Searching for Mine

by Jennifer Probst

  The engine caught.

  Relief cut through her. He gave her a thumbs-up and walked back to the window. "Keep it running a bit before you start to drive. Where are you headed?"

  "Home."

  Again, that grin appeared. Her heart did a slow flip-flop at the flash of strong, white teeth. Why did he have to be so damn attractive? So...viral? "I know. How long is the drive?"

  "About half an hour."

  "I'll follow you."

  She shook her head. "That's unnecessary. I'll be fine. Thanks so much for your help."

  "I'm following you," he said. "If you want to call your husband or boyfriend and let him know, that's cool. I'm not a killer or anything."

  A garbled laugh escaped her lips. "I'm not worried about that. I've already felt helpless enough watching you start my car in the rain. I can get home by myself."

  "It's still raining and you're keeping me here arguing. What if the battery dies again? I'll worry until I know you're safe at home. Wait for me."

  His command struck her mute. She wasn't used to men wanting to do stuff for her. She'd been on her own long enough to make her own rules and was never questioned. Instead of feeling lonely and bitching about it, Ella had embraced the independence and began to like running her life. This was the first time she'd been overruled.

  He was worried about her. It was kind of nice in an old-fashioned type of way.

  Connor unhooked the cables and got back into his car. She hit her lights, cranked the heat to maximum, and slowly pulled out of the lot.

  The commute home was slow. Cautious drivers took their time and traffic built up, but the headlights behind her stayed steady, giving her a strange type of comfort. She called Luke on her Bluetooth and told him about the delay, and he agreed to start on his homework. Finally, she pulled onto her block by her building and cut the engine. Her escort parked right behind her. Grabbing her purse, she darted out of the car to quickly thank him, but he was already climbing out. The rain had finally slowed to a lazy drizzle.

  "Thanks again for the help. I'm really sorry I took you so far from home."

  He stared at her building and shook his head. "You didn't. In fact, I'm already here."

  "Huh?"

  His gaze narrowed and those stinging blue eyes caught and held hers. The scent of rain and the subtle spice of his cologne rose to her nostrils. His next words seemed to be a premonition of everything in the future that was about to change.

  "I'm your neighbor."

  "Wh-what? I haven't seen you around here. I don't even recognize your truck."

  "My apartment comes with a driveway so I park over there." He jerked his head toward the back of the lot. "I think I saw your son. About nine years old? Glasses?"

  Shock delayed her response. Out of all the people in the world, Connor Dunkle was her neighbor. The air shimmered around her, and the rain turned to a misty, glowing aura. She smothered the emotions running through her, screaming out she never believed in coincidence and there was a bigger reason for such a discovery. "Yes, Luke. He's ten. I-I had no idea. He didn't mention running in to anyone."

  "I interrupted an encounter with some boys. He got pissed at me. Do you want me to introduce myself to your husband? I don't want him thinking I'm some stalker."

  "No need. I'm divorced. What boys?"

  "A group from the neighborhood. I'll keep an eye out. They get in to some trouble, but Luke seems to be able to handle himself."

  She needed to talk to her son. Tell him to keep his distance from troublemakers. God, this is when she missed having his father around. "I better go. Thanks again."

  "Ella?"

  She stilled. It was the first time he used her first name, and it sounded oddly intimate spilling from his lips. "Yes?"

  "If you need anything, just let me know."

  She muttered another thank you and hurried away. She didn't want to think of Connor in any other way than a pain-in-the-butt student. Having him right next door and conversing with her son shifted the balance. She really knew nothing about him on a personal basis. Until she did, Ella better warn her son to keep his distance.

  Damp, tired, and cranky, she pushed her way inside.

  Ella Blake was his neighbor.

  Connor chewed over this fact for a while before deciding it could be a good thing. Hell, if he helped her out a bit, maybe she'd soften and give him a better grade. Being a single mother was tough. After his mother took off and his father checked out, taking care of Nate sapped all his effort and energy. It made more sense why she didn't take more care with her appearance. Men were probably the last thing on her mind. Still, if she ever wanted to find another relationship, she'd need some extra help.

  He let himself into his apartment and wondered what it would be like to be with someone more than a few nights. Nate seemed happy, but then again, he'd always seemed to want a woman on a permanent basis. Connor was content experiencing the whole buffet, and not once had he wanted more. Was there something lacking in him? And if so, maybe it was for the best. If he was built like his mother, he may end up running out on responsibilities, and he'd rather die than hurt someone like that.

  Of course, lately he'd give a monk competition. It had been so long since he'd had sex, his condoms probably had cobwebs on them.

  Shaking his head at his own personal humor, he reheated some leftover pizza, opened up his laptop, and concentrated on work. He'd only been at it about an hour when his phone rang. He glanced at the ID and hesitated. Then picked it up.

  "Hey, Jerry. What's up?"

  The slight slur of words told him his best friend was on his way to feeling really good. "Connor, my man! Where the hell you been? Fancy college boy now and can't come out and have a few beers?"

  A flare of guilt hit. When was the last time he'd seen him? Weeks. They'd been really tight working construction for a number of years and had each other's backs. Until Connor had begun wanting more. More than getting drunk every weekend. More than seducing some new woman into bed. More than blaming management for all their trouble on sites and pretending they were better than anyone else because they got their hands dirty.

  The fun had begun to turn bitter. Especially when he'd made the decision to get his degree and apply for a management position.

  Connor forced a laugh. "I've missed you, dude. Been dying to get out and share a pint, but I'm slammed with schoolwork."

  "Didn't think you'd try and become one of them. What happened to you, man? Those books get to your brain and make you think you're something you're not?"

  The words cut deep, but he kept his tone easy. "Nah, I just got a few more months and this will all be behind me. Keep my chair warm, okay?"

  "Fuck the classes, man. Come and have a drink with me. There's a pretty young blonde serving me that's dying to meet you."

  Half of him wanted to go. It would be so easy because it was the routine he'd followed for the majority of his life. He'd get a good buzz, bed the blonde, and be happy for a few hours.

  The problem was the next morning when reality hit. When the blonde left and he had a sick stomach, lighter pockets, and the faint tang of failure in his gut. Not this time. Not anymore.

  "I'll catch you next time, dude."

  Jerry cursed. Then hung up.

  Connor clicked off and rubbed his forehead. He felt like a traitor. Jerry and him went way back, and his friend was old school. He believed in working hard on the site and partying harder when he was done. Unfortunately, times were changing and management wanted more from their crew as things became more technological and architecturally modern. They wanted team members to grow with them, not just show up to put in time.

  Connor wanted one thing: secure the lead foreman job for Bilkins Construction. He'd been lucky enough to be included on the subcontractor team for the huge project with Tappan Zee Construction, which was building the new bridge over the Hudson River, but he needed more. It was the only reason he'd spent the last two years breaking his ass to stuff four years of sch
ool into two and still make an impression at the firm. Bilkins only hired college graduates for upper management. Connor was determined to transform himself into a businessman who could straddle both worlds--the one on a working site and the one behind a fancy desk.

  Finally, his efforts were working. The higher-ups noticed him and respected his work ethic and his leadership role with the crew. He'd changed his life radically to become the man he'd always wanted to be but never thought he'd deserve.

  Was he betraying his friend by wanting more out of his life? An emptiness clawed up from deep within him he'd never experienced before. He wasn't sure how to feed it, so he concentrated on the only thing he could control right now.

  Graduate. Get a promotion. Make more of a difference. Then maybe, the hunger would go away.

  He sat at his desk for a while, then got back to work.

  Chapter Six

  "I don't know if I should care for a man who made life easy; I should want someone who made it interesting."--Edith Wharton

  "Mom? I'm bored."

  Ella slipped off her glasses and rubbed her tired eyes. Glancing at the clock, she noted it was already past five p.m., and darkness had slipped over to blanket her most precious Saturday. Not that she'd done anything great. Food shopping, cleaning, a few rounds of the Wii with her son, and then grading papers.

  Now, Luke stood in front of her desk with puppy dog eyes and a young boy's leashed excess energy. Winter sucked. Sports were nonexistent, the holidays were over, and he was already bored with his new video games and stuff from Christmas. She kept waiting for him to invite some friends over, but he hadn't seemed to make any connections yet. A few times, she spotted a small bunch of boys out front talking to Luke while he waited for the bus. She didn't want to ruin anything by being his pushy, overbearing mother, so Ella kept quiet and hoped he'd make his own way.

  She gave him a smile and ticked down the list of available items to entertain a ten-year-old. "Wanna see what's playing at the movies?"

  "Nah. They just have lame stuff for kids."

  "You are a kid," she teased. Her fingers itched to ruffle his cowlick but he was becoming a bit more standoffish with her treating him like a baby. "You too old now for Disney?"

  He rolled his eyes. "Can we go to GameStop?"

  She raised a brow. He gave a defeated sigh.

  "Wanna bake cookies? I have some leftover holiday ingredients. You can try to bake the biggest cookie in the world."

  He seemed to consider the option, though it was obvious he wondered if it was too babyish. She upped the ante. "Then we can walk to the Chinese restaurant and get soup and eggrolls. We'll eat backward. Dessert first, then dinner."

  "You still have the sprinkles and green M&M's?"

  "I do. But you better be prepared. I'm going to win the cookie challenge. We each get a tray and no peeking until we're done. Deal?"

  "Deal!"

  She cleaned up her work and headed to the kitchen. Though their apartment wasn't huge with a big yard and fancy furniture, Ella had made it home. Using her knack for brightening up rooms with accessories and a fresh coat of paint, the two bedrooms were cozy and peaceful. The kitchen was big enough so she purchased a mobile island and topped it with mesh baskets full of bright fruit and dried herbs. Pictures crowded the walls with her favorite sayings from poets, and she'd upgraded the low utility light to a pretty Tuscan chandelier that brought pop to the room. The farm table and benches were set by the big window to get the most light. Hand towels beautifully stitched hung by the stove and dishwasher.

  She tuned to one of her playlists on her iPhone and cranked the volume. Queen ground out Another One Bites the Dust and she slipped out two cookie sheets while Luke pulled all the ingredients out of the cupboards. They belted out the lyrics in perfect tune and began kneading dough into cool shapes in an attempt to dazzle the other.

  Contentment flowed through her veins as she relaxed into her typical Saturday night. She pushed back her hair with sticky fingers and rainbow sprinkles flew up in the air, getting stuck in her sweater.

  The lights went out.

  Everything ground to a stop except the music, which kept blaring loud. She reached over and turned off the music, switching quickly to the flashlight app.

  "Mom?"

  "Don't panic, sweetheart. Probably just a brownout or something. Let me get some extra flashlights just in case."

  "This is kind of creepy."

  She felt around in the dark for her famous junk drawer that contained so many weird parts she probably could've built a nuclear bomb. "It's a nighttime adventure. Remember when I used to take you on those walks when you were little?"

  "The moon had to be full, you always said. Even though I worried about werewolves."

  "I told you they don't exist."

  "But you're afraid of vampires."

  "Well, I think they do exist. That's why I keep tons of garlic around at all times. I read Dracula three times, you know."

  That got her son to laugh, and Ella finally found another flashlight. She was just going to brave going into the basement to check the circuit breaker when the doorbell rang.

  Her heart pounded. She didn't know anyone to drop by on them, and she'd heard of strange things happening during brownouts. Swallowing, she eased over to the window and peeked through.

  Connor Dunkle stood on her doorstep.

  With a rush of relief, she flung open the door and held back a gasp.

  My God, he looked good.

  Struck mute for a moment, she gave in to impulse and hungrily took him in. Dressed in a button down navy blue shirt that clung to his broad chest, a casual jacket, and dark-washed jeans, he simmered with delicious masculine testosterone. Usually a hint of stubble clung to his square jaw, but tonight he was clean-shaven and smelled of spicy cloves. His thick dirty blond hair fell in waves over his forehead, brushing his ears, and those sea blue eyes framed with thick lashes struck her mute for a few seconds. He towered over her in a mass of rock-hard muscle, giving her the impression of both strength and protectiveness.

  He was a walking, talking specimen of everything a woman dreams of in a man. Both Hemsworth brothers mixed with Daniel Craig and a sprinkle of old-fashioned Redford. Her poor body roared into overdrive and she felt a damp rush of moisture between her thighs.

  God, she was acting like a sex-starved teen. So. Embarrassing.

  Finally, he spoke. Even his damn voice was gravel and satin mixed together in a symphony to the ears. "I saw your lights went out. Looks like some of the other houses on the block are affected. You okay?"

  He was checking on her? To be nice or to get her to agree to extra credit? "Yes, we're fine. Thank you."

  "Did you flip the breaker? Sometimes these apartments get overloaded and you need to reset it. That's what I had to do with mine."

  "I haven't gone down to the basement yet."

  "I'll help you out."

  "Oh, you don't have to."

  His gaze sharpened on her face, and his jaw clenched. Fascinated, she studied his features, noticing the air of irritation that briefly shone. "I want to, Ella. I won't stay. I just don't like the idea of you and Luke alone in the dark."

  She flushed and stumbled back. "I didn't mean to be rude. I'm just used to doing things for myself. I'm sorry, come in."

  He walked inside and she realized it was a mistake.

  In her home, he owned the small space, filling the air with a masculine presence she wanted to sink in and savor. It had been so long since she had a man close. Even though he was only here to check her electricity. Oh, my God, she was so pathetic. He glanced around in the dark and took out his own phone, turning on the flashlight app.

  Luke came out of the kitchen, highlighted in the sudden glare of light. "Mom? What's going on?"

  "It's Connor Dunkle from next door," he said. "How's it going, Luke?"

  Her son's voice hardened. "Fine."

  "Good. I'm going to check the basement and see if I can get those lights on. I
s that okay?"

  Connor didn't move, as if waiting for permission from her son as the man in the house. Luke seemed to consider his words, standing up straighter in the beam of light. "Yeah, that's okay." He paused. "Can I help?"

  "Absolutely. I could use a hand. Basement here?" He motioned down the hall toward the door on the left. Ella nodded. "Same as mine. We'll yell if we need you."

  They disappeared downstairs, and she tried to re-gather her composure. Why was she nervous? So silly. He was just being a friendly neighbor and helping out a single mom. Clatters rang in the air. Probably moving all the storage stuff to get to the panel. She really needed to organize better down there. Ella waited, keeping her light trained down the hall, and suddenly the electricity flickered back on.

  She heard Luke's whoop and smiled. She forgot the simple things that gave children pride. He really didn't have the advantage of tinkering with tools or cars or talking sports, though she tried to keep her knowledge up to date and be both mom and dad.

  They both reappeared with pleased expressions. Connor was talking to her son. "Next time, check the breaker first. Now you know which one since we tagged it."

  "Got it," Luke said seriously.

  "Hey, you guys were making cookies? Looks like fun."

  She glanced at the mess in the kitchen and wrapped her arms across her chest. "We know how to rock a Saturday night. Thanks for helping out."

  "No problem. Oh, man, I love M&M's!" His face lit up like a kid, and Ella laughed. "Can I have one?"

  "You can't eat just one," Luke said. "Here." He gave him a handful. "I like the greens."

  "Blue is better."

  "They taste the same," Ella pointed out.

  They both stared at her in disbelief. Connor rolled his eyes. "Women."

  Luke grinned. "Mom, I need to check my DS. I had it charging and I don't want to lose my stuff."

  "Sure, go ahead."

  He bounded up the stairs, leaving them alone in a messy kitchen. Ella looked at Connor's perfect appearance and tried not to wince at the thought of her image. Dough in her hair, mismatched socks on her feet, and yoga pants. "Umm, thanks again," she offered.

  "No problem. Been a long time since someone baked me cookies. Sounds like a perfect night."

  She looked at him with suspicion. Was he making fun of her? "They're easy now. Precut dough, one sheet, and an oven. Not too mysterious anymore."