by Glynis Astie
“Hey, Syd! Look at you, sexy girl.” She grinned at me.
Surprise, surprise, I blushed. “Thanks, Jess.”
Louis laughed. “She cannot take a compliment, can she?”
“Nope. Get used to it. It’s fun to make her blush though!” She waved and went to her bedroom.
Louis put his arms around me and whispered in my ear. “You look wonderful.”
I nuzzled into his neck. “I wanted you to have something to think about when you go back to France and see all those sexy French women.”
“They have nothing on you, mon coeur.”
“You’re such a charmer.”
“Only for you.” He kissed me tenderly on the lips. “Are you ready for dinner?”
“Absolutely. It takes a long time to look this good.”
Louis smiled slightly. ” Are you sure you are hungry for food?” He began to kiss my neck and run his hands slowly down my back.
“Louis...” I whispered.
He pulled back and stared deeply into my eyes. My entire body was tingling as he took my hand and led me into my bedroom. Once I closed the door, our hands immediately went to work undressing each other. As he touched me, I began to shiver with anticipation. I had never been this attracted to any man, mind and body, and it both thrilled and scared the crap out of me. I still suspected there was something wrong with him, but I just didn’t care...
Chapter Ten
I woke up the next morning feeling depressed. Two weeks without Louis was going to be hard. We had the most amazing night together, with practically no sleep, and had a very hard time saying good-bye. Louis stayed until the last possible minute, but at seven o’clock he had to leave. As I walked him to the door, I vowed to keep busy so the time would go quickly. No sitting around and pining for me.
Louis pulled me into his arms. “I am going to miss you, mon coeur.”
I buried my head in his chest. “I’m going to miss you too.” I sighed. “What will I do without you?”
“I am sure you will find something to do.” He smirked. “Please make sure Maya does not get you into too much trouble.”
“You can never be too careful with those Jersey girls.” I laughed.
He put his finger underneath my chin and raised my gaze to his. “I will call you every day, Sydney.”
I shook my head and smiled. “Louis, you’re going to be insanely busy. You won’t have time to call me every day. Call me when you can.”
He narrowed his gaze at me. “I will call you every day. It will help me to get through all the bullshit if I can hear your voice.”
I was incredulous, but I did my best to hide this from Louis. “What about your friends and all your plans? How will you possibly swing daily calls with a packed schedule and the time difference?”
“Do you not believe I can do anything? I thought we had discussed this...” He chuckled.
I kissed him gently on the lips. “You’re an amazing man, Louis Durand. Please travel safely. You’re precious to me.” It was nice to know Dorky Sydney was still present and accounted for.
He kissed me a little less gently on the lips and left me breathless. “I will call you when I can. I have meetings all day and my flight leaves at seven. Just know I will be thinking of you.”
I nodded. I felt tears coming to my eyes and didn’t want Louis to see them, so I threw my arms around his neck.
“We will be together again before you know it. You will soon become tired of me, mon coeur and then you will cry for another reason!” He laughed.
I swatted him in the back of the head. “You’re going to be late.”
He kissed me one last time and then he was gone. I felt miserable, but had no time to dwell on it since I had to get ready for work.
I was putting my shoes on when the phone rang. Louis!
“Hello?”
“Duck! Where have you been?” I could hear my father’s booming voice full of concern.
“Dad! I’m sorry I haven’t called mom. The last few days have been especially busy.”
“No shit! I can’t believe you’re dating a Frenchman. What are you thinking?” I inhaled sharply. I hadn’t told either of my parents about Louis yet. Thank you, Kate.
Now I was going to be late for work so I could deal with my father’s bias towards French people. My dad was a real piece of work. While he was one of the kindest and most generous men I knew, he was also the most opinionated. His strongest opinions revolved around politics, but he could pontificate on any subject under the sun.
I sighed. “Dad, there’s nothing wrong with French people.”
“Tell that to the many people they’ve negatively affected.”
“Dad, can we not do this now? I’m late for work.”
“Listen, Duck. You need to call your mother. She misses you.”
I sighed. “I’m sorry, Dad. I’ve been a little distracted.”
He chuckled. “I bet you have. Make sure you call your mother, TODAY. She wants to hear about this Linus...”
“Louis, Dad. His name is Louis.”
“Whatever. She’s hurt you haven’t told her. We had to find out from your sister.”
“Dad...”
“And before you try to blame her, she thought you’d told us. She feels terrible for spilling the beans.”
“Again, Dad, I’m really sorry; I didn’t want to get mom’s hopes up. There’ve been too many disasters over the past few years; I didn’t want her to worry.”
“I’m happy for you, Duck. Now let your mom be happy for you too, OK?”
“I will. I promise. I love you, Dad.”
“I love you too, Syd.”
Wow. I’m a terrible daughter. After all the horrible things my mom has held my hand through, I hadn’t told her about the amazing things that were happening now. I grabbed my purse and ran out the door. I quickly dialed my mom on my cell phone as I got into my car. She must have been otherwise engaged because I got her voicemail.
“Mom, I’m sorry I haven’t called. And I’m very sorry you didn’t hear about Louis from me first. Call me when you can. You won’t believe all the wonderful things I have to tell you. I think I’ve finally found myself a nice nerd.” I laughed as I hung up the phone.
Through all my romantic woes, my mom told me what I really needed was a nice nerd. All through school, she watched me engage in typical teenage girl behavior. Chase the hot guy and either get nowhere or get hurt. Her philosophy was that the nice, smart men were there for the long haul. She tried to remind me, unsuccessfully on many occasions, of the need for more than physical attraction to build a relationship. She told me I had to be able to see the big picture and go for the man who was kind, funny, intelligent AND attractive. She reminded me not to be short sighted and to realize the nice nerds were attractive too. (Perhaps not quite as attractive as the bad boys I used to chase, but pretty darn attractive!) To my great embarrassment, it had taken me a very long time to figure this one out.
The first week Louis was gone went by pretty quickly. Kate and Maya made it their mission to keep me occupied so I wouldn’t let my mind go wild about what Louis could be doing back in France. I had a very vivid (read: irrational) imagination and they were committed to preventing any of my asinine ideas from catching hold. I was taken to dinner, movies, spa outings, shopping trips and even wine tasting.
Maya had a particularly enjoyable time embarrassing me during a shopping trip to the lingerie department in Bloomingdales. She picked out the most outrageous items she could find and dared me to try them on. Tired of her jokes at my expense, I took the challenge. Though I’m sure my face was a scary shade of puce, I showed her each and every one of her selections and even decided to buy what I considered to be the most conservative of the bunch. It was a sheer black, backless teddy. To celebrate my boldness, Maya took me out for cheesecake, our favorite shared vice.
“I’m impressed with you, Syd. You put on quite a show.” She grinned as she took a huge bite of her chocolate cheesecake.<
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“You always push me out of my comfort zone. I hate you for it at the time, but it generally pays off later.” I paused. “Except for the lime green dress....that was wrong.”
Maya laughed. “Sorry, Syd. Even the great ones make mistakes occasionally. Or maybe it was just for fun.”
“Shut up! You didn’t.” I stared at her with wide eyes. “How cruel!”
She grinned. “I guess you’ll never know, will you?”
As I was about to tell her to stick it where the sun don’t shine, my cell phone rang. “I’m sorry, Maya. I need to take this.”
She rolled her eyes. “Tell Louis not to keep you so long this time. We have more shopping to do.” She grabbed her purse and went off to the ladies room.
I greedily picked up the phone. “Hi, Bluey.”
“Mon coeur! It is so good to hear your voice.”
My stomach flipped with excitement. “You just talked to me ten hours ago.”
“Well, it was too long.”
I laughed. True to form, Louis had called every day, at least once a day. I was absolutely gob smacked. (I love that word! And it captures my feeling so well.) I think I was convinced he would forget about me once he returned to France; that somehow the spell would have been broken. Nothing could have been further from the truth. Louis had made it his mission to make sure I remembered him.
I looked forward to our phone calls every day. Not only did I get to hear his beautiful voice, but I would also get to hear all about the latest adventures of his family. He had ten sets of aunts and uncles and more cousins than I could possibly remember. He was extremely close to two of his female cousins, who were sisters. They were very active in the late night social scene and had a variety of suitors who never lasted. Louis laughed and told me no one would ever be good enough for them, so he was not concerned.
He described his uncles as warmhearted and extremely funny. There was always some sort of farming or contracting disaster they would charm their way out of. His aunts, unfortunately, were very disappointed in his decision to move to the US, but his mother remained supportive of his decision. Though she was not surprised about the move, she knew there was something he wasn’t telling her. So, of course, she kept pushing until he revealed he had met an American woman. She asked him a ton of questions about me and was truly disappointed in my lack of fluency in French. She informed him in no uncertain terms, I would be expected to do something about this deficiency soon, because she was too old to learn English.
Louis called me whenever he could, which sometimes meant I was awakened at three in the morning and had to try to form coherent thoughts. I received calls from friend’s houses, stores, nightclubs and restaurants, always involving loud music and/or yelling in the background. He said his friends had given him a very hard time about being so “whipped” and they were all astounded that he had consented to date only one woman.
He proudly told me he had to bring me to France soon because there was a line of people who wanted to meet the woman who had finally tamed him. He laughed as he explained the men were upset because he was their hero and they felt let down in his decision to “give up the fight” and the women were upset that it took an American woman to do the job. Apparently, a few of the women thought he must have lost his mind to settle for an American, as the women are so fat, poorly groomed and crass.
While I found the stories amusing (and yes, somewhat satisfying), after a week of hearing about the amazement of his friends, I started get nervous. Was I going to be enough for him? Was this just something he was trying because it was different? Would he eventually grow tired of being with one woman? I had dealt with many different man problems over the years, but this was a whole other level of worry. I felt completely out of my element. I decided to call my mom for a sanity check. She had been very excited to hear all about Louis when I called her last week and I knew she would be able to set me straight.
Thankfully, it was a slow day at the store, so she picked up on the second ring.
“Hello?”
“Hi, Mom!”
“Sydney Bennett! How are you?”
Simply hearing her voice made me smile. I was freaking out for no reason. I think I need to tape record her saying calming things and play it for myself when I have a bout of the crazies. Maybe I should have her record a few hours’ worth...
“How’s business?” I was so proud of her. She started this business completely on her own and managed all aspects of it herself. She was exceptionally intelligent and creative and was thrilled to finally be doing something she loved. Life as a financial analyst hadn’t been too exciting, but it had paid the bills.
“Great! I just booked three more birthday parties. Kids love it here. It’s so much fun to be part of.”
I laughed. “You can’t wait to be a grandmother, can you?”
“Well, I certainly don’t want anyone to call me ‘grandma’ since I’m much too young for that, but I wouldn’t mind taking care of a little one I’m related to.” She chuckled. “Your brother and sister aren’t cooperating.”
“Give them some time, Mom. It’s not like either one of them have been married for very long! I’m sure you’ll have your chance to be a...whatever you decide to call yourself... before you know it.”
She sighed. “I hope you’re right.”
“I am right, but in the meantime, you must devote yourself to other things. Like your children’s problems.”
My mom gasped. “Did something happen with Louis?”
“No. Yes. Well, nothing happened exactly, it’s just, the more I learn about him, the more worried I become that I won’t be enough for him.”
“Sydney.” Uh oh. Here comes the serious voice. “Has he ever given you a reason to think this is the case? “
“Well, no. But, he’s lead a very exciting life, full of different people and experiences, while I’ve lived a relatively boring life. I’m not sure I’ll be able to keep his interest.”
“It sounds to me like he’s pretty interested in you, honey. He is moving to California for you.”
“Mom! It’s only been a week. What if he’s intrigued by the novelty of it all? He’s never been with an American woman before. Plus, he used to be such a player; I’m not sure it would be so easy for someone to change.”
“Sydney Bennett! I’m surprised to hear you say such a thing! You’ve changed quite a bit since you were a child. After everything you went through, how could you not become at least a little different? I’d like to think you’d give Louis the benefit of the doubt.”
“I know, Mom.” I sighed. “I don’t want to get hurt again.”
“Listen, Syd, I know you want some kind of guarantee, but you aren’t going to get one. Even if Louis told you right now that he wanted to be with you for the rest of his life, you wouldn’t believe him. You have to give yourself time to trust him. Just be careful not to ruin your experience by second guessing everything, OK?”
I thought it over for a moment.
“Syd?”
“I’m here.” I exhaled slowly. “I’ll try.”
My mom laughed. “Trying is all you can do...and it’s good enough.”
The second week Louis was gone passed excruciatingly slowly. Kate was extremely busy at work and Maya had met a new guy, so I didn’t have my usual distractions. I went through my cell phone and tried to reconnect with old friends, but everyone seemed to be busy. Even Jess and Maggie were nowhere to be found. As a result of my newfound loneliness, I clung to Louis’ phone calls like a life raft. Probably not the best idea when you’re concerned about keeping someone interested. It would simply not do to appear needy.
Unfortunately for me, Louis’ week was far busier than mine. He wasn’t able to call as often, which fed my irrational notions that he was out philandering with buxom young women. (Laugh at my chosen expression all you want. I challenge you to turn a pithy phrase when you’re not in your right mind.) After two days without speaking to him, I was starting to get the shakes
. I finally gave in and called him, only to have a sultry female voice answer his phone.
I was so shocked, I hung up and immediately called Maya. She promptly gave me a lecture about jumping to conclusions and told me to “chillax.” After two more days of not hearing from Louis, I considered our relationship to be over and began yet another post-dumbass rehabilitation process. Imagine how silly I felt when he called me later in the day with profuse apologies for not getting in touch with me due to a surprise hunting trip. He explained how he was carried out of his parents’ house in the middle of the night four days earlier and his cell phone was left with his cousin Monique…
By Friday, I was so eager for him to return that I became restless. Thankfully work was fairly slow, so I didn’t have to worry about any major damage due to my major distraction. Instead of catching up on filing, I decided to surf the internet for potential activities once Louis returned. I wanted to show him all my favorite places in the Bay Area. We could go hiking in Muir Woods, go to the beach and boardwalk in Santa Cruz, have dinner in the “rotating restaurant” in San Francisco (I could never remember what hotel it was at the top of, only that the view was awesome) and stay in a romantic hotel in Sausalito.
I suddenly realized I had no idea if Louis would enjoy hiking or the beach. From everything I had heard about his life so far, he enjoyed extreme activities the most. For someone like me, who was severely athletically challenged, this was a bit concerning. I was certainly willing to try new things, but there was a limit. Would he be willing to slow down for me? Would I be exciting enough for him? The familiar feeling of insecurity started to seep its way through my consciousness.
Take a breath, Sydney. You’re moving way too fast. Stop thinking so far in the future. One day at a time, just like the theme song says. I started humming the familiar tune (ba da da...) and felt a little better. When Louis gets back, we will get to know each other better. There’s no need to panic. I gathered it might be a good idea if I stopped wondering what was wrong with Louis and start working on making sure he didn’t find out what was wrong with me. Otherwise, he would start running for those beautiful California hills...