A Moment of Weakness

by Karen Kingsbury

  “It’s God. It has to be.” Alicia shook her head and her eyes filled with awe. “I can’t believe no one’s called the school district or the police.”

  “The police?” A breeze drifted off the baseball field and brushed against his face. Wendell made sure he had the right words before he continued. “It’s not a crime to tell kids about God, not if they’re interested. Not if they’re coming of their own volition, Alicia. You know that, right?”

  “It . . . it seems like a crime.” Clouds gathered in the distance. “You’re still risking your job, Wendell. The jobs of teachers like Jenny Anders.”

  He nodded slowly. “We understand that.”

  Alicia looked beyond him to the football team practicing in the adjacent field. “The changes here at Hamilton . . . Jenny tells me more students attend your club every week.”

  Wendell’s heart swelled with the reality. He held up the report he’d brought from his office. “The numbers just came in. Every measurable area at Hamilton has improved.” He kept his joy at bay, mindful of the heartache she was carrying from the losses that day at her own school. “You’re right. It’s all God. He’s the difference.”

  “Yes.” She made a sound that was more disbelief than anything. “No other explanation.”

  A deep joy took root in the soil of Wendell’s heart. Alicia was growing in her faith. Not just in knowledge but in belief. He was glad for her, glad for his answered prayers.

  He handed her the report, and waited while she looked through it. When she was finished she handed it back to him. “Every school in America should see these results.” Her voice fell. “Including mine.”

  “They’re about to . . .” Wendell could feel the thrill in his heart. “I’m sure of that.”

  The wind played in the trees overhead and Alicia stood. “I have to go. We’re having a vigil at school tonight.” The courage in her eyes was unmistakable. “I’m doing the opening prayer.”

  His heart was full as he stood and faced her. God had worked a miracle in her, too. “Proud of you, Alicia. Really.”

  She looked at him, deep into his eyes. “I’ve missed you, Wendell. I’m sorry for how I treated you. Sorry I wasn’t brave like you.”

  Wendell let that sink in. He pulled her close and hugged her. Longer than he should have. The spark was there for both of them. Wendell spoke words he hoped she would take with her. “You are now.”

  She smiled and they walked back to the main part of campus. When they reached his office, Alicia looked at him one more time. “Thank you. For what you said about me being brave now.” Her eyes were softer this time, less troubled. “God’s doing that, too. I can tell.”

  Then, with only a single glance back, she walked down the hall and out of the building. When she was gone from sight, Wendell exhaled. After his wife died, she was gone for good. There were no second chances, no way to see her again or look into her eyes once more.

  But with Alicia there had always been hope.

  And maybe it was still that way. Wendell allowed the possibility to linger. No . . . he was wrong. Today wasn’t a beginning, it was an ending. They’d lost their chance. But at least this was a better ending than the one they’d shared a year ago. He felt the ache of missing her again. With everything in him he wanted Alicia back in his life.

  Wendell tried to focus again on the parent assembly tonight. In just a few hours he would reveal at least some of the incredible changes at Hamilton to the parents. Because God hadn’t only asked Wendell to trust Him and to teach young people about His ways and His truth. God had also asked him to share the proof of His power at work.

  Which was just what Wendell was about to do.

  Only Cami and Jordy and a few other students from the Raise the Bar program would be there tonight. Otherwise, the gathering was for parents only.

  If parents chose to be critical of the Bible study and prayer times the kids and Wendell were having twice a week, they’d have a hard time saying so in the face of the students’ stories.

  Wendell settled in at his desk again. Sometimes he felt like the apostle Paul, a man bound for chains and prison because of his public support of God Almighty.

  But whatever the price, he would pay it—all in an effort to obey the Father.

  Wendell sorted through a stack of papers and found the report that had started it all. The one he’d put together two summers ago.

  The one titled “In This Moment.”

  His football from Les Green still sat on the top shelf of his bookcase, the words crying out to him every day, every time the Raise the Bar club met. What good can I do in this moment? Wendell smiled. Yes, he had answered the call, and his mission remained the same. To love the students at Hamilton High. And live up to the job duties he’d agreed to when he was hired. To establish a schoolwide vision of commitment to high standards and ensure the success of all students.

  A text message flashed across the screen of his cell phone. He glanced down and saw Alicia’s name.

  I’ll be praying for you tonight. You’re doing the right thing, telling those parents about the good news at Hamilton. So glad you’re being bold for Jesus!

  Wendell’s heart skipped a beat. Alicia . . . you still care. Thank You, God, for this. Wendell texted his reply. Thank you. That means more than you know.

  He pushed the happy thought from his mind. The approaching meeting needed all his attention.

  Tonight he would tell the parents how Hamilton High had changed, and how students now had a vision of commitment to high standards. How so many more students were actually succeeding. How their lives had been changed. And he would tell them that he couldn’t take credit for the dramatic changes at Hamilton. Not when it was the Lord alone who deserved the praise. He would tell all of this to the parents—some of whom were bound to be shocked or even angry.

  And then Wendell would trust God for whatever happened next.

  8

  One of the best things Cami loved about her new life, since she’d given her heart to Jesus, was the way she walked through her days not in the presence of anger. But in the presence of God.

  Last week their after-school club had talked about the fruits of the Spirit. As people developed a friendship with God, the fruit in their lives showed. Love and joy, peace and patience. Kindness. Gentleness. Self-control. They were an outgrowth of believing the Lord and obeying Him. The fruits were the most amazing thing Cami had heard in a long time because they were true.

  Cami was already feeling all of them. More love toward her friends and her family, a joy that couldn’t be described—even on days when all she could think about was how much she missed her mother. Cami felt peace over her father’s drinking and her little sisters’ constant questions about their mom. And patience was so much more a part of her routine.

  Patience hadn’t stood a chance before, when anger was her constant companion.

  Cami could be kind and she could be good—even when her father was mean to her. She wasn’t perfect, but she desired only to grow stronger in her faith. Self-control was another thing. Most of her senior classmates still didn’t attend the Raise the Bar meetings, and often they asked Cami to join them at parties on the weekends.

  But drinking with them was the last thing she felt like doing. When she finished her homework and studying each night, she only wanted to read over the Bible passages from the week.

  School was out for the day, so Cami took her books and her backpack to the football stadium, where Jordy and the team were practicing. This afternoon she was especially glad for the peace that filled her heart.

  Because truth be told, she should be a little more afraid.

  Yes, her life was better than it had ever been. But her father had no idea who she was or what she had become. And he definitely didn’t know that Cami liked a guy in the club. She settled on the top row of the bleachers and found Jordy. He was the quarterback. Number 7. Easy to find among the mix of players.

  Never had she imagined a year ago whe
n she attended the first Raise the Bar meeting that she and Jordy would ever like each other. No one at school seemed to mind that she was white and Jordy and his family were black.

  What mattered was their hearts, the way God had brought them together. The closer Cami drew to God, the more aware she was of Jordy’s incredible qualities. Next year, they both wanted to attend Liberty University.

  Cami wanted to study professional writing, and Jordy wanted to play for Liberty’s football team. Then he wanted to earn his master’s degree in business administration.

  They weren’t dating yet. But their feelings grew stronger every day.

  There was just one problem—Cami’s father.

  Her dad didn’t know about the Raise the Bar club, and he didn’t know about Cami’s newfound faith. He certainly didn’t know about her feelings for Jordy. Cami felt bad not talking to her dad about any of that, but what was the point. Her father’s hatred toward all things Christian was steadily growing. He blamed the Lord for losing his wife to a church man, and he was becoming more outspoken about having God’s name removed from public conversation.

  A whistle blew on the field, and Cami watched Jordy take charge of the huddle. The players clapped and then lined up in front of the ball. Jordy yelled out a few commands, and the ball was snapped into his hands. He danced back four steps, and then unwound his six-foot-three frame in fluid motion. The ball soared across the field and into the hands of one of his teammates, who ran straight for the end zone.

  “That’s what I’m talking about, Jordy!” the head coach yelled as he ran onto the field. He smacked Jordy on the back. “Just like that.”

  Cami smiled.

  Everything was going so well for both of them. A gust of concern made its way over the otherwise calm landscape of her soul. So long as her father didn’t come to the parents’ meeting tonight.

  Practice ended and Cami left for the library. Principal Quinn had told all of them to be there a few minutes before Parents’ Night began. Cami had homework first. Her heart pounded as she walked across campus. What if her dad did show up? She tried not to think about it.

  The meeting, she told herself. Think about that. The last time they got together, Principal Quinn had explained that he was going to talk about the Raise the Bar program with the parents. He had been waiting for statistics on the improvements. But he already knew how dramatically the lives of Hamilton High students had changed for the better. That’s when Principal Quinn had asked Cami to share how the club had helped her. She was happy to talk to the parents about the changes in her own life.

  Unless her dad showed up.

  Cami swallowed her fear. It wasn’t likely. Her dad probably didn’t even know about Parents’ Night. Of course, other moms and dads would be there and any of them could have a problem with the club. Which was why every student in the program was praying for the coming hours.

  Cami’s dad wouldn’t come, though. Of course not. For most of the last year, he had come home from work and downed a six-pack before thinking about dinner or whether the girls had homework. There was no reason to expect he’d remember a meeting tonight at Hamilton High. But if he did . . . if he heard what Principal Quinn was doing, if he heard what Cami was planning to share . . .

  Cami didn’t have to wonder what her father would do.

  He’d be through the roof livid. As her dad liked to say, heads would roll. And the first head would be that of Principal Quinn.

  Cami shuddered at the thought. Please, God . . . keep him out of this school tonight. Let him go straight home. But if not . . .

  She found a table in the library and waited for Jordy. As soon as he arrived, Cami pulled her history book from her backpack. They were using a new text this year, a decision made by Principal Quinn and the History Department. Jordy had explained the situation to her at the beginning of the semester.

  “Lots of schools teach what’s called revisionist history.” Jordy always had the inside scoop. Principal Quinn was his father, after all. “What that means is that some people have rewritten history to remove God from the text.”

  Now they were using a textbook that drew its information from original letters and documents written by the founding fathers.

  “I found this quote.” Cami opened her history book and lifted her eyes to Jordy. “It’s one of my favorites.” The quote was from Alexander Hamilton, the school’s namesake. Hamilton said, There is a certain enthusiasm in liberty, that makes human nature rise above itself, in acts of bravery and heroism.

  Cami smiled. “That’s what your dad did for us.” She looked at the quote in the history book again. “For the sake of liberty, your dad started the Raise the Bar program. So that we might know God.”

  “I never thought about it that way.” Jordy’s eyes softened. “Like what he did for us has been an act of bravery. Heroism, even.”

  “Exactly.” Cami loved this, the way she felt being with Jordy. The way they had so much in common now.

  One hour blended into another and the two of them finished their homework. The whole time Cami tried not to think about her dad. But occasionally her fear won out. What if he’d learned about Parents’ Night? What if the school had emailed him and this time he read the letter?

  “You’re worried.” Jordy looked at her.

  “A little.” She glanced at him. “Not about my talk. But whether my dad will show up.”

  “I knew you were thinking about that.” He closed his book and stared deep into her eyes. “Whether he comes tonight or not, Cami, you’ll give your talk, and you’ll be amazing.”

  She smiled again. “Thanks.”

  Finally, they made their way to the auditorium, where the meeting was about to start. They entered behind the stage and moved to the wings, where the other students were gathered—the ones from other groups who would speak tonight. Cami tried to scan the audience. Was he there? She couldn’t see every seat, but he didn’t seem to be in the room. She felt a fresh rush of peace. Thank You, God. . . . Thanks for protecting this program.

  “He’s not here,” Jordy whispered. He gave her a side hug. “Everything’s going to be okay.”

  Principal Quinn started the evening. He took the podium with a presence that was kind and confident. Cami watched and thought that this was how Jesus Himself might’ve talked to the crowd.

  “Thank you for coming tonight.” Principal Quinn smiled at the parents. “I have wonderful news to share with you. A reason to celebrate.” He went on to explain the Raise the Bar club.

  “Some have asked me,” their principal paused, “why I would share openly about the benefits of an after-school Bible study program. As if it might be illegal to have such a club.” He looked around. “The reason is very simple: It’s not illegal. And what God is doing at Hamilton High is too great to hide.”

  So true. Cami felt chills run down her arms. She scanned the audience again. The place was full, the parents definitely listening. Some looked puzzled, others nodded. A few even smiled. The main thing was that Cami’s dad wasn’t there. Good. She felt herself relax. Everything was going to be okay.

  She turned her attention to the front of the room again. Principal Quinn was sharing about the tremendous changes that had happened in the past year. The statistics and personal stories. The more he talked, the better Cami felt. She was so thankful for the club. And because of her new faith, she wasn’t angry anymore. Principal Quinn was the best.

  No one cared for Hamilton High’s students more than he did.

  When the time came for the students to share, Cami followed Jordy. As she took the stage and approached the mic, she checked once more. Still no signs of her father. Help me, Lord.

  Don’t be afraid, My daughter. I am with you.

  The words whispered across the surface of her heart and worked their way deep into her soul. God was with her. She could feel Him here. She took a quick breath. “Good evening. My name is Cami Nelson, and I am one of the original members of the Raise the Bar club.” Her notes
trembled in her hands. “Principal Quinn asked if I’d share my experience. But the truth is . . . I want to share.”

  Cami looked at her principal, standing a few feet away. His expression was pure encouragement. She looked at the parents again. “Before attending Raise the Bar, I was angry. Not a little angry, but really mad. All the time.” She was settling in, finding her passion. “I felt trapped by darkness. Like the days didn’t matter . . . and neither did I.”

  She explained how she attended the first Raise the Bar meeting almost in protest. “I was going to report them to the police because I thought it was illegal. Reading the Bible on school grounds.” Peace filled her heart. “But what happened next, I never could’ve imagined.” She saw movement near the back of the room. A man standing and moving closer. “God took hold of my heart and—”

  Cami stopped cold. She could see the man’s face now. Coming closer, taking one of the seats up front. A parent with the meanest eyes ever.

  Her father.

  What? The room started to spin. This couldn’t be happening. Maybe she should leave. Run out of the building and never look back. Cami clenched her jaw. No. She couldn’t do that. Jesus had gone to the cross for her. She could go to bat for Him.

  Even if her dad glared at her through every word.

  Cami looked at her notes. Where was she? Her heart pounded so hard it was all she could hear. Thud. Thud. Thud. Cami blinked twice. Help me, God, please. Suddenly she remembered where she was in her speech. “God took hold of my heart and now life makes sense.” She felt her courage double. “I have dreams about my future. I want to help people. And I have faith that I’ll be in heaven one day.”

  As she spoke, never once did she look at her dad.

  Not until the very end.

  “The Raise the Bar club is the best thing that ever happened to me.” This time she looked straight at her father. “I hope you think so, too. Thank you.”

  At that exact moment, Cami’s father got up and stormed out of the building. He didn’t need to stand up and yell his disapproval. Not at her or the program or Principal Quinn. His actions told Cami all she needed to know.