Second Chances

by Lincoln Cole

  Jason kicked the car into motion and they sputtered down the road. They traveled without speaking, listening to the rumble of the engine and wind whistling past their windows.

  Richard glanced in the mirror and saw the kid resting in the back, staring out the window. Ben’s eyes were faraway, lost in thought and memory. Richard didn’t envy his circumstances.

  He would have a tough life, whether or not he decided to better himself. Pulling himself back up after falling so far would not be easy.

  But Richard had confidence in the kid. Maybe Ben could actually make things work. He was lost and scared, and if he really decided he wanted to make things better, he still could. There was a spark in him, and Richard had hope that things might work out.

  Jason pulled into a rundown parking lot outside an old three story building. They were still inside the city limits, but on the outskirts. It looked to be a converted fire house, with two large loading doors in the front.

  A few lights were on in the upstairs windows, but there were no street lamps or external light sources. Both of the bay doors were closed and it looked quiet.

  “Is that jazz?” Richard asked, hearing the faint music spilling from inside.

  “Probably,” Jason said. “The woman who runs this place is a huge Coltrane fan.”

  Jason walked to a wooden door beside the bay doors and knocked gently. After several seconds it was opened. A tall woman stood in the doorway, thin and wearing a sundress. She smiled when she noticed Jason standing there.

  “Jason!” she said, then wrapped him up in a hug, laughing. “Haven’t seen you in forever.”

  “Hey, Vickie,” Jason said, laughing. “Good to see you, too.”

  “Where have you been?”

  “Dealing with some personal problems,” Jason replied.

  “The clinic?” Vickie asked.

  Jason nodded. “Officially losing it tomorrow.”

  She waved her hand in dismissal. “Good riddance, I say. I always liked St. Mary’s Church better anyway. They had better tables.”

  Jason shrugged. “I suppose.”

  “Come on in,” Vickie said, gesturing.

  They followed her into a large room. It was mostly empty with rows of tables in the center and a makeshift kitchen along the left wall. As Richard had expected, large fire poles stood near the back wall of the room, connecting to the upper floors.

  Dozens of forms lay scattered around the fire hall, some sleeping on tables and others on the floor. A few even had makeshift cots made out of old pallets.

  Their clothes were dirty and cheap and layered thicker than the weather dictated. Various stained and rugged backpacks littered the floor and leaned against the walls. The smell of old sweat and burnt beans hung in the air, the latter remnants of a soup dinner.

  Most were asleep but two were still awake, sitting at a table and talking quietly to each other. Vickie went on ahead, leaning in and speaking to the group at the table. Her voice was low, too soft to make out any words.

  “These are friends,” Jason explained to Ben as they walked. “Good people. They can help take care of you for a while. A few used to drink, but they don’t anymore.”

  Ben nodded. The group stood up as they approached and came over to greet them. Jason walked up and shook hands with both of them.

  “Hey Mark. Alex. How are you guys doing?” Jason asked, nodding to the two of them.

  “I’ve been good,” Alex replied, smiling warmly. He had a thick and disheveled beard, but friendly eyes. “What brings you here so late?”

  “Just coming to visit and speak with Vickie,” Jason said. “You missed the meeting.”

  “Couldn’t get a ride,” Alex replied, scratching his beard. “And I’m sorry I missed it. Vic said it was the last. Did you set off fireworks?”

  Jason laughed. “No fireworks.”

  “I would have just burned the place down when I was done. Screw the government,” Mark said, shaking his head.

  Alex laughed. “That might be a little much. So how’d it go?”

  “Really well,” Jason said. “We had a great turnout and a lot of people shared tonight.”

  “That’s good.”

  “Yeah,” Jason said. He gestured toward Richard. “And my brother came too, so it was nice he got to see it before it closed down.”

  Alex nodded. “What are you doing with all of the stuff? Need help moving out?”

  “I don’t think so. Some of it I’m going to hang on to, like the tables and coffee maker, but the rest I’ll probably drop off here. A lot of it wasn’t mine, or isn’t worth taking.”

  “Sounds good,” Alex said. “Just let us know if you need any help.”

  “Will do,” Jason said.

  “This is your brother?” Vickie asked, nodding toward Richard.

  “Yeah. This is Richard,” Jason said. “He’s older than me by a few years.”

  “A pleasure to meet you,” she said, offering her hand to Richard. “You guys kind of look alike.”

  Richard took the offered hand and squeezed it gently, smiling back. “You’re one of the first people to ever say that.”

  “It’s a compliment,” she said. “Jason is one handsome devil.”

  “Ah shucks Vickie,” Jason said, feigning embarrassment. “Hearing a gorgeous creature like you say that makes my toes tingle.”

  She giggled. “Now I’m blushing. Who is the kid?”

  “This is Ben,” Jason said, stepping aside to let him through. Ben shook their offered hands, still quiet and subdued. “Do you guys mind looking after him for a few days? Help him get settled in.”

  “Of course,” Alex said.

  “He’s somewhat new to the area and was living near the clinic, but with it shutting down I wanted to make sure he had somewhere safe to spend a few nights.”

  “It’s no problem,” Vickie said. “We’re well stocked for the next few weeks and I can help him get situated.”

  “Thanks,” Jason said.

  He fished his wallet out and pulled a few bills from inside the fold. He handed the money to Vickie. Richard noticed the wallet was bare by the time he was done. “Take care of yourselves.”

  “You, too, Jason.”

  “I mean it,” Jason said. “Just because the clinic is closed doesn’t mean I won’t be stopping by to check up on you. I’ll be here whenever I get the chance so no relapses, got it?”

  “We’ve got it,” Alex said. “But let us know when you get a new place to host meetings.”

  “Going back to the church?” Vickie asked.

  “I’m not sure if I’ll be able to, but I’ll talk to the pastor tomorrow about it. We’ll figure something out.”

  “We know,” Alex said. “You’ve always been there for us before. We know you’ll still be here tomorrow. This doesn’t change anything, Jason. Chin up. The world keeps spinning.”

  Jason smiled sadly. “Thanks, Alex. Vickie. You guys take care of yourselves.”

  Vickie gave Jason a quick hug and then took Ben by the shoulder. She gently led him further into the room, talking to him about the shelter and the people.

  Richard stood beside his brother with the other two men. He felt entirely out of place in his Armani suit and polished shoes; it made him stick out, different.

  “Looks like a good kid,” Alex said, once the two were out of earshot.

  “He is,” Richard replied. “And he’s way too young to be in a situation like this.”

  The words, Richard realized after he said them, could be seen as an insult to the two men standing in front of him. They didn’t take it as such though.

  “You’ve got that right,” Alex said. “Ain’t an easy life.”

  “I’ll see you around,” Jason said, shaking their hands on more time before leaving.

  “Wait,” Ben said suddenly, turning around and heading back over toward Richard. “Will you…will you really help me?”

  “Sure,” Richard said. “I meant what I said. Call me if you need anything.�
��

  “I want to do right by the child,” Ben said. “By my child.”

  Richard nodded. “And you will. It won’t be easy, but you will.”

  Ben grinned and then lunged forward before Richard could react. He wrapped him in a bear hug, squeezing harder than Richard thought necessary.

  “Thank you.”

  “Anytime,” Richard said, attempting feebly to extricate himself. The kid pushed away after a few moments, sniveling. He nodded again to Richard and Jason and then hurried back to catch up with Vickie.

  Richard glanced at his brother and the other two men. All of them were silent with bemused expressions on their faces.

  He followed Jason out into the night. They climbed into the car and drove off in silence. Richard stared out the window, thinking about the moments in his life that led to this.

  “What time is it?” he asked.

  “Half past ten,” Jason replied.

  “Do you think we have time for one last stop?”

  Chapter 26

  Nichole

  “What do we do now?” Rico asked.

  He was sitting backwards on one of the dining room chairs, straddling it and leaning his arms against the back rest. He wasn’t crying, but his eyes were red and puffy and his voice wasn’t steady.

  “I don’t know,” Nichole said, leaning against the counter. She had been crying since hanging up with Richard earlier and felt empty now, like she was drained of all of her tears.

  The news of her mother’s death was like an open wound, raw and painful. The worst part was that it had been so long, so damned long, since her mother had gone missing and they were just now finding out about it.

  Her anger had ebbed away. Now she just wanted to crawl into a hole and be alone.

  “Should we call that cop back?”

  “Rico…I…”

  “We at least need to know where she was buried, right? So we can go to her grave and leave some flowers.”

  “Flowers? How are flowers going to help?”

  Rico only stared at her. “We need to figure out what the tombstone says, so we can get it changed as well.”

  Nichole sighed. “Yeah. You’re right. I just…Can we wait until tomorrow?”

  “Yeah,” Rico said. “Yeah, we’ll do it tomorrow.”

  As soon as Nichole had gotten ahold of Rico he had dropped everything and come over. They had sat together as a family, trying to explain everything to their younger siblings. Telling Kenni and Tyler that their mother was never coming home was a lot harder than it seemed, however, since they were still trying to figure it out for themselves.

  The only thing they both knew for sure was that they were all still a family. Nichole, Rico, Kenni, and Tyler. Nothing would change that, and no matter how bad things got they would always be there for each other.

  They had just finished putting their siblings to bed a few minutes ago. Tyler was still crying when he fell asleep, too exhausted to stay awake any longer. He understood most of it, but some things still didn’t make sense to him.

  Tomorrow they would all go to school and work and pretend like nothing had happened. The world kept going, ignoring their grief and pain. Nothing had changed, and their obligations were still the same.

  For Kenni, it was a sort of breaking point. She hadn’t spoken a word during their entire family meeting, and as soon as she was allowed to leave she fled to her room. Nichole had heard her crying alone in her room, but didn’t know how to console her.

  “I had no idea,” Rico said, slamming his fist on the table. “I had no idea Mom was even sick. You said she had cancer?”

  “That’s what the officer said,” Nichole replied. “Late stage breast cancer.”

  “Doesn’t that take a long time to happen?” he asked.

  “It probably did,” Nichole said. “She never went to the doctor.”

  “I wish I’d known, so I could have helped,” Rico said. “But I had no clue that anything was wrong. She seemed fine. I mean, you didn’t know something was up, did you?”

  Nichole hesitated. Part of her was trying to reconcile that exact question and find an acceptable answer.

  She’d known something was wrong. Her mother had been in pain or several years, and Nichole had known that it was a lot worse than her mother let on. But, her mother had hidden the pain away, refusing to speak of it or acknowledge it. Nichole had never pressed because she knew her mother didn’t want her to.

  If only she’d pushed a little harder and forced her mother to see a doctor…

  “No,” she said finally. “I didn’t know.”

  And she hadn’t known. Not for sure. Torturing herself over what could have been wouldn’t change anything. Right now, the only thing she could do was look forward and figure out what came next.

  “Do you work tomorrow?” Rico asked.

  “I do,” she said. “I called off tonight, so I’ll see if I can work a double tomorrow.”

  “You won’t need to work extra—”

  “Mom’s gone, Rico,” Nichole interrupted, her voice more harsh than intended. “It isn’t about getting by until she comes home anymore. She’s never coming home, and it’s on us now.”

  “I know, sis.”

  “It isn’t just about survival anymore. We can’t just keep getting by. We need to fix this.”

  Rico sighed. “Yeah.”

  “We still need to get Kenni and Tyler transferred.”

  “Did you ever talk to Richard?”

  “He isn’t going to help,” Nichole said. “And I don’t want his help.”

  “But maybe we can ask—”

  “I don’t,” Nichole said quietly, “want his help.”

  Rico was silent for a moment. “Okay.”

  “We will save up enough money and hire another lawyer, and in a few months we can get Kenni transferred. I’m sure that after…”

  She trailed off, hearing a soft knock at the front door. Rico looked toward the living room and then back at her, curious.

  “Who’s that?”

  “No idea,” Nichole said. “Anita?”

  “She’s in bed. Has to work early tomorrow.”

  “You didn’t tell her?”

  “About Mom? Not yet,” Rico said. “I’ll tell her tomorrow.”

  Another knock.

  “Do you think it’s that cop?” Nichole asked.

  “Maybe,” Rico said with a shrug. “I’ll get it.”

  He headed through the living room, out of sight. Nichole heard the door open and then her brother said something. They spoke quietly, too low for her to make out the words.

  After a minute Rico appeared back in the kitchen.

  “Come on,” he said.

  “Is it that cop?”

  “Just come on,” he said.

  Nichole stood and followed him outside. They walked quietly, not wanting to wake up their exhausted siblings.

  On the porch she saw two men waiting. One was Richard, and the other one she didn’t recognize. He was a skinny guy, dressed like a college professor.

  She narrowed her eyes as Rico led her outside, folding her arms.

  “What?” she asked Rico.

  “He asked if he could talk to you for a minute,” Rico said.

  “You should have said ‘no’.”

  “Sis…”

  “I’m here,” Nichole said, turning to Richard. “What do you want?”

  “To apologize.”

  “Oh well fine then,” Nichole said sarcastically. “Glad we had this talk. We done?”

  Richard ignored her. “I’m sorry for everything that happened with your mother, and my part in the events leading up to and culminating in today.”

  “Very professional apology. We done?”

  “And I wanted to offer you a job.”

  “No thanks.”

  “Sis…” Rico said.

  “What?” Nichole asked Rico angrily. He cringed back from her a little bit. “He wants to offer me a job because he feels bad for me and
it makes him feel bad. White guilt, so he wants to swoop in and save the day. Then he gets to feel good for saving us. You want me to take the handout just so things can get easier?”

  “That’s not it,” Richard said.

  “Then what is it?” Nichole said, turning back toward him. “Why else would you be here? We don’t need handouts.”

  “I’m not offering a handout,” Richard said. “And if you do take this job, it’s going to be the hardest job you’ve ever done. I’m offering it to you because I know you can handle it.”

  “You’re offering it because I’m black and my Mom is dead.”

  “This morning, that might have been true,” Richard said. “But I’m not offering it because you are black or in spite of it. I’m offering it to you, Nichole Blake, because you are a brilliant young woman who is also my friend.”

  “Bullshit, we aren’t friends.”

  “Yes we are,” Richard said. “And I’m sorry that I didn’t remember that this morning.”

  Nichole was angry, but she felt that anger ebbing away. Richard sounded different than when last they spoke. More sincere. Earlier, when she brought up race, he had sounded unsure of himself, unsure in his motives.

  But now he sounded clear and confident in what he was saying.

  “Why?” she asked.

  “Because I trust you and I know I can count on you. I refuse to define you as a black woman, because you are so much more than just those two things. You’re one of the smartest and most loyal people I’ve ever met, and my practice would benefit greatly from having you on staff.”

  “This morning you didn’t want to help me,” Nichole said. “Because it might jeopardize your career. What changed?”

  “Everything,” Richard replied, “and nothing. This morning, I didn’t have a clear grasp of what was important in my life. I didn’t know where I was heading or why I was heading there. I was just going through the motions.”

  “And now?”

  Richard hesitated. “I woke up,” he said. “I’ve been sleepwalking for years, making the right decisions for the wrong reasons. Now, I want to start making those decisions for the right reasons. I want you to come work for me, not as an intern but as an employee. And I want it because you are my friend.”

  Nichole thought about it for a minute. “You are sure?”