MR. BROWN
V. Franklin
RACHEL was a good girl. She was smart and pretty and very good. And she knew that because Daddy told her.
Then he had to go far away. To a place where he was supposed to go. So he could protect Rachel and Mommy. But he said he loved them very much, and he would come back as soon as he could.
That was a long time ago. And then Mommy cried a lot. And she said that Daddy wasn’t going to come home after all. Not ever.
Mommy would cry every day after that. And then a new, Other Daddy came to live with them. The New Other Daddy said he was friends with Daddy before. At the place where they had to go to protect Rachel and Mommy. But then Daddy got hurt by some bad people, and he couldn’t come home ever again.
The New Other Daddy got hurt too. But not as bad. Then he started to be friends with Mommy. Then Mommy and the New Other Daddy said they loved each other. So he moved in.
Rachel was sad that she had to sleep in her own bed now. Because now the New Other Daddy man slept in Mommy’s bed. But now Mommy didn’t cry anymore. So Rachel decided she could sleep in her own bed if it made Mommy not be sad.
The New Daddy was the one who gave himself that name. Except for the New part. He said Rachel should call him Daddy. And she wasn’t supposed to say New, or Other.
But he wasn’t Daddy. Daddy was somebody else. Daddy wasn’t ever going to come back from that place where the bad people hurt him. But that didn’t mean somebody else could be Daddy. Rachel already had one.
He got mad when she called him Other New Daddy, even though that could have been a way where they could both be right. And he got mad when she called him Gary. Even though that’s what Mommy called him. And he never got mad when Mommy said it.
***
A long, long time ago, before Daddy had to go away, he said to Rachel, “Thumper? Come here for a minute. I need to talk to you about something.”
He sometimes called her Thumper. And she liked it. The New Other Daddy Gary never called her Thumper. And she was glad about that. New Other Daddy Gary rarely called her anything except Rachel. Except when he talked to Mommy. Then he sometimes called her “Your Kid”. He called her other things, but only sometimes. Usually, just Rachel.
“Come on, Thumps. Come here.”
Then she put down the wooden blocks that had been about to form a house, and toddled over to the big chair where Daddy was sitting. He picked her up and swung her onto his lap, putting a wet and noisy kiss on her forehead in the process. “Here’s my girl. My good good sweet girl.” He brushed the hair from the side of her face. “Can you be very very good for your Daddy?”
She nodded. A sober gesture appropriate to the gravity of her father’s tone. “Yes.”
“I might have to go away for a little while. Because there’s some bad people. And I need to go and make sure they don’t hurt anybody.” Rachel nodded again. Displaying that deep comprehension of the naive. “So while I’m gone, I need you to be very good for your Mommy. Okay?”
“Okay.”
“And I’ll come back as soon as I can. Okay?”
“Okay.”
“You know I love you very much. Don’t you?”
“Yes.”
He squeezed her then. One of those tight Daddy hugs that would almost hurt if it was any tighter, but that was just right. “There’s somebody I want you to meet.” He shifted, grunted, and reached under the chair. When his hand reappeared, it was clutching a large and fuzzy lump that turned out to be a stuffed bear.
“A teddy bear?!” She hadn't meant to sound indignant. She was just surprised.
“He's not just a teddy bear. This is Mr. Brown. And he's a real bear.” Rachel frowned. “It's just that he had some bad luck with a witch. She cast a spell on him. Made him look like this. So, while I’m gone, you shouldn’t get too lonely, because you’ll have Mommy to take care of you. And if Mommy’s ever too busy to talk to, you can always talk to Mr. Brown. Okay?”
“Okay.”
She looked at the bear. Two blind eyes stared from a furry head topped by a pair of deaf ears. It wasn’t really okay. Nothing about this was okay. Daddy was going away and this golem of artificial hair was supposed to take his place? But he was so earnest, so worried. Without really understanding the situation, Rachel heard the somber in her father’s words.
“Mr. Brown can watch out for you two until I get back. Okay?”
“Okay.”
Then Daddy sat on the chair while Rachel sat on his lap and Mr. Brown sat on hers. They sat wordless and still, ignoring the muted program on TV. They sat and they felt safe and together. And for the right now, that had to be enough.
***
Gary, the New Daddy who wasn’t really Daddy at all, was nice at first. He kissed Mommy a lot. Which made her smile. And that made Rachel happy because Mommy was sad for so long before that.
And he said they could go and have ice cream. And it was fun when they did that. Rachel usually got the strawberry. Or something else. Just as long as it was pink.
Mommy would always say that she didn’t want anything. Then Gary would tease her until she finally said she would have some ice cream too. Then she would touch the end of Gary’s nose with her ice cream.
Gary would make a “Rawrrr!” sound and grab at Mommy while she squealed and giggled. Then they would kiss, and Mommy had ice cream on her nose too.
Rachel liked getting the ice cream. And Mommy looked like she was happy. Almost as happy as the times before Daddy had to go away. But then the trips for ice cream were less frequent. Until they just didn’t happen anymore.
When Rachel asked if they could go out to get some ice cream, Mommy would tell her “No. Not today, sweetheart.” Mommy never called her Thumper either.
New Daddy Not Daddy Gary would usually just say “No” when asked if today would be a better time to go and have ice cream than yesterday. Sometimes he said something mean. Then he and Mommy would start yelling at each other.
That was one of those times Rachel would go into her room and close the door. She was careful to be quiet when she closed the door. Because Mommy and Gary didn’t like loud noises. And it made them get mad if the door slammed. Then she would play and be quiet, until Mommy came in and said it was time for bed or dinner or lunch.
It was hard to play with the toys she had. They were all old. And most of them were broken. Or the paint was rubbed off. Some of them were for babies. And Rachel wasn’t a baby.
She had pretended to have an ice cream parlor. With Mr. Brown as one of the customers. Bundled socks for ice cream cones. The bed as a counter full of great, cardboard buckets of sweet cold behind frosty glass.
That worked until the time Gary saw and asked “What the hell are you supposed to be doing?” Then he got mad when she told him. And he and Mommy yelled at each other again. Except then Rachel couldn’t even go in her room and close the door, because they were already there.
But now if they ever asked, she would just say it was the aquarium. With Mr. Brown and Bun Bun and Terrance and Kitty as a bunch of seals, patiently waiting for their pretend sock fish.
She was also learning better than to ask about the ice cream again. At least in front of Gary. She still sometimes asked Mommy, who would look sad and say “No, Sweetheart. Not today.” Maybe it was the ice cream that made Mommy happy. Because she was sad again now that they didn’t get any more.
They could have shared the pretend stuff at Rachel’s pretend ice cream parlor. Except Gary might find out and be mad again. And then there would be more yelling. But in the secret quiet at the end of her bed, Rachel served bundled socks to a line of furry customers.
“Hello, Mr. Brown. What would you like today?”
Mr. Brown spoke in a deep, gruff, bear voice. “Do you have any honey ice cream?”
“We almost ran out. But I saved some because I knew you would come in.”
“Then I want some honey ice cream… Bears like honey, you know.”
“Yes
. Here you go.”
“Hmmn. Do you have any berries?”
“Let me see…” She ducked to peer under her tiny bed, then stood and said “Here are some berries.”
“Bears like berries too.”
“Yes. I know… That will be two dollars.”
“Mmmnn.” He paid with two imaginary dollars and plodded off to the side where he enjoyed his ice cream as only a bear can.
Bun Bun hopped up to the counter and ordered a banana split. That was also two dollars. Then he went and sat down next to Mr. Brown.
Mommy and Daddy had told Rachel that Gramma was the one who gave her Bun Bun when she was just a baby. But then Gramma got so sick that she had to go away forever. Bun Bun spent most of his time hiding behind the pillow on Rachel’s bed. Or sometimes he hid under the bed. But when the ice cream parlor was open, he would sneak out for a banana split.
Next in line was Terrance. He rushed to the counter and ordered a coffee ice cream. Terrance always hurried. That’s because he was a turtle. And he didn’t like that everybody thought he would be slow, just because he was a turtle.
Daddy had explained it. Before he had to go away. He presented Rachel with a set of green limbs, head, and tail that protruded from between two glossy domes. “This is Terrance. And he hurries around really fast. You know why?”
“Why?”
“Because people see him and they think he can’t be fast, without even getting to know him. And that’s pretty silly. Isn’t it?”
“Uh-huh.”
“So Terrance is going to live with us. To remind us that we should never let somebody tell us that we can’t be something… Okay?”
“Okay.”
Kitty was the last one in line. She stood in front of the counter for a long time. She looked at all the pretend flavors, one after the other. Then she looked at all of them again.
“Meow. Can I have a tester of the chocolate?”
“Here you go.” Rachel gave her a tester of the chocolate.
“Meow. Can I have a tester of the strawberry?”
“Here you go.” Rachel gave her a tester of the strawberry.
After a while, Kitty had tested all the flavors. Still, she stood and considered her selection.
Mommy had brought Kitty home one day and given her to Rachel. This was after she asked for a cat, a kitten. Mommy made a sad face and said this probably wasn’t a very good time to get a cat. Because cats are messy and expensive to keep and Gary didn’t like cats. So when Rachel asked for a kitten, Mommy brought home Kitty.
Gary made a face about that too. But he didn’t say anything. The face he made was almost mad. Like he had to eat something he didn’t like.
Still, Kitty was as close to a real cat as could be there. At least until Gary said it would be okay.
And now she stood at the ice cream counter, trying to decide on a flavor. “Meow. Do you have any fish ice cream?”
“No. But do you want me to make some?”
“Meow. Yes, please.”
Rachel stooped and rummaged with blocks and a rattle until she had finished the special order. Fish ice cream. Then she stood and passed the bundled sock to Kitty. “Here you go. Two dollars.”
“Meow. Thank you.” said Kitty. And she went to find a seat beside Terrance.
Rachel had just finished with giving everybody ice cream when Mr. Brown got up from his seat and walked up to the counter. The honey ice cream and berries were all gone. But he was still hungry. And he wanted to know if there was any salmon in that fish ice cream.
***
A puppy. A real puppy. The roly-poly creature squirmed almost out of Gary’s arms until he finally just put it down. Then it trundled back-and-forth on the floor. Rushing between people and things. Then between other people and things. Then back again.
“His name’s Tyson.” Gary told them.
“A dog?” Mommy seemed confused. Maybe a little bit mad.
“Isn’t this something we should have talked about first?”
“What’s to talk about? We need a dog.”
“We don’t need a dog. What are you talking about?”
“Protection. Guard the house.”
Rachel wasn’t sure what to think. She was excited to see a puppy in the house. But they shouldn’t need any more protection. Isn’t that why Daddy and Gary had to go away where those bad people were? Why Daddy wouldn’t ever come back? Why Gary Not Daddy lived with them now? For protection?
Mommy and Gary were getting mad at each other again. Their voices crept louder and louder. Rachel knew this would go the way it always had. They would yell at each other until Mommy went into her bedroom and cried. Then Gary would watch TV and drink beer until he ran out of beer. Then he would leave and either be gone for a long time, or come back with more beer for watching TV.
Rachel tried to be invisible as she moved back to her room and closed the door. Quiet. No loud noises.
***
“Will there be ice cream?” Mr. Brown asked her. His voice was extra gruff because he had just woken up from a nap.
“No.” Rachel did her best to keep a sad face, which was hard to do when she was with the bear. “Not today, Sweetheart.”
“Oh.” Mr. Brown was about to go back to sleep when she told him “Maybe we can go for a drive.”
They used to go for drives. Rachel and Mommy and Daddy. In the days before he had to go away. The three of them would get in the car and just go. Not anywhere on purpose.
Sometimes they sang songs. Sometimes they played games like First One To Find A Red Car. Sometimes Mommy and Daddy would talk about things, and Rachel would talk about it too. And they never rolled their eyes and told her to “just shut it.”
Sometimes they did get ice cream when they went for a drive. Sometimes they stopped for pizza or hamburgers, or went to a park. Once they even went to a movie.
Daddy said that it wasn’t really on purpose. “We’re here with nothing else going on and the movie we want to see is about to start. Come on, Thumper!”
Bun Bun hadn’t wanted to go for the drive. He was scared of a lot of things. So he just wanted to keep hiding behind the pillow. But then Rachel told him that they were going to be using the bed to be their car. So Bun Bun didn’t even have to move from his hiding place.
Mr. Brown sat up front. Next to Rachel. In the places where Mommy and Daddy used to sit.
Kitty and Terrance sat in the back seat with Rachel’s shoes for their car seats. They hadn’t wanted to sit like that. But she told them they had to use car seats until they were big enough for seatbelts.
Bun Bun stayed in the back of the car bed. As usual, he was safely nestled behind Rachel’s pillow.
Mr. Brown offered to drive. But Rachel said she could drive, as long as he talked to her instead of reading a magazine.
“Mommy and Gary are mad at each other again”
“I know,” the bear said. “Because of the dog.”
“He’s just a puppy.”
“Meow. He’s a puppy now. But he’ll grow up to be a dog.” Kitty voiced her concern from the back seat.
“A dog?!” Bun Bun peered from his pillow burrow. “I’m afraid!”
“Oh don’t worry about it.” Terrance twisted around to face the rabbit. “We can just run away.”
“Bird!” Mr. Brown called out. “I saw a bird first! I win!”
“Oh Mr. Brown.” Rachel patted his shoulder, then put her hand back on the pretend steering wheel. “We’re playing First One To Find A Yellow Bus. Terrance already saw a bird.”
“It’s because I’m hungry,” said Mr. Brown. “If bears don’t get enough honey, they start to forget things.”
They drove in silence for a while until Rachel said, “I still miss Daddy. I wish he didn’t have to go away.”
“I know,” Mr. Brown told her. “Me too.”
“Meow. Me too.”
“Me too.”
“Me too.”
A trio of voices sounded from the back, echoing
those feelings of the two in the front seat.
Rachel asked, “Do you think he misses me back?”
“I know he does.” Mr. Brown tried to look smart and confident. Which is a hard thing for a stuffed bear to do.
“How do you know?” She almost drove the car onto the bedroom rug. “Do you talk to him?!”
“No. I can’t talk to him either. Because he had to go away… I just know.”
There was another quiet until she said, “I wish Daddy still lived here. Instead of Gary.”
“Me too.”
“Meow. Me too.”
“Me too.”
“Me too.”
It was a long drive. Kitty sang the song about counting green frogs. Terrance suggested they should drive faster, but Rachel said they weren’t allowed to go faster than the speed limit. Mr. Brown tried to tell everybody a story about a hungry giant. But then he said he forgot the ending because he needed to eat some honey. Then Rachel said that they were driving past a movie theater.
This was a special theater with an ice cream parlor right there. They even had honey ice cream. And fish.
So everybody got some ice cream. And then they went in to see the movie.
The car-bed turned into a stage where the movie was about Bear and Kitty trying to build a house out of blocks. But Terrence kept running into everything and knocking the walls down.
Bun Bun would sometimes look out from his burrow and tell everybody to “Stop all that racket out there!” And then he would hide before anybody could see who it was.
The movie was coming up to an exciting part when Mommy came in and said she had a bad headache. So Rachel should be quiet.
Everybody agreed it had been a lovely drive. Up until the part with the headache. Then everybody went to sleep. Except for Rachel and Mr. Brown. They stayed up late and talked about things until they fell asleep too.
Simple Things Page 30