Bittersweet Always
Page 31
My heart slammed into my stomach. “Who has Bruce?”
“Oh, the big fella that was in here?”
I nodded, eyes wide and urging him to hurry the hell up and give me an explanation.
“He got rehomed. Just last weekend, I think.”
“What?”
“Yep. Estelle had to come in and fill out the paperwork on Sunday afternoon.” He whistled. “She was not happy Monday morning.”
“But,” I sputtered. “Where?”
Pete frowned. “Not sure, sorry.”
My eyes burned with tears, my feet carrying me on instinct back toward Clancy’s cage, a skittish border collie in the next row over.
Hesitantly, I reached into my pocket, giving her one of Bruce’s treats before clipping her leash on and walking her over in the far end of the facility. I should’ve been happy, and I was. I was relieved he’d found another home when no one thought he would.
Knowing it didn’t stop the tears from escaping, though.
I finished my shift quickly and efficiently, feeling sadly detached, then went home to mope with a tub of mint ice cream.
My phone rang from my bedroom later, causing my heart to hitch. I hadn’t heard from Toby since I got home on Sunday.
Looking at the display, I discovered it was my dad.
Trying not to sound disappointed, I answered with, “Hey.”
“Hi, kiddo. How you doing?”
“Okay,” I said, walking back out to the living area. “How’s Drew?”
“Drew.”
I rolled my eyes. “Still not any better?”
Dad sighed. “Not really, but he’s apparently decided to join the team again, so that’s a start.”
“They let him back?”
“He wouldn’t tell me. Your mom had to speak with his coach for him and explain some things, but yeah, he’s back.”
“They make excuses for good players.”
He chuckled. “They’re smart.”
Barking reached my ear. “The neighbors get a dog?”
“One sec.”
Rustling and some more growling ensued, my dad’s hushed voice saying, “Sit, no, no. Sit, yes, good boy. No. Shit.” Biting my lip, I waited for him to return. “Sorry. Check your phone, um … now.”
Putting him on speaker, I opened the picture that came through. My hand flew to my mouth as my phone clattered to the floor.
“Pippa?” my dad called out. “You there?”
I batted the onslaught of tears away, sniffling as I picked up my now cracked phone and said, “You didn’t.”
“I did. But Bruce, really? Can we change that?”
Crazed laughter erupted from me, loud and hysterical. “Oh, my God. That’s why you wanted to drive me back?”
“Subtle, right?” He chuckled. “This guy is trouble, Pip.”
“I told you he was.” He’d heard all about Bruce after I’d first started working at the shelter.
“Didn’t think he was this bad, though.” He guffawed. “Don’t look at me like that.”
“Put the phone to his ear,” I said.
“Okay, wait up.”
“Bruce, baby!”
More rustling. “Okay, no. He’s trying to eat it.”
I scoffed. “He wouldn’t.”
“How well do you know this dog?” He laughed. “Because your mom may just actually divorce me now. He ate her only pair of Manolos.”
Sniffling and laughing again, I said through a tear-strained voice, “Love you, Dad.”
“Love you too, kiddo.”
Hip-hop music shook the small house, and I took my water bottle with me outside to stop the looming headache from getting any worse.
“You’re drinking water?” Ed screwed up his face as I approached him and Callum.
“Had practice this afternoon and got a headache from not drinking enough.”
Callum held up his drink in salute. “How’s that going?”
Ed snorted. “Probably better than our asses are.”
“Speak for yourself, butter-fucking-fingers,” Callum interjected.
Ed’s arms spread out with his outrage. “Totally wasn’t my fault, asshole.”
I laughed with a shake of my head.
Callum narrowed an eye on me. “Laugh it up but do me a favor. Do not come to a game anytime soon.”
“Embarrassing, man,” Ed agreed.
“You lost by two points. Get over it.”
“Get over it?” Ed repeated. “You hear this dude?”
Callum took a sip of his drink. “Oh, I’m hearing it.”
I felt eyes on me, warming my neck and stomach. Turning around, I surveyed the small yard, peering through groups of people until I caught a flash of long brown hair.
“You back with her yet?” Ed asked, following my line of sight.
“Not yet.”
“Yet being the keyword there,” Callum said, pounding me on the arm. “Go straighten that out.”
That was kind of why I was there. Quinn, who was sitting by a burned-out drum with Daisy, Paul, and some chick I didn’t know, had said she was coming tonight with Daisy. I’d let her be since we got back, waiting to see if she was ready after our weekend together.
Because I knew when I felt her lips on my own that she was far from done with me.
“I’d lose the water first, though. Seriously.” Ed eyed the bottle like it was losing me some serious street cred.
“Fuck off,” I said with a grin, then made my way through the small clusters of people to find Pippa. I got pulled aside by a girl in my algebra class, asking if I could study with her sometime. I politely declined and kept on walking.
Green eyes burned bright in the dark, and I kept mine pinned on hers as I approached her and some guy she was talking to. She laughed, her eyes leaving mine as she returned her attention to him.
Don’t overreact. Chill.
I didn’t know who he was, and his back was to me, but I didn’t care. My blood simmered, ready to ignite if he touched her and …
He touched her. Not only did he brush his hand over her cheek, but he also leaned down to put his fucking mouth on something that wasn’t his.
But she technically wasn’t mine either. No matter how much it felt that way.
It slammed me upside the head then, making me spin around and walk away before I did something stupid. Every part of me belonged to her, but it was time to realize that no matter what I did, she might never belong to me.
I pushed the guy back. “You’re funny, but just because I laugh at something you say doesn’t mean you can try to kiss me.”
He had the good grace to look a little sheepish. “I’m sorry. I’m horrible at reading signals.”
“What’s your name again?”
“Aaron.”
“Right, Aaron. You were this close”—I pinched the air—“to getting the nipple cripple of a lifetime.”
Staggering back a step, he laughed. “A nipple cripple?”
“You heard me.” I peered around him, trying to see where Toby went. “Anyway, I’ll be going now.”
Daisy found me inside as I continued my search for him. “Have you seen Toby? I swear he was here.”
“He and Quinn left. I’ve been trying to find you.”
I could hardly hear her over the noise but heard enough to grab her hand and head back outside. “They left?”
“Yeah,” she said. “I don’t know why. I told Quinn I’d stay with you a while longer, though.”
Confused, I tucked some hair behind my ear, feeling kind of stupid for getting all dolled up. I’d even shaved. Every-fucking-where.
“You okay?” she asked.
“I think I’ll just head home then. Wanna share a cab?”
She nodded and waited as I called the cab service on the porch, then followed me out front.
I could’ve kicked myself right in the boob for how long it took to click.
“Shit,” I hissed, rubbing my cheek as the cab pulled up.
“What’s wrong?”
I slid into the front seat, giving directions to the townhouse as Daisy climbed into the back. After we arrived a few minutes later, I told Daisy, “Some guy tried to kiss me, and I think Toby saw.”
“Well crap.” She handed the driver a ten-dollar bill. “I’ll take Quinn upstairs.”
At my pinched expression, she shot me an exasperated look. “Oh, don’t even.”
“I didn’t say anything.”
“You didn’t have to.”
We were still laughing as we entered the living room where we found Quinn and Toby sprawled out on the couch, a movie blaring through the room. “I knew it was his dad. I’m not that dumb.”
“But everyone on the planet probably knows that,” Toby said. “So you’re not scoring any points there, dude.”
“Points?” Quinn asked.
“You’re watching Star Trek?” Daisy spoke above the volume, startling them.
They both spun their heads to us, Toby’s eyes giving away nothing except for mild surprise.
“It’s Star Wars, Dais,” Quinn informed her smugly.
“Whatever. Come upstairs.”
Quinn’s eyes widened, then he looked from me to Toby and nodded. “Gotcha.”
Daisy’s laughter was cut off by Quinn’s door closing, and only then did I finally walk over to where Toby was sitting.
“You left.” I sat down right next to him.
A sigh left him, his fingers moving to his brow. “You looked busy.”
“Did I?”
Blue eyes shot to mine, the emotion in them swirling like a raging sea. “What the fuck, Pippa? I’m sorry, but I can only take so much, okay? I told you I’d—”
His words broke off, scattering somewhere in the room as I climbed onto his lap. He stared up at me, disbelief crinkling his features and making my fingers itch to smooth the creases. I let them, but he caught my hand as my finger traced the crease between his brows.
“Pippa.” His voice was hoarse, his throat bobbing as he swallowed. “You can’t kiss some guy and just—”
“I didn’t.”
His hand dropped mine, his head rearing back slightly. “I saw him.”
“You saw him attempting to kiss me. He didn’t get the chance.”
Arms darted out, wrapping around me and crushing my boobs into his face. “Jesus.”
“I got stuck talking to him when I went outside to look for you. He was funny, harmless, but almost got nipple crippled.”
He chuckled, rubbing his face back and forth over my chest. “I thought I was going to kill him, so I left.”
“You should know me better than that by now,” I whispered.
“I know,” he said. “I know, but it occurred to me as I watched you with him that maybe I really wasn’t what you wanted anymore.”
“You are what I want. And what I need is for you to love me loudly again. What I need is all of you. The you who makes my head spin with confusion; the you who laughs at his own thoughts and mumbles in his sleep. The you who speaks his mind. The you who doesn’t stop if he wants something. The you who stole my heart, refused to give it back, and decided to run away with it without warning me. But Toby”—tears filled my throat as he looked up at me—“you can’t leave again. Not unless you take me with you.”
“I promise.” He grabbed my face. “I promise, and I’m so sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry. Be you, just … don’t forget about me.”
“That’d be impossible.” He kissed me roughly, his hands tangling in my hair. Our tongues licked, our teeth scraped, and then he was standing, carrying me out of the room.
We laughed into each other’s mouths when he tripped on the bottom step, his arm flying out to the wall to steady himself before he continued up the stairs.
Dropping me to my feet in his room, he fisted the hem of my dress and tugged it over my head.
“Quinn and Daisy are here,” I panted as he tore my panties down my legs.
He reached for my bra, unclasping it and sending it careening into the wall. “Fuck Quinn and Daisy.” He slammed the door.
I felt lightheaded as he reached behind him to remove his shirt, then unzipped his jeans, pushing them and his briefs over his length and down his legs.
With his arm around my waist, we fell to the bed in a naked heap. Everywhere his skin touched mine, it burned, and I pulled him over me, desperate to keep as much of him touching as much of me as possible.
“You’re crying,” he whispered, kissing my chin.
“I’m so happy, but I’m still scared,” I said, my voice strangled.
His brows furrowed, then he kissed my nose, moving to my cheeks to lick my tears. Near my ear, he whispered, “You know my soul, and I know yours. There’s no coming back from that. There’s no removing you from me. I’ve tried, and it’s futile.”
My back arched as he sucked my earlobe into his mouth, and his hand snuck between us, his fingers parting my slick flesh.
“I love you really doesn’t seem worthy enough to explain how I feel about you,” he said as his bare chest met mine.
Loving him would always be bittersweet, but I knew then that the sweet would always outweigh the bitter.
Sniffing a little, I smiled, wrapping my legs around his waist. “Then show me.”
His answering smile was wicked as he worked himself inside, his forehead dropping to mine as he groaned and stilled. Then he moved. We stared, and we breathed each other’s breaths. And when the flames climbed, melting me into a mush of sensation, he was right there, burning with me.
The stadium was decked out with Christmas wreaths, tinsel, and lights strung up everywhere, even throughout the parking lot.
Grabbing Pippa’s hands, I cupped them in mine and blew a gust of warm breath over them as we waited for the team to get back into position.
We were down by two, but it was far from over yet, and I had that feeling. That feeling that said to wait and watch. They were going to turn this thing around.
“Got any more chips?” Daisy asked from where she sat next to Pippa.
Pippa said no but pulled out a bag of peanuts from her purse. Some days, I swear she was Mary Poppins in a past life with the number of things she could store in that small thing. It never bulged, and it never took her long to dig out what she was looking for.
The whistle blew, and I leaned forward, clasping my hands together between my knees.
Coach caught my eye, held it, and gave me a short nod. I smiled, knowing it was his way of asking how I was doing.
We’d talked briefly since I returned to campus this semester, and I explained in detail about everything that’d happened. I knew I wouldn’t earn my place back on the team, and so did he, but he wanted to know how I was, and I felt I owed it to him and myself to tell him why I’d made such a mess of things.
Daisy squeaked when Quinn went down, and knowing she’d probably be as tense as granite, he shot her a thumbs-up as soon as he was cleared.
“I don’t like sitting this close,” Daisy murmured. “It’s scarier or something. More real.”
I smirked, watching Paul throw in. “Getting the wind knocked out of you by a two-hundred-and-fifty-pound dude is about as real as it gets.”
“Fucking crazy,” Pippa whispered.
My hands clenched as Burnell took the snap and nailed a thirty-yard pass, Grellerson taking it through to the end zone. Then I was up, joining the stadium in an eruption of screams and stomping feet.
“They’re winning now,” Daisy said.
“We’re catching on,” Pippa informed me as I sat back down, smiling as if I was the one who made the winning pass. Pippa’s hand traveled up my back, her fingers sinking into my hair and rubbing. “You okay?” she whispered.
Tearing my eyes away from the game, I grabbed the side of her face and touched my lips to hers for three pounding heartbeats. “More than okay.”
She smiled, pecking me quickly before letting me return my attention to the field.
My sharp exhale clouded in front of me as Callum blitzed through the offensive line but was then taken to the ground, hitting it hard enough to send his helmet flying.
He didn’t get up.
The ref ran onto the field, arms spread and whistle blowing as the game came to a screeching halt.
The on-site paramedics raced toward him, and I turned to Pippa. “Stay with Daisy. I’ll find you.”
I leaped over the rows of chairs, jogging down the steps and hurtling myself over the barrier and onto the field.
The ref and some of the Tomahawks were making everyone stand back, but I pushed my way to the front of the throng in time to see them carefully maneuver him onto the stretcher.
“He’s unconscious?”
“For a little bit,” Quinn said, then Callum cursed, groaning loudly and clutching his arm to his chest. “He’s come to now.”
We cleared the way for them to take him off the field and through the small tunnel that led outside. The whistle blew, and Coach Lawson quickly prepped a freshman to replace Callum.
“Shit.” Quinn put his helmet back on. “You going to the hospital?”
“Yeah. I’ll get the girls and meet you there.”
He nodded, jogging back onto the field and taking position.
Racing back to the other side of the stadium, I found Pippa and Daisy already waiting for me at the sidelines. “Let’s go,” Pippa said.
Daisy looked paler than usual, and Pippa grabbed her hand when I grabbed hers to lead them outside to my car.
“Did it look bad?” Daisy asked as I peeled out of the parking lot.
“He was hugging an arm to his chest and was apparently knocked out for a minute maybe. I don’t know much more than that; they took him away pretty quickly.”
“You guys are nuts,” Pippa said.
My lip curled as I grabbed her hand, holding it in mine until we reached the university hospital.
I turned the car off, Pippa’s hand squeezing mine. Looking over at her concerned face, I gave her as reassuring a smile as I could. “I’m okay, and you can do this too.”