“Good to know, but now isn’t the time for those conversations. If you want me by your side, I’m here. You’re my friend. Sometimes it feels as if our souls are intertwined. I don’t know what next week will bring, but you need your friends around you now, and I’m here.”
I opened my arms, she stepped into them, and I held her. I couldn’t show any weakness around the members of my pride, but for a few minutes, I let her support me and hold me. I remembered Tyson as a cub, as a boy. I remembered him with his first small pride, and then, eventually, when he was strong enough to take over the Atlanta Pride and establish meaningful territory. He’d raised Kane most of their lives, after their mother’s death. I’d stepped in to help when it was needed, but Tyson had grown up fast and he’d never let me down. My grief was a vice, squeezing my heart, threatening to rend it to pieces, and Kirsten’s energy helped me find the strength to survive the pain. She didn’t lessen my grief — only time could do that. Instead, she supported me. Held me. Stood strong for me and hurt right alongside me. She’d grown close to the brothers in Africa, and had spent some time with them since returning. She loved Tyson, too.
But she wasn’t just offering to stand by my side at his funeral. She was also offering to stand by my side at the funeral of a lion she’d never met.
“The plane leaves for Asheville in an hour. Too many of us are going for us to take the ’copter.”
She wore a long, flowing, hunter green skirt with a form fitting black-and-hunter silk blouse. It was both dressy and casual, but it fit her energy perfectly. Free and flowing, all natural, and yet dark. Kirsten was hurting because she’d lost people she cared about. Not only that, but people she cared about were grieving, and she hurt for them, too.
There’ve been times in my life I let my grief rule my decisions, but I wasn’t in danger of that on this day. I had been before she’d arrived, but no longer.
“You dressed for the funeral? You knew about it?”
She stepped back and met my gaze. “Yes, but only because Mordecai told me. You and I need to talk more, or text, or something. Are you going to invite me in, or should I meet you at the airport?”
I caressed her jawline and then cupped her chilled cheek in my warm palm. She might not be totally human anymore, but she still got cold like one. I hadn’t even felt the cool air, nor had I picked up on the fact she was cold until I touched her. I’d have scented that in a heartbeat before she became the Harlequin.
“You’re cold. RaeLynn built a fire earlier. Let’s get you into the living room.”
She took a step back. “Not just to warm me up. I don’t want to invite myself. If it’ll be better to meet you at the airport, I can do that. My car is plenty warm.”
I was screwing this up, but I wasn’t sure how to fix it. “I think I’m going to have to ask you to have some patience with me. I’m annoyed with myself for not picking up on the fact you were cold until I touched you. Between your new powers and my grief, let’s walk into this with the understanding that we might have some communication mishaps. Bottom line is that I want you by my side but I’d have never asked because...” I wasn’t sure how to finish the sentence. There were a dozen reasons I wouldn’t have asked.
“We’re both grieving,” I finally told her. “You know I don’t let myself become attached to many mortals. Tyson was like a son to me and my heart is broken not just because he’s gone, but also because Kane is like a son as well, and his heart is breaking while he tries to step up and take care of the Atlanta Pride.” I opened the door and walked her into the kitchen. “Cora’s in an even tougher spot. Randall’s shoes are going to be hard to fill, and I’m sure you’ve been by her side all day.”
“I have. The Homewood Pack now claims every pack formerly under Randall. Tens of thousands of wolves.”
“Rumor has it she’s planning to change some rules?”
She shrugged. Neither a confirmation nor a refutation. Part of me wanted to feel slighted, but it was Cora’s news, not Kirsten’s.
“Is Wednesday still here? Or is she already in Asheville?” she asked. Wednesday’s father had been killed, and it was his funeral we were about to attend.
“I sent her in the ’copter last night. Her brother has a small pride about an hour outside of town, and he’s brought them into town. I believe he intends to merge the prides and take over Asheville.”
RaeLynn walked into the kitchen and eyed Kirsten. I kept quiet. I needed to send RaeLynn to another pride, but I hadn’t been able to take the step while we were preparing for battle.
“It’s good you’re here,” she told Kirsten. “I wasn’t expecting you and I’m not sure I have anything suitable for you to eat already made. I apologize. We have potatoes and cheese. I’ll make something for you.”
Kirsten went to her and touched her arm. “Thank you for offering, but I ate before coming. Please don’t feel you need to make concessions for me. I’m good. Is there anything I can do for the pride? I don’t know how close you were to Tyson and Kane, or to Wednesday’s father.”
She looked to me, and I told Kirsten, “RaeLynn hasn’t been around other male lions enough to be close to them. I’ve been selfish with her. That needs to change.” I looked to my lead lioness and realized I really did need to make some changes. She was invaluable to me, but at what cost to her?
I’d miss her terribly, but if Kirsten was going to be standing at my side, it was only fair I send RaeLynn somewhere she could make her own life.
Kirsten
Wednesday’s father’s funeral nearly tore my heart out, and I didn’t even know him. He was obviously well loved, and I sobbed uncontrollably. So many people were grieving for him. So much pain the room.
Nathan ordered Wednesday to come home with us, and he brought another lioness and her cubs as well, with instructions that someone was to box up her belongings and bring them later. The cubs were Wednesday’s half-siblings, but I had a feeling they came back with us to make sure the new pride leader, Blake, didn’t hurt them. Lion society can be brutal, and I know the humans aren’t supposed to act like their animals in such matters, but it felt as if Nathan was making sure everyone was safe. So, the top lioness and her preschool-aged children came home with us on the plane.
I took note that Nathan ordered RaeLynn to help Blake several times. She clearly didn’t want to, but she’d never dare go against her king’s orders.
Our plane arrived back in Chattanooga a little after midnight. Nathan drove to the lionesses’ home, told me to sit tight in the passenger seat, and everyone went into the house. I was alone ten minutes, and he came out without any of the women.
“I’m sorry about that, but I’m glad I finally have you alone. I worried Blake wouldn’t do right by the kids. Plus, Wednesday adores her half-siblings, and I think having them here will be good for her.”
“Lions often kill the cubs when they take over a new pride.” I said it as a statement and not a question, but I hoped he’d give me an answer.
“I don’t think Blake would’ve killed them, but I’m also not convinced it would’ve been a healthy place for them to grow into adults.”
“Cora will be at the head of the pack tomorrow night. I can either be by her side as her mate, or in the audience. She’s told me she’s good either way, but it feels as if the wolves who aren’t local should see her leading without me. The Homewood wolves understand the connection, but the rest probably won’t, and I’m not sure they need to.” I took a breath. “Will you be okay standing with me and Mordecai? The three of us? Me in the middle, maybe even holding both of your hands, should there need to be handholding?”
“And if I’m not?”
Then I’d stand with Mordecai, but that sounded like a threat, and I was smart enough to know that would be bad. Nathan and I were on shaky ground to start with.
“Just answer the question, please. Either you’re okay with it or you aren’t. Decisions about what happens can’t be made until I have all the information needed.”
“A partial truth. Can Mother Nature lie?”
“I’m not Mother Nature.”
He sighed. “It feels as if my answer is important. My initial response was that I wasn’t okay with it, but I’m not sure that’s true. I told you we can work as a couple now because no one can expect monogamy from the Harlequin. In my mind, I expected I’d be your number one and the others would just be little physical flings, but I’m realizing that may not be the case.”
He drove in silence the rest of the way to his house, and didn’t speak again until the car was in park, but still running with the heater on.
“Yes. I’ll stand you with and Mordecai, but I’d like you to spend the night here.”
I shook my head, but he spoke before I could explain why I couldn’t stay.
“If you aren’t ready for sex, that’s fine. You’ve slept in a bed with me before without sex. I’ll behave.”
I shook my head again, and I swear a low roar came from his chest. Okay, more of a growl, but still.
“Then the guest bedroom you’ve slept in before. Please, Kirsten. Be here to have breakfast with me tomorrow morning.”
The Amakhosi doesn’t beg. Cats aren’t known for using the word please. This was the man, asking, and there was no way for me to turn him down.
“Mordecai won’t have sex with me because he says it’s important I stabilize my energy before I have sex with anyone of power. He says the first couple of people I have sex with should be of nominal power. If he has sex with me now, he worries it’ll forever flavor my energy signature, so people will think my power comes from him, and not from me.”
He traced a pattern on the steering wheel. “Makes sense. What do you think?”
“I think I’m not making any big decisions this week. Maybe not next week, either. However, it’s also important we put out the right message, and I think that means showing a united front. Me with both of you will probably get all kinds of rumors started, but they’ll be rumors showing we’re united, and I think that’s important.”
“Your scent today — I couldn’t tell if you’d had sex with Mordecai and you’re so powerful he didn’t effectively imprint on you, or if you’d just been in his arms a whole lot. I guess it’s the latter?”
“It is. If I sleep with both of you tonight, our scents will be just as confusing to others tomorrow.”
He rested his head on the headrest and closed his eyes. “Fuck, Kirsten. Do you have any idea what you’re asking?”
“I do, but look at it from another angle. Being so close to a war god can only elevate you, right? Besides, I’ll be between the two of you. Ya’ll don’t have to touch.”
“Can you get him on the phone?”
I called him and put my phone on speaker.
“I think he’s considering it,” I told Mordecai when he answered. “I’ll let the two of ya’ll talk. You’re on speaker.”
“I can come there, I can invite you to Olympus, we can go to Kirsten’s, or we can do this in a rented vacation cabin. You tell me what will make you the most comfortable.”
Nathan pushed his hair away from his face with a little shake of his head. “I told RaeLynn to begin training Wednesday and a few other lionesses to do her many jobs. I’ll be sending RaeLynn away in two to four weeks. You’re welcome here, but you should be prepared for my home to not run like the well-oiled machine I’m accustomed to.” He blew out a breath. “Having you here for breakfast might actually be enough of a departure to get them to stop thinking of themselves and do a good job, actually.”
“I’ll arrive at the end of your driveway momentarily.”
He disconnected, and I stared at Nathan. “You’re sending her away? You’ll break her heart!”
“It’ll heal. Blake has always been interested in her, but she’s been off limits. I’m sending her to him. He’ll do right by her.”
“Or what, you’ll rip his nuts off?”
He chuckled. “No, but you have the right idea. He won’t risk my wrath. I talked to him today and made the offer. He asked for a month to get his house in order so he can do right by her. I told him he may only have two weeks, and he said he’d make it work.” He turned to me. “It’s been kind of a forbidden love thing. Blake didn’t dare acknowledge his feelings, and I know RaeLynn felt something, but she wouldn’t even admit it to herself, because to do so would’ve meant she wasn’t faithful to me. The seed is there, I just need to give it permission to grow.”
“I was going to tell you not to send her away because you thought I wanted you to, but you aren’t, are you?”
“You’re going to have to be okay with the relationship I have with my lionesses. No one else is going to be as close to me as RaeLynn, but you have to know there’s an intimacy there, and if that’s going to be a problem, we won’t work.”
“And you have to know there’s going to be something between me and Mordecai. I don’t foresee having anything super serious with anyone else, and right now, I can’t imagine having sex with anyone but the two of you, but he’s kind of insisting, and since he was my advisor before he was my lover, I suppose I should listen.”
“Does it have to be in this realm? Maybe you need a few dalliances in your queendom?”
“I need to spend time with my military leaders, and I need to learn more about the first responders. I’m pretty sure I owe a huge feast to everyone who fought, and I know I need to sit down with the families who lost loved ones.” My turn to close my eyes and rest my head back. “Patrick and Briana lost too many people in their pack. So much loss. My heart is breaking.”
“I know. It’s hard. Victory came at a cost, but it could’ve been so much worse. We bury our dead, we honor them, we pick up the pieces, and we move forward.”
Chapter 4
Kirsten
I felt Mordecai approaching, and I opened my car door and got out. Nathan did the same, and I stepped a few feet towards the front of the car so I could look over the hood to tell him, “Today’s tears were nothing compared to what Tyson’s funeral is going to do to me. There’ll be nose blowing and red splotches. It isn’t going to be pretty. Tomorrow night, at Randall’s funeral, you can expect it to be worse.”
“What I believe she’s telling you,” Mordecai said as he walked to us, “is that if you need a stalwart woman by your side for Tyson’s funeral, you’ll probably want RaeLynn.”
Nathan gave me a look that told me I didn’t understand something important, and he told me, “The first time I fought with you, I was upset with Aaron for inviting a human woman into a supernatural fight. I thought he’d finally been well and truly pussy whipped.” He shook his head. “But then I saw you fight. This tiny little red-headed woman with a power signature I didn’t understand. You stood your ground against fucking demons, and you didn’t just send them back, you fried them. Killed them.” Another shake of his head, but with an exaggerated eyeroll this time. “And then when it was over, you fell into Aaron’s arms, a crying, quivering mass of female.”
I folded my arms over my chest and glared at him, but he only smiled and continued.
“By the third time I saw this happen, I realized there was strength in your tears. You give everything you have during battle. You become the warrior. There’s no fear or bravery, there’s only the woman fighting with everything she has. I don’t fall apart afterwards because I hold a sufficient amount back so I’m strong enough to keep from falling apart afterwards. I’m not strong enough to let anyone see me as weak. You’re stronger than all of us.”
I shook my head. I wanted to argue, but I wasn’t sure how. Finally, I asked, “So, what are you saying about tomorrow?”
“Your tears tomorrow will show your strength. Only the truly brave can show her weakness. Only the truly strong can allow people to see her properly grieve. Not everyone who cries is strong, but your tears can’t be mistaken for anything but a show of strength. If you’ll stand with me, I’d be honored.”
I was about to tell him I’d love to stand
with him when I felt a pull from Cora. I looked to Mordecai in question, but he hadn’t caught up with it yet. My phone rang, and I answered to Ranger.
“Someone’s challenging Cora. You should come.”
I looked to Nathan. “Wolf business. You probably shouldn’t come. I’ll try my best to come back when it’s over, but I can’t make promises.”
“I know. Go.”
I reached my hand towards Mordecai, he took it, and the next thing I knew, we were in the farmhouse. Mordecai stepped out the front door, and I followed. Cora stood with a dozen pack wolves behind her, facing off against at least three dozen wolves who’d arrived in ten SUVs and vans.
“You challenge me before the former Alpha has even been given back to the land?” Cora asked.
“You’re stalling,” the largest man in front of her said with an ugly sneer. “Scared, little girl?”
I walked into the group of wolves behind her, and Mordecai walked with me.
“Oh no. Your human and her pet god aren’t part of this. They can’t be here.”
I crossed my arms. “It’s my house. You want me gone? Remove me.”
“Your house? I thought I was standing on pack land?”
“Check the title, it’s public record. Cora and I own it together. We’re a set. You want me gone? Remove me. Fair warning though, I’m not a wolf, so I’m not restricted to all your wolfie rules.”
He looked at me a good ten seconds before he focused on Cora again. “I challenge you now.”
She shrugged. “You want to do it here, like a thug? Or can we at least do this in a field set aside for such things.”
“No energy tricks, bitch. We’ll do it here.”
“Fine, but once you come at me, it’s a to-the-death match. Tell me you understand, challenge me again formally, and then come at me. Otherwise, leave my land and let me sleep.”
You can’t interfere, Mordecai told me. Not even if she’s losing.
I know. She’s explained it. I can send her energy, and I can telepath, but unless the other side breaks the rules and sends more people in, I can’t physically help her.
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