In with the Tide

by Charlee James

  Lindsey pulled out all the stops, enhancing her eyes with mascara and turning her lips into a sultry slick pout with lipstick and gloss. She used a round brush and blow dryer to add some extra oomph to her straight hair. Her room looked as though a hurricane blew through it as she rummaged through her closet, tossing articles of clothing all over the bed until she found something that satisfied her. Lindsey let out a grateful breath when the zipper on the black dress pulled up easily.

  She was just clasping a silver pendant around her neck w the side door opened. Lindsey hoped she hadn’t gone overboard but it was her first date in a very, very long time, with a man who put stars in her eyes and a song in her heart. He stopped dead in his tracks when he saw her in the hallway, Maris in one hand, and a lush bouquet of pink peonies in the other.

  “I don’t tell you enough, Lindsey, but you’re beautiful. It doesn’t matter if you’re in sweatpants or dressed up, you’re striking.”

  It wasn’t his kind words that had her heart jumping to her throat, but the intense look in his eyes that told her he meant every word of it.

  “For my date,” he said holding out the bouquet. “Every head will turn tonight when you walk by.”

  She moved closer, accepted the flowers, and inhaled their sweet scent. She lifted her gaze to him and for one heartbeat, their eyes locked. The air around them sparked with electricity. Eager anticipation danced in the space between them. They both looked up at the sound of a knock on the door—a distinct rat-a-tat-tat. Why did her parents always have to be early? She was disappointed the moment ended and went to open the door for them.

  “Where’s that little munchkin?” her mother said and gave her a quick hug before breezing past. Her father followed her inside, and glanced with approval at the flowers she held. After a few family dinners together, he’d thawed to the idea of Damien. She secretly thought he even liked him. Her dad kissed her cheek and walked over to Maris, who was being smothered with nuzzles and coos.

  “We were starting to think you’d never ask us to babysit,” Tanya said, and easily stole Maris from Damien’s arms.

  Lindsey started rattling off instructions and feeding habits and she pointed out the list of important numbers that hung on the fridge.

  “Don’t you worry.” Allen raised his brows at the instructions. “We managed to keep you alive, didn’t we?”

  Lindsey laughed. “That doesn’t inspire much confidence, Dad.” She took a deep breath. It would be their first time leaving the house without Maris.

  Tanya rolled her eyes. “It shouldn’t.” She turned toward Damien and added, “I left one afternoon to go shopping and came home to Lindsey munching on crayons. Allen was fast asleep and the house looked as though a tornado swept through.”

  Allen’s eyes twinkled. “Fathering is tiring business.” He chuckled.

  “You two get going and don’t worry about a thing. We’ve got this.” Tanya grinned and planted a kiss on the baby’s cheek.

  “Okay, but just call if—” Lindsey started to say.

  “We will. We’ll call with any questions. Just go and have a nice time.” Allen put a hand on his wife’s shoulder and began to lead her into the living room.

  Damien took Lindsey’s keys off the counter, and placed a hand at the small of her back as they walked toward the driveway. He opened the door for her, and closed it once she was settled inside.

  “What’s all this about, Damien? You’re being very secretive.” She grinned even though nerves swam through her stomach like minnows pushing against a net.

  “Just relax and enjoy. When’s the last time you went out for a nice night?” He started the car, glanced over, and smirked back. He was definitely up to something.

  “Hmm.” She tried to think back. “I guess if I have to think about it this long, it’s been a while. What about you?”

  “My feet barely touched U.S. soil before I found out my father died. After that, I was on the road to come here. The last time I went out and really enjoyed it was that morning we went to the diner. It’s when you decided to let me bunk at your house.” His lips curved.

  “It was a very smart decision.” She looked out to the water as they drove past a stretch of beach. Straggling beachgoers were pulling down their colorful umbrellas and folding up sandy towels. “You’ve more than upheld your end of our bargain. I still have a stack of papers to go through.” She really needed to get on it. It wasn’t fair to slack on her end of the deal when he’d completed his in spades.

  “There’s no rush.” He turned the wheel, and they pulled up to a waterside restaurant.

  Lights glowed from every window and patrons meandered along the elegant wraparound porch, enjoying the ocean view. Damien came around to her side of the car, opened the door, and together they walked under the white columned portico and into the restaurant. He had put a lot of thought into this. More flutters filled her chest. The hostess found their name in her book, took two menus, and led them to a corner table. The wide arched windows opened the room up to the ocean.

  “This view is incredible. It’s like we’re right on the beach.” Lindsey looked out and memorized the landscape. The sun was beginning to dip lower over the horizon. The sky looked like rainbow sherbet with wispy, cotton candy-pink clouds surrounding a ripe orange sun that cast a trail of vanilla sparkles over the calm water.

  “Looks like we’ll catch the sunset from here, too.” He reached across the table and took her hand. The small gesture still sent tingles down her spine, especially when he caressed her hand, like she was something precious and dear to him. Even though it was wrong, part of her desperately hoped his father’s house stayed on the market for a little longer. The other part of her wished only good things for him—even if it meant he chose to leave after all. The waitress visited their table, took their drink order, and returned quickly with two frosty glasses of lemonade. Lindsey would be nursing for a while yet so the long list of high-end wines was off-limits.

  The menu had her mouth watering and in the end, she decided on seared sea scallops, while Damien ordered a steak. Once the waitress left with their order, Damien met her eyes and smiled. He had a face she’d never tire of seeing, and the curve at his lips made her heart croon—like she was the motive for it.

  “Now, for the reason behind our celebration.” He gave her hand a quick squeeze and dug into his pocket. Her heart leaped into her throat and returned to her chest when he pulled out an envelope and set it next to him. She had to laugh at herself. What was she expecting—a ring? They’d reconnected only a few months ago. Their future was so uncertain. How could she possibly think that? Is that what she wanted from him? To be tangled up in another marriage? It was a scary thought, but Damien made her want those things again—the promises and the responsibility of them.

  “I know you’ve been saying you don’t think your talent could earn you a livable income, so when you pulled out those old oil paintings, I borrowed one and took it to the gallery on Main Street—just to see.” His smile grew wider, as the corners of her lips dropped.

  Her eyes narrowed. How could he think it was okay to take one of her paintings, to make that kind of decision on her behalf? Anger simmered slowly under the surface of her skin.

  As if reading her mind, he squeezed her hand. “Linds, I believe in you. I know I didn’t ask to take the canvas but I wanted to show you how talented you really are. To make you have confidence in yourself just like I do.” Damien straightened out the envelope on the table.

  “I’m trying hard to build my confidence back up on my own, and part of that step would have been soliciting my work when the time was right.” Lindsey balled her hands into tight fists in her lap. “You have no idea what it was like with Matthew. He made every decision. Dictated every choice. He made me feel like…like I was never enough.”

  Matthew had been all about control, always telling her how to wear her hair and how to dress. He made sure they socialized with the right circle to fuel his career, and brushed off the
idea of meeting the friends she’d made in college. Damien was supposed to understand her better than anyone—and yet hadn’t he just taken control away from her, too?

  Lindsey glanced down at the table. Her eyes burned with fresh tears fighting to escape over the edges of her eyelids. She forced them back, and looked up at Damien who sat dumbfounded, like a steamroller had just chugged through the dining room and flattened him.

  When he spoke, his terse words were barely a whisper. “How could you say I have no idea what it’s like to have control stripped away from me? To be made to feel less? My dad told me every day with his fists. No matter how good I was, no matter what I did right, I couldn’t stop him. My mother wasn’t there to protect me because I wasn’t enough to make her stay.”

  His eyes bore into her with such ferocity, it was a wonder she didn’t melt into a waxy puddle of guilt on the floor. Of course, he knew what it felt like, he’d had a whole lifetime of mental abuse and came out stronger for it. She’d put up with Matthew for only two years, and it crushed her. What did that say about the strength of her character? She looked down at the table, unable to hold his tense gaze.

  “Lindsey, look at me.” She brought her eyes up to his. “I submitted your painting because I believe in your talent. You’re blowing it out of proportion. If you want to experience selling it to someone yourself, take it into another gallery.”

  Her back stiffened and she sat up straight as an iron rod. How could he downplay her feelings and tell her she was overreacting? Her feelings were hers, and hers alone.

  “You believe in my talent, Damien, but not in me. Do you think I’ll never be strong enough to develop the confidence to do things on my own?”

  “That’s not what I was thinking at all. I thought if you could sell your work, you’d be able to stand on your own two feet while doing what you love.”

  So that’s what this was all about. He wanted her to stand on her own, so he could hit the road like he’d always intended to. How silly she’d been to think their growing relationship would be enough to keep him here. Well, he could pack up and go at any time. She’d be just fine, financially and otherwise. It was a lie, one that hurt her so deeply. She wouldn’t be okay if he left.

  Their meals came and they both sat in strained silence. She could have been tasting the world’s finest cuisine or a pile of dirt. The fight had stripped her senses bare, and all she could focus on was their crumbling relationship, falling apart in a matter of moments, like an overbaked coffee cake.

  They limped through a painfully quiet dinner. Damien asked the waitress for the check, and slid his credit card inside the leather pad without glancing at the bill. They left the restaurant walking single file, like they were part of a chain gang. The car ride was no better. Scenery blurred past as they drove mile after mile without a single word. The silence inside the car was deafening. This had been their first real date, and it went up in flames faster than a dried-out log soaked in gasoline. Was it a foreshadowing of their future?

  When the car finally crawled into the driveway, Lindsey unbuckled before Damien was able to shift gears into Park. She couldn’t stand another moment of the hushed disappointment that circled the air around them.

  They walked in and found her parents watching television.

  “You’re back early,” Tanya said. “Did you have a nice time?”

  “Yes,” Lindsey choked out. Of course, they knew otherwise. Damien and Lindsey stood feet away from each other, and her eyes were probably puffy from holding back the waterfall of tears that wanted to explode from her eyes. She noticed a look pass between her parents.

  “Was Maris all right?” Lindsey fiddled with the fabric of her dress. If only everyone would just clear out and she could be alone.

  “Good as gold.” Her father flicked off the TV and stood up. Her mother followed his lead. They hugged her, said goodbye to Damien, and left quickly, sensing the unsettled air.

  Lindsey went straight for the nursery and sunk into the rocker by Maris’s crib. When she heard the door to Damien’s room shut, she leaned her head back against the padded headrest. Maris was all she needed. She breathed in her soft new scent and let the tears flow down her cheeks. It seemed like things had ended before they’d even begun. She braced herself, knowing she might find him gone in the morning.

  Chapter Eleven

  When Damien woke the morning after his date with Lindsey, he rolled to his side and stared out the window. How had things gone so terribly wrong? He’d seriously pissed her off. Damien knew he shouldn’t have taken the painting. If she’d only unsealed the letter instead of stubbornly tucking it away, her tune may have changed. He considered leaving the night before, just to get some space and air. It only would’ve made matters worse.

  The fact that he even thought about running away shook him. It made him remember who he could become—a coward who fled from his responsibilities, like his mother. He wouldn’t ignore the problem, either, as his father would have. The need to be stronger than those he came from pushed him out of bed. He tugged on jeans and a black T-shirt, and went to find Lindsey. They’d deal with their issues, head-on.

  Hairs prickled up on his arms when he didn’t find them in the house. Wouldn’t that be something, if they were the ones to leave? His stomach clenched, then released, when he saw Lindsey sitting at the water’s edge with Maris on her lap and Daisy chasing the tide in and out. The dog barked every so often when the water lapped at her feet. He strode down to them, picking up a few flat rocks as he went. She didn’t turn to look at him when he approached, just gazed out blankly over the horizon.

  He sat down in a sandy pocket next to her, and held out some of the rocks, like a peace offering.

  “Best out of three?” He looked her in the eyes, hoping to disarm her.

  “Might be kind of tough to skip rocks.” Lindsey motioned to Maris who was wide-eyed and awake. Her eyes had changed from newborn-blue to Lindsey’s sea-glass green.

  “I wanted to talk to you about last night,” he said. When Lindsey didn’t respond, he continued. “I’m sorry, Lindsey. I am. I never meant to upset you or take away control. I was just…trying to make you happy, I guess, but I didn’t think things all the way through.”

  “You want me to stand on my own two feet, I know that. Tell me honestly, is that why you’ve stayed here so long? Because you’re afraid of what will happen to me if you leave? That I won’t be able to care for myself and Maris?”

  He put down the rocks and splayed his hands out on the sand. Damien’s stomach was hard and tight, like someone had emptied a bucket of concrete into it.

  “Lindsey, that’s not it at all. There was something else I wanted to talk to you about last night, but it wasn’t the right time.” She shifted Maris in her arms, then looked up, waiting for him to continue. “The night your parents came home from Aruba, I met a guy who works for Veteran’s Services, while I was picking up takeout at Anthony’s. He told me there were positions available in town to help military families, and we’ve talked a few times since then. When he originally brought up work, the timing wasn’t right. I think it is now.”

  Lindsey seemed to hesitate and he wondered if she wanted him to put down roots at all. “Is it something you’d be interested in? Something you’d enjoy doing?” The wind carried her hair away from her face. Even with the guarded expression, she was the prettiest woman he’d ever seen.

  “I’ve seen enough war, enough death. It’s an important thing to help soldiers transition home. It might be fulfilling, and something with meaning.” He paused, and then said, “I want to stay close to you and Maris, Lindsey.”

  “Damien, we couldn’t even make it through one dinner date. Do you think it’s smart to make such a big decision based on our relationship?” She closed her eyes and let out a breath. His heartbeat quickened—was she pushing him away already?

  “Let’s just call dinner a fluke thing.” He hoped to God it was.

  “I know you’ve never wanted a life
here, Damien. It’s not right to hold you here if it’s not what you truly want. The decision has to be yours.” He followed her eyes to the white-and-red sailboat that slowly floated along with the white-capped waves.

  “This was a dark place for me growing up, but there was one bright light, Lindsey—you.” He brushed her hair aside so he could see her face, touched her soft cheek, and guided her eyes to his. “You showed me kindness when no one else would. You sat with me on the bus in grade school, even though my clothes were uncool hand-me-downs from the thrift shop. I stole your lunch and instead of hating me, you brought an extra sandwich every day. You never forgot, not once. Do you have any idea what that meant to me?”

  Glistening tears formed in her eyes. She shook her head and gripped his hand. “Why did you push me away then when we were younger?”

  “I didn’t think I could survive another person I cared for leaving. I want to see what we have here, Lindsey. And I want to give this job a try, not just for that, but because it’s something good to balance out all the bad.” Was that forgiveness that flittered in her eyes? He scooted a bit closer to her.

  “I don’t know what’s going on between us, but know when I’m with you everything just seems right—better. I want to see what that means, too. Let’s both try to be more open. No more secrets, okay?” She leaned her head against his shoulder and he sighed with relief.

  “Scout’s honor,” he whispered into her hair.

  “I looked at the contract from the gallery last night,” she said after a while. A sandpiper ran by stopping every so often to peck at the sand.

  “Lindsey, you don’t have to—” She held up her free hand to quiet him.

  “It’s more than fair. It’s unbelievable—I’m not sure someone would really pay that for one canvas, but I’m going to give it a shot. The gallery will take 40 percent of the profits once the pieces start to sell. I did some research and that seems to be a little less than industry standard.”