Wired Courage

by Toby Neal

  “Momi will be watched over every minute of every day. We will not lose her again,” Armita said. “But after the peas are prepared, I might take a little nap, as well.”

  “You do that.” Sophie’s gaze fell to the bedside table. Jake’s ring, and the envelope it was placed on, still rested there. She walked over and picked up both items, turning on her heel to leave the room without any explanation. Sophie loved that Armita never asked any questions that Sophie did not welcome. She simply accepted.

  Sophie headed out of her bedroom, down the open hallway, and across the inner courtyard to Connor’s office.

  Her mind was still whirling from the things he’d told her. How long would he be gone? What had the Master done to persuade him to stay? Could she send a team to extract him?

  She already knew the answer to that one—the fortress was nearly impregnable, and the United States had no interest in poking that hornets’ nest. Even Security Solutions didn’t have enough men with a death wish to take it on.

  The office’s cool, gray walls calmed her immediately with the familiar environment of a distraction-free computer lab. Sophie lowered the blinds that opened into the central courtyard and the trickling Quan Yin fountain.

  Her muscles were knotted and her throat tight from the talk with Connor. Working out would help. Sophie walked over to his Bowflex set and sat down on the bench. She adjusted the settings, and began lat pulldowns—she needed to strengthen her upper body with all the baby carrying she was doing.

  Of all the things she had braced herself for, Connor’s refusal to return was not one of them.

  He must be brainwashed by the Master, or perhaps the man had found some leverage on him that Sophie didn’t know about. But Connor had not seemed under duress; she knew his body language, his every expression, the inflections of his voice. Though most of what he showed the world was a mask—she alone really knew him.

  Sophie fought tears for the second time that day and coughed, her throat still tight. She looked around for water—now that she was breastfeeding, she was constantly thirsty. She filled a paper cup of water from the dispenser in the corner, sipping it and composing herself.

  She was glad she had been able to see his very real pain at saying goodbye—and also the determination in his mouth, the hard line of his jaw.

  Whatever was going on, Connor meant it. And he was quite motivated, if his shaved and tattooed head were anything to judge by.

  It didn’t matter. She’d find a way to get him out.

  But first, she needed to pull back. Retrench. Recover from all that had happened. Pick up the reins of the company, and keep it going. Notify the families of the men who’d died on the mission, and help bury the dead. And in the meantime, work with the CIA on all of this, including the situation with her mother.

  Sophie went back to the workout area and completed a vigorous forty minutes of exercise, drank more water, and sat down in Connor’s ergonomic office chair. She woke up his computer and logged in with the access code he had texted her over their secure line.

  The computer immediately opened up to a saved file, and Sophie recognized a copy of the letter Connor had written her when he and Jake first marooned her on the island.

  She whisked the letter aside. She could not bear to read it again right now.

  The signed will and power of attorney were all in order. She opened an email and sent them to Kendall Bix, President of Operations, along with a request for a video conference meeting with all the department heads of Security Solutions. They deserved to get this news through videoconferencing, at least.

  He had asked her to run the company, so run it she would. She’d keep it going for him to come back to.

  She opened another file. This one was filled with accounts and passwords; all of Connor’s secret money stashes around the world.

  She could help herself to billions—but she couldn’t care less about that. Money had always been a given in her life, and the salary and stock options he’d set up for her were more than generous.

  The small skull that represented the Ghost software, Connor’s vigilante justice program, pulsed at her. A tiny icon showed a number of situations that needed attention.

  But she hadn’t promised to keep the Ghost going for him, too. She wasn’t comfortable with his chosen mission; she never had been, though with time she’d come to see and appreciate the utility of it. But right now? “That’s one can of worms you don’t need to open, girlfriend,” Marcella’s voice said in her mind.

  She minimized the Ghost icon and it blipped out of view. She powered down the computer, and her eyes dropped to take in Jake’s letter in its sealed envelope, held down by the black velvet ring box.

  He’d said the ring was an antique. The corners of the little black box were worn, the velvet rubbed off, testifying to age and sentiment.

  She opened a drawer and uncovered a bubble-wrapped envelope. She addressed it to Jake on the Big Island, and slid the box in. It seemed wrong to just throw it in there with no word, so she scribbled on a Post-it: “I wish you every happiness.” She stuck it in with the ring and sealed the envelope before she could change her mind. Nam would know how to get the ring into the mail and insure it.

  Jake was a hero. A good man. He deserved to be happy, and she wouldn’t make him happy. She’d always known that, but had hoped, for a little while . . .

  Sophie pulled a handful of tissues out of a nearby box and blew her nose. Dabbed her eyes. Got up and drank more water. “Son of a two-headed goat. All this crying. Does nothing! Changes nothing. Useless emotions!”

  The soundproofed room didn’t give her back so much as an echo.

  She picked up the letter. He had asked her to destroy it without reading it.

  Some part of her had always known that Jake needed to be the only man in her life. With Alika as the father of her child and Connor as someone she would always love more than a friend, he had hit a wall. She understood that.

  Her fingers played with the edge of the envelope’s flap. Oh, how she missed Jake’s comforting presence, his strong arms, the rumble of his voice in her ear, teasing her. She longed to read his loving words, to feel the incredible feelings he stirred in her one more time. To have been loved the way he’d loved her—what a gift.

  But was that what she missed most? How he’d loved her? Or did she miss the man, himself?

  She didn’t know the answer, and trying to think about it was making her physically sick. It wasn’t fair to either of them for her to read whatever was written in this letter. She reached under the desk, pulled the shredder forward, and fed the letter in, her vision blurring.

  Epilogue

  Six months later

  Sophie slid her key into the door of Connor’s apartment at the swanky Pendragon Arches building on Oahu. She glanced around out of habit, checking the familiar hallway for danger. Nothing visible but immaculate carpet and spotlighted artworks. The refined surroundings she’d first approached years ago had become familiar in the month she’d been living there, but when she opened the door, a completely new and refurbished interior greeted her.

  Anubis, his ears pricked, sat on his haunches. He whined happily at the sight of her, his intelligent eyes bright. She still missed Ginger’s sloppy, rambunctious affection, but as she and Jake had agreed, Ginger and Tank remained together and lived with him on the Big Island.

  “Hey boy.” She patted the Doberman’s sleek head and caressed his ears. “Keep a good eye on my girl and Armita today?”

  The dog gave a snort, as if to chide her for even asking such a thing.

  Armita came out from the bedroom area carrying Momi. The baby reached her arms eagerly for Sophie and grinned, showing off three shiny new teeth. She burbled something that might have been “Mama!”

  Sophie’s heart broke into a thousand pieces. “Darling girl!” She embraced Armita and Momi both. “Eight hours feels like forever being away from you.”

  Armita stepped back, still holding Momi. “Our gi
rl has something new to demonstrate, Sophie Malee.”

  “What is it? Show me!” It seemed as if every day, Momi met some new milestone.

  Armita set the baby down on the immaculate, camel-colored carpeting Sophie had chosen to replace the flooring that had been destroyed in an explosion in the apartment’s previous incarnation. The baby, set on all fours, rocked back-and-forth, concentrating. Anubis sat down in front of Momi, giving an encouraging “Woof.”

  Momi fastened her gaze on the dog and extended a hand, fingers spread, and shuffled forward on her knees. She did it again on the other side. Anubis moved back, staying just out of reach, and she chortled, speeding up.

  “She’s crawling!” Sophie exclaimed. She elbowed Anubis aside and dropped to her knees in front of the baby. “Come to Mama, my pearl.”

  Momi giggled, a sound that Sophie knew would be tattooed on her heart forever, and she crawled right up into Sophie’s lap.

  Sophie scooped her close. She tickled the baby’s tummy and blew on her neck, and those wonderful giggles filled the whole room.

  Was there any love as overwhelming as the love of a mother? The incredible feelings Momi brought up on a daily basis reminded Sophie of her own mother.

  Pim Wat had survived her fall, and remained captive in Guantánamo. A picture of her that McDonald had sent during their call that day showed that the broken bones in Pim Wat’s face had not been skillfully set. Her hair had gone white, seemingly overnight, and she had lost an alarming amount of weight as she sank into a catatonic state.

  Pim Wat’s beauty was gone, and her deep depression appeared genuine.

  McDonald was very disappointed. “Haven’t got a whisper of usable intel out of her,” he told Sophie on their conference call. “She just lies there, completely unresponsive. Even after we gave her electroshock therapy for her depression.” He grinned, and it was more than a little evil.

  “Don’t underestimate her. She can never be allowed to escape.” Sophie knew exactly what her mother looked like in that state—and Sophie’d been afraid, at one time, that she might end up in a similar bad way.

  “Don’t worry. She’s not going anywhere. But I’m thinking it’s about time for you to reach out to the Master. Check on your man in the compound.”

  “He’s not my man.”

  “Whatever you need to tell yourself. But reach out. See if you can get a dialogue going with the Master, or with Hamilton. We still want to know more of what the Yām Khûmkạn is up to, and we’re getting nothing from Pim Wat.”

  The CIA had leaked that they had captured Pim Wat on her way to visit her sister in Bangkok, in order to deflect the Master’s attention from Malee and Sophie. Sophie assumed that the Master had picked up that intel, as the CIA had intentionally disseminated it. There had been no response from the Yām Khûmkạn and no further communication from the stronghold.

  Armita brought Sophie back to the present moment, waving a spoon from the kitchen area. “There’s time for you to take Anubis and the baby out for your evening run before dinner,” she said. “I have a nice coconut curry for us when you get home.”

  “What have I done to deserve you?” Sophie stood up with the baby in her arms and gave Armita a kiss on the cheek. “You keep me sane. You keep everything going. You make it so that I can go to work every day and not worry about Momi, or anything going on at home.”

  Armita’s cheeks flushed. “It’s my pleasure,” the Thai woman said with dignity. “Now get going before the rice clumps up too much.” She turned back to the stove.

  Momi reached up and grabbed Sophie’s abundant hair, giving a tug at her curly locks and emitting an enthusiastic squeal. “You understood Auntie Armita, didn’t you, darling? Okay, let’s go.”

  Sophie bundled the baby into her high-end jogging stroller and put Anubis on his harness. The Doberman was incredibly well-behaved, which was a relief when she imagined trying to manage Ginger, and a stroller, and all the traffic of Honolulu’s busy sidewalks. Maybe God knew that the time just wasn’t right for Sophie to have a dog as challenging to manage as Ginger had always been. Just as important, she knew that Ginger was happy with Tank and Jake, and that eased her mind, too.

  They got on the elevator and were soon out on the sidewalk. Anubis always drew attention with his sleek and regal bearing, and the hint of danger that surrounded his watchful eyes and cocked ears. He was an excellent guardian as well as companion—perfect for her new life.

  Honolulu was winding down for the day. Commuter traffic was brisk, and families were out walking their dogs, jogging and riding bikes in the balmy evening. Sophie trotted along the sidewalk pushing the stroller with Anubis beside her, enjoying the sights and sounds as they headed for Ala Moana Beach Park.

  Momi spotted one of the hot dog vendors who also sold balloons. She shrieked with excitement, waving her chubby arms at the sight of the brightly colored spheres. Sophie steered the stroller over to the hot dog wagon. Anubis, smelling one of his favorite treats, emitted a tiny whine, the only indication she would get from him about what he wanted.

  “I think both of you deserve a treat.” She bought a hot dog and fed the meat to Anubis, and then she bought a bright yellow balloon and tied it to the stroller’s surround.

  Momi yelled with glee, grabbing at the ribbon holding the balloon and batting it with her hands. They resumed their gentle jog toward the ocean.

  Once they reached the beach, Sophie gave Anubis the hand signal to sit and stay, and parked the big-wheeled jogging stroller on the sand. She lifted the baby out, and Momi kicked her legs with excitement as Sophie set her in the sand on her little padded bottom.

  Momi promptly grabbed a handful of sand, and it headed toward her mouth.

  “No, darling. Not for eating,” Sophie said, peeling the baby’s fingers open to let the sand out. Momi squawked in protest, but then spotted an abandoned red plastic shovel a few feet away. She engaged her new skill of crawling to head toward it.

  Sophie sighed. The baby had been so frustrated with wanting things and not being able to get to them in the last month—and now she could, and that brought new challenges. Every time Sophie turned around, it seemed like her daughter had grown exponentially. Her life was too full for her to dwell on much but keeping up with it all—and still, late at night, she woke feeling the emptiness of the bed beside her.

  The sun, lowering towards the horizon, cast golden beams across them as they enjoyed the day’s heat trapped in the sand. Sophie’s gaze wandered out over the ocean, and as she watched her baby, she couldn’t help thinking of Jake. He’d enjoy seeing the gusto with which Momi embraced every new experience—that was how Jake lived, too.

  Jake had left Security Solutions and moved to Kona, where he’d started his own private investigation company. Felicia had gone with him, and Sophie suspected they were living together. With no one available to staff it, Sophie had made the tough executive decision to close the Big Island office. Truth was, she had always suspected that Connor had just opened that extension so that she and Jake would have something to do-over there.

  Alika’s business was thriving on Kaua`i; she had spent a wonderful five months in his guest house, getting her feet under her as a parent and learning the ropes of running Security Solutions virtually, with just a few board and planning meetings she’d flown to Oahu for. Eventually, there had come a point when she needed to step up fully as head of the company, and now she went into the corporate building every day and occupied Connor’s very comfortable office.

  She was just keeping his chair warm for him.

  The camera Rhinehart had installed over the Yām Khûmkạn stronghold doorway had a one-year battery. Every so often, late at night when the baby and Armita were in bed, Sophie logged into the live stream feed channeled through the Security Solutions tablet that had been recovered by the CIA from the gravesite in the jungle.

  She’d traded information about some of Connor’s Ghost cases to McDonald to get access to that video stream, and she di
dn’t regret it—because, once in a while, she would see Connor’s form, taller than the rest of the recruits, moving about in the dining hall where the camera was aimed. Sometimes he’d be seated at one of the long wooden tables, eating a simple meal of beans, rice, and vegetables with the other trainees. She could always pick him out by his build and pale skin, and she looked for any signs of distress.

  There were none.

  Connor laughed with the other men. She saw his mouth moving, his hands gesturing, his ready smile. Whatever had led to the decision to stay at the stronghold, he clearly wasn’t suffering. She had to assume that he hadn’t been coerced, that he’d truly wanted to stay. So, for now, she was content just to check in on him when she could.

  Sophie packed up the baby, cleaning off the sand as best she could, and they headed back in the blue shadows of a warm Honolulu evening. At the Pendragon Arches building, Sophie tried once again to get the sand off the baby’s skin and out of Anubis’s paws before going through the grand lobby with its old-world charm and chandeliers.

  Of the many places that had been available for her and her little party to stay in, she had most wanted something that said “do over,” as her mother had asked for so many months ago. Her old Mary Watson place was too small for her current needs, and so was her father’s place, especially now that he had officially retired and occupied it. The company apartment had made sense, and she had supervised its renovation from Kaua`i.

  Delicious smells greeted them as Sophie unlocked the door again, stepping inside and handing the baby to Armita so that she could deal with the stroller and the dog’s harness—and she never forgot to engage the door’s security measures.

  “My goodness, Momi, all of this sand!” Armita told the baby. She said that every night when they returned, with fond indulgence in her voice. Armita loved bathing Momi, so Sophie didn’t comment as the nanny carried the baby off to the bathroom to be rinsed, changed and dressed.