The New Beginnings Coffee Club

by Samantha Tonge

  Zak and I used to look at stars when we first dated. I’d pontificate about possible alien life. Zak wondered if NASA would ever design a rocket that took passengers to Mars. I sighed and turned out the lights and lay down, kicking away the sheets. Up in the loft it was always warm.

  Despite being alone, I put my hands over my eyes again and allowed myself to sob for a few moments. A pure pity party. Poor me. It wasn’t fair. No one had it as hard. Then I sniffed. Swallowed. Told myself to get a grip. Kind of felt better and settled down to sleep. However, my ears pricked at a thudding noise and then a voice said, ‘Jenny, let’s not go to bed on an argument. Can I come in? There’s something I want to say.’

  I shuffled up, leaning against my pillow. Bog off, was my first reaction. But then Noah had made the effort to climb the steep staircase with one dodgy ankle. Perhaps it was important.

  ‘Whatever,’ I said, still in sulky teenage mode. The door opened. Through the darkness I saw his strong silhouette. I wiped my eyes. ‘What do you want? I’m tired.’

  He came in and sat on the edge of the bed. He took my hands. ‘Sorry,’ he said, his voice breaking. ‘Don’t go, Jenny. Both me and Elle agree, you and April have made this place into more than just a place to live.’ His shoulders hunched and he stared down at our fingers. ‘Lately it’s really felt like a home.’

  A lump rose in my throat.

  ‘What’s the matter, Noah?’ I asked softly. ‘You can tell me. How can I help? You’ve been up and down ever since you hurt yourself.’ He raised his head and my heart raced as I met those tawny eyes that looked like liquid chocolate in the darkness. I stared at those soft lips and my mouth longed to meet his. Warm spots spurted up through my abdomen and down every limb as his thumbs caressed my palms.

  ‘Today is two weeks before my birthday. I was born a fortnight late. My due date was really important to my mum. She’d tried for years to have a child.’ He swallowed. ‘So she always used to send me a birthday card on the twenty-fourth as well as on the actual day.’

  ‘Used to? Oh Noah, I’m sorry. Is she –’

  ‘Dead? No, but may as well be. She and Dad haven’t spoken to me for almost three years. I was hoping …’ his voice broke again ‘… that maybe this year things would be different. But nothing. That means they won’t acknowledge my actual birthday in a couple of weeks either.’

  ‘What happened?’

  He shrugged. Even with the glow of moonlight coming through the loft’s window, his eyes looked dull. ‘We fell out. My fault. I don’t blame them. But I thought … hoped they’d forgive me.’ He inhaled. ‘Sorry. I shouldn’t be dumping all this on you. It’s just the jogging is good therapy for any discontented feelings.’ He smiled. ‘I’ll be fine once this ankle is working again.’

  My heart pounded. I wanted to ask about their argument but he hadn’t offered the information and I didn’t want to push. Maybe this was why he went to that church every Monday evening. Perhaps it gave him some sort of spiritual peace. I smiled back and then somehow – I don’t know who moved first – our lips touched. Our mouths quickly melted into one. His kissing became more urgent as he ran a hand through my hair. His lips moved to my neck and I gasped. Instinctively, I pulled out his tucked-in shirt and both my hands swept up his chest across smooth skin.

  As we parted to catch our breath, his masculine scent hit me and he groaned as my fingers moved downwards and undid his trouser buttons. Gently he pushed me back and I lay on the bed. I wriggled as he eased my pyjama top over my head.

  ‘Oh God, Jenny. You’re beautiful,’ he murmured as my hands undid his last button. I ran my fingers down his torso and Noah moaned as his eyes swept over my body. Then he kissed me, and kissed me some more, so tenderly, taking his time, taking moments to pull back and look into my eyes. Time stopped. And seemed to last for ever. Me sinking into a pleasurable abyss.

  ‘You’re so hot,’ he said huskily, eventually moving his hand down to my shorts.

  My back arched and stars blinked in front of my eyelids as a climax built at my core.

  ‘I need us together, in the closest way possible. I can’t wait a minute longer,’ I said in between gasps.

  He pulled back again, just for a second. ‘Jenny, are you sure? It’s not been that long since you and Zak …’

  ‘It’s been long enough,’ I said, gently. ‘I know that now.’

  He kissed the corner of my mouth. ‘What about precautions,’ he murmured.

  ‘It’s okay. I’m on the pill …’

  I took hold of his hair and firmly pulled him close. Noah easily removed my shorts and my hands grasped his waist. Oh, the relief as two became one. Our hips moved perfectly together like eager dance partners who’d spent too long watching each other across a room. Then I entered the deepest ever pleasure zone, my vision filled with more stars of passion, my head too dizzy for my eyes to spot constellations …

  Chapter Nineteen

  I woke up and peeled my eyes open and – thanks to Mr Pinot Grigio – swallowed with a parched throat. I lay still. No one else breathed near me. My stomach scrunched and I ran a hand through my tousled hair. Noah had done a disappearing act. I felt like a teenager. Did he enjoy last night or was I a disappointment? It wasn’t like I’d had much experience, beyond my cheating husband.

  ‘Jenny? You awake? It’s almost eight o clock.’

  I pushed myself up and turned around. Noah sat on the stool at the dressing table, already dressed in tight-fitting jeans and a snug white T-shirt. I gazed at those strong forearms and remembered how they had held me close last night, after … A tray lay on top of my bedside table with cereal, toast, and juice. We smiled at each other.

  ‘Everything okay?’ I asked, cheeks feeling hot. Did he regret last night? See it as a mistake? Or …? I swallowed, not wanting to complicate things but asking myself where we went from here. ‘How did you manage to make breakfast, what with your foot hurting if you put weight on it?’

  ‘It’s a lot better today,’ he said. ‘It’s almost as if something happened during the night that healed it instantly. I went for a gentle run this morning and it was fine. I’ve just got a slight limp.’

  ‘Wonder what could have helped it feel better,’ I said, innocently.

  His eyes crinkled. ‘And how are you?’ he said. ‘Headache?’

  ‘No. Just a little dehydrated.’ I sat up straighter. He came over, took my hand, and sat down.

  ‘What happened last night … It was … was …’

  ‘Just passable, like my jogging?’ I bit my lip.

  His eyes twinkled. ‘Well, now you come to mention it –’

  ‘Don’t you dare!’

  I squeezed his fingers. He squeezed mine back and I looked deep into those tawny eyes. There was a degree of vulnerability I never used to notice, back in the day when I’d visit his café with Chanelle and he’d greet us with a cheery hello. I squeezed his fingers again.

  ‘What?’ he said gently.

  ‘I don’t want to hurt you,’ I mumbled. ‘What if this is a rebound thing?’

  ‘Whatever the label, I’ll take it,’ he said and kissed me on the lips. But then he pulled back, eyes crinkling less at the corners. ‘There’s no hurry, Jenny. No deadline for us to get together. Is this all going too fast?’

  ‘Yes. No. I don’t know. Sorry, Noah. I don’t mean to mess you about but I’ve been married so long and am still getting my head around all this and there’s April to think about, plus –’

  He raised the palm of his hand.

  ‘You don’t have to explain yourself. I’m not going anywhere. I’ll be here for as long as it takes. And if your final destination isn’t by my side, I’ll deal with it. Don’t worry about me.’

  So, friends again.

  I mean, it was only one night, right? Best to end it before I got in too deep, until I was sure, put it on hold, at least … Except that even though the Sunday trade was as busy as ever, I still found images from
last night distracting me. Not the obvious ones, like how sated I’d felt – exhausted with every nerve ending fizzing like a firework’s fuse. No, things like how he’d stroked my hair until I fell asleep. How he’d asked me afterwards if I was okay. If I was chilly. Did I want him to find my discarded pyjamas? How, at some point, I’d turned and snuggled into his chest and he’d slid one of his hands into one of mine, locking our fingers together tight.

  However, as the afternoon drew to an end and we finally closed the door to the outside world, concern for Elle began to occupy my mind. She was due back around six o’clock. Noah and I sat in the garden discussing how to break the news that her secret was out.

  ‘I can hear some noise in the kitchen,’ I said as we sat in deck chairs on the patio, sipping coffee. ‘So, we don’t really have a plan. We just have to tell her …’

  ‘The truth,’ said Noah.

  I sighed. ‘Yes. Positives first though. Like Steph’s reaction.’

  We both sat more upright as the back door opened and Elle came out carrying a blue bag.

  ‘Buttercup made sure there was a present waiting in the litter tray for me, on my arrival.’ She pulled a face and took the full nappy sack over to the dustbin.

  I stood up and gave her a hug. ‘We missed you! Me especially. You should have heard Noah moaning about his sprained ankle all yesterday.’

  Elle smiled, went over to Noah and playfully patted his shoulder, before sitting down. She glanced at me. ‘I hope he wasn’t too much of a grouch without being able to exercise.’

  ‘Don’t ask,’ I muttered and she shot us both a sympathetic glance. Noah caught my eye and we smiled at each other. Would Elle guess what had happened between us? ‘So, how were your mum and dad?’

  She gave the thumbs-up. ‘We went on a hike. It was great. Took a packed lunch. I must get out walking more. I’ve let it slip lately and got really out of breath.’

  ‘It’s nice that you get on so well with your parents,’ I said and could have kicked myself as a brief cloud of emotion flickered across Noah’s face.

  ‘Yes. I know I’m lucky. Mum, bless her … She loved my hair and bought me a really frilly, floral scarf, more suited to someone twice my age. She seems to think that because I’ve changed my body to that of a woman, I only want to wear ultra-feminine clothes.’ She smiled. ‘Not that I’m complaining. She’s been really sweet.’

  ‘And your dad?’

  ‘Great too, in his own way. Asked if I’d thought of taking up a martial art. He’s worried that one day I’m going to get beaten up. I really must get them over to Laventon, so that they can see you’re more likely to be killed by kindness here, than mean hearts.’ She smoothed down her skirt. ‘The weird thing is, now I’ve been on the hormone therapy for so long, I can’t imagine getting into a physical fight with anyone.’ She leant over to Noah, took his hand, and placed it against her cheek. He rubbed it up and down and nodded.

  ‘It’s much softer,’ said Elle to me. ‘We noticed a few months ago. Noah said it looked kind of different. Anyway, hopefully I won’t need any karate kicks in little old Laventon.’

  I batted a wasp away from my mug and exchanged glances with Noah.

  ‘Look, Elle, the thing is …’ he said and cleared his throat. ‘Whilst you were away …’

  Elle gazed at us both. ‘It’s okay,’ she said quietly. ‘I know.’

  I rolled my lips together.

  ‘My secret is out. I found out whilst at my parents’. I think that’s why Dad started talking about martial arts.’ Her eyes shone. ‘He’s just taken on a new team of young builders; said he could send them around to sort out – to quote him – “any dumb-headed arses”. I didn’t like to point out that those new employees might have issues against me of their own.’ Elle clasped her hands together. ‘Men are the worst. They feel so threatened. It’s as if me questioning my supposed masculinity makes them concerned about theirs.’

  ‘How did you find out?’ said Noah, eyes wide with concern. ‘About everyone knowing?’

  ‘Postie.’

  Noah and I looked at each other, brows furrowed.

  ‘You know I manage the newsletter and any emails we get from customers?’

  Noah nodded.

  ‘He contacted me this morning, apologising for his stupidity. I emailed back for him to ring me – had no idea what he was talking about.’ Elle fiddled with her bracelet. ‘I saw the carnations in the kitchen, heard that an indignant Louise brought them around.’

  ‘What changed Postie’s mind?’ I asked. ‘His view seemed pretty entrenched.’

  ‘Not really. It hasn’t stemmed from a long-term prejudice but more from a recent bad experience with his online dating.’

  ‘He dated a transwoman?’ said Noah and drained his cup.

  Elle nodded. ‘She never told him. They got on well but when the physical side got heavier … she hadn’t had all the surgery yet. From what I can gather, it completely freaked Postie out to find man bits on what he thought was an attractive female.’

  ‘Gosh, it must have been a shock,’ I said.

  ‘Yes. That’s an understatement. He left her house as quick as he could.’

  ‘But there was no need for him to take out his bad experience on you,’ said Noah.

  ‘Knee-jerk reaction probably.’ Elle shrugged. ‘I admire him for speaking to me on the phone. And then he told me that I was the subject of village gossip.’ She held her head in her hands and then looked up. ‘How did the news spread?’

  ‘April. She overheard us talking on Wednesday night. Because we were laughing she didn’t think it was a big secret. I’m so sorry, Elle.’

  ‘Guess it was bound to come out sooner or later.’

  ‘The big surprise is Steph. She’s offered you a free blow-dry any time you want,’ said Noah.

  Elle’s face cracked into a smile.

  ‘And Mr Oshiro wishes you well. The coffee shop might be busier than usual next week, though,’ I added.

  ‘Some things don’t change over the centuries, do they?’ she said. ‘I’ll be like an oddity in one of those old-fashioned circus shows.’

  ‘Yeah, well anyone who steps out of line will get short shrift from me,’ said Noah and frowned. ‘How did your appointment go, by the way?’

  ‘Good, thanks. Nothing much to report.’

  The doorbell went and she stood up. ‘I’ll get it. Guess I’d better face the locals sooner rather than later.’ She took a deep breath and then disappeared into the cottage.

  ‘She’s amazing,’ I mumbled. ‘So strong, taking it all in her stride.’

  ‘She doesn’t have much choice, if she wants to put roots down anywhere,’ said Noah. ‘We both thought moving to a small village would help as get away from our problems – give us both a sense of anonymity. But in a way, as an individual, you are more visible here.’

  IndyVidual, I thought for a second, and excitement fluttered in my stomach at the prospect of running my own design company.

  I gave a wry chuckle. ‘Yes. I didn’t need to tell a single local about me and Zak splitting up. Mind you, it does have its advantages. Remember when that little girl went missing a few months ago? Within an hour of it happening the whole village was out looking and found her and –’ Footsteps came running around the side of the cottage.

  ‘April!’ I stood up and gave her a hug.

  ‘Mummy!’ She hugged me back tightly. ‘Daddy said, if it was okay with you, I could bike around to Tom’s. I want to tell him all about my weekend. It was brill! I made a new friend and me and Daddy didn’t even clean our teeth this morning.’ She gave a wicked grin.

  ‘Slow down!’ I laughed. ‘And when am I going to hear all about it?’

  ‘Me too!’ said Noah and ruffled her hair. ‘I want to know how many custard creams the pigs ate.’

  ‘The whole packet!’ She giggled. ‘They made the funniest noise whilst scoffing them. Happy, snuffly sounds. And we slept out
in the open last night, in our sleeping bags. We saw aeroplanes and satty … satty …’

  ‘Satellites?’ I said.

  She nodded. ‘Yes.’ She took my hands. ‘Please, Mummy, can I bike around to Tom’s? I’ve had tea. We stopped at a burger bar on the way home.’

  ‘Go on then, you scamp! But I expect to hear every detail later.’

  She grabbed her bike, which was leaning against the wall underneath the kitchen window. Within seconds she was gone.

  ‘At least April had a great weekend,’ I said, ‘and –’ I looked at Noah. What was that shouting and crash? It came from inside. We got to our feet and rushed inside the kitchen and through to the lounge.

  ‘Elle!’ I rushed forward. She lay on the laminate floor, half sitting up, blood running from the corner of her mouth. A broken lampshade lay by her side. So much for Laventon being the safest place on earth.

  ‘What the hell are you doing!’ cried Noah and lunged forward at Zak. Noah grabbed him by the collar. Despite being taller, Zak couldn’t break free from his tight hold.

  ‘Get off me, you moron!’ shouted Zak. ‘I didn’t do anything. Just pushed him. He lost his balance and fell onto that coffee table.’

  ‘He is a she,’ spat Noah.

  ‘If you were a father, you’d understand.’ Zak scowled. ‘I won’t have that … that person near my daughter.’

  I pulled Noah away from him. ‘Leave it,’ I hissed. ‘Let me deal with Zak. You look after Elle.’ Tears filled my eyes as I turned to look at my friend. Dazed, she sat, a bruise already forming on her chin.

  Fists curled, I glared at Zak. ‘Since when do you push anyone? I know you’ve developed a temper over recent months, like the time you smashed that wine glass after a bad day at work. But this? Physical violence against a woman?’

  He adjusted his collar and rubbed his neck. ‘Woman? I don’t think so. And whatever he is, he hugged April when we got back. I’m not having it! I told you. Move out of here or see me in court.’