Cat of the Century

by Rita Mae Brown

  Ill put them in the kitchen for you. Well, actually, Ill take them back out to the car and put them in the shopping bags, Harry offered.

  Later. Ive made us a light lunch. Come on, Fair. Wont take but a minute, and I know you can eat.

  Now, Inez, you shouldnt be making lunch for us.

  Fair, Id rather wear out than rust out. She had a lilt in her voice.

  Light lunch? Harry exclaimed as a poached salmon was removed from the oven.

  What we need on a cold day.

  Harry put out the plates as Inez sliced the fish. The escaping aroma of hollandaise made her hungry. An endive salad and new potatoes with parsley completed the meal.

  Fair fed the animals, putting chewies next to the dogs dishes. He knew where everything was in this house. Better to have their noses in food bowls than have them bedeviling you for food while you ate.

  The humans ate while reviewing the amazing events. Comments on the incredible weather inevitably crept into the conversation. Harry talked about her plans for her second-year Petit Manseng grapes, her sunflowers, and the corn Bubba Wickham had told her to plant this year.

  Ambrosia, a better corn than Silver Queen? Inez was incredulous.

  Bubba and Donna Wickham farmed right outside Montpeliernot Montpelier Station, which was up in Orange County and home of the Madisons, but Montpelier in Hanover County, not far from Richmond. Even Virginians not from Hanover County and counties close by could get confused. Everybody knew Bubba and Donna. The two were the local sitcom: funny, occasionally outrageous, and plain good people.

  You know his exact words when I told him I was going to plant Silver Queen? Harry ate so much salmon she could feel her waist expanding. Dont dirty your mouth with Silver Queen. You put in Ambrosia. Now, you listen to Bubba, you hear?

  She did, too. He was one of the best farmers around, and Harry admired a good farmer the way a suburban teenager admired the rock star of the moment.

  Fair and Inez repaired to the living room while Harry stacked the dishwasher and turned it on. She entered the living room to find her husband and Inez smoking contraband Cuban cigars. Diplomaticos was the brand.

  Would you like one? Inez offered.

  No thanks.

  Nothing like a good smoke after a meal. I so look forward to it, Inez confessed. Didnt bring any to William Woods because I knew Big Mim would get her nose out of joint. As it was, Tally and I had to sneak cigarettes. Tally wont smoke a cigar, either. I tell her shes a wimp.

  Fair tilted his head back and blew three consecutive smoke rings. If I could blow five Id have the Olympic symbol.

  Wouldnt you run out of wind? Tucker inquired.

  He might, but Aunt Tally wouldnt if she smoked one. Mrs. Murphy laughed.

  After the relaxing time in the deep-seated chairs, Fair checked his watch, the inexpensive Fossil brand. Few vets wore costly watches while on the job. Time to throw your bags in the Volvo.

  I wouldnt mind a ride in the Volvo. Inez smiled. Come on, Erno.

  A road trip! Erno was joyous.

  With Bubble Butt. Pewter indicated Tucker, who pointedly ignored her.

  Mrs. Murphy chastised her friend. Pewter, its a long way home.

  Cats are supposed to stick together, Murph.

  It took fifteen minutes to pack up and lock up.

  Erno gaily jumped into the back of the Volvo.

  Harry, you sit up front next to Fair. Inez opened the back door.

  Inez, Im going to take a nap. I didnt sleep too well last night. Something was moving around outside and Tucker wouldnt shut up.

  It was a bear, Tucker defended herself.

  On the way west on 250, Inez said to both of them, Thank you for this.

  Ha. You think were being nice. Were being selfish. Youll reorganize my house and barn for the better. Im no fool.

  Harry rolled up her coat for a pillow.

  Inez enjoyed being teased. Are you inferring that Im an old version of Martha Stewart?

  No. Im saying it flat out. Harry giggled.

  A Volvo full of happy people and animals rode back to Crozet. Despite all, they truly enjoyed one another.

  I told you about Lizs email? Inez asked.

  Did. Fair responded.

  I hope shes not the next victim, Inez said.

  On Sunday, April 5, the weather turned back toward winter. Sleet drove from the northwest, and the temperature hung near thirty-five degrees. Residents of central Virginia usually figured the last frost would be by April 15. Sometimes Mother Nature would fool you; a mid-April snowstorm was unusual but not rare. However, snow in April was often deep and very cold.

  Harry, like most farmers, preferred snow to sleet. Although the mercury dipped lower for snow, it always felt warmer.

  Cooper kept the fire going in the fireplace in her simple living room. Harry had filled in Cooper on everything that she knew to date, and Cooper, having seen the photos of Flo, was hooked on the case.

  Inez okay?

  Harry replied, Horrified but okay. Shes not one to embroider a disaster.

  Coopers hand found Mrs. Murphys head as the cat squeezed between the two humans. Hmm.

  Any ideas?

  No. The Fulton police department was more helpful than St. Louiss. Big-city departments usually look down their nose at us country folks. I have no right to know facts from this case, as it doesnt involve anyone in our county. I explained my concern, but they waved me off, so to speak. I understand it, but its damned frustrating.

  Thanks to her position, Inez has been able to check alumnae accounts. Nothing has been touched. I told you that Mariahs treasurer, right?

  You did. Know anything about Flos private account yet?

  No. Given Dicks grief, no one connected to the board or college has inquired about Flos finances or personal life.

  Cooper stretched out her long legs, propping them up on the battle-scarred but sturdy coffee table. This is like every other crime. Some are open-and-shut. Once you know the motive, things always make sense. You look at a persons finances, then business dealings, then sex life. Given Flos intended expose of Mariah, that provides a clear motive.

  Its a good thing Mariahs in hiding, because its all over the news. The murder, I mean.

  I tapped in to the Kansas City news. Saw the shuttered doors at Fletcher, Maitland, and DAngelo. Boy, what a mess.

  Gayle Lampe called Inez and said Mariahs business partner swears hes innocent and doesnt know where she is.

  You saw them a little. Whatd you think? Cooper inquired.

  Nothing really. Mariah and Flo both looked like two well-groomed, successful Midwestern ladies.

  As opposed to Southern ladies? Cooper appreciated the purr coming from Mrs. Murphy.

  Cooper, we tend to be flamboyant in the South. Then you get to Texas and theyre over the top. Fun, though.

  Its the hair. Cooper laughed. Those Texas girls do big hair.

  Pewter, on her side in front of the fire screen, was dead to the world. Tucker, also out cold, lay back to back with the gray cat.

  Ive racked my brain; Fair has, too. I even wondered for a flash if the hostility between Flo and Mariah wasnt put on. Were they in on the scam together, and then Flo betrayed Mariah to cover her own butt? But Inez reinforced that they really had hated each other since 1970, when both were freshmen at William Woods.

  Harry, if Flo was a partner in crime, she wouldnt have betrayed Mariah to cover her butt, she would have killed her.

  Oh, Harry blinked. Lets just suppose Mariah is dead. Who would kill her and Flo?

  Cooper looked out the window, the small handblown panes decorated with frost around the edges. Whoever has the most to lose. The emails point to Mariah being alive or whoever is sending them is a convincing double. Mariah did have the most to lose.

  Right. Sometimes my mind just goes places, you know, like what if? Harry propped her own legs up on the battered coffee table, something that would have drawn a sharp word from her very proper mother.

 
She changed the subject. Isnt it strange? For the last ten years weve had some heavy snows, but not like when I was little. This year its been like old times.

  Is Terri Kincaid a board member? Cooper returned to the subject.

  No. She heads the Charlottesville alumnae chapter. Liz is grooming Terri. Thats what Inez thinks. The fighting between Flo and Mariah dimmed Lizs desire to stay on the board. Then, too, given the economy, she probably wants to devote herself completely to business.

  Sensible.

  This thing is worldwide. Its scary.

  Yep, but it will be patched up and the fundamental changes avoided. Thats how I see it. Cooper paused.

  And you know, sooner or later, the day of true reckoning will come. Always does.

  Well, no one wants to know what a sheriffs deputy thinks about the worlds confusion.

  I do. And I truly want to know what you think about the confusion in Missouri. Do you think Inez is in danger?

  No. Well, let me amend that. It doesnt appear that Inez or any other board member is threatened by what looks like an old hate that finally ended in murder. But it wouldnt hurt to be a little cautious until Mariah surfaces.

  Harry felt her feet growing warmer from proximity to the fire. She could be out of the country.

  Yeah, but sooner or later, people do turn up. Get found.

  Never found Ralston Peaveys murderer. I told you about his granddaughter? Harry thought she had.

  You did. Out of curiosity, Ill pull that old file, Cooper said.

  Not trying to be argumentative about murderers showing up.

  I know. But Ralston Peaveys killer didnt communicate. Mariah has. That means ego. Im telling you, sooner or later, shell make a misstep, and wham!

  Her husband says he doesnt know where she is.

  Hey, Harry, maybe hes looking for her, too. Cooper smiled.

  Do you have milk, cereal, anything for breakfast? Harry changed the subject. You might not get out tomorrow.

  Let me check if the milk is still good. Bought it just before I left. Cooper walked into the kitchen.

  Lifting her head, Pewter called out, Tuna.

  Im okay for breakfast. Cooper returned and sat next to Harry. Can you keep Inez close?

  Up to a point. I dont want her out in the weather when I do my chores. She can sit in the tack room if you think the house is too far away.

  Usually you hear a vehicle drive up. Tucker certainly does. Im sure shes safe in the house. But keep her near. Ill call Little Mim and Blair, too, to check regularly on Aunt Tally. This really will all clear up, but criminals who taunt are often imaginative. They crave publicitynot that theres much for her here. Still From Aunt Tallys point of view, this certainly has made her hundredth-birthday celebration unique.

  Youre terrible. Harry lightly punched her.

  I know. Cooper laughed.

  Good windshield wipers, Inez commented as the Volvo wipers cleared away tiny driving snowflakes.

  Over the course of the day, the temperature had fluctuated between twenty-one and thirty-three degrees. The precipitation came down as tiny little snow bits. When the mercury dropped, the bits blossomed into slightly larger snowflakes. Harry replied, You need only one worn-out pair of windshield wipers to realize you need good ones.

  Couldnt help but notice the double windshield wipers you have on the old Ford. Gold lame, Inez teased her.

  Fair made me get silver for the dually. He said hes not driving around in a truck with gold windshield wipers. I said, But you wear pink. He said hes man enough to wear pink but he cant do gold windshield wipers. Actually, I almost bought purple, but that would have sent him right over the edge.

  I look good in gold. Pewter curled in Inezs lap.

  Mrs. Murphy, in the back on the old blanket, which shed drawn up around her, said, Dream on.

  Pay her no mind. Shes jealous. Tigers are a dime a dozen, but Im a perfect gray. Pewters ego needed no enhancement. Whats Tucker doing?

  Asleep. Low pressure makes her sleepy, Mrs. Murphy said. She was a little drowsy herself.

  Inezs eyelids fluttered. She shook her head. I could go back to bed.

  Me, too. Harry turned left into the parking lot on the north side of the Barracks Road Shopping Center.

  Not too many people here in this weather. Inez unbuckled her seat belt.

  Mondays usually a busy shopping day, at least at the supermarkets. Harry turned to Inez. Im going to run into Buchanan and Kiguel. Want to come in or stay? Ill keep the motor running so that it doesnt get cold.

  Ill stay. Hard to believe its April sixth and only thirty-one degrees. Ive never seen a spring like this, and you know how many Ive seen.

  Harry grinned. You never know.

  You dont, which is why Im in no hurry to exit earth.

  Harry hopped out and made a dash for the framing shop. When she entered, she could see the top of Shirley Franklins head as she was kneeling down beneath the counter.

  What are you doing?

  Shirley popped her head up. Reorganizing these finished prints. She stood. How are you, Harry?

  Harry gave her the story about Aunt Tallys hundredth, William Woods, the watch scam, the murder. Shirley had grown up in Missouri, so she could picture the scene.

  How awful. Is Tally all right?

  I think so.

  Certainly turned into an unusual birthday.

  I turned forty last August seventh, which you know. I dont know where those forty years went. Imagine how Aunt Tally feels reflecting on one hundred, Harry mused.

  That was all it took. Harry and Shirley stood there gabbing for a half hour, neither realizing how much time had passed. Both women were independent thinkers, and they each egged the other on. Also, thanks to the weather, no one came in the store to interrupt the conversation.

  Harry finally remembered that Inez was sitting in the station wagon. Oh, my gosh. She checked her watch.

  Shirley checked hers, too, and they burst out laughing. Did you need anything?

  Harry thought a moment, then it came back to her. Actually, I did. Well, its a question. Larry and Enriqueshe named the late co-owner, then the very alive oneused to get these wonderful old books with prints in them. Remember all the bug prints, each hand-colored? Well, if Enrique or you come across dog ones, Id like to give Inez a framed print of a vizsla. She has a stunning vizsla.

  Ill start looking. Shirley glanced out the window. Is it ever going to end? The snow was falling faster, thicker. Its snowed most of the last two weeks. The sun has peeped out, what, twice?

  If that. Harry turned the collar up on her old Barbour coat. You take care. Best to Dick. She named Shirleys husband, then stopped, her hand on the doorknob. Enrique okay?

  Enough time has passed, but you know those two were so close. Its so hard to lose your partner. I dont know what Id do without Dick. She leaned over the counter, her lovely scarf touching the top of it. Then I remind myself that weve been lucky to have had decades together. What about these poor kids whose husbands or wives never come back from Iraq or Afghanistan?

  I think about that, too, Shirley. I guess Ive reached the age where I realize how strong most people are, but I wish they didnt have to find out. She waved, opened the door, and made a dash for the car.

  Inez woke up when Harry opened the door. I must have nodded off.

  Good thing. I was in there forever. She started the motor, then drove sixty yards to pull into another parking place in front of Terri Kincaids store. You can stay here if you want.

  I want to see the guinea hens, after all you said about them.

  Harry sheepishly replied, I did go on. You know, Terri gives me hives, but she finds the best stuff. Expensive.

  The best usually is. Inez opened the door, carefully stepping out.

  Tucker remained asleep, Erno at her side, but Pewter, braving the snow on her precious pate, ran out. Mrs. Murphy followed.

  Harry hurried around to take Inez by her elbow. The distance to the sidewalk protected by the overha
ng was short, but it was slick. Healthy though Inez was, Harry assumed her bones were more brittle than her own. She didnt want her to risk a fall.

  I hate this stuff. Pewter shook her back paws, toes splayed out.

  Terri looked up, saw the humans, and hurried from behind the counter to open the door.

  The cats skedaddled in.

  Once certain Inez was through the door, Harry raised her voice. You two come back here this instant.

  Come and get us, Pewter trilled.

  Terri started after Pewter.

  Harry called out, Youll inflame her. I ignore her. Shell come round. I know, I know, Tucker broke a vase, but cats are nimble.

  Terri shrugged. Hey, its one way to sell something.

  Inez chuckled. Hang in there, Terri, business will pick up. Came to see your guinea hens. Harrys eyes followed the cats, together now, tails straight up.

  Terri, a true retailer, enthused, Youll love them. Look at how accurate they are. She pointed to the display, which was clevera tiny hay bale and small hand-carved cows within two-foot-high white fencing. The beautiful porcelain hens were in a little yard, real cracked corn scattered on the piece of green carpet, which actually did resemble grass.

  They really are delightful. Inez studied the almost life-size ceramic hens with a deep clear glaze.

  The artist had correctly painted the black-and-white feathers; the head was a tad stylized but appealing. There were various sizes and color variations, for those desiring more decoration than accuracy.

  Harry hated to admit it: She was in love with these guinea hens. However, Harry watched her money and was having a hard time justifying spending $75 on a small hen or $150 for a large one.

  She tore herself away from the hens to look at the lovely plates, bowls, and mugs from Provence. The colorssome dark mustard, others cherryset off the dinnerware. Each item was hand-painted and therefore individual, yet they were of a piece so all fit together.

  Terri, secretly hoping the cats would break something, returned to the counter and cash register to check a price shed forgotten to put on a large bowl, one with a painted background of white magnolias. When Inez walked toward the counter, Terri said, Thank you for calling me. I should have said that when you walked in.