The River Maid

by Gemma Holden

  Coming to a decision, Gaspard set his glass down and turned to face her. “I’m going away.”

  Marie stood up, her hand going to her chest. “You can’t.”

  “It’s just for a few weeks. I want to go to Koblenz. Adrianna once told me she wanted to leave the town. Perhaps she went to find work in the city.”

  “Without telling her mother?”

  Gaspard shrugged. “It’s unlikely I know, but I have to try. I thought I could make enquiries about Lorelei while I’m there.”

  Marie frowned. “We have no reason to doubt what she has said.”

  “There is the question of where did she come from. There’s been no word of any ships going down recently and her German has a strange accent that I cannot place.” He shook his head. “There’s something not right about Lorelei and her story. The more I think about it, the more I do not believe it.”

  “Perhaps she is in some kind of trouble and she will confide in us when she realises that she is safe.”

  “Perhaps,” Gaspard conceded.

  “Be discreet,” Marie said. “We don’t want the French coming here and asking questions. Especially if they hear of the fortune in jewels she had on her.”

  “I will return in a few weeks,” Gaspard said. “I will send word if I discover anything.” He was quiet for a few moments before he said, “I know what you’re planning, Marie.”

  “And what is that?” Marie asked, raising a brow.

  “You’re hoping that Christian will fall in love with Lorelei.”

  “Is that so wrong? Lorelei is quite alone in the world and I know Christian has been lonely here.”

  “I will feel better once I find out where she came from.”

  “Don’t stay away too long. Christian needs you.”

  “We both know that he doesn’t. He’s a grown man now. He doesn’t need a tutor anymore.”

  She came to stand before him. “I need you then.”

  He took her hand and kissed it. “I will be back as soon as I can.”

  Chapter Ten

  Lorelei came down to breakfast to find Christian there alone, his dark head bowed, his attention fixed on the sheaf of papers in front of him. It was the first time she had come down to breakfast to find him there. Usually, he was out leading the search for Adrianna.

  He set the papers down and rose as she came in. “Good morning,” he said as he bowed.

  “Good morning,” she replied. She smiled at him as she slipped into the chair.

  He waited for her to sit before he sat himself. “I’m afraid that Monsieur Gaspard has had to go away. He left early this morning, but he should be back in a few weeks. He sends his apologies that he wasn’t able to bid you farewell.”

  Lorelei tried not to show how happy she was. The horrible fat man was always asking about Adrianna. Christian rose again as his mother came in.

  “I was just telling Lorelei about Gaspard,” Christian said to her.

  Her Highness smiled as she took the seat across from Lorelei. “He should be back soon. In the meantime you will have to find a way to keep yourselves occupied until he returns. It’s such a lovely day.” Christian’s mother looked at him meaningfully.

  Christian cleared his throat. “I was wondering if you would like to go for a walk after breakfast? That’s if you’re feeling up to it.”

  Lorelei could barely breathe. She would finally get to be alone with Christian. “I would like that.” Her hands trembled when she raised the teacup to her lips, spilling tea onto the white tablecloth. She was no longer hungry, but she made herself finish her food, forcing herself to chew and swallow.

  Her Highness signalled a footman. “Have Hanna fetch Lorelei a pelisse.” The footman nodded and left the room. “We shall have to go into Koblenz and buy you some clothes of your own soon.”

  A pelisse turned out to be a short-waisted coat. After breakfast, Hanna helped her into it.

  “You should let me put up your hair,” the girl said as she did up the fat buttons that ran down the front. “It’s not proper you wearing it loose.”

  She liked wearing her hair down. Hanna did her hair every morning and she always took it down as she went to breakfast, leaving a trail of hairpins behind her. Hanna tied the pink ribbons of the bonnet under her chin into a large bow. “There, you will do.”

  Lorelei ran down the stairs, ignoring the pain it caused her. Christian waited for her at the bottom. He had put on a dark blue coat and hat. She stopped to admire how handsome he looked before she came down the last few steps.

  “I won’t take you far the first time,” he said, holding out his arm for her to take.

  He escorted her outside through the gravelled courtyard and led her around the castle. He took her along the cliffs above the town. They were so high up, but she wasn’t afraid. She would follow him anywhere.

  Soon, her feet were hurting. Knives cut into them with every step, sending pain shooting up her legs. She smiled in answer to Christian’s remarks, but she couldn’t speak, afraid that if she opened her mouth she would cry out. She followed him mutely.

  They finally stopped on top of a cliff. She realised it was her cliff; the one where her cave was. She clutched his arm for support as her legs threatened to give way.

  “I never get tired of seeing the view from here,” he said. “It feels like we’re on top of the world.”

  She smiled politely, but she didn’t care about the view. Instead, she watched Christian as he gazed off into the distance. She wanted to touch him. To cup his cheek and stroke his brow. Her heart raced each time he looked at her and his smile made her breathless.

  “Do you see that castle,” Christian said, pointing across the river. “That’s Castle Rheinfels or what’s left of it. The French blew it up. And further up the river is Castle Maus.”

  “Castle Maus,” she said, frowning. “Like the animal?”

  Christian nodded encouragingly. “The Electors of Trier built it at the same time the Counts of Katzenelnbogen were building Katz Castle. I think they were originally going to call it something else, but it became known as Castle Maus. Like the game cat and mouse.”

  “What happened to the Counts of Katzenelnbogen?” she asked, stumbling over the long word. Over the centuries, she had often wondered what had happened to the Count who had first brought her to the river, but she’d had no way of finding out.

  “Their line died out about three hundred years ago,” Christian replied.

  “What does that mean?”

  “It means that the last count died with no heir so there was no one left to inherit the castle.”

  Her memories of the Count were hazy. She could no longer remember his name or even his face, but she remembered him telling her that he would never marry - could never marry - as he loved her and would have no other. Was it her fault that the Counts of Katzenelenbogen had died out?

  “Don’t be sad,” Christian said, seeing the expression on her face. “It was a long time ago. Centuries before you were even born.”

  If only he knew the truth.

  “Who owns the castle now?” she asked.

  “My family did for a short time. The French revolutionary army seized it a few years ago. It was in too much of a strategic position on the Rhine for them to leave it. They’re allowing my family to stay there for now, but that could change at any moment if the Emperor decides he wants us to leave. He may still decide to destroy it.” He looked thoughtful for a moment. “Do you know about the war?”

  She shook her head.

  “I wish I could forget about it.” He offered her his arm. “We should go back. I shouldn’t have brought you so far the first time.”

  She tried to hide her dismay. Just standing there was agony and now she had to walk all the way back. The castle seemed so far away. Christian spoke, but she couldn’t hear him. All her focus was on putting one foot in front of the other.

  After they returned, Lorelei excused herself and hurried up to her bedroom. She had to lean on
the wall for support. She couldn’t stop the whimpers of pain as she hobbled along. In her room she sank onto the bed, relived to be sitting down and taking the weight from her feet. She carefully eased off her shoes and rolled down her stockings. Her toenails were torn and bleeding, the skin red and sore. Small pockets had filled with fluid and were painful to touch. She slipped a pillow under her ankles to prop them up. A clock began to chime. Counting them, she realised it would soon be time for dinner, but she couldn’t let anyone see her feet like this.

  Frantically, she looked around for something to bind her feet with. Grabbing the nightdress from under her pillow, she tore the thin cotton into strips and then wrapped the cloth tightly around her feet. She forced her feet back into the narrow shoes, biting her lip to stop herself from crying out. She stood up, one hand on the bedpost for support, and took some deep breaths.

  She took the stairs slowly, one at a time, bracing herself for the pain with each step. As she entered the dining room, Christian rose and smiled at her and she managed to walk to her chair without flinching.

  “Did you enjoy your walk?” Christian’s mother asked when she arrived and took the remaining place that had been set out.

  “Yes,” Lorelei said. “Very much.”

  “Christian will have to take you out again.”

  She tried to keep the smile fixed on her face. “I would like that.”

  After dinner, they retired to the drawing room. Christian took out a pack of small rectangular cards with symbols on them and began to divide them into two piles. “Do you know what these are?” he asked, spreading them out in front of her. She shook her head. “They’re cards. I thought I could teach you how to play.”

  Christian pulled his chair next to hers and patiently explained the rules. She struggled to understand them, but he never became frustrated with her. They sat so close, his arm would brush her sleeve when he reached across to look at her cards and it made her skin tingle. How happy Christian was when she finally understood. Being near him was all that mattered, she decided. She would endure the pain.

  ~~~~~

  Over a week had passed since Lorelei had stolen her legs and Adrianna had almost become used to having a tail. She still woke some mornings expecting her legs to be back, but then her gaze fell upon the gold and silver that filled the cave and she remembered. She had explored the whole of the river around the town, finding things in the silt of the riverbed, and even chased the fish. Every day was the same. She found no clue that would tell her how to get her legs back. If there was a way, Lorelei was the only one who knew it.

  One day she saw Lorelei and the prince together walking on the cliffs, Lorelei’s hair streaming behind her like a long golden banner as she held the prince’s arm. Unable to watch them together, Adrianna had moved out of sight.

  She often saw her mother on the bank, looking out at the river. Adrianna had thought about finding a way to tell her what had happened, but there was never an opportunity. There was always someone else nearby. She saw Herr Fleischer come and put his arm around her mother. Her mother had turned into his embrace. Knowing she should not be watching, Adrianna had ducked down into the water. She had never thought that her mother might care for Herr Fleischer, but she was glad that her mother had someone to hold her. She was not alone as Adrianna was.

  The worst thing about being a mermaid, besides the boredom, was the loneliness. During the day, she often stayed close to the fishing boats. She risked putting her head up to listen to the men talking, but she stayed close to the side of the boat so they would only see her if they happened to look over. Sometimes, she would stay with them all day, listening to them talking softly and laughing at bawdy jokes. She longed to be with someone, anyone, and this was the closest she could get. But they always left the river as soon as it got dark and Adrianna was alone again. She would watch the sun sinking lower and cling to the boat, willing them to stay a few minutes more, but they never did.

  After the sun fell, she would steal up to the town. She didn’t hurry back to her cave anymore. She could find her way in the dark. She couldn’t risk getting close during the day. She could watch them even if she could not be with them. When they blew out their candles and pulled their shutters closed, she would slip back to her cave.

  In the day, she could forget that she had ever been anything else, but the nights were different. Exhaustion had made her sleep at first, but now it was becoming more difficult. She would lay awake in the darkness. Tendrils of moonlight filtered through the cracks in the rocks and gave the cave a ghostly glow. It made the objects look like strange creatures. The candlesticks were long fingers, the bowls sunken heads. She would sink up to her chin in the water and wrap her arms around herself and wait for morning and wonder if this was going to be her life now.

  ~~~~~

  Christian walked with her nearly every day. Sometimes, Lorelei came down to breakfast to find that he had gone riding. She would sit at the window, waiting for him to come back so she could rush out to meet him as soon as she saw his horse. When it rained, they played cards. The pain in her legs hadn’t gone away; she didn’t think that it ever would. But she was with Christian now. He was all that mattered. She had given up everything for him, everything that she was, but he was worth it.

  They walked further and further each day. At first it was just along the cliffs, then down to the town and along the riverbank. Christian spoke little. She couldn’t speak at all, so great was the pain. Her feet became worse and worse every day. She stumbled along beside him, nodding and smiling, not registering what he said. Inside her head, she was screaming.

  At night, she could finally rest her ruined feet. She would carefully unwind the strips of linen, biting her lip to stop herself crying out. When the fabric became stuck from the liquid that seeped out of the sores, she had to hold a pillow against her face to muffle her cries. Her feet were red and blistered. The sores hadn’t healed; they burst open and oozed yellow pus. Her toenails turned black and bled and then they fell off. At night, she couldn’t even bear the weight of the covers on her feet. The more she walked, the worse they became. Each morning, she would bind them tight and force them back into her narrow shoes and with a bright smile go down to see Christian.

  One morning at breakfast, Christian’s mother announced she was taking her into Koblenz to go shopping for clothes. In the shop, bolts of fabric and armfuls of dresses in every colour were brought out. She needed so many clothes; day dresses, evening dresses, walking dresses and riding habits. Then there were coats and cloaks, bonnets and hats. She touched the fabrics, marvelling at the softness. The river ruined most of the clothes that she found and stained them a murky grey.

  “What colour do you like?” Her Highness asked. She held samples of the fabric against Lorelei’s skin.

  “What colour does Christian like?” Lorelei asked instead.

  Her Highness hesitated. “He likes many colours, but what matters is what you like.”

  “I like whatever Christian likes.”

  “I see.” Her Highness regarded her for a moment, a worried expression creasing her brow. “I know he likes blue.”

  The dressmaker brought out a blue dress and helped Lorelei into it. The woman did up the tiny buttons that ran down the back and then used pins to adjust the hem and pull in the waist.

  “Will Christian like it?” Lorelei asked when the dressmaker had finished the alterations. She spun around before the mirror.

  “I’m sure he will,” Her Highness replied.

  “We have the slippers to go with it as well,” the dressmaker said. Her assistant, a young girl who hadn’t spoken, brought out a pair of blue silk slippers. The dressmaker reached for Lorelei’s shoes.

  “No!” Lorelei said, jerking her legs away. She ran to the opposite corner of the room and stood there trembling, prepared to flee.

  The dressmaker looked to Her Highness for help.

  “We will take the shoes and the dresses,” Her Highness said. “Lorelei can tr
y on the rest of the clothes back at the castle.”

  Christian’s mother looked at Lorelei strangely in the carriage, but didn’t say anything about how she had behaved. They returned to the castle laden down with parcels and packages. Christian met them at the door and laughed when he saw all the boxes being carried in.

  “Do I have any money left?” he asked.

  “Enough,” Her Highness said, smiling.

  Christian helped Lorelei down from the carriage. “I thought you might like to go out this afternoon,” he said.

  “I would like that.” She would go anywhere with him.

  After lunch, he led her outside to where an open top carriage waited. Christian helped her up. He flicked the reins and they took off. She watched the way he controlled the horse, his hands firm and strong on the reins. Pulling off her bonnet, she shook out her long hair. She closed her eyes and tilted her head back, letting her hair stream behind her. She felt like she was back in the river, racing through the water.

  It began to rain. Fat droplets splashed onto her head. Christian pulled the horses to a stop and jumped down. He tied the reins to a post that seemed to be there for that purpose and then lifted her down.

  “We can wait inside until the rain has passed,” he said.

  She didn’t mind the rain, but she let Christian lead her into a little garden, past rows of small stones carved with words.

  “What is this place?” she asked.

  “It’s a church.”

  She didn’t know what that meant. He pulled open a heavy wooden door and she followed him inside. This building was different from the other buildings in the town. Inside, it was dark and gloomy like her cave. Thick stone walls surrounded them. Pieces of coloured glass made beautiful pictures out of the windows. She stopped before one of a woman in a white dress with blazing golden hair. Feathery wings sprouted from her back.

  “She has wings,” she said to Christian in wonder. She didn’t know humans could have wings.

  “She’s an angel,” Christian said, his voice quiet as he came to stand beside her.