from the stainless steel holder. She handed one to Kate. “What are we going to do after this, Kate? Are we going home?”

  “Em’, there’s something I need to talk to you about.” Emma raised her eyebrows as she licked cream from her fingers and demolished the last piece of her cake. “Blimey, it must be serious. You should see the look on your face.”

  “Mum's doctors say she can come home at the end of next week.” Emma’s smile swiftly disappeared. “No. She can’t. I don’t want her near me and I don’t want her near the baby. Tell them we can’t have her at home.” Kate took Emma's hand. “I can’t, Emma. If there was anything I could do to stop it... you know I would. There’s nothing I can do. She’ll never get any better than she is now. The hospital will discharge her and she needs somewhere to go. Number fifty-three is her home and she’ll have to return there no matter how we feel about it.”

  Tears ran down Emma’s face as she realised her nightmare would come true. This was the conversation she’d dreaded; the news she’d pushed into a tiny compartment in her mind that she’d tried so hard to bury. Yet deep down she’d waited for it; her mind and body knowing with certainty that Angie would expect to go back to her home. “I’m so scared. I’m even scared of my own body. It doesn’t feel like it’s mine anymore. I’m terrified of giving birth, and now,”
she swallowed hard, “now she’s going to be there. I wish I could run away.”

  “And go where, Emma? Where would you go, Em’? You’re nearly nine months gone. You’re in no condition to be going anywhere.” Emma glanced at Kate, a fierce look on her face.

  “I can go to Granny McGuire’s in Ireland. She’ll have me I know she will.”

  “No, she won't. You can't go there.” Emma was dumbfounded. “Why not?”

  “Because since Dad left I’ve written to Granny McGuire so many times I’ve lost count and I’ve not received one reply from her. All the letters I've sent have been returned unopened. If you don't believe me I'll show them to you when we get home. I've kept all of them.”

  Emma covered her face with her hands and sobbed. Kate could see Aldo out of the corner of her eye, hovering. She looked up at him and shook her head. He understood. Seconds later he returned, quietly placing a tea-tray with a small silver teapot, two china teacups and saucers and a folded pristine white linen handkerchief on their table. He looked at Kate dolefully. “For the young lady,” he whispered. When Emma’s sobs subsided they sat together in silence. Emma looked up as the cafe door opened. She nudged Kate as Jack sat down beside them. Taking Kate’s hands, he placed them to his lips.

  “I’ll look after you y’know?” he said softly. “I won’t let anything happen to either of you and I’ll be there whenever you need me. No one mixes it with Jack Daly.”

  “We’ll keep you to that, Jack,” said Kate. “You’ve made a promise to the McGuire girls, hasn’t he, Emma? You must never go back on a promise or something awful will happen to you.” Jack grinned. “Oh yeah. Like what?”

  “Aunty Ivy will suffocate you with one of her hugs.” He ran his finger around Kate’s cake plate, picking up some of the cream she’d left. “Is that all?” he said, sucking the cream from his finger. “She does that already.” Kate turned her nose up at him. “Ugh, you‘re really disgusting d’you know that? You don’t know whose plate that was. It could’ve been some old tramp’s.” He swiftly took his finger out of his mouth. “It was yours, wasn’t it?'” Kate shook her head slowly, looking him right in the eye. “Nope.” She paused long enough to tease him then grinned. He shook his head at her. “Yeah, you’re very funny, Kate. Keep on like that and you’ll get on the Morecambe and Wise Show.”

  Chapter 27

  “Kate, Kate. For Chris’sake, girl can you not hear me?”

  “What is it, Mum? You don’t have to shout like that, I’m not deaf.”

  “I’ve been calling you for ages. You must be bloody deaf if you didn’t hear me.”

  “I was out in the garden putting out the bin for the bin-man. That’s why I didn’t hear you. I’ll get here when I can.”

  “No you won’t, lady. You’ll get here when I want you.”

  Angie looked miserable. She was propped up in bed, the sheets and blankets in disarray around her where she’d lost her temper with Kate for not coming to her when she wanted her. “I need my sheets changed. I’ve had an accident.”

  “Why don’t you tell me when you need the toilet? Surely it would be more comfortable for you and less work for me.”

  “Sometimes it just happens. I’m sorry.” Angie said, her eyes downcast. Kate felt tears pricking under her eyelids. She couldn’t imagine how awful it was for Angie to be so helpless. It’ll be better when we move her downstairs, she thought. Maybe she’ll be happier then. “It’s all right, Mum. It’ll be good when the nurse comes with some pads. It’ll be easier for both of us.”

  “Bet they’re just like nappies. Can’t I have some dignity left to me?” Angie cried. Kate sighed. Every time she offered a solution to a problem Angie knocked her back.

  “What did you expect?” Emma said to her laughing when Kate had complained to her about Angie. “You must’ve known what it would be like, Kate. And just think. You might have to look after her for years and years. That’ll be nice for you won’t it?” Kate turned away, not wanting to hear what Emma was saying.

  Emma had seen Angie only once since she’d returned home. On Kate's last day at work she’d been due to finish at lunchtime to be home in time for Angie but the ambulance had arrived early. Emma refused to make eye-contact with her when the ambulance men had carried her into the hall. Her dislike of her mother increased more and more as she heard her cursing at the ambulance men.

  “You've got your work cut out for you with that one, love,” one of them had said to her, thumbing upstairs as he left the house.

  “Not me,” she’d said. “She can rot up there for all I care,” and he'd looked at her surprised, his eyebrows raised at the vehemence in her voice. As he’d walked back to the ambulance he’d sung Happy Days Are Here Again and Emma had stuck two fingers up at him behind his back, her mouth pursed with anger. Kate arrived just as the ambulance turned the corner, panting from running. “I saw the ambulance leave. They were early.”

  “Any time’s too early as far as I’m concerned,” Emma had said bitterly.

  “We have to try, Emma. Just try. It can’t be easy for her either.”

  “Why are you telling me? I’ve told you...I couldn’t give a monkey’s.”

  ***

  “The nurse is bringing the pads so you’ll be more comfortable. Please don’t be so difficult.” Angie glared at Kate. “Oh, it’s difficult I am now, is it? My husband’s walked out on me with God knows what trollop, my daughter pushes me down the stairs, and I’m a cripple. Yes, I’m difficult. I have every right to be, lady. What a lovely thing to have said to me... and from me own daughter too.”

  Kate turned away, clenching her fists so hard her finger-nails bit deep into the palms of her hands. Putting her head down with closed eyes she took three deep breaths. “P’raps we should wait and see what they’re like before we make any decisions, Mum. Would you like a cup of tea?”

  “You know what I want. You’ve been skirting around it all morning. Don’t think for a minute that I don’t know what you’re up to, lady. I want a bottle of vodka up here and I’ll have a clean glass if you don’t mind.” Kate decided to stand up to her. This is the time she thought. Start as you mean to go on, Kate. “No, Mum. You’re not having alcohol. You heard what the doctor said, you’ve to cut down.”

  “I want vodka and I want it now.” Kate was unmoved by her and stood her ground. she said firmly.

  They eyed each other for a few moments each wondering what the other would do. Angie made the first move. She opened her mouth and began to scream as loudly as she could. “Help me, someone ‘elp me. She’s beatin’ me, me own daughter’s maiming me. Somebody please help me.” Kate stared at her in horror. “Stop it, else you’ll have the whole street in here. What on earth are you trying to do?” Angie lay back down on her pillows, her face implacable, and her outburst draining her of energy. “I’m getting what I want that’s what. Who the hell d’you think you are telling me what I can and can’t have? You’ve no right.” She changed her tone from hateful and vicious to maudlin and whining in a second. Kate sighed. How many times have I seen this, she thought? She’ll pretend to cry in a minute. She’ll try anything to get what she wants.

  “I’ve done my best for you girls. I know things haven’t been very easy for us since your dad left us, but I never left you did I? I never left you because I’m a good mother and a God fearing person. Only He knows what I’ve gone without so you and that sister of yours could have what you needed and all I ever asked for was one little drink occasionally to dull my mind that’s in turmoil with worry,” she whined. Her voice changed yet again to one full of venom. “Yes, and that’s another thing,” she said stabbing a nicotine stained finger towards Kate. “Where’s that Emma been all week? I’ve not had one visit from that child, and there’s me laid up in my bed for Lord knows how many years and does she care? Does she hell, not one bloody iota. She’s ashamed I expect. Yeah, that’ll be it. She’s ashamed of what she’s carrying in her swollen belly, leechin’ all the goodness out of her like you did
with me. And I expect she’ll want me to behave like I’m its granny, well will I hell. No way. She’s a disgrace that girl, a disgrace to the family. First of all that husband of mine disappears to who knows where and then she gets a bun in the oven and expects me to be its Nana. Huh, she’s got another think coming. The hell I will.”

  Her eyes narrowed in bitterness as she thought of all the wrongs she’d suffered. Then she remembered Kate. “And as for you, I’m lying here in my own business because you can't be bothered to clean me up. Do you expect me to do it myself? Well, I can’t, can I?” Kate left the bedroom. She knew if she stayed there any longer she would have lost all reason and lashed out at Angie. I won’t ever do that, she thought. That’ll bring me down to her level and I’m nothing like her.

  Emma was waiting on the landing, listening to every word. As Kate left Angie’s bedroom they looked into each other’s eyes. Emma turned away and went quietly in to her room as Angie called for Kate again.

  “Kate. Kate. I’m uncomfortable and sore,” she wheedled. “I need a bed-bath. You're wicked leaving me like this. If people knew what you were like I’d have all their sympathy, but they just don’t know do they? Perhaps I’ll have to tell them. And I will you know. I will tell them what a cruel and lazy girl you are. Kate, Kate. I need a drink girl...and I’m wet and dirty, hurry up won’t you?”

  Kate was about to go back into Angie’s bedroom then hesitated. Turning away she went downstairs. “Go to hell,” she murmured.

  Chapter 28

  Kate closed the front door and ran across the road to the Daly house. The end of April had brought an unseasonal cold-snap and the air was so crisp she could almost hear it crackle as a fall of fine sleet covered her hair in tiny icy grains. She pulled her coat tightly around her and rapped sharply on the front door. Again she knocked. Someone switched on the landing light and she heard the thud of feet on the stair. The door opened a few inches.