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by Cavanaugh Lee


  Sent:

  Saturday, June 7, 2008 at 11:25 PM

  From:

  Izabell

  To:

  Inbox ALL

  Subject:

  Peter just proposed! I said yes (obviously)

  To My Entire E-Mail Inbox,

  “Just in cases” (what movie?) I forgot to text someone, I’m sending a mass e-mail out with some very big news:

  Peter just proposed (as in about an hour ago), and I said YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Definitely the happiest girl in the world right now—utter perfection.

  And, the movie quote from above is Love Actually. How apropos.

  —Izzy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  Sent:

  Sunday, June 8, 2008 at 2:45 AM

  From:

  Facebook

  To:

  Izabell

  Subject:

  Relationship Status

  Hi Izabell,

  You have changed your relationship status from “In a Relationship” to “Engaged.”

  Thanks,

  The Facebook Team

  Sent:

  Sunday, June 8, 2008 at 6:34 PM

  From:

  Marty

  To:

  Izabell

  Subject:

  Long Time No Hear, Goddess Iz

  Just got back from the West Coast on a biz trip from San Fran—your city with the beautiful red bridge … Wanted to say hello.

  Hello!

  Hope all is well with you. Maybe we can catch up over a drink this week.

  Yeah, well … I guess I’ll keep trying.

  —Marty!

  Draft:

  Monday, June 9, 2008 at 1:01 AM

  From:

  Peter

  To:

  Izabell

  Subject:

  This e-mail was written but not sent and will save as Draft until further action.

  I’m scared.

  JULY 2008–?: LIFE (SHIT) HAPPENS

  Sent:

  Thursday, July 3, 2008 at 7:38 PM

  From:

  Rose

  To:

  Peter

  Subject:

  Research

  Peter,

  Welcome to the case. I need the following from you by Monday:

  1) Please read the article on Drugs 1-C and 3B-5 and draft a memo on how they relate to liver disease, any possible adverse effects related to the medication we discussed in my office today, as well as comparisons to other similar medications. Be creative.

  2) Please read the articles my secretary left in your office. There should be six boxes of them. I did the math for you ahead of time. Based on my calculations, there are about 5,000 pages of reading. You can easily read up to 900 pages a day since some of those pages are graphs and charts. Thus, you should have the reading done in five days. I’ll give you six.

  3) I also need you to draft an affidavit for Dr. Geary to sign. I need that on my desk by Monday, at the latest.

  4) I also need you to set up a conference call with opposing counsel.

  5) Please also set up the depositions for next week.

  6) We also need to set up some settlement talks. Of course, the likelihood of this settling as of today is minimal. However, we need to do the talks just the same (so we can “appear” as if we are attempting to settle). Please draft a chart regarding the pros/cons of having these discussions in our offices vs. their offices.

  7) I need a declaration from Dr. Lee to sign as well, please.

  It goes without saying that all of the above, our work in general, must be thorough, Peter. We cannot afford to make any mistakes. You are being given a great responsibility. You will be interfacing with me, a very established partner, as well as other respected attorneys here. You will also be directly communicating with the client. As most business these days is conducted via e-mail, you must make sure that your e-mails are not only well drafted, but also perfect as they are the face of the firm to the outside world. This even goes for five-word e-mails. If you’re unsure about your e-mail work product—save it as a draft and reread it over and over again until you’re sure. Don’t send anything until you’re sure.

  I cannot stress enough that this is a case of great magnitude and weight here at the firm. Our firm prides itself on going above and beyond. I trust that you understand this. Call with questions. I will be on vacation for the 4th of July weekend and will have limited access to BlackBerry and cell, but I will check messages regularly several times a day.

  I hope you enjoy your July 4th weekend.

  I need all of this completed by Monday (except, of course, the 5,000 pages of reading. You have until Thursday to complete that, and please make sure to draft a detailed report of what you read.).

  —Rose

  Sent:

  Thursday, July 3, 2008 at 7:45 PM

  From:

  Rose

  To:

  Peter

  Subject:

  Research

  Peter,

  I forgot one additional item. Please research any articles that I may have missed. You can do this using both Westlaw and Google as well as any medical web sites of which you are aware. We cannot miss anything, Peter.

  —Rose

  Sent:

  Friday, July 4, 2008 at 6:07 AM

  From:

  Rose

  To:

  Peter

  Subject:

  Research

  Peter,

  One other issue we really need to address is that of the contrasting and comparative factors between all of the plaintiffs. Since this is a massive class action suit, we need to prepare a chart with all 300 plaintiffs comparing and contrasting their liver conditions. Please make sure to put this on your calendar. I don’t need this by Monday, but I will need it soon. While I recognize that this is well in advance of our hearing in December, I cannot impress upon you the urgency of crossing our Ts and dotting our Is now. We need to get these items done now. This is so that we can spend the two months prior to the hearing fine-tuning every little detail 24-7.

  John will be contacting you on Monday with additional things we need from you.

  Happy 4th of July.

  —Rose

  Sent:

  Friday, July 4, 2008 at 6:14 AM

  From:

  Rose

  To:

  Peter

  Subject:

  Research

  Need cover letters to Dr. Geary and Lee as well.

  Sent:

  Friday, July 4, 2008 at 8:09 AM

  From:

  Rose

  To:

  Peter

  Subject:

  Research

  Make sure to spell-check. Goes without saying. Have your secretary and my secretary read all of your work ten times over. Don’t hesitate to call them tonight or tomorrow. They’re fine working on the weekends. Everyone who works for me is.

  —Rose

  Sent:

  Friday, July 4, 2008 at 9:34 AM

  From:

  Rose

  To:

  Peter

  Subject:

  Research

  Don’t forget to send me the chart I asked for. The earlier the better.

  Draft:

  Monday, July 4, 2008 at 11:06 AM

  From:

  Peter

  To:

  Rose

  Subject:

  Re: Research

  This e-mail was written but not sent and will save as Draft until further action.

  Rose,

  I’m unsure as to exactly what you want from your listed items. Can you clarify? I want to make sure I get this 100% correct as I realize how important it is. Perhaps we can discuss over a conference call this afternoon? In the meantime, I’ll start immediately on the items that I understand.

  Best,

  Peter

  Sent:

  Friday, July 4, 2008 at 11:26 AM

  From:

&
nbsp; Peter

  To:

  Rose

  Subject:

  Re: Research

  Rose,

  I am on top of everything. Please let me know if you need anything else. I am 100% available.

  I’ll be in touch,

  Peter

  Sent:

  Friday, July 4, 2008 at 3:34 PM

  From:

  Izabell

  To:

  Mom

  Subject:

  Wedding Stuff

  Mums,

  I’m taking advantage of the holiday weekend to start planning the wedding. Peter and I have been trying to figure out where to hold it for the past month. My dream, as you know, has always been to have my wedding in the heart of San Francisco, but Peter’s not keen on that idea. He wants something more elegant, like a winery in Napa or by the sea in Carmel. I’m OK about those ideas, I suppose (although I’m still pushing for the City by the Bay and the last thing I am is “elegant”, bleah). Anywhooo, can you call around and see if any wineries are free in February and March 2009? Those are the months we’re thinking …

  Love ya!

  —Your (ENGAGED) daughter

  Sent:

  Friday, July 4, 2008 at 4:52 PM

  From:

  Mom

  To:

  Izabell

  Subject:

  Re: Wedding Stuff

  Izabell,

  Relationships are about compromise, but if you have your heart set on San Francisco tell Peter that. I’m sure he’ll understand. I’ll do as you ask though and look up wineries in the meantime … Are you excited?

  Love,

  Your Mums

  Sent:

  Friday, July 4, 2008 at 5:39 PM

  From:

  Izabell

  To:

  Mom

  Subject:

  More Wedding Stuff

  I am excited. Oh, btw, since you are so good at planning parties, etc. I was hoping you could help make the big decisions for the wedding: color scheme, flowers, menu, organizational structure, the list goes on. I know you’ll make those decisions much better than I would, because you’re just so darn good at it! Plus, I know you’ll enjoy doing it.

  My only requirements are an open bar and a live band. Oh, and I want as much yellow everywhere as possible since yellow is my favorite color, and I’ve already decided the bridesmaids will be wearing yellow (in fact, I picked out their dresses today!!!). Last thing, I know that I definitely want a rib eye steak on the menu since just about everyone I know loves steak. Oh, and the wine should be good wine—not too expensive, obviously, but definitely solid wine. And, dry champagne (as opposed to sweet champagne) for the toast! Most of all, I want everyone to have a blast!!! I will pay for the things that will ensure that everyone will have a blast (open bar and live band haha).

  Oh, and I’ll pick the dress. ;-)

  Love ya!!!!

  —Your (still engaged) daughter

  Sent:

  Friday, July 4, 2008 at 6:39 PM

  From:

  Izabell

  To:

  Peter

  Subject:

  ???

  Hello my love,

  Are you still at the office? Left several VMs for you, but haven’t heard a peep. Thought you said you’d be home by 4-ish. We’re about to miss the fireworks …

  I made pie (no promises on how it turned out—it’s my first pie)! And … I’ve been wedding planning!!!!!!!

  —Izzy

  Sent:

  Friday, July 4, 2008 at 7:09 PM

  From:

  Izabell

  To:

  Peter

  Subject:

  Hello? Alive?

  Where the heck are you? It’s the 4th of July!!!!! Are you alive?

  SMS From: Izabell (Mobile)

  July 4, 2008 8:39 PM

  If u don’t call me in 5 mins, am calling police regarding ur whereabouts. Not kidding.

  Sent:

  Friday, July 4, 2008 at 9:38 PM

  From:

  Peter

  To:

  Izabell

  Subject:

  Sorry

  Hey Baby,

  Sorry, I’m stuck here working. I’m not going to make it home for the fireworks. Go see them without me. Call Elizabeth, I’m sure she and PJ would love to have you join them. I’ll be home late.

  —Peter

  Sent:

  Friday, July 4, 2008 at 9:41 PM

  From:

  Izabell

  To:

  Peter

  Subject:

  Re: Sorry

  You’re kidding, right?

  Sent:

  Friday, July 4, 2008 at 10:11 PM

  From:

  Peter

  To:

  Izabell

  Subject:

  Re: Sorry

  No, I’m not kidding. I’m really sorry. I have to work. There’s nothing I can do about it. Rose needs this stuff by Monday. I have no choice.

  Sent:

  Sunday, July 6, 2008 at 5:39 PM

  From:

  Izabell

  To:

  Annette, Brooke

  cc:

  Elizabeth

  Subject:

  The Dress …

  WeddingDressPix-1[1].jpg (1617KB)

  Netty and Brookey!!!!!!!

  Well, I did it. I went out and bought my dream dress today. Elizabeth came with me. It’s just gorgeous. I almost didn’t get it. It was down to two dresses: One that was more “Peter” (elegant, classic, simple), and one that was TOTALLY ME (quirky and fun with long dangly rosebuds everywhere and slightly a mess, haha). I nearly bought the “Peter” dress, and then I thought to myself: “This is MY wedding, and I’m going to buy the dress that fits my personality since I’m the one who has to wear it!” So, I bought the dress that is me instead. I’m hoping Peter will love it just the same!

  He’s been working all weekend so it’s left me with lots of time to get into full wedding mode.

  I’m attaching a picture of me in the dress that I had them take when I was trying it on. I scanned it in for you!!

  Sent:

  Sunday, July 6, 2008 at 6:16 PM

  From:

  Annette

  To:

  Izabell, Brooke

  cc:

  Elizabeth

  Subject:

  Re: The Dress …

  I love the dress—very “you.”

  And, here is this week’s “Top Crazy Match E-mail” to Annette (I don’t think ANYONE will be able to top this Crazy, ever—I am actually considering reporting him to the Match authorities):

  Annette,

  Are you nuts? You don’t have to be, but if you’re both brilliant and a bit nuts, well, that helps. I got this out about three years ago, and I’m trying to get back this summer. Hemingway said the smart set stood on the verandas, drank red wine, and watched the nuts run with the bulls. Fine. Why can’t we be both?

  Bulls

  Nuts

  The annual running of the bulls in Pamplona, Spain, starts every July 7 at 8 AM. Usually six to eight bulls are released for the 900- meter run to the ring. Originally there was no room to house the bulls. Hence, the need for corralling the bulls at one end of town and fighting the bulls at the other and running the bulls between. The bulls first ran in 1591.

  Until the movie version of Hemingway’s The Sun Also Rises was released fifty years ago, the eight o’clock runs rarely had more than 150 crazies each morning. Now, the whole world is watching thousands run. The first morning, the opening run, is the most important, and I made it my business to make it. A rational reason to run—and it’s true—is to see your running buddies, the bulls, killed that night in the opening bull fights of the fiesta.

  The rocket went up at 8. Do you like rockets? Another rocket, just a minute later, went up to tell us all the bulls were on the street. We ran like bats out of hell. Rocket!!

  With us was a third American
crazy, a practiced bull runner from Kentucky. He told us not to move forward until we heard the first rocket and not to break out with any speed until the second. Rocket! We waited in a turn of the 25-foot-wide cobblestoned street I dubbed Dead Man’s Curve, where the street forced the bulls and the crazies to first veer left and then take a sharp turn right, all within fifty feet or so. The safe strategy says to always turn on the inside because the bulls tended to turn wide.

  Firstcomer’s quandary: How do you cross the street in front of the charging bulls to take two consecutive turns on the inside? Rocket! The answer lay in injury, sometimes death. We did it and we got away with it, and we drank the rest of the day, even while six of my running buddies got the sword in the back and through the heart that night.

  Rocket!

  E-mail back if you’re nuts and a bull. I am both.

  Sent:

  Sunday, July 6, 2008 at 6:29 PM

  From:

  Izabell

  To:

  Annette, Elizabeth, Brooke

  Subject:

  Re: The Dress …

  OMFG, he’s CRAZY. Take it from an online dating expert (not), do NOT respond under any circumstances.

  Come to think of it, if memory serves, that eHarm dude, Marty, ran with the bulls in Spain … I remember it being on his initial profile … hmm …

 

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