Chapter14 - More Girl Talk
Monday morning found Rita and Julie having a leisurely breakfast when their solitude was broken by chirps from the telephone.
"That damn telephone sounds like a sick bird telling the world goodbye," grumbled Julie reaching to pick up the obnoxious instrument.
"Hello! This is Julie."
"Hello yourself," came Nellie's voice over the phone. "Glad to hear you're up and movin'. From the last report I had it sounded like you were standin' in line for an energy transfusion and a skin graft. Rita told me you got tangled up with some guy who had a near lethal case of 'testosterone poisonin'."
"Know what, Nellie? This is a lifetime first to learn good news can travel so fast. Whatever kind of poisons you're talking about doesn't seem to bother Sam, but is sure is taking me time to recover. Rita said you got sacked the other night yourself, old dear. Congratulations!
"You could call it that I guess." Nellie confessed. "What are you two old broads doin' this mornin'? Other than settin' around lyin' about who got it the best. Unless there is somthin' hot goin' down, I'll drop by. If it would happen to cause a problem, just say so. I'm assumin' of course, there are no overnight guests of the male gender layin' around."
"Come on over. It'll be great to see you. Rita and I are just having coffee with a light breakfast. Unfortunately there are no guests fitting your description loitering on the premises this late in the morning to dull our conversation. We'll see you in a few minutes"
"Make it about twenty. I'm still not moving too fast." Nellie added, hanging up her phone.
"I suppose you heard most of our conversation." Julie said, turning to face Rita.
"Ya, I heard. It'll give you two an opportunity to catch up on the details of yours latest trysts." Rita said with a mischievous smile.
"Catch up on our latest trysts!" Blustered Julie. Do I hear a smidgen of envy rolled up in that last accusation? At least we have something to catch up on. Can't say a much for the other fifty-percent of population who live here."
"Sorry about that Julie. I didn't mean to ruffle your feathers so early in the morning. It does sort of cut against the grain, but I have to relent and agree the score is a little lopsided in your and Nellie's favor. It could be said I'm kind of letting the home team down by not having a score on the board yet. At the rate it's going around here, I'll have to frequent a stud service every night for a week to catch up. On the other hand it's doubtful if I could survive the strain since I haven't enjoyed very much practice to maintain my fortitude."
"By damn, Rita. You just never give up. Here I thought you were offering an olive branch as an apology and it turned out being another jab in the back."
By the time Rita and Julie drifted away from jawing at each other over their sexual exploits and were evaluating the pros and cons of changing out of their housecoats, their discussion was settled by the doorbell going off. Julie stood up and walked to the door where she unlocked and swung it open. She was greeted by a well done up Nellie wearing a form-fitting playsuit, accentuating her anatomical assets, sandals and a broad brimmed sun hat. Giving Julie a quick looking over she walked through the door.
"Good morning! Julie. I see you're well on the road to recovery from your night of debauchery. As a mater of fact, I seem to detect a slight Mona Lisa smile peeking though an expression I hadn't noticed before. Whatever this Sam guy packs around must agree with you. I suggest you get all you can while the opportunity presents itself."
Turning to Rita, Nellie continued. "Good morning Rita. I want both of you to especially notice I said, 'Good morning' not Good mornin'. After Rita's and my conversation I decided to give up the hayseed routine and go back to the proper way of speaking."
"I think it's safe to say, both of us welcome you back to the educated world." Rita said.
"Thank you." Nellie replied. "Rita, are you about ready to conjure up a little intrigue after I savor your coffee and finish the interrogation of Julie about this wonder boy, Sam, she snatched from under our very noses.
Some members of our gender are just plain born lucky when it comes to scooping up men. Come to think of it Rita, you have some explaining to do about this Henry character you charmed while Julie and I were out medicating our various verities of hormone sickness."
In the background Julie said, "Think I'll go make myself presentable while Rita is being grilled about her mystery man."
Inviting Nellie to sit at the table, Rita poured her a cup of coffer and freshened her own before sitting down opposite Nellie to relate her experience with Henry. Nellie sat in rapt attention without sampling her coffee while Rita spoke. Finishing her narration, Rita picked up her cup and rewarded herself with a drink of fresh coffee.
Nellie did likewise, letting out a sigh before commenting.
"I must say, Rita, if your experience doesn't take the cake. I've never heard of a man acting so reserved before, especially with all the come-ons you so freely tossed at him, he should have been all over you. If you don't mind, I'll do a little research. Could be there's more to him than floats to the surface."
"Be my guest. I was thinking about asking you to do the very thing you just offered; provided you want to spend the time and effort. I still can't get over how he appeared to enjoy looking at my legs and holding me close while dancing yet remain so blase. Could be, I don't understand a man with honorable intentions. I'm bothered most by him telling me how much he enjoyed the evening and my company and end the evening by giving me a peck on the cheek, climbed back into his car and drove away without so much as, 'don't call me I'll call you', 'see you around' or 'get lost'. For whatever his reasons, he's a real quandary."
"Strange man," Nellie agreed. "Can't say as how I've ever been insulted by a man's lack of attention to my physical goodies. You say his name is John Henry Mills?'
Rita nodded, "yes."
"With a name such as his, it should be easy to track him down. That is, of course, if he's using his real name. You didn't perhaps notice the license plate on his car.?"
"No, the only time I saw an end of his car was when he backed up to turn around and the car's headlights were shinning in my eyes. Sorry." Rita apologized.
"No biggie, for the moment," assured Nellie and shifting to a new subject. "Now we can get on to more feline things. Have you had time to think about Project Buck?"
"Not to any extent. I gather from the sound in your voice you have knocked the concept around a bit."
Nellie nodded and asked. "Have you come up with a starting point or any options to consider?"
The two women were deep in conversation when Julie emerged from her bedroom wearing fresh makeup and dressed in a flattering tan colored pants and shirt combination. She announced her readiness to rejoining the conversation with a question.
"Are you ladies, using the term in its loosest meaning, plotting to crack the gonads of some poor old love-starved cowpoke? Haven't you jilted-girls ever thought how much easier life would be for each of you to just forgive and forget the past, and bask in the present?"
"No!" Was the unison reply from Rita and Nellie.
Rita clarified their coming actions.
"Since you suggested we consider two mind-bending undertakings at the same time, specifically, forgive and forget, I think we're going to execute a combination future exercise which will position us in a more emphatic state of forgiveness and sometime later give us something tangible to forget."
"My gawd, Rita." Julie began. "Sorry, had I known I'd get a reaction filled with such superfluous verbosity I would have never posed such a practical and simple way to solve your problem."
"Huh! Echoed the two other women.
"Gotcha. Didn't I?" Julie said with a satisfied smile. "Nellie, in case you hadn't noticed, having spent a greater part of her life working for the government, Rita caught a near terminal infection endemic to government employees with a pathology causing them to use a least ten multi-syll
able words for each word us common slobs use. I think the aforementioned infection can be boiled down to, job justification and pure unadulterated bovine excrement."
Rita was the first to respond. "You're in rare form this morning, Julie. I'll keep your admonition in mind and do my best to refrain from expounding with such a professorial vocabulary.
"All right you two, enough all ready of this verbal jousting. We're wasting valuable time with this word game chitchat when we could be figuring out how to deal with poor old ego bound Buck. You have the floor Rita."
"Thank you, Nellie. Basically the point Nellie and I have in the making is really quite simple. For once in our lives we want to inflict one of the poor babe's, of the male gender, with how it feels to find himself in a demeaning position similar to what women have occupied since Eve gave up her fig leaf.
We just want to pour out our generosity on this particular man, letting him know women have the capability to give as well as receive. It's our intention to let this prime specimen of machoness savor a rare opportunity of having a rug jerked from beneath his feet by representatives of the ignorant and helpless womanhood he has dumped on for so many years.
It never has nor doubtfully ever will enter his thick muscle bound skull to think women could have the brass ovaries to pull off even a simple business transaction. The idea of women taking him to the cleaners on a business deal in which he intended to make a million is totally out in the ozone.
Anyway, we need something to keep our minds agile and active. There has to be more to life than sitting around a dance floor in some smoky vet's club waiting for one of the darlings, pushing a beer gut and a cigarette-flavored breath, to favor us with a dance.
"I'll second that motion," chimed in Nellie.
Taking a breath Rita continued.
"I would just for once like to see one of the ego-inflated assholes have to face the fact he doesn't have a corner on the market when it come to which sex are given brains. I'll gladly admit there are a few men out there willing to meet us half way. But very damn few."
"My goodness, all that oration without benefit of a soapbox," chided Julie. "You girls are going to either hyperventilate or bust a blood vessel if you get any more hyped up. Better change the subject and cool down for a spell."
"It could be a good idea," replied Rita, pushing back her chair in preparation for standing. "I need to get up and put myself put together so I can think about the practical aspects of our project. I'm sure Nellie wants to hear about Sam. I'll rejoin you before long."
"I guess you're on, Julie, old friend. Nellie invited, as Julie seated herself and began telling her story. When Julie completed a lengthy definitive rendition of her Sam experience, Nellie commented.
"Well good for you Julie. I'm glad to learn one of our trio is having a positive man experience. I've been here in C.J., for several years, well ever since the time we met on the cruise. After the boat parked I bummed around for another six months more or less and settled down here. Since being here most of the men I've met have not been, I repeat, not been of the caliber I want to take on for a lasting relationship. Perhaps I was a bit glib the other night and I may have given you the wrong impression when I said something about being willing to take on a man so long as he didn't stink or slobber. Actually I'm several steps more particular.
I once hoped the cowboy, as you call him, would mellow and lose his high and mighty opinion of himself, but he hasn't and I rather expect he never will. At his age it's hard to wash the shit out of his brain that has caused him to think women were put on earth for his express purpose, to either use their body or their money and preferably both."
Rita completed her dressing and rejoined the group when the phone chirped.
Julie muttered, "That dammed goofy sounding phone," as she moved to answer it. Picking up the headset she listened for a moment before answering.
"Why hello Sam! It's great to hear from you."
Rita reclaimed her place at the table, giving Nellie a wink. "I think it would be safe to assume the ghost of Saturday night has returned to life. I really hope Sam is honest and this romance works out well for Julie.
If he can keep up the pace Julie claims he demonstrated Saturday night, it could cause Julie to lose some extra weight. She would look so much better with fewer pounds, although her extra poundage doesn't appear to slow Sam down. After having the opportunity to get beneath Julie's wrappings, Sam must have decided he didn't want to lose the true inner product."
"I agree," Nellie added. "Julie is a very neat lady with such a nice way about her, not like us two old fire breathers. If Sam causes her any hurt I'll have his carcass hung from a saguaro for the birds to feed on."
"My! My! Rita forcefully remarked. "Remind me to never get your dander up. How well I understand your reasoning about Julie. We harp at each to pass the time without getting emotionally involved. When it comes to some guy hurting Julie, you will have to move fast if you plan on getting at him first."
Replacing the phone, Julie was all ah bubble. "Well, you two insurrection plotters, while sitting around hatching wicked plots to humiliate a fellow soul mate, I have a date with Sam. We're going out to a lake, something or other, and catch a catfish. More than likely we'll catch more sunburn than fish, but what the hell. It's better than sitting around listening to you two boiling your witches brew so you can cast an evil spell on a poor old cowpoke."
"Are we going to sit here and take such guff from the sweet lady we have made a blood pact to avenge?' Nellie asked of Rita.
Making a shocked face, Rita answered, "I'm beginning to wonder about taking her jibes sitting down like we are; but then on the other hand we shouldn't be harsh on the poor girl when she's probably still recovering from phallic shock syndromes she recently suffered. Now she's gnashing at the bit for another injection."
"There is absolutely no doubt about it," huffed Julie. "You two are plain down and out jealous to say nothing of being consumed with envy. Just remember what the Good Book says about coveting. Sure as you two sit there jabbering your evil thoughts, both of you are writing one-way tickets to, I don't even want to think about where." Julie turned and marched off to her bedroom with a smug look on her face.
"Did we get told off or did we get told off?" Rita smiled.
A half-hour later Sam arrived and Julie introduced him to Rita and Nellie. Following a brief conversation, Sam and Julie left for their alleged fishing expedition at the nearby lake.
"Sam presents himself as a pretty nice sort of a guy," remarked Nellie, returning to her chair at the table. Rita went to the kitchen counter, picked up the coffee carafe, refilled their cups and as she was sitting down added, "Sam does look like he has plenty of energy and he doesn't come across as being a windbag. Julie may have winnowed herself a winner out of the local chaff, I hope."
Nellie returned to the subject of Buck. "What do you think about catching Old Buck in a little land squeeze? I have a couple parcels of land laying around we could dangle in front of him plus toss a red herring buyer at him looking for land to build some kind of an exotic business on. I could pull the background strings while you play the part of a woman wanting to buy some cacti land common talk holds as being worthless.
Rita pushed back from the table and took her time looking out the window as she processed Nellie's idea. After a minute or so she turned back to face Nellie.
"Nellie, my friend. I think you may have found the wrench we've been searching for to twist Buck where it will hurt him the worst."
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