Lost Cause

by J. R. Ayers

  She met him by the front door of the hospital and they embraced and he kissed her softly and gently touched her swollen belly. “My, it sure is big,” he said with amazement.

  “Almost four months. I’ve missed you so, Jack.”

  “You know I’ve missed you too. Is there somewhere we can go that’s a little more private?”

  “My quarters, I suppose. I’ve been rooming with Nurse Mason. It’s not far, just down the thoroughfare yonder.”

  They adjourned to the little inn where the nurses and other hospital workers lived courtesy of the Confederate army. Nurse Mason had a room on the first floor that opened to a little terrace overlooking Chacon Creek. They sat on a bench underneath a trellis of dried honeysuckle and Jack held her close and she wept for a while. Finally she looked in his eyes and said, “When will we be married?”

  “Any time after I get back from Brownsville.”

  “But, you’re here now.”

  “For a week only. Don’t you want to have a fancy wedding with everyone we know attending?”

  “You’re not worried?”

  “Why should I be worried?”

  “Because I’m pregnant, Jack. People know it. They also know I’m not married. That makes me a—”

  “It makes you my fiancé, that’s what it makes you. And I could give a damn what people think.”

  “Of course you don’t,” she said hotly. “You’re not the one with a sullied reputation. How am I to make you a good wife when I already have a bad reputation?”

  “With who? Who says you have a bad reputation?”

  “Oh, Jack, everyone. Not with their words, but their eyes transmit their thoughts and feelings. The hospital administrator asked me to wear larger clothing so I don’t show so much. In another month I’ll be asked to stop working altogether.”

  “Good. I don’t want you working anyway.”

  “What about money?”

  “I’m a sergeant now, Marie. I will see to your needs.” She seemed dubious. And worried.

  “The doctor said I should avoid taking on too much weight,” she said. “Apparently I have a narrow pelvis and he’s concerned about a possible difficult delivery.”

  “What else did he say?” asked Jack.

  “Nothing. I’m in good health. A bit malnourished maybe, but that’s because of the morning sickness and the poor hospital food.”

  “Then you must eat better food.”

  “Yes, I suppose. Marry me, Jack, marry me tomorrow. Let’s get married so our child will be legitimate.”

  “Of course I’ll marry you, I love you.”

  “Tomorrow?”

  “No, today. Let’s go find that priest and have him read the vows.”

  “But, we’ll need witnesses.”

  “Carl can be one. And Nurse Mason.”

  “Campbell’s here?”

  “Yes. He rode up with me. For protection. I suppose he’s visiting a local cantina right about now.”

  “Really? He was very nice to me when you left. Certainly we can have him in the wedding ceremony. Have you told him you want to get married?”

  “Only a thousand times.”

  She grew quiet for a time fidgeting with the hem of her shawl.

  “What’s wrong, Marie?” asked Jack. “Tell me, what’s on your mind?”

  “I’m big with child now and I’m afraid you won’t want me when I’m all swollen with lank hair and fat ankles.”

  “You seem to know a lot about it,” Jack said frowning.

  “I have a sister, and aunts. I’ve seen my share of pregnant women. And they all looked the same. Fat.”

  “Come on, Marie, you know how crazy I am about you. I don’t care about fat ankles and such.”

  “So you’ll have me the way I am? And the way I’m going to be?”

  “Just the way you are. And, yes the way you’re going to be also.”

  “Good. Let’s do it then. Let’s get married right away.”

  Jack rented a room in the inn paying for a full week signing the register as Sergeant and Mrs. Jack Saylor. Marie finished her shift at the hospital and told Nurse Mason she would be staying with Jack for a few days. Nurse Mason was thrilled to hear about the impending wedding and said she would be happy to stand in as maid of honor.

  After a supper of boiled pork and sweet potatoes in a quaint little eatery near the camp, Jack and Marie returned to their room and went straight to bed. Jack was hesitant to make love to her fearing he might injure the child in her womb. “She’s just a tiny thing,” Marie said drawing him close to her. “You won’t hurt her. Just be careful that’s all.”

  “Her, huh?”

  “Of course.” Her name will be Madeline, after my mother.”

  “What if it’s a boy?”

  “Then I shall be sad. But I will love him just the same.”

  Later, they both lay awake watching the moon shine in through the window. Can’t you sleep?” she asked.

  “No. I’m just thinking.”

  “About what?”

  “I was remembering how crazy I thought you were when I first met you. Do you remember that?”

  “You’re the one who’s crazy.”

  “How so?”

  “You’re marrying me, the crazy girl. That makes you just a little crazy too, now doesn’t it?”

  “I don’t think like that way anymore,” Jack said.

  “Good, because we can’t afford to be crazy. We have a little one to think about now.”

  “Yes ma’am.”

  “I wonder what I should wear. Oh my, I have nothing to wear!”

  “Then we shall find you something,” Jack said taking her hand. “First thing in the morning, we’ll go shopping.”

  “But, the money. . .”

  “I’ve sat around in Brownsville for four months with nothing to spend my pay on except home brew beer and corn tortillas. Don’t worry wife to be, I have enough money to see to it that you have a grand wedding day.”

  Marie drifted off to sleep happy to know that she would be Jack’s wife in a few hours, but finding sleep was much harder for Jack. He lay awake for hours thinking about the future and what it be like to be a husband and father. He finally managed to convince himself that it would be a wonderful thing, although a flicker of doubt plagued his thoughts as he drifted off to sleep.

  It was not yet daylight when Jack went to find the priest to ask him to say the marriage vows. He said he would be happy to and Jack went to find Campbell at the mess tent and asked him to be his best man and he said he would be happy to then Jack went to get Marie who was waiting by the door to the inn purse in hand. Shops were limited, with only a general mercantile store and a dress emporium and seamstress shop on the west side of town to choose from. Marie found a dress she liked right away and tried it on for Jack’s approval. It was a little snug in the waist and the bustle was a bit higher than she liked but all in all it was quite a lovely dress. It was made of light blue chiffon with lace accents at the collar and the edge of the sleeves. A white pill box hat with a lace veil and a clutch purse made of white corduroy added a touch of elegance to the blended ensemble.

  The ceremony took place at precisely nine a.m. in the little church next to the camp. Campbell, dressed in his cleanest shirt, stood with Jack as his best man and Nurse Charlotte Mason stood with Marie as her bride’s maid. There was no one to walk her down the aisle, so Jack took her arm and escorted her to the front of the alter where the priest waited dressed in his finest vestments.

  The vows were simple: “do you Jack Saylor take Marie Collins Hayes to be your lawfully wedded wife, forsaking all others?”

  Jack said, “I do,” and then Marie repeated the vows adding,

  “Till death do us part.”

  “I don’t have a ring,” Jack said. “But this means a great deal to me, so I would like for you to have it back.” He removed the Saint Christopher medallion from his pocket and placed it around her neck.

  “Well, go on, kiss her,” Ca
mpbell said grinning.

  They embraced and kissed briefly and everyone clapped and the priest shook Jack’s hand and for a few moments the world seemed right and at peace and as far away from the horrors of war as anyone could imagine.

  And then it all faded as quickly as it had begun and the reality that Jack had to leave soon settled over the assembly like a cold rain.

  Chapter 37

  The months of March and April were exceptionally warm in Brownsville and the wind blew continuously and on the Ides of March it started raining. It rained on and off the rest of the month and well into latter part of April before tapering off just in time for a major deployment east of Brownsville.

  Since the beginning of April there had been a gentleman’s agreement in place for both sides not to advance without prior notice. But Confederate scouts had seen signs of a Union Calvary build up along the American side of the Rio Grande as far west as Boca Chica and Brazos Santiago. Colonel Ford was understandably concerned. He called a meeting of his staff officers to discuss possible counter measures. “I propose we send a regiment up to Port Isabel and put eyes on the coast line,” Captain Caldwell suggested. Colonel Ford was more or less in agreement, with the caveat that they send a squad over to Boca Chica to scout that location as well.

  At mess that evening Jack and Corporal Campbell were less than enthusiastic about engaging in more hostilities so soon after the Spring rains had stopped. “Probably get bogged down for sure in that marshy grass around the port,” Campbell said sourly.

  “I’m a little more worried about getting my ass shot off,” Jack said. “I mean, I’m a husband now, and a soon to be father. I have to keep myself in one piece for my family.”

  “Personally I have to stay in good shape for the senoritas,” Campbell said. “And I still haven’t had that train ride with a nurse yet. As you can see, I have a lot to live for.” He’d grown a thick beard that covered much of the scars on his face, but his cheeks still looked oddly distorted especially when he smiled.

  “I just hate seeing us go into another summer with this damn war still raging,” Jack said.

  “Four years.”

  “It was supposed to be over in six months.”

  “I signed up right after the first Bull Run fracas,” Campbell said. “You?”

  “Not until March of sixty-three. My granny needed me around the ranch. Couldn’t just leave her high and dry.”

  “No, suppose not.”

  “Maybe this will be the year,” Jack said sipping his coffee. “Maybe Lee will punch north again and crush Grant’s boys so badly they’ll give up and call it quits.”

  “I don’t know, Jack, I doubt he has enough left to do much punching with.”

  “How many times do I have to tell you, it’s Sergeant Jack to you,” Jack said grinning.

  They rode out early the next morning ahead of the sunrise traveling north by northwest. It was the eleventh of May 1865, two weeks before Jack’s twenty-third birthday. He had considered writing Marie to tell her he would be out in the field for a while, but thought better of it figuring there was no need worrying her unnecessarily. Their destination was the town of Port Isabel located on the Gulf of Mexico about twenty-five miles northeast of Fort Brown. Captain Caldwell figured to scout the coast line around the town for Union gunboats and supply ships that might possibly indicate a Union force build up in the area.

  As they drew near the town, Captain Caldwell called Jack aside and told him to take twenty mounted men and ride east along the coast line to Boca Chica looking for any sign of a Union presence. Jack selected twenty men including Corporal Campbell and rode out about mid morning hoping to reach the port town by lunch time.

  They arrived at the heights above the town just before eleven a.m. “What do you think?” Jack asked Campbell.

  “Don’t see much stirrin’ around.”

  “Me neither. Better ride in slow and check it out though. We’ll take three men with us. The others can stay here and watch the road in and out of town.”

  Jack along with Campbell and three other men rode into the sleepy little coastal town and stopped in front of the constable’s office. Jack went inside and spoke with a thin, balding man who claimed to be the top law officer in town. “Seen any Yankees around?” asked Jack cordially. The man shook his head.

  “Naw. Ain’t too keen on seein’ rebels in town neither.”

  “Why’s that?”

  “Don’t want our houses burned down or shot up. Don’t want all our goods plundered.

  “That’s not our intention, sir.” Jack said curtly asked.

  “You’re a wearin’ a uniform ain’t you?”

  “That’s right. Confederate gray. This is Confederate territory, mister.”

  “Blue, gray, that don’t mean nothin’ to us. This war should have never happened. We ain’t got no business killin’ each other. Hell, ain’t we all Americans?” Jack smoothed his hair in frustration.

  “Look, I just need to know if you’ve seen any Union troops moving around the area,” he said.

  “Over by White’s Ranch. ‘Bout a week ago. Calvary they was, bout fifty of ‘em I’d say.”

  Jack thanked the man and they joined the rest of the troops on the bluffs above the town. “We going after them?” Campbell asked.

  Jack nodded. “We’re gonna take a look anyway.”

  “How far is it to White’s Ranch?”

  “Ten miles or so.”

  They arrived at White’s Ranch two hours later and set up a small camp to prepare a meal and to scout out the land around the ranch. There was indication that Union troops had been there, but none of the scouts were able to locate any of them in or around the ranch property. Campbell found an old Mexican man feeding goats and asked him about the Yankee presence. “Si, I seen ‘em. They say they was going to Palmito Hill.”

  “How long a go?” asked Campbell.

  “Maybe dos dias, uh, two days.”

  “How many men?”

  “Forty-one. I count them. They wanted my goats for food. But I would not sell them. They are my friends.”

  Campbell thanked the old man and went to find Jack. They discussed the information for a while and decided to ride on to Port Isabel to find their captain.

  Chapter 38

  There was much excitement around Palmito Hill when Jack and his men arrived later that evening. Scouts from Caldwell’s unit had come across a contingent of union infantry a few miles south on the banks of the Rio Grand and had engaged them in a small but fierce battle. The Yankees called in reinforcements and the confederate forces had withdrawn back to Palmito Ranch to await the arrival of Colonel Ford and his two companies to bolster Captain Caldwell’s troops. It would appear that the Yankees were mounting another hard push northward to disrupt the westerly trade routes into Mexico.

  Colonel Ford arrived early the next morning and immediately formed the three companies into a single brigade. He sent out scouts to gage the number and position of the union forces and ordered the other men to eat a good breakfast and be prepared to move out on a moments notice.

  Jack and Campbell shared a breakfast of beef jerky and corn meal mush washed down with brew that was more chicory than coffee. “Looks like we might be doing some fighting later on,” Campbell said picking his remaining teeth with a match stick.

  “Yep,” Jack said.

  “Reckon it’ll be today?”

  “I expect so. The scouts said there was a whole brigade of Yanks gathered up around Palmito Ranch. The colonel’s resolved to stop them from moving any further north.”

  “Lord but I’m tired of fightin’, Jack. Aren’t you?” Jack thought for a very long time before saying,

  “I think I’m most tired of fighting myself.”

  On the afternoon of May 13th 1865, Colonel and his brigade marched south by southeast to engage the Yankees at Palmito Ranch. They encountered their first resistance at the western end of Palmito Hill where the 34th Indiana volunteers had dug in. Jack and his
company formed up near the west side of the Yankee line and waited until the artillery men had their Napoleons in position on a little hill a few yards behind the brigade. Colonel Ford ordered them to fire and all five of the cannons fired off twelve pounds balls into the heart of the Yankee line. Then the order was given for the infantry to attack and Jack and the other men in his company charged through the switch grass and black bramble until they reached the far left side of the battered union line. A furious skirmish began and soon the smoke was so thick Jack couldn’t tell if he firing at the enemy or a stone or even one of his own men. He fired into the thick smoke until he heard Captain Caldwell calling for retreat. They wanted to move the cannons to the center of the union line and had to get their men clear so they would be safe from the effects of the shelling.

  The big cannons opened up on the Yankee center and soon the men in blue began to fall back toward the river. The artillery continued to pound them to prevent them from regrouping and mounting a counter attack. Jack and his men picked off the stragglers one by one as they staggered across the shifting sand of the river bank. Within minuets, it was all over. What was left of the union brigade retreated back across the Rio Grande and set up breastworks to fend off the counter attack they knew was coming. The attack never happened, however. Colonel Ford ordered his men back toward Brownsville to protect the road to Laredo.

  They traveled through the night and arrived in Laredo at nine o’clock the next morning. Jack was anxious to see Marie, but his orders were to stay put on the south side of town and watch the road for any Yankees that might get through.

  Just before noon, Colonel Ford and a Calvary troop rode up the road from Palmito Hill and stopped with some news that took Jack and Campbell completely by surprise. “The war’s over boys,” the colonel said plainly. “General Lee surrendered up in Virginia over a month ago. I just now got the word from a courier out of Galveston.” Campbell couldn’t believe the news.