What Hope Remembers

by Johnnie Alexander

  “I think Dani’s the expert. She knows a lot of the family stories.”

  “It’s her job.”

  “She seems to love it. She’s lucky to be doing what she loves.”

  “Do you enjoy working with AJ?”

  “I do.” Definitely much more than prison life. “I like the short commute too.”

  “What will you do once he runs out of projects?”

  “There’s plenty to do at the stables.” Only problem with that option was that it didn’t pay anything. “How about you? Did you finish all your painting?”

  “Every room.”

  “What’s your next project?”

  “The outside needs paint—”

  “Wait a minute,” he interrupted. “You’re not doing that, are you?”

  “I could if I put my mind to it,” she said indignantly. “But Brett and AJ have threatened to put me in time-out if I dare try.”

  “Time-out, huh?” Gabe chuckled, but inwardly he sighed with relief that she wasn’t going to attempt that job. What if she fell and broke her neck?

  “You would think I had two older brothers instead of just one.”

  And one too-protective, well, whatever he was to her.

  “Can’t blame them for looking out for you,” he said. “So what will you be doing instead?”

  “I’m not sure. I feel at loose ends now.”

  “It all goes back to what we were talking about before,” Gabe said. “Dani found a career that lets her do what she loves, and she’s great at it.”

  “While you and I are at a crossroads. Not sure which road to take or where they might lead us.”

  “And not knowing what roadblocks lay ahead.” Like how being a felon would affect his job prospects or whether Tess would be able to keep Whisper Lane. Driving the hay wagon back and forth from the creek had given him plenty of time to think about the future, but he still hadn’t come up with a plan. Somehow he felt like God was telling him to wait. But wait for what?

  Amy eyed Gabe behind the dark lenses of her sunglasses, wishing she could read him as easily as she read most men. Somehow he seemed able to thwart her efforts. His face was impassive, and yet she sensed the passion deep within him. He only needed to figure out how to channel it.

  If only she could be the one to help him do that. She squirmed on the seat. He didn’t need her assistance to integrate himself back into society. She was having enough trouble doing that herself. Besides, the people she knew, the friends she once had, weren’t the kind of people who would impress Gabe. He’d probably think they were selfish and ambitious for the wrong things. Just like her.

  But that wasn’t who she was anymore. Was it?

  She wasn’t even sure.

  “I wish I knew what I was passionate about,” she said.

  “I started to ask you what you would do if money wasn’t an issue. But money isn’t an issue for you, is it?”

  If only you knew.

  But she had to live that lie so Brett and AJ didn’t find out she’d squandered her inheritances. Three of them—from her parents, from Sully, and then from Gran.

  She couldn’t even figure out what had happened, though reckless investments and the time spent in the eating disorder clinics had played a major role.

  So had her lifestyle. Expensive vacations. New clothes on a whim. Giving to political campaigns and causes—some she believed in, some she didn’t. But that was how the game was played.

  “I enjoyed being a lobbyist,” she said. “At least for a while.”

  “But not anymore?”

  “No. I don’t want to go back.” She graced him with an engaging smile. “Your turn. Money is no object. What do you do?”

  “I’m not sure I should tell you.”

  “Why not?”

  “It might give you the wrong impression of me.”

  “I doubt that. Besides, how do you know what impression I have of you now?” she teased.

  “Good point.” He avoided answering by paying close attention to the horses’ route past a fallen tree. “I’d want to do this.”

  “What do you mean by ‘this’?”

  “Own horses. Give hayrides. I don’t know, I guess devote my time to something good and wholesome. Remind myself there are honest people in the world, and I can be part of their community. If they give me a chance.”

  “Are you finding that here?”

  “Your cousin is a good man. He’s welcomed me into his home, into his life. Added me to the softball team.” He paused, then glanced at her before looking away. “It feels good to belong to something like that. I’ve been without it since leaving my unit.”

  The sadness, the emptiness in his voice caused her heart to ache. Without realizing what she was doing, she tucked her arm into his and leaned her head against his shoulder. He glanced at her in surprise, but he didn’t seem to mind.

  “AJ is a good friend,” she said quietly. “I hope you’ll think of me as one too.”

  “I’d like that, Amy.”

  His soft-spoken words, the gentle way he said her name, seemed to loosen a long-buried stone within her heart. Right now, she’d give all the money she had left for this ride never to end. For this feeling of comfort and acceptance to never go away.

  As they neared the site of the old hunting cabin, Amy straightened. Gabe was sorry, but he understood. She wouldn’t want her brother to see her snuggling with a former con. He pulled up beside the hitching post.

  “Have you heard what they have planned for this site?” Gabe asked.

  “Brett told me Dani is trying to find an old log cabin to move back here,” Amy said. “I think they’re planning a trip to southern Ohio to look at two or three.”

  “I heard that too. They also plan to rebuild the tree house that was used as a lookout.”

  “Where Eliza Wyatt was hiding when she first saw Jeb Lassiter.”

  “You know that story?”

  “Elizabeth loves to tell it. She pretends to be Eliza and bribes Jonah to play Jeb.”

  “Bribes him how?”

  “Like giving up her turn at choosing our fun outing so he can. Playing the video game he wants to play. She’s a natural negotiator.”

  “You admire that about her.”Gabe jumped from the seat, then reached for Amy. She felt light—too light—as he lifted her from the wagon. He gave her a quick smile as her feet touched the ground.

  “I suppose I do.”

  After greeting Brett and Dani, Amy pulled Gabe to one side. “I take it you’ve already heard the spiel?”

  “Several times.”

  “Then why don’t we take a walk over to the creek?”

  “Sounds like a fine idea to me,” Gabe said, gesturing toward the overhanging willow. “Brett showed me his branch on the engagement tree earlier today. He sure is proud of it. But I guess you already know that.”

  “He’s mentioned it a couple of times.”

  Gabe caught her up short. “Wait a minute. He’s ‘mentioned it’? Does that mean . . . surely you’ve seen it.”

  “No, I haven’t.” She slid a strand of hair through her fingers, then crossed her arms. “This is only the second time I’ve been out here.”

  “So when we met here that day, that was the first?”

  “I came out to look at all the initials I’d heard so much about, but, well, I didn’t.”

  “I’m sorry I interrupted you—”

  “It wasn’t your fault,” she said quickly. “I wasn’t in the best of moods, so it’s probably a good thing you showed up.”

  “Is it because you don’t like Dani?”

  “Of course I like her.” Amy pushed her lips into a pouty frown. “She’s a very nice person.”

  “But?”

  “She blushes easily. And she’s definitely got a style like no one else’s, and sometimes she sticks that tiny size-six shoe in her mouth.”

  Gabe sensed Amy wasn’t used to being challenged. But he wasn’t going to let her off that easy. “Anything else?
”

  “She’s not the kind of woman I expected Brett to marry,” she said. “He’s changed, which is a good thing, but sometimes, oh, I don’t know.” She rubbed her arms as if to ward off a chill. But the sun-heated breezes weren’t frigid. “He changed so fast. I don’t know why I’m telling you all this.”

  “Maybe because you need someone to talk to.”

  “I’ve talked to plenty of therapists in the past few months.”

  “I’d rather you think of me as a friend.”

  “I don’t have a lot of those. Not close ones, anyway.”

  Gabe wanted to ask her about the guy he’d seen her with. Wasn’t he a close friend? Instead, he cradled her face in his palm. “You’ve got me.”

  21

  At Gabe’s touch, a thrill went up Amy’s spine and her pulse quickened. She was definitely attracted to the man despite her efforts to keep him at arm’s length. But in her world, attraction didn’t equate to friendship.

  Gabe was easy to talk to, though. She found herself saying things to him she’d never say to anyone else. As if she knew her words were safe with him.

  But some words could never be spoken or shared. He’d never understand how she could entrust her body but not her heart to other men. She didn’t understand it either, and the memories of her shallow affairs now sickened her.

  “Why don’t we take a look at that tree?” she said, giving him a tentative smile.

  He laced his fingers with hers, and Amy’s heart ached with longing for this moment to last forever.

  A perfect blue sky with the rays of the sun glancing off the sparkling water in the slow-moving creek. A peaceful lull with a handsome man who cared about who she was on the inside.

  With Gabe holding her hand, anything seemed possible. Even for someone like her.

  They ducked under the swaying fronds of the willow tree and stood close to each other beneath its slender limbs. Within the shade of the ancient tree, the world seemed to disappear. It was almost like they had left everyone else behind, and only the two of them existed in this special place where love had been declared for generations.

  Gabe examined the initials on the trunk, then pointed to a pair that had been carved a long time ago. J. L. + E. W.

  “These must be the first.” His voice was low, in keeping with the mystery of being enclosed within the willow’s fronds.

  “Jeb Lassiter and Eliza Wyatt,” she said softly. Jeb, the Confederate soldier who escaped from a prison camp in Columbus. Eliza, the young woman who hid him from her family while she nursed him back to health.

  Amy ran her hand along the trunk, past several of the carved sets of initials, and it was almost as if she could imagine the young couple standing on this soil, beneath these fronds, just as she and Gabe were doing. No wonder this tree meant so much to Shelby. Or that Brett wanted to be part of this legacy too, even if only through AJ.

  “I’m a little jealous of old Jeb,” Gabe said.

  “Why?”

  “He started something here.” Gabe traced the initials. “Eliza’s father may have built the brick house, but it’s been Lassiter land since Jeb and Eliza married. He raised a family here—the two of them together. Faced the future not knowing what it would hold for them. It couldn’t have been easy in the years following the war, given Jeb’s Southern heritage. But a hundred and fifty years later, he’s a respected family patriarch in this county’s history.”

  “And that’s what you want to be,” Amy said in a teasing voice. But she wasn’t really teasing.

  “I want my life to count for something. It doesn’t have to be anything that’s important to the world. But I want it to count for something to the people I’m closest to. Like Uncle Rusty was to me.”

  “I remember your uncle. He used to give me peppermints.”

  “He used them as a substitute for smoking.”

  “I didn’t know that.”

  “Like most men of his generation, smoking was what they did. After he quit, he always carried peppermints in his pocket.” Gabe chuckled. “One of the horses loved them too.”

  “I don’t really like them,” Amy said. “But I always ate the ones he gave me.”

  “Why?”

  “I’m not sure I could tell you that.” She tilted her head in thought. “I guess it was so he’d keep giving them to me. It was a little thing—kind of like what you said—but it meant something to me because it was a constant. I didn’t have too many of those.”

  “Neither did I. We moved around a lot when I was a kid.” He gave a sheepish grin. “Military brat, you know.”

  “That must have been hard.” At least she’d had Gran. The stability of living in one city.

  He tapped one of the two heart-shaped metal plaques hanging on the branches, apparently wanting to change the subject. Shelby + AJ was engraved on one, Dani + Brett on the other. “Why didn’t they just carve their initials too?”

  “Something about not damaging the tree.”

  “Are you planning to add your own name someday?”

  “I’m not a Lassiter. And so far I haven’t been invited.”

  “Guess you’ll have to find your own tree, then.”

  “I think I’d rather.”

  Footsteps rustled behind them, and Amy turned.

  “What are you two doing in there?” Brett asked. “We’ve already told all the stories we know to tell. Twice.”

  Amy looked sheepishly at Gabe. “We’re coming,” she said to Brett.

  They slipped between the fronds again, this time into the real world. The sun shone upon her skin, warming it. Funny, she hadn’t noticed the coolness within the branches of the tree. But she’d noticed a contentment that she hadn’t expected to feel. Even when Gabe pointed out AJ’s and Brett’s names, engraved with those of their brides, she hadn’t felt the discontent she’d expected. It’d been okay.

  She’d only been uneasy when he asked about her placing her own name on the tree. It wasn’t Shelby’s fault that the two of them weren’t closer friends. She’d made every effort to include Amy in the family get-togethers and to share her life.

  The problem was, Amy didn’t know how to be a friend. Only a competitor, a conniver, and a conqueror. That was what her job was all about, and she’d been good at her job until the very end.

  Gabe and Brett engaged in small talk while they walked back to the wagon. Then, as before, Gabe helped her up onto the bench. It may have been her imagination, but it seemed he let his hand press a little harder against her back, let it linger there a moment more than necessary.

  Not that she minded.

  After he climbed up beside her, she sat back and relaxed, enjoying his closeness. The way he joked with Brett, Dani, and the other passengers as they climbed into the back of the wagon among the bales of hay. His easy manner with the reins and his gentleness with the horses. The way his arm jostled hers as the wagon bounced along the pasture trail.

  He was a good man.

  How much she regretted that she wasn’t a good woman.

  Gabe unharnessed the horses and led them to the trailer. “No more trips today, fellas. You get to ride home.”

  After getting Abner and Casper settled, Gabe scanned the oval area next to the house. Most of the guests had gone, and those who’d stayed were busy with cleanup. He jogged over to where Paul Norris, who owned the farm east of Misty Willow, and AJ were folding the long tables.

  “Need a hand?”

  “Won’t say no,” Paul said. “I want to get these back to the church this evening.”

  “I’m on it.” Gabe set a table on its side, snapped shut the legs, then slid it into the back of Paul’s truck. Once all the tables were loaded, Paul slammed the tailgate shut.

  “Do you need help unloading?” Gabe asked.

  “Seth and I can take care of it. He’s around here somewhere.”

  “I think he’s around front with Jonah,” AJ said, then turned to Gabe. “Seth is Paul’s son. He’s an ag student at Ohio State.”
>
  “I met him on one of the hayrides. He talked about livestock genetics. Interesting young man.”

  “He’s a great linebacker too,” AJ said. “Our team had a rough season this past year without him there to lead our defense.”

  “They’ll do better this year,” Paul said. “Gabe, I’m looking to hire someone to help with the wheat harvest while Seth is on a mission trip. AJ said you might be interested.”

  “I told him you’re a hard worker,” AJ said. “You can pay me for that one later.”

  Gabe chuckled, then shifted to Paul. “I’d be glad for the work.”

  “Great. Could you start a week from Monday?”

  “I sure can.” Gabe extended his hand, and Paul shook it. “I really appreciate it.”

  “Don’t mention it. Now I need to round up my family.”

  After he left, Gabe and AJ retrieved drinks from a galvanized tub half full of melting ice, water bottles, and soda cans. They sat in a nearby glider, facing the stone circle.

  “Thanks for the recommendation,” Gabe said as he popped the tab. “When I came here, I didn’t think anyone would give me a chance. It’s nice to see I was wrong.”

  Truth be told, he’d dreaded being here today. Practically a stranger among people who’d known each other for years, some of them all of their lives. But driving the hay wagon had allowed him to get acquainted with only a few at a time. A handful of people, good friends of Tess’s, remembered him as a boy. Those had been the best trips back and forth to the creek, the ones where his passengers told stories about Rusty.

  The only trip he’d enjoyed more was the last one. With Amy sitting beside him, smiling that pretty smile that took his breath away, he hadn’t wanted the ride to end.

  Maybe that was how old Jeb felt—well, when he was young Jeb—and Eliza first smiled at him. The young soldier couldn’t have known that one day Eliza would be his wife. Everything seemed set against them. The country was in turmoil, he was an escaped prisoner, and they were on opposite sides of the fight.

  None of that seemed to matter to the young lovers. They had a bond that couldn’t be broken despite their differences. And they had prevailed.