The Case of the Missing Drag Queen

by Michael Rupured

  Charlie roared, bucking and squirming to knock her off, but Pixie held on like a rodeo bull rider, punching him and telling him why every chance she got.

  Luke squatted close by and massaged his aching upper arms, ready to come to her aid should she need his help. Then it would be his turn to settle the score with Charlie.

  “Okay, Pixie.”

  Luke turned to see Rusty Gates behind them wearing tight-fitting jeans, a flannel shirt, and work boots.

  “You’ve had your fun,” Rusty said. “Let him up.”

  Pixie punched Charlie again. “And that’s for bein’ such a dick.” Then she stood and brushed her hands together. “Where’s Ruby?”

  “Bound and gagged in a closet upstairs,” Luke said, rising to his feet.

  “Come on,” Pixie said, grabbing his hand and heading for the stairs.

  Luke looked at Rusty. “Need my help with Charlie?”

  “No.” Rusty shook his head. “See to Ruby. I radioed for backup when you yelled for help.” He folded his arms across his chest. “Not that I need any help. Right, Charlie?”

  Charlie ignored the question but didn’t appear likely to resist as he sat cross-legged on the floor with his head in his hands.

  Pixie followed Luke upstairs. Ruby had managed to wiggle out of the closet and into the hallway. They dropped to their knees beside her. Pixie worked to free Ruby’s hands. Luke removed the gag and then tackled the extension cord knotted around her legs.

  “Thank you,” Ruby croaked. She sat up and leaned against the wall. “What day is it?”

  “November 2,” Luke replied.

  “November?” Ruby shook her head. “I’ve lost all track of time.”

  “You been gone nearly two weeks, darlin’,” Pixie said. “Been in that closet the whole time?”

  “Just about.” Ruby turned to Pixie. “Can you help me to the powder room?”

  Luke and Pixie helped Ruby to her feet. Her knees trembled, and she held on to Luke as they guided her into the bathroom.

  “Shoo!” Pixie said, waving Luke away. “Keep Rusty company. I got it from here.”

  “Yes, ma’am,” Luke said, stepping back to avoid getting hit in the face by the door. He returned to the living room where Charlie hadn’t moved, and Rusty sat on the sofa thumbing through a magazine.

  Rusty looked up. “She okay?”

  “Considering what she’s been through, I think so.” Luke glared at Charlie. “Pixie took her to the bathroom.”

  “An ambulance is on the way,” Rusty said. “She needs to be checked by a doctor.”

  “Can’t tell you how glad I am you came when you did,” Luke said.

  “Pixie called me about an hour ago and filled me in.” He looked at Luke and shook his head. “You should have told me.”

  Luke’s face grew hot. “I didn’t want to get arrested.”

  “Arrested?” Rusty dropped the magazine onto the coffee table. “For what?”

  Luke told Rusty about taking money from the suitcase for Ruby’s rent.

  Rusty shook his head. “District Attorney wouldn’t touch it. As the manager, you have the right to enter the apartment, and you were essentially doing her a favor.”

  “Police! Open the door!”

  “Better let me answer that,” Rusty said, jumping up from the sofa. “Wouldn’t want them to take down the wrong guy.”

  He returned a moment later with two uniformed officers and pointed to Charlie. “Seems Mr. Ross here has gotten himself into quite a lot of trouble. Kidnapping. Robbery. Vandalism. Assault and battery.” He looked at Charlie. “Am I leaving anything out?”

  Charlie looked up and raised his middle finger. “Fuck you.”

  “Book him,” Rusty said.

  They jerked Charlie to his feet, frisked him, and after cuffing his hands behind his back, escorted him from the apartment.

  Sirens wailed in the distance and grew louder as Pixie helped Ruby down the steps. The beard was gone, a bandanna topped her head, and she wore a long-sleeved dress shirt, belted at the waist, with the sleeves rolled up to her elbows. She strode over to Luke, extended her hand, and smiled. “I don’t believe we’ve been formally introduced. Ruby Dubonnet.”

  He grasped her hand. “Luke Tanner.”

  “Pixie told me about your investigation,” Ruby said. She held his hand with both of hers. “Thank you, for everything you’ve done to find someone you’d never met.”

  Luke’s face grew hot. “I feel like I know you—I’ve heard so much about you.”

  “Oh, dear.” She covered her mouth with her hand and shook her head. “I hope it hasn’t turned you against me.”

  “Not at all,” Luke said. “Your neighbors—myself included—think very highly of you.”

  “You’re too kind. Are Millie and Vince okay?” She wrung her hands together. “I’ve been worried sick about how hard this ordeal has been on them.”

  “Fine as frog hair,” Pixie said. “Me and Millie’s gonna get together to watch Day After Day. Wanna join us?”

  “No, thank you.” Ruby shook her head. “I’ve had quite enough of the whole Fontana-Dirk story line.”

  “The ambulance is here to take you to the hospital,” Rusty said. Two EMTs holding tool boxes full of medical supplies stood behind him.

  “No need to go to the hospital.” Ruby shook her head and waved them off. “I’m fine.” She pointed to Luke. “Make sure Mr. Tanner is okay before you go. He rescued me from the brute.”

  “I’m okay,” Luke said, waving them away. “Just some bruises.”

  The EMTs looked back and forth at one another and turned to Ruby. The older of the two men spoke. “Sir, you should at least let us check your vital signs.”

  Ruby leveled her gaze at him. “If you insist.”

  The EMTs donned stethoscopes and descended upon her with a blood pressure cuff, a thermometer, a reflex hammer, and a light the younger man proceeded to shine into her eyes and orifices. After a moment, the younger EMT stood, wrote something on a clipboard and said, “All good.”

  “Wonderful.” She smiled. “Thank you.”

  A man in a brown suit came into the living room, stopped, and nodded to everyone. “Dick Cerrone. I’m the lead investigator on this case.”

  Ruby sighed. “I suppose you have a million questions for me.”

  “Yes, sir.” He turned to Pixie and Luke. “I have questions for you too.”

  Luke glanced at his watch and yawned.

  “Could we do that tomorrow?” Ruby clasped her hands together as if in prayer. “Please? I’m sorry, I just want to go home and take a long, hot, bath.”

  “I’m beat,” Pixie said.

  Luke nodded and yawned again.

  “Give me ten minutes, and I’ll let you go.” Detective Cerrone handed them each a business card. “I’ll need statements from you two as well.”

  “Looks like you guys have everything under control,” Rusty said. He turned to Pixie. “Am I taking you home?”

  “Yes, sir.” Pixie turned to Luke. “Will you take Ruby home?”

  “Sure.” Luke smiled. “Not like I have to go out of my way.”

  Chapter 34

  LUKE SAT on the side of the bed and groaned. His body ached from head to toe, and he was exhausted. The sun was coming up when he got back to the Sinclair Arms with Ruby. After a four-hour nap, he’d picked up Pixie and spent the afternoon downtown answering Detective Cerrone’s questions before returning home for another nap.

  “What time is it?” Pixie sat up behind him, rubbed her eyes, and grimaced. “My knuckles hurt like the dickens.”

  “Going on six thirty,” Luke replied. “My whole body hurts. Our little nap wasn’t nearly long enough.”

  “Longer than if ya had taken me home and come back to pick me up.” She punched him on the arm. “Can’t wait to tell everyone we’ve slept together.”

  Luke laughed and stretched. “Millie said to come over around seven.”

  “She said not to worry abo
ut bringing anything,” Pixie said. “But I feel like we oughta bring something. Still got them Ritz Crackers?”

  Luke shrugged. “I didn’t eat any, so if you bought them, they’re still here.”

  “Good.” Pixie jumped out of bed and reached for her purse. She dug around for a moment, pulled something out, and dashed into the kitchen.

  Luke forced himself to get up and hobbled to the bathroom. He checked his reflection in the mirror and groaned again.

  “What’s wrong?” Pixie looked up from whatever she was doing in the kitchen.

  “I hate my hair.” He removed his T-shirt and dropped it on the floor.

  “You don’t want me cuttin’ on it.” Pixie shook her head. “No siree bob. Get yourself an appointment with Kitty. In the long run, paying a professional for cuts, color, and perms is cheaper.”

  “She’s a barber?”

  Pixie shook her head. “Beautician. Works at Chez Timothy over off Ashland Avenue.”

  Luke kneeled next to the bathtub, dunked his head under the faucet, and quickly washed and rinsed his hair. Pixie said something he couldn’t hear for the hair-dryer. “Wait a minute. Almost done.”

  She shook her head and picked up the telephone. After a moment, she nodded and hung up.

  Luke turned off the dryer, and, moving his head as little as possible, closed his eyes, held his breath, and applied hairspray until every hair was laminated into place.

  “Jesus Christ!” Pixie waved her hands in front of her face. “They don’t use that much hairspray at the Miss America pageant.”

  “I bet.” Luke smiled. “Who was on the phone?”

  “Frank.”

  “Am I supposed to call him back?”

  “No.” Pixie shook her head and opened the oven. “He said to come in early Thursday. He wants to talk to you about something.” She grabbed a potholder and pulled out a baking sheet full of sandwich cookies. “Try one.”

  Taking care not to burn his fingers, Luke gingerly picked one up and took a bite. “Mmm. That’s really good! What’s in the middle?”

  “Chocolate and caramel.” Pixie set the cookie sheet on the stove, turned off the oven, and grabbed a plate from the cabinet.

  Luke poked the rest of the cookie into his mouth. “From my kitchen?”

  “My purse.” She arranged the rest of the cookies on the plate and then waggled a finger at him. “And don’t talk with your mouth full.”

  “Yes, ma’am.” Luke furrowed his brow. “You carry baking supplies around with you?”

  She laughed. “No, silly. Rolos. You ready?”

  They stepped across the hall, and Luke knocked on Millie Maxwell’s door. Vince Patrick waved them inside. “Come on in. Millie’s in her closet with Ruby trying to find something to wear Thursday night.”

  “What’s goin’ on Thursday?” Pixie set the plate of cookies on the coffee table alongside a plate of heart-shaped cookies with red icing, a bowl of mixed nuts, a dish of pastel mints, and a cheeseball surrounded by variously shaped crackers on a cutting board.

  “Millie and I are going out to eat with Michael Dean,” Vince said.

  Ruby and Millie emerged from the bedroom. After hugs and greetings were exchanged, Millie took a seat on her ladderback chair, Vince took the recliner, and Luke sat next to Pixie on the sofa.

  “Care for sherbet punch,” Ruby asked.

  “Mmm,” Pixie exclaimed. “Orange or lime?”

  “Why, rainbow, of course.” Ruby smiled. “It tastes better than it looks or sounds.”

  Someone knocked on the door as Ruby distributed crystal cups brimming with foamy gray punch ladled from a large glass bowl. Luke was closest and got up to answer the door.

  “My hero!” Michael Dean threw his arms around Luke and hugged him tight.

  The effusive greeting caught Luke off guard. His face heated up as he awkwardly returned the hug. He’d forgotten how nice it was to be in the arms of an attractive man. Michael’s light, citrusy scent—more likely from soap than cologne—was intoxicating, with a hint of lime Luke wanted to taste.

  “Thank you for rescuing Ruby,” Michael said. He released Luke and wrapped his arms around Ruby. “Are you okay?”

  Luke dropped onto the sofa and sighed.

  “I’m fine,” Ruby said. “Have you met everyone?”

  “Not me.” Pixie jumped to her feet and extended her hand. “Pixie Wilder. Pleased to meet you.”

  “Michael Dean.” He took her hand in both of his and smiled. “I’m a little starstruck.”

  “Be still my beatin’ heart.” Pixie batted her eyes at him. “Gorgeous and sweet talkin’.”

  Ruby handed Michael a glass of punch and pointed to the space between Pixie and Luke. “Have a seat.” She rested an arm on the back of Millie’s chair and waited for Michael to settle onto the couch.

  “Thanks, everyone, for coming tonight.” Ruby patted Millie’s shoulder. “And thank you for hosting our little get together. I was hoping Frank, Simone, and Kitty could be here, but the girls are doing a show in Louisville, and you know how Frank is.” She shook her head and threw up her hands. “The Garden comes first.”

  “He’ll be sorry,” Vince said, shaking his head. “If I had it to do over again, I’d work less and spend more time with Helen.”

  “Same here,” Millie said, nodding. She reached over and patted his knee. “Thought we’d have plenty of time after we retired.”

  Proximity to Michael made focusing on the conversation difficult. Inches away, Guess jeans clung to his well-muscled thighs like a second skin. Discreet sidelong glances left much to be desired, but had they not been sitting side by side, Luke would have embarrassed himself staring at him.

  “I can’t begin to tell you how grateful I am for such wonderful friends,” Ruby said. She scanned the room, resting her gaze for a moment on each person. “Charlie put us through quite an ordeal the past couple of weeks.”

  “They’re gonna love his ass in prison,” Pixie said. Her hand flew to her mouth. “Sorry.”

  “He needs counseling, Pixie. Not prison.” Ruby shook her head. “And perhaps medication.”

  “Or maybe a lobotomy,” Vince said with a nod. “That’d fix him.”

  Ruby gave him a stern look before continuing.

  “I’m going to tell you what happened and answer your questions.” Ruby took a deep breath and let it out slow. “Then I’d prefer to put this horrendous incident behind us and never speak of it again.”

  Chapter 35

  EVERY EYE in the room was riveted on Ruby. She perched on the arm of the recliner and draped her arm around Vince’s neck.

  “For years, Tippy and Amber Berger have hired me to help with the theme for their annual Derby extravaganza. Mostly, I work with Amber. Tippy lets her have her way and pays for whatever she wants.”

  Millie shook her head. “Spending money is her only talent.”

  “She gives a mean blowjob,” Pixie said. She covered her mouth and winced. “Sorry.”

  Ruby didn’t crack a smile and continued. “This year, Amber… wasn’t available to finalize the plans.”

  Pixie snorted. “’Cuz she was down in South America with Buddy Sinclair gettin’ a facelift, a boob job, and a tummy tuck.”

  “In her absence,” Ruby continued. “Tippy and I spent hours working out details for the party. We’ve known one another for ages, but until this year, had never exchanged more than pleasantries. He’s delightful when his wife isn’t around and he’s sober.”

  “Familiar story,” Vince said, shaking his head. “Never ends well when alcohol is the glue holding a bad marriage together.”

  “Believe it or not,” Ruby continued, smiling. “We graduated the same year, but from different high schools. I went to Bryan Station; he went to Henry Clay. Although we didn’t meet until years later, we frequented many of the same places when we were growing up. Joyland Park & Bowl. Magee’s Bakery. The Phoenix Hotel. Parkette Drive-In. Shackleton’s music store.”

  Vinc
e chuckled. “My first kiss was on the Ferris wheel at Joyland Park.”

  “I got engaged at our senior prom in the ballroom of the Phoenix Hotel,” Millie said.

  “Very sweet,” Michael said. “What does your affair with Tippy have to do with Charlie?”

  “We spent as much time together as possible,” Ruby said. “But it was no affair. Sham or not, Tippy is married, and I’d never knowingly sleep with someone else’s man.”

  “Charlie was Tippy’s gigolo,” Luke said. “Tippy paid his rent, bought him a BMW, and gave him an allowance.”

  “I had no idea,” Ruby said. “Tippy’s sex life was none of my business. We’re simply companions who, among other things, enjoy piling up on the couch to watch old movies nobody else is interested in seeing.”

  “Sounds like an affair to me,” Michael said.

  “Yes,” Ruby said. “It does. Despite my best intentions, I had become the other woman. We had no physical relationship but were very much in love. I knew I had to end it but kept putting it off. Getting crabs from him was the push I needed to break things off.”

  “Wow,” Luke exclaimed. “What a story.”

  “What happened the night of your last performance,” Pixie asked.

  “Thursday night before the show, Charlie asked if he could give me a ride home because he wanted my advice about something personal. He took me to his apartment and must have slipped something into my orange juice because the next thing I remember is waking up bound and gagged on the floor of that dark closet.”

  “You poor dear,” Millie said, taking Ruby’s hand.

  “Jerk,” Pixie said. “Was you tied up in that closet the whole time?”

  “No,” Ruby said, shaking her head. “Only when he slept or left the apartment. He kept giving me Valium, which, under the circumstances, I was happy to take. Made me wear that awful, old man’s underwear, wouldn’t let me shave, then made me stand in front of the mirror while he taunted me and ranted about everyone who’d ruined his life.”

  Millie shook her head. “What a sad young man.”

  “Shit,” Pixie said. “Pardon my French, but that sad young man had every advantage and ain’t got nobody to blame but his self for fucking up.”