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Correlated

Page 10

by Shaun Gallagher

Pessimists

  28% of people would be willing to have all memories from the past year wiped out in exchange for $500,000.

  But among pessimists, 44% would be willing to have all memories from the past year wiped out in exchange for $500,000.

  ----------------

  56% of people show their teeth when they smile for photos.

  But among pessimists, only 42% show their teeth when they smile for photos.

  ----------------

  20% of people have never been bitten by an animal.

  But among pessimists, 33% have never been bitten by an animal.

  DOUBLE PLAY

  You’re extremely likely to be a pessimist if you both:

  think children age you

  think the song title “Sometimes Love Just Ain’t Enough” more closely represents your view than “All You Need Is Love”

  NO CORRELATION

  Pessimists are almost exactly as likely as the average person to:

  be interested in visiting the Salt and Pepper Shaker Museum in Gatlinburg, Tennessee

  want to take a martial arts class

  prefer scooped ice cream over soft serve

  Pet Allergies

  18% of people have food allergies.

  But among those who are allergic to pet dander, 36% have food allergies.

  ----------------

  27% of people think it should be legal for two siblings to marry if they intend to not have children.

  But among those who are allergic to pet dander, only 13% think it should be legal for two siblings to marry if they intend to not have children.

  ----------------

  43% of people occasionally use Craigslist.

  But among those who are allergic to pet dander, 57% occasionally use Craigslist.

  DOUBLE PLAY

  You’re extremely likely to be allergic to pet dander if you both:

  regularly use ChapStick or other lip balm

  prefer to be photographed from your left side

  NO CORRELATION

  People who are allergic to pet dander are almost exactly as likely as the average person to:

  say they’d rather listen to the audiobook than read the book

  eat their chocolate bunnies butt-first

  know how to make origami

  Philadelphia

  59% of people like sea scallops.

  But among those who would rather visit Philly for its cheesesteaks than for the Liberty Bell, 71% like sea scallops.

  ----------------

  47% of people prefer a cologne/perfume that evokes autumn rather than spring.

  But among those who would rather visit Philly for its cheesesteaks than for the Liberty Bell, 58% prefer a cologne/perfume that evokes autumn.

  ----------------

  53% of people like punk rock.

  But among those who would rather visit Philly for its cheesesteaks rather than for the Liberty Bell, 63% like punk rock.

  DOUBLE PLAY

  You’re extremely likely to prefer visiting Philly for its cheesesteaks rather than for the Liberty Bell if you both:

  think turducken sounds delicious

  don’t have any parents or grandparents who are immigrants

  NO CORRELATION

  People who would rather visit Philly for its cheesesteaks than for the Liberty Bell are almost exactly as likely as the average person to:

  wear glasses or contacts

  prefer to dry their hands with an air dryer, rather than paper towels, in a public restroom

  prefer Mylar balloons

  Piano Players

  59% of people say they are better educated than their parents.

  But among piano players, only 43% are better educated than their parents.

  ----------------

  43% of people consider themselves to be artistic.

  But among piano players, 57% consider themselves to be artistic.

  ----------------

  60% of people prefer a combination lock for their locker rather than a lock with a key.

  But among piano players, 72% prefer a combination lock for their locker.

  DOUBLE PLAY

  You’re extremely likely to play the piano if you both:

  have read the Chronicles of Narnia

  don’t have a crown on any of your teeth

  NO CORRELATION

  Piano players are almost exactly as likely as the average person to:

  think it’s OK to date your boss

  regularly wear cologne/perfume

  be left-handed

  Pie vs. Cake

  39% of people make a lot of impulse purchases.

  But among those who prefer pie over cake, only 27% make a lot of impulse purchases.

  ----------------

  52% of people have read at least one gospel from the Bible all the way through.

  But among those who prefer pie over cake, 62% have read at least one gospel from the Bible all the way through.

  ----------------

  69% of people like to grill.

  But among those who prefer pie over cake, 78% like to grill.

  DOUBLE PLAY

  You’re extremely likely to prefer pie over cake if you both:

  had a great first kiss

  doodle infrequently

  NO CORRELATION

  People who prefer pie over cake are almost exactly as likely as the average person to:

  not have been a bed wetter

  hate A Christmas Story

  chew on their pens or pencils

  Poetry

  58% of people have eaten in a diner at 4 a.m.

  But among those who prefer poetry that doesn’t rhyme, 81% have eaten in a diner at 4 a.m.

  ----------------

  43% of people consider themselves to be artistic.

  But among those who prefer poetry that doesn’t rhyme, 56% consider themselves to be artistic.

  ----------------

  40% of people think Joe Biden is more likely than the Obama girls to one day end up on a reality show.

  But among those who prefer poetry that doesn’t rhyme, 53% think Joe Biden is more likely than the Obama girls to one day end up on a reality show.

  DOUBLE PLAY

  You’re extremely likely to prefer poetry that doesn’t rhyme if you both:

  have read one of William Faulkner’s works

  prefer jam to jelly

  NO CORRELATION

  People who prefer poetry that doesn’t rhyme are almost exactly as likely as the average person to:

  not like to be alone when they’re sick

  be unable to tell the difference between Coke and Pepsi

  prefer sausage over bacon on breakfast sandwiches

  Poets

  59% of people own thrift-store clothing.

  But among those who write poetry, 73% own thrift-store clothing.

  ----------------

  19% of people would rather be blind than deaf.

  But among those who write poetry, 32% would rather be blind than deaf.

  ----------------

  45% of people are homeowners.

  But among those who write poetry, only 32% are homeowners.

  DOUBLE PLAY

  You’re extremely likely to be a poet if you both:

  meditate

  had a great first kiss

  NO CORRELATION

  People who write poetry are almost exactly as likely as the average person to:

  want a waterbed

  know the difference between amps, volts, and ohms

  like meat loaf dinners

  Private School

  39% of people say their mother was 30 or over when t
hey were born.

  But among those who attended private school, 54% say their mother was 30 or over when they were born.

  ----------------

  38% of people would agree to staff a kissing booth to raise funds for their favorite charity.

  But among those who attended private school, 52% would agree to staff a kissing booth to raise funds for their favorite charity.

  ----------------

  36% of people think that a person should disclose that they are a widow/widower in their online dating profile.

  But among those who attended private school, 50% think that a person should disclose that they are a widow/widower in their online dating profile.

  DOUBLE PLAY

  You’re extremely likely to have attended private school if you both:

  don’t know how to use a sewing machine

  are the first result in a Google search of your name

  NO CORRELATION

  People who attended private school are almost exactly as likely as the average person to:

  have an uncommon first name

  prefer compact umbrellas over full-size

  be fast talkers

  Privilege vs. Ambition

  59% of people oppose capital punishment.

  But among those who think privilege influences success more than ambition, 73% oppose capital punishment.

  ----------------

  74% of people can’t pop a wheelie.

  But among those who think privilege influences success more than ambition, 87% can’t pop a wheelie.

  ----------------

  28% of people say they’re pessimists.

  But among those who think privilege influences success more than ambition, 38% say they’re pessimists.

  DOUBLE PLAY

  You’re extremely likely to think privilege influences success more than ambition if you both:

  supported Barack Obama’s reelection bid

  believe that churches and other places of worship should not be tax exempt

  NO CORRELATION

  People who think privilege influences success more than ambition are almost exactly as likely as the average person to:

  prefer an aisle seat on a plane

  pull the tabs off their soda cans

  prefer peanut M&M’s over plain M&M’s

  Professional Wrestling

  47% of people say acquaintances would describe them as soft spoken.

  But among those who like professional wrestling, only 27% say acquaintances would describe them as soft spoken.

  ----------------

  50% of people would want to visit the Salt and Pepper Shaker Museum in Gatlinburg, Tennessee.

  But among those who like professional wrestling, 66% would want to visit the Salt and Pepper Shaker Museum in Gatlinburg, Tennessee.

  ----------------

  66% of people prefer raw carrots over cooked.

  But among those who like professional wrestling, 77% prefer raw carrots over cooked.

  DOUBLE PLAY

  You’re extremely likely to enjoy professional wrestling if you both:

  prefer that the open end of your pillowcase face the inside of the bed

  would eat a tasty-looking burger made from flesh cloned from your own body

  NO CORRELATION

  People who like professional wrestling are almost exactly as likely as the average person to:

  say they’d rather be a landscape photographer than a portrait photographer

  prefer The Simpsons to South Park

  prefer to shower in the morning

  Public Speaking

  38% of people describe themselves as passive-aggressive.

  But among those who fear public speaking, 52% describe themselves as passive-aggressive.

  ----------------

  66% of people are better guessers than pantomimers when playing charades.

  But among those who fear public speaking, 78% are better guessers than pantomimers when playing charades.

  ----------------

  52% of people have read at least one gospel from the Bible all the way through.

  But among those who fear public speaking, 62% have read at least one gospel from the Bible all the way through.

  DOUBLE PLAY

  You’re extremely likely to fear public speaking if you both:

  say acquaintances would describe you as soft spoken

  are not a college graduate

  NO CORRELATION

  People who fear public speaking are almost exactly as likely as the average person to:

  prefer being called a nerd than a geek

  say that male pattern baldness runs in the family

  think the drinking age should be higher than the voting age

  Restaurants and Bars

  73% of people think the best way to respond to the Westboro Baptist Church’s provocations is to ignore them, rather than counterprotest.

  But among those who have worked in restaurants and bars, only 60% think the best way to respond to the Westboro Baptist Church’s provocations is to ignore them, rather than counterprotest.

  ----------------

  81% of people have used a manual typewriter.

  But among those who have worked in restaurants and bars, 93% have used a manual typewriter.

  ----------------

  39% of people think they would recognize the Dalai Lama, even if he walked past them in jeans and a Lakers jersey.

  But among those who have worked in restaurants and bars, 50% think they would recognize the Dalai Lama, even if he walked past them in jeans and a Lakers jersey.

  DOUBLE PLAY

  You’re extremely likely to have worked in restaurants or bars if you both:

  have been cheated on

  are a fan of actor Daniel Day-Lewis

  NO CORRELATION

  People who have worked in restaurants and bars are almost exactly as likely as the average person to:

  rather act than direct

  get nosebleeds

  prefer bacon over sausage on breakfast sandwiches

  Roller Coasters

  50% of people say they’re up for skydiving.

  But among those who don’t like roller coasters, only 23% are up for skydiving.

  ----------------

  62% of people prefer sandals to flip-flops.

  But among those who don’t like roller coasters, 75% prefer sandals to flip-flops.

  ----------------

  52% of people thought that it made sense when Pluto was demoted to dwarf planet status.

  But among those who don’t like roller coasters, 63% thought that it made sense when Pluto was demoted to dwarf planet status.

  DOUBLE PLAY

  You’re extremely likely to dislike roller coasters if you both:

  don’t ski

  wash new clothes before they wear them

  NO CORRELATION

  People who don’t like roller coasters are almost exactly as likely as the average person to:

  prefer to be the O in tic-tac-toe

  like mayonnaise

  be confused by modern art

  Rolling Rs

  50% of people don’t like the smell of suntan lotion.

  But among those who can’t roll their Rs, 61% don’t like the smell of suntan lotion.

  ----------------

  54% of people know what their Myers-Briggs personality type is.

  But among those who can’t roll their Rs, 65% know what their Myers-Briggs personality type is.

  ----------------

  26% of people don’t tap their foot to the music.

  But among those who can’t roll their Rs, 36% don’t tap their foot to the music.

&nb
sp; DOUBLE PLAY

  You’re extremely likely to be unable to roll your Rs if you both:

  are a better guesser than a pantomimer when playing charades

  like detective fiction

  NO CORRELATION

  People who can’t roll their Rs are almost exactly as likely as the average person to:

  prefer flavored water

  bite their nails

  think it’d be fun to have an identical twin

  Sandwiches

  49% of people had a great first kiss.

  But among those who prefer their sandwiches cut into rectangles, 61% had a great first kiss.

  ----------------

  60% of people say they could never be in a relationship with a smoker.

  But among those who prefer their sandwiches cut into rectangles, 70% say they could never be in a relationship with a smoker.

  ----------------

  24% of people like warm milk.

 

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