Loving Tessa (January Cove)

by Hanna, Rachel

  “Tessa, you've got to stop this.”

  “Stop what?”

  “Putting this wall up around you. It's okay if people care about you and help you. Let me care, okay?” he said softly as he rested his hands on her shoulders. Every nerve ending in her body lit up at his touch, but she wasn’t about to show it. Still, her heartbeat sped up and she was sure she might hyperventilate at any moment.

  “But how can you care about me? You don't even know me. I understand that you're just being nice like you would to anyone.”

  “That's not true. I don't help everyone like this. In fact, I didn’t want to be around anyone after my breakup. When you met me, I was coming home from a self-imposed exile to the mountains. I was trying to calm myself down, get rid of the anger. I was trying to be alone, so I certainly wasn’t up for helping anyone.”

  “Then why me?” she finally asked softly, wondering if it was the wrong question to pose to someone who was trying his best to protect her.

  “I don't want to scare you.”

  “Scare me?”

  “Yeah. Because it might make me sound like a lunatic or a stalker myself,” he said with a little laugh.

  “Come on. Tell me.”

  “Well, when I saw you out in the rain wrestling with your dog, I couldn't help but notice how beautiful you are. After having gone through such a heartbreak recently, it was nice to see a beautiful woman and watch her smile. Then, when I saw you in your swimsuit down by the shore with your son, I can't say that I wasn’t a little bit attracted to you.”

  She started to smile and looked down at her feet.

  “So you're helping me because you think I'm pretty?”

  “No. It helps, but no,” he said with a smile. “I'm helping you because I like you, for one thing. I think you're a nice person, and I really like Tyler. And like I said before, I hate bullies. So, I'd like for you to stop questioning the reasons why I'm helping you if you don't mind.”

  “Okay. Fair enough. I’ll stop asking. So where do you want to go then?”

  “Come on, I'll show you. I don't want to ruin the surprise.” She smiled, and for the first time in a long time she was excited to be surprised about something. All of the surprises that she’d had in most recent years we're not good ones. Like the surprise of finding out that her ex was an abuser or the surprise that she was going to spend years locked in the basement of his home, unable to see anyone.

  They went out to the car and he opened the door for her. “We have to drive there?”

  “This is a huge property, so walking would take too long and we’d be tired before we even got there.”

  “Okay,” she said as she slid into her seat and watched him walk around the vehicle.

  They drove down the long gravel driveway deep into the woods behind the house. A few moments later, she could see an opening and what appeared to be a body of blue water.

  “What's that?” she asked with all of the enthusiasm of a small child seeing the ocean for the first time.

  “That is a blue spring. At least that's what we call it. Some underground springs come directly from the ocean and feed into this small pond.”

  He walked around and opened the door for her before she could get out. She wasn't sure if she'd ever get used to the chivalrousness of a true Southern gentleman, but she was sure willing to try.

  “This place is beautiful,” she said as she looked around and tried to take in all of the scenery. With the lushness of the green trees and the beauty of the sparkling blue water, she’d never seen anything like it.

  “We used to come down here and fish when I was a kid sometimes. The cool thing is that some of the aquatic life from the ocean filters to the springs over here so sometimes I'll see things like little crabs running here along the shore,” he said pointing to the ground.

  “It's like your own private oasis,” she said. She thought to herself how nice it would be to have a private spot where no one could find her, but she also knew that it would be short-lived. She wasn't about to put Aaron or his family in harms way, so she couldn't tell him that she planned to get the heck out of Dodge before her ex found her.

  Chapter 7

  Aaron wasn't used to having a woman to care for like Tessa. Natalie had never really needed him, but it felt good to be needed. As the youngest of his siblings, he’d always longed to have a brother or sister to care for, but he was the baby. It was kind of nice to be able to comfort Tessa and tell her everything was going to be okay.

  It'd only been a couple of days since he’d known her, but he felt a fierce sense of protection that went far beyond just being a Southern gentleman. Of course, his mother had instilled in him that he was supposed to be chivalrous and protective of women in general, but this was something else entirely.

  He also wasn't accustomed to feeling such strong feelings for someone in such a short period of time. Even with Natalie, it had taken years to get to the point to where he wanted to propose marriage. A part of him would always believe that he only did it because he was getting older and felt like it was time to settle down.

  He thought to himself how strange it was that those feelings of anger that he had toward Natalie had dissipated in the last two days as his focus had shifted. She no longer seemed relevant to him, and he felt ambivalent about her even taking up space in his mind anymore. Maybe it was just a good distraction to have Tessa and Tyler around, but he couldn't convince himself of that.

  "So what are we going to do?" she asked with a smile on her face.

  "See that canoe over there?" She looked across the shoreline and then back at him.

  "Seriously?"

  "Why not?"

  "I've seen a lot of people tip over in those things! What if we fall in?" she asked with a giggle.

  "Then we’ll dry off." He laughed and then realized that she really was a little bit scared of going out on the water with him in a canoe. Maybe he shouldn't push her, he thought, but he really wanted her to have an afternoon to enjoy herself before his sister called back with whatever news she would have about Tessa's ex. “If you don’t want to…”

  “No, it’s okay. I want to,” she said nodding her head as if she was trying to convince herself.

  “Don’t worry. I go out in canoes all the time. I’m an old pro,” he said as he walked backward down the shore to get the canoe. Not looking where he was going, he tripped on a rock by the shore and hit the ground like a sack of potatoes.

  “Aaron!” she yelled as she ran toward him, but she also tripped and fell right on top of him, both of them just inches from the water nipping at the land.

  “Are you okay?” Aaron asked, pulling her long hair away from her face as she struggled to hold up her head. “Tessa?” he said softly. She was laughing so hard that she couldn’t speak and then buried her head in his chest. He joined in her laughter and put his arms around her.

  “I’m so sorry…” she said between breaths. “I thought you were hurt, and then I tripped…”

  “It’s okay. This has been the best thing to happen to me in months,” he said with a chuckle, and that only send her into further hysterics. “You have the best laugh I’ve ever heard,” he said softly as she turned her face up to his. Never in his life had he wanted to kiss someone so bad. He could almost taste her full lips, and he wondered what those lips could do to him in other places. As if she sensed his inappropriate thoughts, and maybe the inappropriate things his body was starting to do to him, she slid backward and up onto her knees next to him.

  “Um, maybe I should help you get the canoe this time,” she said with a nervous giggle.

  “Tessa,” he said as he touched her arm and sat up. “It’s okay. I’m not expecting anything from you, okay?”

  “I wasn’t… I didn’t…” she stammered.

  “You’re beautiful and funny and sweet and smart, and I’m a man. But you don’t have to be nervous around me. I don’t take what isn’t mine like that jackass of an ex did. You belong to you, Tessa. Don’t you e
ver let any man take that control from you again, you hear me?” he said with more intensity than he meant to project. Her eyes welled up, and there he was again - about to make a woman cry.

  “You’re like a Hallmark card. How do you know the right thing to say every single time?” she said softly as she blinked her eyes quickly to stop the tears.

  “I don’t. Trust me. Several women might disagree with you on that one,” he said with a wink as he pulled both of them to their feet.

  “Well, apparently some women are too dumb to know what they have,” she said quietly as she walked toward the canoe. Aaron’s heart quickened for a moment, but he pushed the comment to the back of his mind and helped her slide the canoe into the water.

  ***

  She was beautiful. No doubt about it. And he was going to get screwed again. Somehow, some way, she would break his heart just like Natalie did, but it wouldn’t be her fault. It would be some jackass abuser named Ethan’s fault, and he’d like to put his fist into his…

  “You okay over there?” she asked, breaking his thought - which was probably a very good thing.

  “Just enjoying the scenery,” he said, looking directly at her.

  “Yeah, it’s stunning out here. The trees, the blue water…” She seemed oblivious to the fact that he was talking about her. She thought so little of herself, and it pained Aaron. How did some idiot get so much power over her for so long? “You love the outdoors, don’t you?”

  “Yes. I’m definitely the outdoorsy one in our family. I was always outside as a kid, finding bugs and building tree houses. Broke my arm twice in the same year falling out of trees.”

  “Seriously? Ouch! I’ve never broken a bone. Not adventurous enough, I guess,” she shrugged.

  “Breaking bones is for idiots, and I was definitely an idiot as a kid. I have three older brothers, and they loved to dare me to do stuff. One time, Kyle dared me to climb onto the roof to get a Frisbee he’d thrown up there. My Mom came outside just in time to see me fall into the bushes. I was all scratched up, but I only broke a toe that time. Miracle.”

  “That is a miracle! It must have been nice to grow up with siblings. Someone always has your back,” she said as she watched the oar he was rowing with glide back and forth in the water.

  The trees shaded the pond just enough that only slivers of sunlight were coming through, and the breeze was just enough to blow the soft waves of her hair across her bronzed shoulders. Afraid she would catch him staring at her, he finally spoke. “Siblings are great, except you have to share everything with them. Like Christmas. When we were struggling for money, Christmas could be very slim pickings, and my mother would have to spread the gifts out between five kids. She was far too proud to ask for help from anyone. Sometimes, I’d get jealous of friends at school who had both parents and got lots of gifts…” Suddenly, he felt like a jerk. Here he was complaining about not getting enough Christmas presents as a kid when Tessa had lost both parents and been abused. “Damn, Tessa, I’m so sorry. I should have thought before I spoke,” he said, putting the oar down and running his fingers through his hair.

  “Why?”

  “Because I didn’t have it anywhere near as bad as you did. What am I complaining about?”

  “Aaron, we all have things that make us upset or sad from our pasts. We all have stories. No one person’s story is any less legitimate than another’s. I wasn’t thinking anything bad about what you were saying at all. I was just enjoying your stories.” She smiled the most genuine smile at him, and it made his heart ache for her. How could any man have had a woman like this and spent every waking hour trying to make her not smile? Not feel loved. It was beyond his comprehension.

  “Do you have any good memories from your childhood?”

  “Oh, of course I do. Before my mother died, we had a great family. I was their only child. My mother was told she could never have kids, so I was a miracle.”

  “You still are,” he said softly without thinking. “Oh, crap, did I say that out loud?”

  She giggled. “Yes, you did. And thank you. That is the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me in my life.”

  “Really?”

  “Really. You’re such a sweet guy, Aaron. How could that nasty woman have done what she did to you?”

  “Not everyone thinks I’m sweet, Tessa,” he said as he picked up the oar again. “I’ve got my faults. I’m stubborn and opinionated at times.”

  “I see that as strong minded and self directed.”

  “How do you do that?”

  “Do what?”

  “Still see the good in things after all that as happened to you?”

  “Because I have to, Aaron, or I’d go crazy. There is good in the world and in people. You just have to find it.”

  He stared at her for a moment, wishing he knew what to say. There was no way he could take her painful memories away or make things better. He could only wait for Stan to call back with an update. He felt helpless, yet he knew he was all that was standing between her and total despair.

  ***

  It was all getting too close and personal, but she couldn’t help but feel comfortable around Aaron. He seemed kind and sweet and generous, but then again she’d thought Ethan was a decent person. She never thought of him being particularly kind or sweet or generous for that matter, but he seemed okay. He seemed safe. Oh, how wrong she’d been about that.

  Aaron had been quiet for a few minutes, rowing against the calm of the blue springs. She’d never seen a place so beautiful in her life. It was the most peaceful place on Earth, she was sure of it. She felt very secure here, like no one could ever find her. Yet she knew that Ethan could find her anywhere on the planet if he wanted to.

  “Whatcha thinkin’ about?” Aaron finally asked.

  “About how this must be the most peaceful place on Earth,” she said, recounting her thoughts.

  “It definitely ranks at the top. Sometimes I come here when I need to think.”

  “Did a lot of that recently, huh?”

  “Oh, yes. If these trees could talk,” he said with a wink. “The thing is, you can come out here and yell at the top of your lungs and no one is going to hear you. Why don’t you try it?”

  “Yelling?” she asked, putting her hand on her chest in shock.

  “Sure. Sometimes yelling helps get all the emotional crap out. Don’t you have some pent up anger you’d like to unleash?”

  “Of course, but I’m not doing it here… in front of you.” She shook her head and laughed nervously.

  “Okay, but what would you yell if you could? I mean, what would you say to your ex?”

  “I’m not sure I could put words to the anger I feel toward him. And myself.”

  “Tessa, you have to know that getting abused wasn’t your fault. Right?” She looked at him a moment and nodded her head ever so slightly.

  “Logically, I know that. If another woman told me this story, I would tell her it wasn’t her fault. But when it comes to myself…”

  “You’re too hard on yourself. You did the best you could in a bad situation.”

  “Maybe, but I worry what people will think of me. They'll wonder why I was so weak that I couldn't break out of that house. They'll wonder what I did to deserve it.”

  “No, they won't, Tessa. He's a cop. He has a gun. You had a baby to protect. People will understand that and support you.”

  “What about your mother, Aaron? The woman lost her husband and raised five kids on her own. Don't you think that she would look at someone like me and wonder why they didn't have enough backbone to get out of that situation?”

  “Absolutely not. My mother would applaud you for making it through what you did, Tessa. She'd call you a wonderful mother and a strong woman who waited until the time was right and made a bold move to take her life back. She'd call you a survivor, Tessa.”

  “Maybe, but look where my life is, Aaron. I’m hiding out in a nasty camper with my little boy and a very rambunctious dog. I’m r
elying on help from strangers. I have no money, no gas to get anywhere, no extra food. Yeah, I’m quite the catch.”

  “Tessa…” he started to say, but he was interrupted by the ringing of his phone. Their eyes locked for a moment as if both of them knew that there was no turning back. Chances were good that either Addison or Stan were on the other end of that phone. “Hello?” Aaron said as he carefully pulled his phone from his pocket.

  Tessa sat and listened to one end of the conversation. She could hear a man’s voice on the other end, but she couldn’t hear what he was saying.

  “Okay. Well, listen, it’s really important that you keep your eyes on him. If he moves, you call me immediately. Day or night, okay? No, we’re not involving the police yet. And don’t tell my mother or anyone else. The less everyone knows, the better. Thanks, man.” Aaron hung up the phone and put it back in his pocket.