by Glynis Astie
I smacked him in the chest. “Oh, so that’s what you’ve spent all your time doing in France? I thought you were busy with school and work.” I laughed.
“Well, you can squeeze it in anywhere. You only have to be flexible!” He collapsed into laughter.
“What a heinous joke, birthday boy! We need to focus. Are you hungry? I’m sorry I made us miss our reservation.” I did feel a little bad. It was his birthday, after all.
“Do not be sorry, Syd. This was much better than any dinner could have been. In fact...I think I am ready for seconds...” He pulled me towards him.
“Louis! I’m going to need sustenance before any further activity. I’m starting to feel dizzy.” I was quite hungry since I had skipped lunch, but I had come pretty close to going for seconds myself. It was extremely difficult to resist him.
He sighed. “You are right. Shall we order a pizza?”
I frowned. “Are you sure pizza is what you want? It’s your birthday. Don’t you want something special?”
“What I want is you and pizza is a quick meal. Let’s order it, eat and get back to celebrating.”
Wow. That was direct. I couldn’t help but laugh as I stood up and grabbed my robe. I stopped for a moment when it dawned on me that I was falling in love with this man and he was leaving in a week. I was suddenly struck with sadness.
As I tried to drag myself out of it, he stood up and caressed my face. “What is the matter?” His brow furrowed with concern.
I shook my head. “Nothing. It’s silly. I was thinking about how I’m going to miss you.”
He seemed momentarily confused. Then his whole face broke into a smile “Sydney! I was so distracted by you when I came in, I forgot to tell you. My company has been asking me to move to the San Jose office for some time now, and this week, I finally said yes.” He paused and gazed deeply into my eyes. “You gave me a reason to take them up on their offer. I will be moving here next month.”
I just stared at him for a minute. I was completely speechless. He had agreed to be transferred to the US. He was moving here. My head was spinning. A normal person would have been ecstatic. A normal person would have immediately told Louis how happy she was and made mad passionate love to him despite the need for food. A normal person would have done something remotely sane. I; however, was descending into hysteria and it took all my strength not to run away. It was probably a good thing I was naked or I might have tried to escape...
I snapped out of my thought spiral and threw my arms around Louis. “I’m so happy!” I knew this is what I should be feeling. Instead, the panic was lurking right below the surface and I was desperately trying to understand why. Only moments ago I was filled with sadness over losing Louis. Now I wouldn't have to and I was terrified. Why am I such a freak?
For the rest of the evening, I pretended everything was fine. We had a pizza picnic on the living room floor and I gave Louis his birthday gifts. He had trouble containing his excitement about the concert tickets.
“Sydney, this is amazing! I have never seen them in concert.”
“I’m sorry; the seats are pretty bad.” I shook my head sheepishly. “It was all that was left.”
“Are you kidding? This is great! You will finally see what I am talking about. These guys are musical geniuses.”
He was beside himself with excitement. I attempted a smile even though my anxiety was reaching an alarming level.
After I sang him happy birthday, we fed each other the cupcakes I had baked for him and then retreated to my room and made love for hours. In the wee hours of the morning, Louis said he had to go.
“As much as I would love to stay with you, I have to get to work really early. I hope you have the chance to get some rest, Syd; you need it.” He kissed my forehead and lingered for a final moment.
“What about you? How are you going to function with so little sleep?” I linked my fingers through his.
He smirked. “Ah, you forget I was in the army for a year before I went to college. I have been trained to function with little sleep.”
I had totally forgotten about his stint in the army. Louis had seen and done so much in his life. How was I ever going to catch up? Would I truly be enough for him? He was meant to be with a sophisticated, multilingual supermodel, not awkward, anxiety-ridden me.
Louis gently put his hand under my chin, forcing me to look at him. “I have lost you again. Where have you gone?”
I composed myself. “I’m sorry. I’m exhausted. I wonder why!”
“Allow me to tire you out again tomorrow night.” He started to kiss my neck.
I sighed. “You’re such a romantic, Louis.”
He pinned my arms above my head. “There is that sass again!”
I rolled my eyes. “Yes, I’m full of it.”
Louis laughed and kissed me again. “I must go now or I will never make it out of here.” He got out of bed, grabbed his clothes and began to get dressed.
“I hope you had a good birthday. I know I enjoyed it.” I smiled sleepily at him.
“It was the best birthday I have ever had. Thank you, mon coeur.” He finished buttoning his shirt and came over to me.
I stood up and wrapped my arms around him. “You’re welcome. Feel free to celebrate with me anytime.”
He helped me into my robe and I walked him to the front door. “Drive safely, Louis. Call me when you get home, OK?” I had finally remembered to give him my cell phone number.
“Are you sure? You need to sleep.” He frowned at me.
“I won’t be able to sleep until I know you’re safe.” I gave him my worried eyes.
He took my face in his hands. “I will call you the moment I get to my apartment.” He kissed me tenderly, took his plant and walked to his car.
After I hung up with Louis, I closed my eyes and tried to sleep. I kept thinking about how happy I had been during this last week and how perfect everything seemed to be with Louis. SEEMED TO BE. It couldn’t possibly be perfect, since perfection didn’t exist, right? Now that he was moving here, at least I would have time to explore being with him. This was a great thing; I knew that! Then why was I so scared? And what the hell was wrong with Louis? There had to be something. It looks like I would have the time to find out now...
Chapter Nine
The good news, of course, was Louis was moving to California. The bad news was he would have to go back to France early for a few transitional meetings. Since he had to fly out Tuesday morning, this meant he would have to miss the concert. He called me at work on Monday morning to break the news.
“I am sorry, mon coeur. My boss just told me this morning. I feel terrible that I won’t be able to go. Especially since you went through so much trouble to get the tickets.”
“Louis, please don’t worry. I’m focused on the big picture. You’re staying! I still can’t believe it. We’ll have plenty of time to go to other concerts.”
“You are amazing, Sydney. I am a very lucky man.”
I blushed. Louis gave me seemingly endless compliments. I had every reason to believe him, but in the back of my mind, I still thought he was after something. I wasn’t sure what it was going to take to break me of this insecurity, but I had to try.
“I have to run, mon coeur, but I will call you later. Are you free for dinner tonight? Please tell me you are because I have to see you before I go back to France. Don’t make me do something drastic.”
I laughed. Louis’ opinion of drastic was pretty extreme. I could only imagine what he would have done. “Of course I’ll have dinner with you tonight. If I had made plans, I would have moved them. I need to see you too. I’m going to miss you! Do you really have to go back for two weeks?”
He sighed. “A project I have been working on for the past year is coming to a close and I need to be there to oversee a number of things. I would be able to finish it in a week and a half, but my mother’s birthday is August first and if I did not stay for the celebration, she would never forgive me. French w
omen can be quite frightening.”
“I can only imagine. It’s nice you’ll be able to see her for her birthday.” I paused. “She must be pretty upset about your move to California.” I knew Louis had a very large, close-knit family and I felt terrible that he would be so far away from them.
Louis scoffed. “She is not surprised. She always told me I had a ‘wandering spirit’ as a child. When I told her I was moving here, she said she knew I would not stay in France for long. She has always wanted to come to the US and is excited at the prospect of visiting California.”
I secretly wondered what she would think if she knew he was moving to California because of me. In general, the rest of the world seemed to think Americans were loud, fat and obnoxious. French women seemed to be so sophisticated and elegant. Nice, Sydney. You’re intimidated and you haven’t even met her yet. Sometimes even I was impressed with the level of my neuroses.
“I have to go to another meeting, Sydney. I will call you later. I have an idea for dinner...”
“You sound very wicked, Louis. What are you up to?”
I could hear the smile in his voice. “That would spoil the fun. Have a good day, mon coeur.”
“You too. Bye..B..uh..Louis.” I hung up the phone quickly. Crap! I sounded like such a moron! I was trying to pull off calling him, “Boo”, but I chickened out at the last minute and ended up calling him what sounded like “Bluey.” Why am I such a dork?
I sighed and put my head on the desk. He was definitely going to ask me for an explanation later. Louis never missed a thing. What was I going to tell him? I picked my head up and slowly began to smile as a thought occurred to me. He has beautiful blue eyes….and his name is pronounced “Louie.” Perfect! “Bluey” will now be my term of endearment for him. I’m brilliant!
I tried to turn my attention back to my work, but my mind was swirling with thoughts of last night. When I woke up this morning, I called Kate to tell her Louis was staying in the country. She was so excited she started squealing with delight. At that point, Nick took the phone and asked me to wait until his alarm went off next time before driving his wife into such a frenzy. I scanned the clock and saw it was only six in the morning. Oops. I apologized to Nick, who merely grunted and gave the phone back to Kate.
Once I had her back on the phone, I began my freak-out.
“What’s wrong with me, Kate? I should be thrilled, but I can’t stop the crazy in my head. I feel sick to my stomach.”
“Sweetie! This is great news. What are you worried about?”
“Before I wasn’t worried because it was temporary. I knew it was going to end soon. Now it’s REAL. He isn’t going anywhere - at least for a while - and he could break my heart.”
“He could also be the love of your life. Why do you always see the downside of any situation?”
“Look at what’s happened in my life so far. Every time I take a risk, it ends badly. How am I supposed to know it’ll be different this time?”
Kate sighed. “You don’t. You just have to try. You’ll never get anything worth having if you don’t take a risk.”
“That’s easy for you to say. You met Nick when you were a teenager. I keep floundering around with men who cause me pain. I’m tired of it!”
“Syd, slow down. Take a breath.” She paused. “Did you do it?”
“Yes.” I rolled my eyes at her. It was satisfying even though she couldn’t see me.
“Now take another one.”
I exhaled slowly. “OK. Now what?”
“Tell me how you feel about Louis.”
“Um, he makes me happy.”
“Good. What else?”
“He’s funny, intelligent, sexy…he’s wonderful.”
“So what are you afraid of?”
I took a shaky breath. “That it isn’t real. That it won’t last. That I’ll get hurt. Again.”
“Has he ever given you a reason to not trust him?”
“Kate, I’ve only known him for a week.”
“True, but I’ve never seen you fall for a man this hard, this fast. AND he’s picking up his entire life and moving it for you.”
“Come on, Kate. He isn’t moving for me.”
“Really?” Kate scoffed. “Didn’t you say he told you he’d been asked several times to move to California?”
“Yes, but...”
“Didn’t he tell you he finally agreed because of you?”
“Yes, but...”
“No, buts!!! Have a little faith in the guy. He’s obviously very into you. Stop thinking so much and enjoy being with him. I know a few women who would gladly trade places with you.”
I sighed. “I know you’re right; I just don’t know how to turn my brain off.”
“One step at a time, little sister. Focus only on the day ahead of you. STOP thinking five years down the road!”
“OK, OK. I get it!”
“Good! It takes a lot to get through to you. Am I going to have to do this on a daily basis? Because I don’t think Nick can take it.” She started to laugh.
“So glad to amuse you this early in the morning.” I smirked. “I love you, goofball.”
“I should be saying that to you, nut job!”
We both collapsed into giggles.
“Thanks for always making me feel better, Kate.”
“I’d do anything for you, Syd. You know that.”
I heard a beeping in my ear. “I have to run, Kate. I’m getting another call. I’ll talk to you later.”
“Say hi to Louis for me...”
I hung up on Kate and picked up the other call. “Hello?”
“Good morning, sunshine!” Maya? She was decidedly not a morning person. Something must be up.
“Hey! How are you?” I was unsuccessful at stifling a yawn.
“I’m fine. Out late last night?” I could hear the anticipation in her voice.
“Maybe. Who’s asking?” She deserved to be given a hard time.
“Stop messing with me, Syd. Spill!”
I filled Maya in on my date with Louis, which involved answering a lot of highly inappropriate questions. She was a very nosy friend, but I loved her dearly. When she started going a bit too far, I abruptly cut her off.
“Stop being such a stick in the mud, Syd.”
“Hey! You pushed more out of me than Kate did. You’ve heard enough.”
“How excited are you? He’s moving to California!”
I held my breath for a moment. “Very excited.”
“Oh my God. You’re freaking out, aren’t you?”
“Shut up! I am not.”
“Sydney?” She became quite stern when she was making a point.
“Fine. I’m freaking out. I’m doing my best to control my insane personality. How bummed would Louis be to discover he’s moving to California for a lunatic?”
“Looks like he’s going to love himself a lunatic.” I could easily picture her smirk over the phone.
I grinned. “OK, smartass. I have to get ready for work.”
She paused slightly. “Stop thinking you aren’t good enough.”
It really shocked me when Maya hit the nail right on the head. She didn’t go for sincerity often, but when she did, she left you speechless.
“I love you, Syd.” And she was gone.
The morning whizzed by and before I knew it, it was one o’clock. I ran into the kitchen to grab my lunch and came back to find my phone ringing.
“Sydney Bennett. How may I help you?”
“You may have dinner with me this evening and then come back to my apartment...”
I felt my face go red. “Hi, Louis.”
“What happened to Bluey? I liked it. You are a very clever girl.” His voice was smoldering. This made my thoughts go to a very improper setting for the office.
I sighed with relief. Thank God he bought it. “Where would you like to go to dinner tonight, Bluey?”
“How about the Mexican place you often go to with Kate? It sounds good.”
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“Carlos will be sad not to see Kate, but I’m sure we’ll have a good time.” I laughed.
“You know, you can always bring Kate and Nick. It would be nice to meet them.”
“No way! You’re leaving tomorrow and I don’t want to share you with anyone. You can meet them another time.”
He laughed. “I see. Well I am happy you want me all to yourself. What do you plan to do with me?”
“This is not a conversation I can have right now, but I’ll be glad to go over my plan during dinner.” I could feel the heat in my face as I thought about the possibilities.
“I cannot wait to hear this! Until tonight, mon coeur. What time should I pick you up?”
“How about seven? I need a little time to prepare.”
“Now I am curious. I will be wondering all afternoon what you have in store for me.”
“That’s the idea.”
He sighed. “I hate waiting!”
“Me too. But it will be worth it.”
After we hung up, I was useless. All I could think of was what I wanted to do with Louis tonight.
I left work a little early to allow myself extra time to primp before Louis’ arrival. Thankfully, I was the only one in the apartment, so I was able to take a long soak in the tub without being disturbed. I added jasmine scented bath oil and lit the relaxation candles Kate had given me for Christmas. After an hour, I felt amazing and it was time to move on to phase two.
I decided since tonight was our last night together for a while, I would pull out all the stops. Following my extensive efforts, I was freshly shaved, tweezed and moisturized in all the right places. I put on my sexiest lingerie - a black satin bustier and matching panties - and a short black miniskirt. I decided on a red scoop neck blouse, black chunky heels and silver hoop earrings. I wore my hair in a bun and applied a little makeup. With my choice of outfit, I didn’t need much, only powder, mascara and lipstick.
Just as I was admiring my handiwork, the doorbell rang. I glanced at the clock and noticed Louis was fifteen minutes early. I walked to the door (no running in these heels) and found Jess letting Louis in the front door.