A Dream to Die For

by Nicholas Faulkner

  ‘Darling…’ Victoria was taking off her blouse and had already removed her jeans, she was standing in front of Mike, who was sitting on the edge of the bed not really taking any notice.

  ‘Darling…’ Victoria repeated herself and Mike looked up. Her blouse was open and her breasts peeking out. ‘Would you like to help me out of the rest of my clothes?’

  ‘Not really.’ Mike was still thinking about slipping off to sleep and spending time with the woman who was now occupying more of his thoughts than his wife. ‘To be honest love I am really not in the mood and I thought you drank a little too much this afternoon.’

  ‘Well, fuck you, or rather I won’t!’ Victoria turned her back, stalked into the en-suite and slammed the door behind her.

  When she finally walked back into the bedroom Mike had already pulled the duvet over his body and had drifted off to sleep. Victoria looked down at him, her anger had not subsided.

  ‘Well I am going off to the spare room, that’s where you belong after that approach you bloody cripple.’ Victoria walked down the corridor and settled comfortably into the spare bedroom bed. This was not the first time she had slept in here and as she snuggled down she thought that she actually liked it more than the master bedroom. Mike had been spending so much time with his head full of work recently that she felt rather distant from him. Did they used to share so much together, or was that just her imagination? It was like looking back to your childhood, the summer holidays always lasted for ever and were hot and sunny.

  ‘Perhaps it is a little like that in marriage, the early years always seem so good but in fact they were not necessarily better, just hindsight with rose tinted spectacles,’ Victoria thought as she rolled onto her side. The bed felt large and empty and she liked the feel of the slightly cooler side without a body in the way of her legs as she spread herself across the whole width.

  CHAPTER 6

  FOR THE following week Mike and Victoria subsided into what could best be described as trench warfare. While there wasn’t exactly the mud of the Somme, there were other obvious similarities. After the initial cut and thrust of the battle on Sunday night, the rattle of machine gun fire of their words, there ceased to be any more blatant disagreements. Merely a comfortable distance between their respective armies. They had both dug in and were keeping their heads down. Victoria had spent most of Monday and Tuesday evening moving some of her personal belongings into the spare bedroom. In a way was this her drawing up the battle lines that they would fight over till exhaustion engulfed them say in four years’ time? Was Victoria making sure her trench was secure, her lines of communication and supplies well set up? What Mike was not certain about was what action he should be taking while all this was going on. He did manage one lob of a hand grenade which was despatched by Victoria with a verbal swat that left him knowing any further action at this time would be futile.

  ‘Darling, this is ridiculous,’ he had said as she carried her fifth box of shoes into the spare bedroom on Monday. Well was that a hand grenade or an olive branch?

  ‘You complain I get drunk with my friend, out of the blue suggest we go to a bloody steam rally and then refuse to have sex. I suggest we start a dialogue after you have finished your mid-life crisis.’ And with that Victoria had turned and walked out of the bedroom leaving Mike sitting on the bed, wondering where it was all going to end.

  After Pilates on Thursday evening, Victoria settled down for a heart-to-heart with Jules. ‘I tell you, I have about had enough.’ She started just as soon as the first large glass of white was in front of her. They were propped at the bar in their favourite wine bar in a side street in Winchester. It was virtually empty.

  ‘Truth is Mike has been acting bloody strangely over the last few months. I have been thinking it was that bang on his head but in fact it has been going on for longer than that. What is really scary is I feel more comfortable in the spare bedroom. I can read and turn the light out when I like and sex has been such a non-event for years, I don’t even miss it.’ Victoria sipped her wine, it was going down a little too quickly but she did not seem to care. ‘Well when I say I don’t miss sex, I mean I don’t miss it with Mike, I still relax on my own, and to be honest it makes that sort of thing a little easier being in the spare room.’ The wine had made Victoria even more relaxed and uninhibited with Jules than normal.

  ‘Gerald and I have not shared a bedroom for years. Although I guess it is a little easier as I know he will be away staying at his club in London at least one night a week.’ Jules placed a comforting arm around her old friend. ‘I think most marriages end up like this. After all why would we want to share a bed with some old git who does nothing but fart and snore?’

  Both the women laughed.

  ‘Doesn’t Sophie think it a little odd though?’ Victoria asked.

  ‘I don’t know and to be honest I don’t really have the relationship with my daughter to ask. After she hit puberty it was just hell and we have never really got on since. She has her life at university, she seems happy enough. Gerald is always busy in the city, making the cash. I have to say I do appreciate that element of my husband, he provides very nicely and so I am prepared to ignore his indiscretions.’ Jules appeared relaxed at explaining her dysfunctional family and addressed it almost matter of factly.

  ‘I suppose we’ve never really talked about these things, I’d just always assumed most of what you’ve just said. I didn’t realise you and Sophie aren’t close, but it’s pretty obvious over you and Gerald. I hope you don’t mind me saying so?’ Victoria drained her glass and looked down the bar for the bartender. He was leaning over, chatting to a girl who was propped the other side. She was drinking while he was meant to be serving.

  ‘God, he has got a nice bum,’ Victoria said. ‘Excuse me, could we have a top up please.’ The bartender casually looked up, raised himself to what must have been nearly 6ft 3 inches and walked down the bar smiling at Victoria and Jules.

  ‘Ladies, I am sorry, of course, two dry white wines. Large wasn’t it?’ Victoria was sure there was a twinkle in his eye as he addressed them.

  After he had poured out their drinks he returned to his pose at the other end of the bar and recommenced his conversation with the girl.

  ‘Now that would be a bit of fun for a Friday night,’ said Jules as she followed Victoria’s gaze back down the bar. ‘Of course I don’t mind you saying about Gerald. I think everyone in bloody Winchester realises how we are together. But what are we going to do about you and Mike? That is the real question?’

  ‘God knows. I’ve tried ever since we found out we couldn’t have kids. I have had the shop, he works, we enjoy our evenings, our meals, a glass of wine, it’s all very easy if you know what I mean.’ Victoria stopped looking at the barman and turned to her friend.

  ‘Well you seem to be describing two people sharing a house not a marriage. Perhaps you should just have a little honesty between you both.’ Jules was always so self-assured with her views, thought Victoria.

  ‘You mean lead separate lives?’ Victoria asked and then found her head turning back down the bar.

  ‘Well if you could stop looking at that boy for a minute!’ Victoria was stung into action by her friend’s words and turned to face her again.

  ‘Sorry Jules, you have my attention!’

  ‘Look, I don’t know if you and Mike are drifting apart, reached the end of the road or what. All I do know is that it must have been a hell of a strain on you with him in that chair most of the time and perhaps you owe it to yourself to live a little. That may be just sleeping in the spare bedroom for a while, it may be more.’ Jules lifted her glass and took a sip.

  ‘You’re right of course. Let’s just see what time brings, no need for rash decisions and I do think Mike is happier with the current arrangements at home. Perhaps I have been too demanding on him physically and he would rather we had our own space.’ Victoria took one last drink from her glass and it was empty.

  ‘We need to get going
,’ said Jules ‘You know where I am if you ever need me.’

  As the two friends stood up from their bar stools they gave each other an impromptu hug.

  ‘Thanks Jules, you’re a good friend. Next week, let’s get down to planning our holiday in more detail.’ Victoria said as they walked from the bar. ‘I feel the need for sun, sea and well, let’s just say I may not say no to anything else if the right offer came my way at the moment.’ Victoria tried to look casually over her shoulder at the young bartender as they walked through the door, the action was not lost on her friend Jules.

  CHAPTER 7

  WHAT HAD started as trench warfare from 1916 evolved into the Cold War. There wasn’t even the odd barbed comment any more, Mike was happy with being left alone in the master bedroom. He felt less self-conscious when he lurched into the en-suite for his nightly pee. Victoria seemed pleased to be able to sit up and read late into the night without disturbing him. She even treated herself to a small flat-screen TV so she could watch a film in bed, something that Mike would never have condoned. As she unwrapped it, she felt pleased with the little piece of independence that it gave her.

  ‘Well, Michael you will not be complaining about being kept up late and then missing that sodding commuter train.’ Victoria thought to herself as she looked through the instructions and placed the remote on the bedside table.

  ‘Nice TV,’ said Mike, looking around the door as he pushed himself up the corridor on his way to bed. ‘Don’t you think it makes the place look like a hotel room though?’

  ‘A hotel room is designed for comfort and so that is fine with me,’ replied Victoria. ‘Although I have to say a hotel room is also usually temporary accommodation, but this is permanent!’

  ‘Sorry for asking,’ Mike responded as he pushed on into the master bedroom and closed the door behind him.

  After he climbed into bed he drifted off to sleep quickly. He had not dreamt of Andrea since Victoria had moved into the spare bedroom. He had tried to think of her but could not seem to link up with the alternative life.

  ‘Well I’m pleased to see we’re finally going to make some time for each other.’ Andrea was laying on the grass on a picnic blanket in a pair of jeans and a loose baggy jumper.

  ‘Where have you been? I have so wanted to see you.’ Mike did not want to sound accusing but had missed her over the recent weeks.

  ‘Well you know I have been watching how things have been unfolding with Victoria. I can sense these issues and thought there should be a little space between us. I feel responsible for what is happening in your marriage. I thought you and your good lady, if I can call her that, should have a little time to sort things out.’ Andrea smiled up at Mike, he was standing, not sure whether to sit or recline beside her.

  ‘In the end, I thought I’d given it enough time and frankly was missing you, so here I am. Why don’t you sit down and relax? I guess now you could share a glass of wine without the risk of being discovered!’ Andrea tapped the rug next to her. Mike sat down, stretched out his legs and looked at the view. Andrea passed him a chilled glass of white wine, where she had got it from he was not quite sure. It had just appeared.

  ‘Thank you. I’ve missed you too.’ Mike sipped his glass. ‘Lovely – a chilled dry white to accompany a lovely view. I really don’t know how we manage to end up in places like this but I do find it relaxing. The last time we saw each other was on the old station platform.’

  ‘I remember, you had wanted a steam train to come along.’ Andrea raised her glass also containing the same chilled white wine.

  ‘Well that was the weekend that started everything off. I had suggested a steam train ride for a change with Victoria, it seemed natural after the dream and she frankly went off on one. By Sunday night she had moved into the spare bedroom.’

  ‘Mike, Mike be honest with yourself, it was going wrong long before that, long before we had started meeting in your dreams.’ Andrea sounded supportive, not accusing. ‘The truth is Mike, no one has affairs if they are happily married. While we’ve only hugged, we’re more drawn to each other than you are with Victoria. And while we are on the subject, if I had not intervened, your dick would have been in that Sophie’s mouth about as quickly as you could have got it out from your trousers. I would hardly say that was the action of a happily married man! You were tempted, let’s just accept that.’

  Mike stood up suddenly. He did not need to be reminded of his evening with Sophie. He dropped the glass and it fell to the ground with a smash, wine flowed across the rug and splashed up his trouser leg.

  He turned over in bed and saw Victoria standing over him. His hand still held a now empty glass of water and the duvet was soaking. He could feel the dampness reaching his pyjama bottoms.

  ‘Well that is a bloody mess. You must have dozed off holding the glass, in your sleep you sort of called out and because I am the considerate wife that I am, though God only knows why, I came in to help!’ Victoria looked angry and not a little upset at the thought of extra washing.

  ‘Thank you for coming in, I am sure I could manage though.’ Mike felt rather helpless, he knew he would need his wife to change the bed whilst he sat in his chair. He could do it but it would take ten times as long and cause a lot of noise and therefore disturb her in the spare bedroom.

  ‘Well you had better get out of bed whilst I get the new duvet and cover. Push yourself over there in the corner out of the way so I can work my way around both sides of the bed.’ As Victoria left the room Mike got himself into his chair and positioned it as instructed. He watched as Victoria stripped the wet duvet off and set to work stuffing the clean one into a new cover and placing it on the bed. He watched as she bent over the duvet to straighten it. She was wearing an old white T shirt of his and no knickers.

  ‘There was a time when I would have playfully spanked that arse at this point,’ he mused to himself. Victoria still had an attractive body but somehow Mike had no urge to touch it. He had spent years touching it and he had no wish to do so again. ‘Why had it gone this far?’ He thought to himself.

  ‘There,’ said Victoria, as she straightened up. ‘Dry bedclothes. Now I’m off to watch the rest of my film in bed. Thanks for helping me miss the start.’

  She walked to the door and calmly shut it behind her. Mike pushed his chair to the side of the bed and lifted himself into a sitting position on it and then swung his legs up with both hands under his knees.

  ‘Goodnight, and thank you!’ He called, though he could tell from the volume of the television that Victoria was unlikely to hear. Mike slipped his body under the sheets and wondered if he would see Andrea again in his dreams.

  CHAPTER 8

  IN FACT it was not for a couple more nights, on a Friday, that Mike went to sleep and saw Andrea laying on the same picnic rug in the same meadow. Only this time she was wearing one of her wrap-around silk dresses that he loved.

  ‘If I offer to pour a glass of wine for you are you going to try not to spill it?’ She asked almost mischievously

  ‘Promise, as long as you promise not to mention Sophie. That really hurt.’ Mike reached out his hand and took the glass that Andrea was proffering.

  ‘Well frankly you should learn to be a little less precious. I said it as I saw it. I was not meaning to be judgemental. You’re a bloke and why would you not have gone for it, unless of course you were in a fulfilling loving whole relationship with someone who made you feel special all the time.’ Andrea looked up from her seating position on the rug, her blonde fringe framing her piercing blue eyes as she looked up at him.

  Mike started to feel aroused. He was standing up, close to her, he had taken the glass of wine but not sat down. He was staring down at her dress, the way it curved over her breasts and it fell slightly open down her cleavage. He realised that he would have to sit down as it was getting pretty obvious his groin was straining at his trousers.

  Andrea smiled up at him. ‘I suggest you come and sit down young man,’ she said, aware of t
he effect she was having on him but not wanting to be too direct and cause him any embarrassment.

  ‘That sounds like an invitation that’s hard to refuse.’ Mike sat down beside her, their legs casually touching. He carefully placed his glass on the rug beside him. He did not want to ruin this moment. He had not felt this turned on since Sophie. But at the same time this also felt different, more meaningful, less blatant and gratuitous.

  Andrea also put down her glass and placed an arm around him. As they kissed Mike felt as though he would never feel the same again. This is what it should be like. They lay in each other’s arms, the sky above was blue and there was bird song coming from trees nearby. They spent time stroking each other, gradually undressing each other, drinking in their respective bodies with their eyes. This was a moment to savour, for both of them.

  After they made love, Mike held Andrea close, wanting to be one with her. They gently dozed off happy and content.

  As Mike woke up he was pleased to see he was still with Andrea, he had not woken in his other life. He preferred to think of it that way as opposed to real life. This felt more real, and so his living life was simply just different.

  ‘Darling,’ it was Andrea who spoke first. ‘I think I really am now the other woman. We’ve crossed a line – we’re having an affair.’

  ‘Well I’m inclined to agree,’ said Mike. ‘Although I think Victoria would find it hard to name you in divorce proceedings! I guess I would just exhibit in my defence your death certificate!’

  The both laughed out loud at the ridiculous situation that they were in.

  ‘Bye for now, we must go our separate ways.’ Andrea pecked him on the cheek, stood up and walked away, melting into the distance, in the way Mike had got used to.

  As the next morning was Saturday, Victoria usually started early in the house, stripping the beds and putting a wash on before opening up the shop. Mike was happy to do some chores and then brave the supermarket for the weekly shop.