The Heavier The Chains...

by M. E. Clayton

  I stared up at him and his beauty really was just too much for one person to possess. “What if I’m not?” It was such a girl question to ask, but I wanted to know how he’d feel about that. Cameron and I always used condoms, so this was new for me too.

  Talon shrugged a shoulder and said-rather cavalier like, “Then you’re not.”

  I couldn’t conceal my shock. “That’s it? Then I’m just not?”

  He let out a deep sigh. “What do you want me to say, Kenzlee?” he asked. “There’s nothing we can do about what just happened.”

  “And if I get pregnant?”

  Surprising me again, Talon said softly, “Then I’m going to have the most beautiful little girl ever.”

  The tears fell immediately.

  The sincerity in his voice sounded so real, it made my heart stop.

  This was all too much, too fast. My future was uncertain, and I had no idea where I was going to go in life. I didn’t need Talon making me promises that weren’t his to make.

  Ignoring my emotional meltdown, I told him the truth. “I’m on the shot, so…we’re fine.”

  “Kenzlee-”

  I shook my head, trying to get myself under control, but I was, legit, having an emotional and mental breakdown, and I wasn’t too proud to say so. “Talon, if you don’t get me out of here right this minute, help me find Alex, and let me go home, I’m going to lose my shit.”

  Wisely, he heeded my warning and helped me get home without another word between us.

  Chapter 13

  The cowardice we see in ourselves.

  Kenzlee~

  I lied.

  I was a liar.

  When Talon had taken me back to Alex, and I begged her to go home, the panic on my face had been real enough that she asked no questions and we were out of there without so much as a goodbye, see you later, or fuck off.

  The entire ride home, Alex had wisely kept quiet, but once we got home, she had come into my bedroom and asked me what happened. I hadn’t been able to stop the tears that rushed out and Alex had quietly held me as I cried my heart out.

  When I was finally able to bet myself under control, I had lied and told her I had just been overwhelmed with seeing Cameron and my friends-or ex-friends again. I told her Talon and I had fought over Cameron, and she believed me. Now, while all that was basically true, I left out where I let Talon fuck me up against a tree after fighting against him for days.

  The next morning, I had told Uncle Allen I wasn’t feeling good, but I think Alex told him about us meeting up with Cameron, because the entire family had let me wallow all day long.

  I also ignored the text messages, phone calls, and voicemails from Talon.

  And, now, it was Sunday evening and I’ve been hiding out like a true coward all weekend. I think the only reason Talon hadn’t shown up at my house was, because I had been such an emotional basket case after we had sex, he was probably afraid I’d really lose my shit. And, while I didn’t think he cared if I did end up becoming unhinged, I don’t think he wanted it to happen with an audience. The last thing he probably needed was for my uncle and aunt to find out he piped me in the woods unprotected.

  I had been deleting all of his attempts to reach me as soon as they came through, so I wasn’t tempted when my phone rang, and I saw Julie’s name on the screen.

  “Julie…” I breathed into the phone.

  “Holy crap, girl,” she said, diving right in. “Cameron told me he saw you at some fight thing Friday night. Is that true?”

  I sigh with every bit of emotion only a teenage girl could muster. “It’s true.”

  Julie let out a soft whistle before saying, “He said you looked great.”

  What?

  “He said that?” Seeing as how I wasn’t particularly dressed up, that took me by surprise.

  “Yeah, he said you were looking pretty hot,” she said slyly.

  I snorted, unimpressed. “He was probably expecting me to look like a homeless disaster with my parents losing everything,” I replied, sarcasm dripping from every word.

  Julie laughed, “Probably.” A heartbeat later she said, “He also said you were there with Talon freakin’ Draven, Kenz.”

  “I was not-wait,” I paused. “How do you know Talon?”

  I could feel her rolling her eyes over the phone. “Join the real world, Kenzlee,” she said theatrically. “Everyone knows who Talon Draven is.”

  “Uh, I beg to differ,” I argued. “I had no idea who the guy was until I started going to Lakeside High.”

  “That’s because you’re not the partying type. At least, not outside Providence,” she amended. “I’d bet you money Kaden knew who he was.” The mention of Kaden’s name was a jab to my ribs, but I shook the impact off like I always did.

  God, what I wouldn’t do to have my brother back.

  Switching subjects, I said, “I saw Cameron was there with Jimmy Brent, Holly James, and Kelly Milton. He said Jimmy knew about the fight and they thought it’d be cool to check it out.”

  “Nu uh, girl,” she tsked. “Tell me about you and Talon Draven. Cameron said Talon almost lost his shit when he told him you guys used to date. Cameron said Talon’s buddies had to step in between them.”

  Goddamn Cameron.

  Screw it.

  While this thing with me and Talon wasn’t ideal, I’m pretty sure we’ve past the point of pretending we didn’t affect one another. “We’re dating,” I confirmed. The words came out smoothly, but they tasted foreign on my tongue. And not because I wasn’t used to dating, but because what Talon and I were doing felt way more serious than mere dating.

  “Holy crap, Kenzlee,” Julie squealed. “You have to tell me everything.”

  Her happiness for me was contagious and I couldn’t help but laugh. “What do you want to know?”

  She laughed back. “All the juicy stuff, of course,” she replied.

  Even if I wanted to, there was no way to explain it. Oh, I knew people all over the world believed their love was the only love created from the Heavens, but I knew there was something deeper between me and Talon besides attraction and lust. There was an actual buzzing every time we touched, and I knew that wasn’t normal for everyone.

  “He…he’s a little intense,” I told her truthfully.

  “I bet,” she chuckled. “I’ve only seen him fight once, a couple of years ago, but he was awesome.”

  “Julez, he has an eight-pack,” I said confessing one of my weaknesses.

  She sighed into the phone. “God bless the boy,” she said dreamily.

  “Oh, trust me,” I said, the words escaping before I could yank them back, “God blessed him plenty.”

  There was a second of silence before Julie started laughing over the phone and I joined in. “Oh, my God,” she shrieked.

  Now, I was going to have to tell Alex. It didn’t feel right confiding in Julie and not Alexandria. After all, she’s the one who has been standing by me this entire time. Besides, I was pretty sure Talon was going to announce it to the world tomorrow at school, and I didn’t want Alex feeling blindsided, or left out.

  “Hey,” I said into the phone, “let me call you back later, yeah?”

  “Sure,” Julie replied. “Just make sure your notes are in order, because I want to know everything.” I laughed, and after assuring her I’d dish all the details later, I went in search of Alexandria.

  I found her in the backyard, on the porch, reading. I sat down in the chair next to her. “Where are your parents?”

  She put her book down and looked over at me. “Picking up take-out for dinner,” she replied.

  “Alex…I have something to tell you,” I said nervously.

  She cocked her head at me. “I thought there might be,” she said softly.

  And then I told her everything.

  ∞∞∞

  Talon~

  I was going to kill her.

  I was going to wrap my hands around that slender, delicate, smooth neck of hers and str
angle the life out of her.

  Kenzlee’s been avoiding me since Friday, and the only reason I hadn’t shown up at her place yet was because I knew nothing about Alexandria’s family. For all I knew, her father could be a sheriff, and I didn’t need to be hauled away in handcuffs. But let me find out he was an accountant or some such shit and Kenzlee’s safety net would be gone.

  I’ve spent all weekend drunk off my ass and having Lars and Hunter babysit me from making an ass out of myself. My mind has been consumed with nothing but Kenzlee since I slid out of her Friday night, and I feared I was in real danger of losing my ever lovin’ mind.

  I’d never had sex without a condom before and knowing the risk to my future, I had taken Kenzlee bare, anyway. I hadn’t cared about anything or anyone but her. Our connection had blinded me to all my other responsibilities, and had she not been on protection, I wouldn’t have cared about the repercussions.

  And that terrified me.

  It terrified me because I finally found the one person who exceeded the ranks of my sister and mother, and if Kenzlee changed her mind about us, I’d probably kill her.

  I mean, how would I live without her?

  And if it wasn’t enough that the girl had already taken over my mind, heart, and soul, now that my body knew what it felt like to be inside her, I wasn’t sure how I’d be able to see her every day at school and not just take her.

  Fuck, how I wanted to take her.

  I wanted to own every inch of her and only let her up long enough to catch a breath. And I wanted her to feel the same way about me. I wanted her every waking thought to be of me. I wanted her crippled with the need to ride my cock. I wanted her to fear losing me. I wanted her to see her next fifty years with me. I wanted her to search me out every time I wasn’t near because that’s what the girl did to me.

  She made me fucking crazy.

  And if I’m going to be fucking crazy, well then, she should be too.

  On top of everything else, I had been right about Miss. Manners. Kenzlee had looked magnificent when I was balls deep in her, and I wanted to stare at her like that forever, but sadly, my penis isn’t able to stay erect forever no matter that I had youth on my side. But when she panicked and begged me to take her back to Alex, I almost held her captive by the tree because I had wanted to see it.

  I had wanted to watch Kenzlee break down emotionally and mentally. I wanted to see her trust me with that level of vulnerability. I wanted to witness her collapse and then be the one to put her back together. The only reason I hadn’t was because we had been where we were.

  Kenzlee’s surrender needed to happen in private. It needed to be for my eyes only. Had she broken down, I would have had to take her back to Alex a mess, and I wasn’t going to do that. No matter how close Kenzlee and Alexandria were, all of Kenzlee’s emotions belonged to me. I was going to be the keeper of her weaknesses. And I was going to protect them with my life.

  When she hadn’t answered my text asking if she got home safely on Friday, I had had Hunter get Alex’s number and text her. When she had texted back that they were both home I had gone home and jerked off to the memory of the trees twice before I took a shower and crashed.

  When Kenzlee ignored me all day yesterday, I had called up Lars and Hunter last night and had the lead me to the nearest house party to drink my irritation away. I was on a serious mission to drink myself stupid when Lars had cut me off and I ended up crashing at their place.

  Thankfully, I had the biggest hangover known to man this morning, so I was finally able to concentrate on something other than Kenzlee ignoring my calls and texts. It wasn’t until about two this afternoon that I finally started feeling human again. Luckily, Edie had covered for me and told Mom there was a bug going around and so she made me some soup and Edie had delivered it since Mom couldn’t afford to get sick.

  Now it was Sunday evening and Mom was at work while I was in the kitchen making Edie some dinner and making enough to have leftovers for Mom when she got home. And because my sister didn’t know what boundaries were, she plopped herself down at the kitchen table and asked, “Is it Kenzlee? Is she the reason you were stupid hungover this morning?”

  I didn’t look back at my sister, but I did let out a sigh loud enough to let her know I didn’t appreciate her butting into my business. “Don’t you have homework to do, or extra credit, or something?” I mumbled.

  “Nope,” she sassed back. “I finished it all while you were eating your soup, you poor thing.” I shot her a look over my shoulder. She laughed. “Don’t look at me. That was all Mom.”

  Screw it.

  “Kenzlee’s been ignoring me all weekend,” I confessed.

  “What d’you do, Talon?” my sister said accusatorily.

  “Nothing,” I bit out. “She was at the fights Friday night and…she’s never been to one before.”

  “Dammit, Talon,” she snapped.

  I turned towards and pointed the spatula at her. “Don’t start with me, Edie,” I snapped back. “I’m not going to keep fighting with you about this.”

  “But how can you keep fighting if your girlfriend doesn’t want you fighting either?” she asked.

  “Kenzlee never said she didn’t want me fighting, Edie,” I clarified for her. “I think it was just something she’s not used to, is all.”

  “Then why is she ignoring you?” she spat.

  It was none of her business. But even if it was, I wouldn’t tell her what happened between me and Kenzlee. “Mostly because she’s stubborn as hell, but I’m not worried about it, and neither should you be.”

  “But if she-”

  “That’s enough, Edie!” I barked. “I’m not going to quit fighting no matter what you, Mom, or Kenzlee say. Just because I love you guys does not mean I’ll let you run my life in a different direction. Everything I’m doing I’m doing for you. Don’t forget that.” My sister stared at me, blinking a mile a minute, looking utterly stunned, and it was freaking me out. “What?”

  “You…you just said you loved us,” she uttered.

  “Well, of course, I love you.” What the hell?

  “No,” she stressed. “You said you loved us. You said you loved me, Mom, and Kenzlee.”

  Well, fuck.

  I turned back towards the stove. “Yeah, so?”

  “It’s a good thing, Talon,” Edie said. “Because I think she loves you too.”

  Chapter 14

  The heartache we can’t hide.

  Talon~

  Edie’s words kept me up way past what was a respectable hour last night considering I had had a shitty morning and school the next day, but I found myself staring at the ceiling unable to think about anything else.

  Now, it wasn’t that I believed Kenzlee was in love with me, I seriously doubted she even liked me. She was drawn to me. She felt what I felt whenever we were near each other and that was the only reason she let me in between her thighs Friday night.

  What kept me up last night was how easy it had been to lump her in with my sister and my mom of the list of females I loved. The words had just floated out, and it felt natural saying it. Granted, it wasn’t anything I was going to say to her anytime soon, but the words were there. They existed.

  This morning I had told Lars to go on to first period without me because I had a feeling I was going to be late to class if I even showed up at all. I was leaning against Kenzlee’s locker, waiting for her, refusing to let her ignore me any longer.

  The first warning bell hadn’t even rung yet, so I knew we had some time when I spotted Kenzlee and Alexandria turning the corner and heading towards Kenzlee’s locker. Kenzlee’s feet faltered a bit, but she didn’t turn and run. They both headed my way.

  The second they were within earshot, I said, “Alexandria, can you give me a moment with Kenzlee.”

  I thought she’d fight me on it, but one quick glance at Kenzlee and she was saying, “Sure, Talon. No problem.” She turned towards Kenzlee. “I’ll see you in class.”

&n
bsp; We both watched Alex turn and head towards class before Kenzlee looked at me and asked, “Do you mind?” I was still blocking her locker.

  I stepped to her until her back was pressed up against the lockers. “Yeah, I do fucking mind,” I seethed finally finding an outlet for all the grief she’s caused me these past couple of days. “I mind a hell of a lot, if you must know.”

  “Talon, now is not the t-”

  “Well, then, tell me when is the time, White?” I bit out. “Because it wasn’t Friday, Saturday or fucking Sunday, that’s for sure.”

  “Are you seriously throwing a tantrum, right now,” she hissed, looking around the hallway that was littered with spectators.

  I leaned into her so only she could hear me. “You haven’t even begun to see a tantrum, White,” I warned her. “Now, if you ever ignore me again like you did this weekend, I will show up at your motherfucking house and cause a scene.”

  Kenzlee’s eyes widened at the threat. “Talon, you cannot be serious!”

  “Try me, White,” I challenged. “Now, like a good boyfriend, I gave you time to get ahold of yourself and come to terms with our relationship, but I won’t be doing that a second time, so I suggest you give in gracefully and save us both the headache.”

  Kenzlee straightened to her full height, and swear to God, looked me in the eye as she said, “Friday night didn’t mean-”

  I had my hand around her throat with her body pressed harder into the metal behind her and almost lost my motherfucking mind. “I swear to God, Kenzlee…if you tell me Friday night didn’t mean anything, I will fucking kill you, right here in front of everyone.”

  “Talon,” she whispered sadly, “I wasn’t going to say that.”

  I immediately let go of her neck and crossed my arms over my chest. “Then what the fuck were you going to say?” See? Driving me goddamn crazy.

  Then she had me ready to give up the fight and just hand over my sanity to her on a silver fucking platter when she placed a hand on my chest and said, “I was going to say that Friday night didn’t mean that suddenly I was going to start doing everything you say.”