The River Maid

by Gemma Holden

  Far below, by the river’s edge, he could see a figure astride a horse. Frowning, he squinted, trying to see clearer. He was sure it was Gaspard; he recognised the horse, but why would Gaspard be down by the river and on a horse when Gaspard hated riding? After having spent the last three weeks doing little else, he had declared he was never going to ride again.

  He turned his horse and began slowly heading back to the castle. Christian went out to meet him as he rode into the courtyard.

  “I thought I would go out for a ride,” Gaspard said as he dismounted. He looked guilty as if he’d just been caught doing something he shouldn’t be doing.

  “You should have told me. I would have come with you,” Christian replied.

  “You still need to rest, my friend.”

  The next day, Christian came down to breakfast to find his former tutor missing once more.

  “Where is Gaspard?” he asked his mother as he entered the room.

  She looked up from her teacup. “According to the servants he went out riding at first light.”

  “That’s strange,” Christian said.

  “Yes. I thought it odd behaviour for him as well. Is something wrong?”

  “I’m not sure.” He went out onto the parapets. He shielded his eyes. He could just make Gaspard out standing by the river. He was at the very edge of the water. What was he doing?

  It was more than an hour before Gaspard finally returned. Christian was waiting in the courtyard as he rode in.

  “You’re looking for Lorelei,” Christian said.

  Gaspard sighed, but didn’t deny it. He slid down from the horse. “She won’t come to me.”

  “Why do you want to see Lorelei?”

  Gaspard shifted uncomfortably. “I was going to ask her to help Adrianna.”

  Fear filled him. “What’s wrong with Adrianna?”

  “She asked me not to tell you.”

  “Gaspard, if there is something wrong with her you must tell me.”

  Gaspard shook his head sadly. “She was out of the water too long. Her scales are flaking off and her tail is rotting away. I don’t know what else to do. Lorelei is the only one who can help her.”

  “Why didn’t she tell me?” Christian asked, his voice strained.

  “She didn’t want you to blame yourself and to stay with her out of guilt.”

  Christian stormed into the castle and strode up the stairs. Gaspard followed behind him. He stopped before Adrianna’s room. “Open the door.” It wasn’t a request, but a command. Gaspard didn’t utter a word as he unlocked the door. Adrianna looked up, startled, as Christian entered the room. Last time, he had been too focused on her and he had barely looked at her tail. This time he really looked at it. It was no long shimmering green, but a pale sickly colour. Chunks of scales had flaked off and floated in the water.

  “Why didn’t you tell me about your tail?” he asked gently, the anger draining from him.

  She looked down and wouldn’t meet his eyes. “I didn’t want you to see me like this.”

  He crouched down by the bath. “You should have told me.” She pressed her cheek against the back of his hand which rested on the edge of the bath. He could feel the wetness from her tears. He drew her gently against his chest. It was awkward holding her like this. He could feel water soaking his shirt, but he didn’t care. “We will find a way to fix it,” he said, his lips against her hair. “Either we will find a way to get your legs back or we will find a way to make your tail better.” He drew back and kissed her forehead. “I need to speak to Gaspard. I’ll be back soon.”

  She nodded and he brushed away her tears before he left her. He shut the door. Gaspard had wisely waited for him outside.

  “What do we do?” Christian asked.

  Gaspard shrugged his shoulders in exasperation, his face filled with despair. “I don’t know. I’ve been down to the river every day, but Lorelei hasn’t shown herself.”

  He hated feeling helpless. There must be something they could do. “I could go. Lorelei might speak to me.”

  “I don’t think that would be a good idea. There’s the problem of the French as well. We cannot stay here much longer. The French will come, but we cannot move Adrianna as she is.”

  “I won’t leave without her, Gaspard.” He didn’t care if the French arrested him, but he wouldn’t let them take Adrianna.

  He sat with her each day while Gaspard went back out to look for Lorelei. Adrianna had always been warm when she was in the water, but now she complained of being cold. He built a fire in the fireplace for her. He did it himself, wanting to keep the servants out of the room. She was restless in the water. She kept wanting to scratch at her tail, but he was worried she would make it worse. He caught her hands in his.

  “We’re going to get through this,” he said. “I got better. You can as well.” He pressed his forehead to hers. He could feel how hot she was. Her skin burned like an iron brand against his.

  “It hurts,” she said. “And I’m so cold.”

  With the fire going the heat in the room was oppressive, but she still said she was cold. He didn’t know what else he could do for her. There was a knock on the door and Gaspard came in with a tray.

  “Gaspard has brought you some food,” Christian said.

  Still continuing to shiver, she shook her head. “I’m not hungry.”

  “You need to eat. Surely you can manage a few spoonfuls.” Christian tried to coax her, but she turned her head away. Giving up, he set the bowl down and followed Gaspard out of the room.

  “Did you see any sign of Lorelei?” Christian asked.

  Gaspard shook his head sadly. “Nothing. I’m sorry, my friend.”

  “She’s getting worse.”

  “I think it’s pointless keeping her in the bath. She would be more comfortable on the bed. If her tail isn’t healing in the water, then it will make little difference.”

  Christian forced a reassuring look onto his face and went back in. “We’re going to move you to the bed.” Adrianna didn’t respond. He turned down the covers while Gaspard fetched towels. He rolled up his shirt sleeves and then slid his arms under her and lifted her from the water. His shoulder throbbed in protest, but he ignored it. He set her down on the bed and gently dried her tail as best he could. He was afraid to rub too hard as her scales came away at the slightest touch. Gaspard cast him a worried look as he saw her tail. They covered her with blankets and Christian tucked them around her. She let out a happy sigh and snuggled down.

  “Better?” he asked.

  “Much,” she said, smiling happily.

  It worried him that she was happier now out of the water. He didn’t like what it meant. He managed to coax her into having a few spoonfuls of broth and then he stayed with her the rest of the evening while she slept, content just to be near her. When he finally left her, knowing he would be unable to sleep, he went down to the drawing room. His mother was sat there alone. She seemed to have been waiting up for him.

  “Where is Gaspard?” he asked.

  “He went to bed.” She patted the seat next to her. “Come and sit with me. We haven’t had much of a chance to talk since you got back.” He sat down next to her. “How is Adrianna?” she asked.

  “Her tail isn’t healing. It’s getting worse.”

  “You’re spending a great deal of time with her,” she said carefully.

  He could hear the reproach in her voice. “You don’t approve.”

  “I’m concerned about you, Christian. You seem to care a great deal for her.”

  “More than a great deal.”

  “You’re so young and you’ve only known her a few weeks.”

  “I’m not a boy anymore. I’ve fought in battles. I’ve killed men. But you don’t think I’m old enough to love.”

  “I don’t see a future for the two of you together. You’re a prince. She’s a mermaid. You can’t ignore what you are.”

  “I can’t ignore how I feel either.”

  “I u
nderstand that she saved your life and that you feel indebted to her, but a relationship with her would be entirely inappropriate.”

  Adrianna was dying and his mother was concerned about the possibility of a scandal. “At the moment, all I am care about is keeping Adrianna alive. That’s the only thing I can think of.”

  She put her hand on his arm. “Don’t be angry with me. I don’t want her to come to harm. But you could lose everything for her. Napoleon could take away your lands, your titles.”

  “I don’t care.”

  And he didn’t. The only thing he cared about was Adrianna.

  “Please be reasonable, Christian. We need to leave before the French come back. We can go to Denmark. Your uncle fled there with his family after he upset Napoleon and we have friends at court.”

  “I’m not leaving her.”

  He would stay. Even if that meant the French came and lay siege to the castle. He wouldn’t leave without her.

  ~~~~~

  For the first time in over a year, Adrianna was in a bed. The bed was feather soft, with a deep mattress, but she was still cold despite the nest of blankets she was lying in and she couldn’t stop shivering. She tried not to show it when Christian came to see her.

  “How are you feeling?” he asked as he sat on the edge of her bed.

  “Cold.”

  He tucked the blankets closer around her and then picked up a thick book bound in dark blue leather, which he had placed on the bedside table. “I brought you something. I thought I could read to you. Gaspard gave me this book when he first came to live with us. It’s called Don Quixote.”

  Adrianna lay back and snuggled down into the blankets as Christian opened the book and began to read. He came every morning to read to her some more. He started off on a chair next to the bed, then sitting at the other end of the bed, and finally lying beside her. Her scales continued to flake off. It smelled like rotting fish, but Christian never mentioned it. The story took her mind off her tail which was slowly getting worse. She was so cold and she couldn’t stop shivering. Christian fetched more blankets and added more wood to the fire, but it made little difference.

  “What happens at the end?” she asked one afternoon. They still had more than half of the book to go.

  “You have to wait until we get there,” Christian said.

  “We’re not going to reach the end.”

  Christian marked his place in the book with the ribbon. He shifted onto his side and propped himself up on his elbow so that he was facing her. “Yes, we are. We’re going to find a way to make you better.”

  She shook her head against the pillows. “No, we’re not. Just tell me. Does it end happily?”

  He hesitated before he answered. “Yes, it ends happily. Don Quixote marries Dulcinea and they go off with Sancho and have lots of adventures together.”

  She thought he was lying to her, but she didn’t want to know if it turned out badly. She wanted to pretend that it ended happily. It was what she and Christian were doing; pretending. He lay down next to her and drew her into his arms. She rested her head on his chest while he stroked her hair. Content, she closed her eyes. The only time she felt warm was when she was in his arms. Perhaps this was all just a story and none of it was real. But she didn’t want it to be untrue if it meant she would lose Christian.

  Chapter Thirty Eight

  Christian slid off the bed, careful not to wake Adrianna. He tucked the blankets closer around her. Even in her sleep, she shivered. He stroked her dark hair which was spread over the pillow and kissed her forehead before he left, locking the door behind him. He went down to the drawing room. He found Gaspard there with his mother, talking softly. They broke off when he entered.

  “It’s getting worse,” he said quietly. “I don’t know what to do.”

  “I don’t think there’s anything we can do,” Gaspard replied with a heavy sigh.

  His mother rose and placed her hand on his shoulder. “I’m sorry, Christian.”

  He was watching her die. He was afraid of reaching the end of the book, sure he would lose her once they did. He sat with her every waking moment and slept in a chair next to the bed. He still read to her, although there seemed little point. She drifted in and out of consciousness. She still shivered in her sleep and complained of being cold, although she was hot to the touch. It was all he could do to get her to sip some water. He was afraid to leave her alone, afraid he would return to find her gone.

  “You need to get some sleep,” his mother said. “I will stay with her.”

  He shook his head. “I can’t leave her.”

  “It will do Adrianna no good if you’re too weak to help her. Let me sit with her. Please.”

  He knew she was trying to make amends for her earlier comments against Adrianna. Reluctantly, he nodded. “Thank you.”

  But sleep eluded him. In the end, he rose and dressed. He went down to the stables and saddled his horse. He did it himself, leaving the stable boys to sleep. He cantered down to the river. The morning light said dawn was not far away. He reined his horse in at the river’s edge and jumped down.

  “Lorelei!” he shouted. “Lorelei!”

  Mist rolled across the river, slowly creeping around his legs and coiling around his boots like ghostly chains. He called her name over and over again, until his voice was hoarse. In desperation, he shouted, pleading with her to come and show herself.

  “Lorelei,” he begged, one final time. “I know you’re out there. Please talk to me.”

  He was about to give up and leave when Lorelei emerged slowly from the water. First, her head appeared and then the top of her white shoulders. She regarded him for a long moment and then he saw the flash of a tail as she swam toward him. Gone was the girl he had known. Huge violet eyes dominated her gaunt face. The irises seemed to ripple outward, like waves in the sea. The remains of her green dress was torn and shredded and it hung around her in tatters, barely covering her pearl white skin.

  He went to move closer. “Stay where you are.” Her voice was different, the timbre low and husky. It sounded as if it came from some cavern far below the sea that had never seen the light of day.

  “I know what you are,” he said. “You don’t have to hide from me.” She didn’t move. She watched him, her inhuman eyes unblinking. He gathered his courage and went on. “I need your help. Adrianna was out of the water too long. She’s dying and I don’t know what to do.”

  “Why didn’t you love me?” she asked, ignoring his question. He could hear the pain in her voice.

  “I’m sorry,” was all he could say.

  “I would have given up everything for you. I would have loved you forever.”

  “That was never what I wanted.” There was silence. “Will you help Adrianna?”

  “Why should I help her? She stole you from me.” She spat the words. Her eyes blazed with anger and fury. The river started to churn, sending waves washing against the bank.

  He took a deep breath. “If you help her, I will be with you.”

  The waves died down. “You will love me?” There was hope in her eyes.

  “I can’t promise that, but I will try to love you.”

  She laughed. It was painful to hear, full of sorrow and bitterness. “Come and be with me then, Christian. Come into the river and stay with me forever.” She reached out a hand for him. Green veins marbled her arms. Her skin seemed to glow with its own light and the hand she reached out had nails long like blades.

  She would kill him. He knew what she meant when she asked him to stay with her forever. He waded into the river until it reached the top of his boots and waited for her to pull him down and drown him.

  “You would give up your life for her?” She sounded like a girl again, bewildered and unable to understand. The rage had gone and all that was left was a deep sadness that haunted her incredible eyes.

  “I love her,” he said, not caring if she killed him for saying it.

  Silver tears pooled in her eyes and slowl
y trickled down her cheeks. “Go, Christian, never come here again. Go and be with her.”

  She dived into the water and vanished.

  ~~~~~

  Adrianna woke feeling like she’d had the strangest dream. No longer cold, she finally felt warm. For a moment, she thought she was in her bed at home, but then she opened her eyes and took in the huge canopied bed and stone walls. Christian sat on a chair next to the bed, his handsome face filled with concern.

  “You’re awake,” he said, rising from the chair. He carefully sat on the bed beside her and took her hand in his.

  She tried to lift her head from the pillows, but failed. “What happened?” she asked.

  “You had a fever. I nearly lost you.”

  He squeezed her fingers. She squeezed back as much as she was able. She felt so weak. He helped her to sit up, supporting her with his arm while he moved pillows behind her back. He picked up a glass of water from the table beside the bed and held it to her lips.

  “How long was I asleep?” she asked when he took the glass away.

  “A week.”

  Her eyes widened at the news and she tried again to sit up, but it was too much effort. “What about the French?”

  “They haven’t come. They will at some point when Fournier doesn’t return, but we should be safe for the moment.”

  She looked down. Blankets were tucked around her, covering her tail. She didn’t want to look at it, afraid of what she might see. She could no longer even feel it.

  “How bad is it?” she asked.

  His eyes followed her gaze. “I haven’t looked at it for a few days.” She could tell by his expression that it hadn’t looked good when he had last seen it.

  “You should go,” she said.

  “I’m not leaving you.”