Chapter15 - Buck Looks for a Deal
By Monday morning Buck's energy was back to normal and his ego was well on the way to being insufferable after being deflated by the verbal thrashing Nellie gave him Saturday night. Since waking Sunday morning, his mind ran at warp speed in its quest to figure out a logical recourse for dealing with women in general and Nellie Bunmeyer in particular after the tongue-lashing she laid on him. It wasn't all together the things she said which punctured his ego so severely, it was the acid-grade timing and delivery that continued to etch holes in his ego and causing him to examine his way of thinking.
Sitting at his kitchen table on Monday morning having breakfast, some of Nellie's words drifted back through his mind. "Goddamn it!" Buck rambled on out loud. "Why does that broad's bitchin' keep buggin' me? It can't be because I'm soft on her, which I ain't. But I do have to admit she was hell of ah' good piece of tail. That is till she started all that high and mighty woman moralizin' stuff. Can't figure out why she got so damn uppity when I asked her if she owned any land here about. Must be cause I hit a tender nerve or somethin'. Think I'll wander over and talk with Gus at the real estate office; he should know or be able to find out if she owns any land around here. Anyway, it will give me somethin' to do and maybe he'll know about a good land deal or two layin' around waitin' to get picked off.
A half-hour later Buck entered Gus' real estate office. "Mornin', Gus, he greeted walking through the door.
"Morning yourself, you old Fart," answered Gus. "What brings the likes of you around so early on the first day of a new week? I though you was going to be one of those easy-living-sleep-till-noon-retirees since you became rich and didn't have any cows to feed."
"That's a fine way to talk to one of your top money-makin' customers. Remember now, it's my commissions that's helpin' you become a millionaire land dealin' tycoon by doin' nothin' but settin' on your ass movin' a few papers around.' Buck grinned, pulling up a chair and planting his backside.
"You must have something important on your alleged mind causing you to sashay in here and with your first breath begin insulting my way of earning a honest living, else you wouldn't be taking up my valuable time and office space," retorted Gus.
"Since you brought up the subject, as a matter of fact I have. I've been doin' some thinkin' about a thing or two you may be able to help me on, it could possibly lead to us turning a dime or two."
"You may as well go ahead since you interrupted some important thinking I was doing."
"Do you happen to know anything about a woman by the name of Nellie Bunmeyer?"
"So you got acquainted with Nellie, did you? Countered Gus. "Knowing your philosophy and reputation about women, I suspect you got acquainted with her lying down
Yes, I've met Nellie casually but I don't actually know her. I have to attest to the fact she's a right attractive lady with an interesting wild look about her that has caused me, once or twice, to think evil thoughts about her bedroom capabilities. Then I get a second thought, 'at my age a hot five minutes with Nellie followed by a cold drink of water would more than likely finish me off'. So I quickly change my line of thinking. O.K. Buck, how come you're suddenly so interested in Nellie? I suspect by asking me about her it must have something to do with land.
"Why Gus, you old shit. Here I always though you was a true blue family man. Never thought you'd ever size up another woman, let along want to jump in the sack with her. I asked first, but to show my generosity, I'll answer all you questions at the same time.
First off, Nellie not only looks wild, she's wild as a two-year-old stud. And next, she's one hell of woman in bed till she gets to moralizin' about how men think women are brainless and put here on earth only for breedin' purposes. Well, hell! I can agree with all that. Now, if your curiosity is satisfied you can tell me about the land she owns.
Gus shook his head and answered. "Asking such questions about the things Nellie owns makes me think you have evil designs in mind. In answer to your question, Nellie is kind of difficult to explain. She's sort of ghost in the local real estate business. Her name doesn't appear on any deed papers that anyone knows about.
However, and that's a big however. In some circles it's suspected she has a finger on most of the property located in town and a lot of the surrounding area. With that being said, there's not one shred of evidence to prove she owns a square foot of ground. If she does own property, she's never shown her hand.
It's sort of suspected she may be connected to one, or more of about four closed corporations owning most of land here abouts. The corporations are registered in more than one state, and it's anybody's guess about, who or how the corporations are owned, their ownership is a well-guarded secret.
If Nellie is the one behind some of these corporations, she has to be one damned awful smart lady. Someone a lot smarter than the general consensus holds Nellie to be, as judged by the way she talks and lives. If Nellie really is mixed up with some of the land rich corporations, we have to ask a couple of questions, 'where did her money come from?' Now we get to the second question.
'Why does she live and act the way she does if she's so rich?' I thought Nellie may be a pretty smart lady until you came in here offering proof to the fact she must not be very smart if she lowered herself to climb in bed with you."
"What do you mean? Lowering herself to hop in the sack with me! I thought it proved the lady has good taste." Buck smiled.
"So, you're telling, nobody knows for sure if she owns anything or not. She may own the whole damn town or, she may not own so much as a privy?"
"That's about the size of it," confirmed Gus. "If she does own the town, she's one hell of a smart woman. I can't vouch for how smart she is, but with smoke about her drifting around, there must be a little fire someplace. If she owns stock in these land corporations and lives like she does, she may use her lifestyle to discourage gold diggers like you."
Shifting in his chair and grunting Buck stated. "Well hell! That's a fine kettle of fish. I don't know any more now than I did when I walked in here. The only difference amounts to being more confused."
"Join the club, Buck, there's lots of people in the local real estate business who would like to know the answer to the very same question."
"Puttin' the subject of Nellie aside," Buck asked. "Do you have any good land deals layin' around that would turn a few quick dollars?"
Rubbing his chin, Gus answered. "There's getting to be too many snowbirds around, or more rightly called, 'land vultures', hanging around with time on their hands and money in their pockets ready to pick any land cherries that may come along. These land vultures are able to sit around in air-conditioned country clubs listening for something to surface and pick off the good deals without the property being listed. In fact, more than half of the land sales in this county never see the services of a realtor."
"As they say in the movies, 'everybody wants to get in on the act'," Buck growled, pulling himself erect. "Guess that's about all I can bother you about for this time, Gus. If you hear somethin' on either subject, will you give me a ring?"
"Sure enough will," assured Gus. "And by the way, the next time you see Nellie, tell her 'hello' for me will you?"
Walking out of Gus' office, Buck mumbled, "Ya, I'll tell her you're hot for her body and just achin' to lose your marriage virginity with her. See ya later."
A week and a half later, Buck was kicked back in the mid-afternoon enjoying a cold Coors and watching a John Wayne movie on the T.V. when his phone rang. Setting down his beer Buck punched the T.V. remote mute button and reached for the phone.
"Hello, he growled.
"This is Gus," returned the phone reply. "You sound like you just finished a bout with a she-cougar. Get off your dead butt and come on down to office, providing that marble-grinder Ford of yours will make it that far. I may have something of interest for you."
"You sure take liberties talkin' that way to a man of my
position and insultin' my pickup all in the same breath. There must not be any money involved else you would've come to see me in person."
"Come to see a man in your position? in a pig's ass I will, sputtered Gus. "The only position I've ever known you to have is setting or a bar stool or lying on your back. Why I put up with all the ungrateful crap from a stupid old cow kisser like you is more that I can figure out. Especially one who stubbed his toe and fell into a pile of money at my suggestion makes me wonder if I'm out of my gourd for even associating with the likes of you."
"Steady old boy, steady there," soothed Buck. "I understand how rough life is for you settin around coppin commissions from poor old country folks like me. If it wasn't for you havin' a kindhearted ol' buddy such as me around you wouldn't have anyone to dump your frustrations on. Anyone else less charitable would most likely rap you on the noggin with a tire iron. Now calm your ulcers, I'll be down in about thirty minutes. Will that be soon enough?"
It wasn't until Buck quit talking, he became aware Gus had hung up and he was talking to a dead telephone. Thirty-five minutes later Buck parked his pickup at Junction Real Estate and made his way into Gus' office.
"Afternoon, Easy Money,"
Gus responded silently by motioning Buck to a chair. "Sit down, Buck. I'd dislike being responsible for the wear and tear on your fragile body by not offering you a chair. Then on the other hand, you'd probably better think about sitting down easy like, considering where your brains are located. I'd hate for you to bruise anything important."
"Thoughtful words like yours may get you a free beer one of these days," Buck grinned, lowering himself into a chair. "You must have found something with a dollar sign hung on it?"
"Could be! Just could be, Gus said picking up a manila folder lying at the side of his desk. "I've heard it said, 'when it rains it pours'. An east coast contact called me this morning to pass along a tip he thought may be of interest to me. There's an eastern motel chain by the name of U. S. Resorts interested in building a motel complex here in Cactus Junction. The head office is looking to purchase a minimum of one hundred acres for a building site close to an established shopping center. The shopping center must contain at least three major anchor stores.
"Lot of good that does me," Buck grunted. "All my property is a long way from any shopping center and it would cost too much and take a long time to develop a shopping center on my ground."
"As usual Buck, you manage to put your mouth in gear ten steps before turning on your brain. Do you think I'm so dumb as to call you down here just to tell you about a deal unsuitable for your land?
I already told you good things were being poured out and it's not just a local drizzle. Now if you have your brain plugged in I'll continue. After doing some looking around I found there's a one hundred twenty acre parcel lying just north of the Junction Shopping center owned by Land Investment Ltd., with its corporate office in Chicago, Illinois. When I found they own the parcel I sent them a fax asking if the land was for sale and at the same time I faxed U.S. Resorts to find out if they were actually interested in locating a motel here and if so, how much money did they have budgeted to pay for land. I indicated there was a high probability a one hundred twenty acre parcel was available next to a shopping center in the down town area."
"Keep goin'," nodded Buck.
Gus continued, "U.S. Resorts replied to my fax with a 'yes'. They are planning to put an expensive motel complex here. They are willing to pay between fifty and sixty five thousand dollars per acre, depending on how much prep work will be required, how long it will take town hall to move on permits and the usual paperwork. They made no mention about whether they would ask the city for a tax incentive should they decide to locate in C. J. etc. etc.
Which all means, they will probably settle for a price in the fifty-five to fifty-eight thousand per acre per acre range on this parcel. Now for the good part, I received a fax back from Land Investment Ltd. about an hour ago confirming the one hundred twenty acre parcel of land adjoining the shopping center is for sale, provided the buyer also purchases another eighty acres northwest of town as a two-unit package.
They want $6.7 million for the whole kit and caboodle. The complete package pencils out to be about forty-nine point five thousand per acre for the big chunk and around ten thousand per acre for the eighty acres." When Gus concluded, Buck pulled out his pocket calculator and digested the numbers quoted to him.
After three or four minutes, Buck ended the silence. "I've seen most of the land out northwest of here and all I saw was boulders, cactus and mean rattlesnakes. Nobody in his right mind would want that rock pile, to say nothing about payin' ten grand an acre for it. What those clowns are really sayin' is, we have to add the price of the rock pile on to the price of the town land and that comes out to be almost fifty-nine thousand per acre for the good stuff and we're left with the worthless pile of rocks we can give back to the Indians . The way I figure it, we make about seven percent or less profit and that's no great deal, even for a thickheaded old cowpoke like me.
"Ya, Buck. I can run a calculator as well as you; but you haven't heard about the last shower yet. There was an attractive looking lady in here yesterday morning looking to buy some out of town land in northwest area. She told me she wanted to invest some money on the long term and thought that area held good potential for people who want to get out where it's quiet and private.
Remember, the land out there is at a higher elevation than down here in the valley, so it's not so hot during the summer. I never thought much about it before but after giving it second thought the lady may be onto something. She mentioned about wanting to build out there and she knew a few other folks who may be interested in a block purchase. She also indicated ten to fifteen thousand dollars per acre was in her line of thinking, provided water, roads and utilities could be had at a reasonable price. However, she wanted to reserve the right for a third party appraisal."
"Have you called her back since you found out about these two chunks of land? Buck asked, with a hint of urgency in his voice.
"Not yet," Gus replied. "You're the first person I've mentioned it to. I get the feeling you've developed a sudden interest. Is that a hint of greed I detect in your voice?"
'Probably is," Buck allowed.
Gus sort of thought out loud. "If we could work out a three way deal on the deal it would probably raise your level of interest." Again there was a period silence while Buck thought over the possibilities.
When Gus reckoned Buck was through considering the options, he broke the silence.
"Do you want me to sound out the lady and see if she would be interested in a partnership on the northwest parcel? It would reduce the package price by $0.8-million.
Buck leaned back shaking his head. "How in the hell can this investment outfit justify such a high price for the small piece. They want ten grand per acre for that pile of rocks that is no good for anything but rattlesnake pasture, even at a quarter of their asking piece it's still over priced. Somebody must have put the decimal point in the wrong place. You said this woman was wantin' to invest in rock pile property is a pretty neat lookin' package? She must have more looks than brains wanting to buy land in that God forsakin' part of country."
"As a matter of fact, I did mention something about her being attractive. As for brains, I think she stacks up pretty well in that area too. She talked and acted quite knowledgeable about real estate and investments to me. Oh! By the way, she's a tenant of yours at Cactus Gardens. Her name is Rita Blaine.
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