Book Read Free

Save as Draft

Page 24

by Cavanaugh Lee


  You have changed your relationship status from “Engaged” to “Single.”

  Thanks, The Facebook Team

  Sent:

  Wednesday, November 19, 2008 at 11:43 AM

  From:

  Facebook

  To:

  Izabell

  Subject:

  Rory commented on your new status …

  Rory Justice commented on your new status:

  “Alerting the male sex: Izzy’s single again now! Whoooooeeeey!”

  To see the comment thread, follow the link below: http://facebook.com/?profilid&ed=14524=feed&story=e942nidiv34

  Thanks,

  The Facebook Team

  Sent:

  Wednesday, November 19, 2008 at 11:46 AM

  From:

  Facebook

  To:

  Izabell

  Subject:

  Justin commented on your new status …

  Justin Carlson commented on your new status:

  “Really? Too bad, Izzy!”

  To see the comment thread, follow the link below: http://facebook.com/?profilid&ed=589385=feed&story=e942nidiv34

  Thanks,

  The Facebook Team

  Sent:

  Wednesday, November 19, 2008 at 11:53 AM

  From:

  Facebook

  To:

  Izabell

  Subject:

  Kimberly commented on your new status …

  Kimberly Hartley commented on your new status:

  “OMG Izzy, are you OK? Do you need anything? How are you handling it? I’m so sorry!!!!”

  To see the comment thread, follow the link below: http://facebook.com/?profilid&ed=2785=feed&story=e942nidiv34

  Thanks,

  The Facebook Team

  Sent:

  Wednesday, November 19, 2008 at 12:01 PM

  From:

  Izabell

  To:

  Elizabeth, Annette, Brooke

  Subject:

  OMFG HELP!!!!!!!!!!

  OMFG HELP!!!! ANSWER YOUR PHONE!!! SOMEONE, AT LEAST E-MAIL ME BACK ASAP. I CHANGED MY FUCKING RELATIONSHIP STATUS ON FACEBOOK AND FORGOT TO HIT THE “HIDE STATUS CHANGE” SETTING AND NOW I CAN’T FIND THE FUCKING THING. HELP!!!! WHERE’S THAT SETTING CHANGE? IS IT UNDER PRIVACY? OR ACCOUNT SETTINGS??? I CAN’T FUCKING FIND IT AND NOW MY NEWLY SINGLED STATUS IS PUBLISHED FOR THE WORLD TO SEE AND PEOPLE ARE WRITING ON MY WALL LEFT AND RIGHT!!!!!!!!

  Sent:

  Wednesday, November 19, 2008 at 12:08 PM

  From:

  Annette

  To:

  Izabell

  Subject:

  Re: OMFG HELP!!!!!!!!!!

  Calling you now. Pick up! Will walk u thru it.

  Sent:

  Wednesday, November 19, 2008 at 8:32 PM

  From:

  Peter

  To:

  Izabell

  Subject:

  How Kind of You …

  … to publish on Facebook to all of our friends and acquaintances and people we don’t even know the fact that our engagement is off.

  —Peter

  Sent:

  Thursday, November 20, 2008 at 9:33 AM

  From:

  Izabell

  To:

  Elizabeth

  Subject:

  Spare Room

  The living situation is getting ugly. I threw a candle at him last night (bad, I know—from a legal perspective, that’s basically assault and battery). Anyway, so I don’t become a felon in the next week, I think my safest bet is to stay at your pad until Thanksgiving, at which point I’ll head to SF to spend it with my family. Is that still OK? I feel really bad about intruding on you and PJ. But, I don’t think I have another option. Maybe you can put your mom and me in the same room, and we can eat potato chips in bed while bitching about our exes?

  Sent:

  Thursday, November 20, 2008 at 10:12 AM

  From:

  Elizabeth

  To:

  Izabell

  Subject:

  Re: Spare Room

  Hooray!!!!!!!! Let’s buy a bottle of expensive champagne to celebrate tonight.

  Sent:

  Thursday, November 20, 2008 at 5:22 PM

  From:

  Izabell

  To:

  Elizabeth

  Subject:

  Re: Spare Room

  Not really in the celebrating mood. Think I’ll just go to sleep early, if that’s OK.

  Sent:

  Friday, November 21, 2008 at 11:11 AM

  From:

  Peter

  To:

  Izabell

  Subject:

  I see

  That you are sleeping elsewhere. Please tell me where you are presently sleeping so that I don’t have to worry about your whereabouts.

  Sent:

  Friday, November 21, 2008 at 11:21 AM

  From:

  Izabell

  To:

  Peter

  Subject:

  Re: I see

  You were never home when I was living there so this really shouldn’t be any different than before. I’m surprised you even noticed.

  Sent:

  Sunday, November 23, 2008 at 2:12 PM

  From:

  Marty

  To:

  Izabell

  Subject:

  It’s Just Coffee

  Iz,

  A few random things that should be said (even though I’m supposed to be giving you “space” while you work through your broken engagement) … and even if you won’t return my e-mails or calls …

  Since you like movie quotes, here’s one for you:

  PARRISH: Do you love Drew?

  SUSAN: … There’s a start for a meeting.

  PARRISH: I know it’s none of my business … (Susan doesn’t answer for a moment, then impulsively kisses her father on the cheek.)

  PARRISH: Do you love Drew?

  SUSAN: You mean like you loved Mom?

  PARRISH: Forget about me and Mom—are you going to marry him?

  SUSAN: Probably. (A moment.)

  PARRISH: (smiles) Susan, you’re a hell of a woman. You’ve got a great career, you’re beautiful …

  SUSAN: And, I’m your daughter and no man will ever be good enough for me.

  PARRISH: Listen, I’m crazy about the guy—He’s smart, he’s aggressive, he could carry Parrish Communications into the 21st century and me along with it.

  SUSAN: So what’s wrong with that?

  PARRISH: That’s for me. I’m talking about you. It’s not so much what you say about Drew, it’s what you don’t say. Not an ounce of excitement, not a whisper of a thrill, this relationship has all the passion of a pair of titmice.

  SUSAN: Don’t get dirty, Dad—

  PARRISH: Well, it worries me. I want you to get swept away. I want you to levitate. I want you to sing with rapture and dance like a dervish.

  SUSAN: That’s all?

  PARRISH: Be deliriously happy. Or at least leave yourself open to be.

  SUSAN: “Be deliriously happy.” I’m going to do my utmost. (He smiles.)

  PARRISH: I know it’s a cornball thing but love is passion, obsession, someone you can’t live without. If you don’t start with that, what are you going to end up with? I say fall head over heels. Find someone you can love like crazy and who’ll love you the same way back. And, how do you find him? Forget your head and listen to your heart. I’m not hearing any heart. (A moment.) Run the risk, if you get hurt, you’ll come back. Because, the truth is, there is no sense living your life without this. To make the journey and not fall deeply in love—well, you haven’t lived a life at all. You have to try. Because if you haven’t tried, you haven’t lived.

  SUSAN: Give it to me again. The short version.

  PARRISH: Stay open. Who knows? Lightning could strike.

  First, what movie? Second, I think this is a very apt quote for us. Why?

  “Because I like you so much.�
�� (Another quote from the same movie.)

  —Marty

  P.S. “How ’bout a cup of coffee? Please, what do you say, one cup of coffee?” (Yet another quote from the same movie.)

  Sent:

  Sunday, November 23, 2008 at 2:31 PM

  From:

  Dad

  To:

  Izabell

  Subject:

  I love you very much. You’re my whole world, kiddo.

  —Dad

  Sent:

  Sunday, November 23, 2008 at 2:45 PM

  From:

  Izabell

  To:

  Marty

  Subject:

  Re: It’s Just Coffee

  Marty,

  Why do you always have to be so damn clever?

  I can’t be mad at you anymore. You win. How about a cup of coffee before I head to SF for Thanksgiving? I’m up for a friendly cup of coffee.

  Let me know,

  Iz

  P.S. The movie is Meet Joe Black.

  P.P.S. Your e-mail slightly resembled a very special e-mail I got from my father not so long ago … and, it nearly made me cry.

  Sent:

  Sunday, November 23, 2008 at 2:48 PM

  From:

  Marty

  To:

  Izabell

  Subject:

  Re: It’s Just Coffee

  Wow. This is what you call stalking? ;-) We need to work on that just a bit.I’d love to meet you for a cup of coffee.

  —Martin

  P.S. Why were you mad at me?

  Sent:

  Thursday, November 27, 2008 at 5:18 PM

  From:

  Mother

  To:

  Peter

  Subject:

  Thanksgiving Dinner

  Peter,

  Are you eating a real Thanksgiving dinner? Please tell me you have someone to eat dinner with. Is Izabell enjoying her Thanksgiving? It’s too bad she couldn’t stay in town to be with you so that you wouldn’t be alone. Your father and I are a little concerned about your work. We think we should schedule a family talk. This is no way to live. I understand you feel that you have financial responsibilities from graduate school and law school, but even people with responsibilities need to have a life. Please call me tonight.

  Happy Thanksgiving!

  Love,

  Mother

  Sent:

  Thursday, November 27, 2008 at 6:17 PM

  From:

  Mother

  To:

  Peter

  Subject:

  Re: Thanksgiving Dinner

  Peter,

  Why won’t you answer your phone? Every time I called you today, it just rings and rings. Please call me. I know that you carry your BlackBerry with you religiously so I know that you receive all my e-mails immediately. Your father and I are worried about you all alone tonight for Thanksgiving. Please call us soon.

  Love,

  Mother

  Sent:

  Thursday, November 27, 2008 at 9:19 PM

  From:

  Peter

  To:

  Mother

  Subject:

  Re: Thanksgiving Dinner

  If it’s OK, I just don’t feel like talking tonight. I’ve got a lot of work to do so don’t worry about me being all alone on Thanksgiving.

  Sent:

  Thursday, November 27, 2008 at 9:24 PM

  From:

  Mother

  To:

  Peter

  Subject:

  Re: Thanksgiving Dinner

  Who has to work ON Thanksgiving? This is no life, Peter.

  Draft:

  Thursday, November 27, 2008 at 9:34 PM

  From:

  Peter

  To:

  Mother

  Subject:

  Re: Thanksgiving Dinner

  This e-mail was written but not sent and will save as Draft until further action.

  Mother,

  Izzy and I are not getting married. Can you please stop e-mailing me? I really just need to be left alone right now.

  Peter

  Sent:

  Thursday, November 27, 2008 at 9:36 PM

  From:

  Peter

  To:

  Mother

  Subject:

  Re: Thanksgiving Dinner

  And, I know what you’re going to say, but I did everything I could to make it work. And, even if I didn’t, maybe it wasn’t meant to be to begin with. So now, please, just leave me alone. I need to get some work done.

  —Peter

  Sent:

  Thursday, November 27, 2008 at 9:38 PM

  From:

  Mother

  To:

  Peter

  Subject:

  Re: Thanksgiving Dinner

  Peter,

  What are you talking about? Are you and Izzy having problems? Call us immediately.

  Mother

  Sent:

  Thursday, November 27, 2008 at 9:39 PM

  From:

  Peter

  To:

  Mother

  Subject:

  Re: Thanksgiving Dinner

  Sorry, I accidentally sent that e-mail to you. It was meant for someone else, and it’s about work—not Izzy and me. We’re fine. I’m fine. Please delete that e-mail.

  Peter

  Sent:

  Friday, November 28, 2008 at 11:49 PM

  From:

  Peter

  To:

  Jenny

  Subject:

  Happy Thanksgiving

  Hey There,

  Long time no talk. Since our break up, I guess. My fault entirely. I just wanted to wish you a Happy Thanksgiving. I hope you’re well. You may have heard by now that Izzy broke off our engagement about a month ago. It’d be great if we could talk …

  Best,

  Peter

  DECEMBER 2008: REVELATIONS (KINDA)

  Sent:

  Monday, December 1, 2008 at 7:18 AM

  From:

  Marty

  To:

  Izabell

  Subject:

  19 Days and Counting!

  Hey Beautiful,

  So, I’m 19 days and counting …

  Will you need help moving into your new ONE-bedroom apartment? I can take that entire Friday off from work, if need be. Just let me know. I can take the entire weekend off as well to help you unpack. I’m all yours from here on out, just say the word.

  I bought you some apartment-warming gifts. Just a few things that I know you’ll love. And, speaking of gifts, when are we exchanging Christmas presents? I have a few (OK, more than a few) items that I am very much looking forward to giving you. I put a lot of thought into each and every one of them which I know you’ll appreciate. So, before or after Christmas? Since we’re celebrating New Year’s Eve together, how about then? Although I don’t know if I can wait. Thoughts?

  Like I said, I’m 19 days and counting until you’re officially my girlfriend!

  Love,

  Your Martin

  Sent:

  Monday, December 1, 2008 at 9:12 AM

  From:

  Izabell

  To:

  Elizabeth, Annette, Brooke

  Subject:

  Re: Talk

  See below. I have underlined and bolded the relevant portions for further discussion. I have enlarged the font of two integral (and scary as all hell) words as well.

  ----------Forwarded message----------

  Sent:

  Monday, December 1, 2008 at 7:18 AM

  From:

  Marty

  To:

  Izabell

  Subject:

  19 Days and Counting!

  Hey Beautiful,

  So, I’m 19 days and counting …

  Will you need help moving into your new ONE-bedroom apartment? I can take that entire Friday off from work, if need be. Just let me know. I can take the entire weekend off as well to help you unpack. I’m
all yours from here on out, just say the word.

  I bought you some apartment-warming gifts. Just a few things that I know you’ll love. And, speaking of gifts, when are we exchanging Christmas presents? I have a few (OK, more than a few) items that I am very much looking forward to giving you. I put a lot of thought into each and every one of them which I know you’ll appreciate. So, before or after Christmas? Since we’re celebrating New Year’s Eve together, how about then? Although I don’t know if I can wait. Thoughts?

  Like I said, I’m 19 days and counting until you’re officially my girlfriend!

  Love,

  Your Martin

  Sent:

  Monday, December 1, 2008 at 9:13 AM

  From:

  Izabell

  To:

  Elizabeth, Annette, Brooke

  Subject:

  WTF

  WHAT THE FUCK??????

  Let’s run through this in order here:

  First, how does he NOT realize how painful moving into my own apartment is going to be, after having lived with my now-defunct fiancé? And, that I’d obviously want to be ALONE during that weekend?!

  Second, I hadn’t realized we were exchanging Christmas gifts. I had already bought a bunch of Christmas gifts for Peter. Do I give them to Marty? I think not.

  Third, what does he mean “I put a lot of thought into each and every one of them”? What does that mean??????

 

‹ Prev