by Lee Rose
She didn’t want to just fall in line with his plans either and pretend the last year, the pain, the agony hadn’t happened. He couldn’t waltz into town with a pretty apology and just pick up their relationship as if nothing happened.
“Okay. I can handle being friends I suppose.” She hoped she was telling the truth. She didn’t want to be his enemy, but at the same time, she didn’t just want to fall back where they left off either. He let out his breath as if he had been holding it. He kissed her knuckles and started his truck to take her back to her car. Noelle didn’t notice the scenery. She was lost in her thoughts. Even allowing him in a little was a dangerous path. Yet, she couldn’t deny the excitement that bubbled deep in her belly. Was she an addict? Even knowing the pain he brought, she still ached to be around him. She hoped this wasn’t a mistake.
* * * *
After she got home that evening, she decided to get her mind off things by doing some gardening. The smell of the roses and all the pretty colors of the wild flowers soothed her troubled thoughts. The activity always left her feeling calm. Her garden had become like an oasis to her. She spent many hours back here in the last few weeks. It was a quiet and peaceful place. Her colorful sanctuary. She had even bought a bench to sit on.
The large three-bedroom house was filled with good and bad memories, but it was all she knew, so it also gave her security. She had gotten rid of some of the old furniture throughout the years and put her own stamp to the house. She had been shocked to find her parents had insurance and left the house and money to her. She had used the money to open her store.
As she was digging up some weeds, she felt the hair on the back of her neck stick up. She looked around her yard and saw no one. The tall wooden fence didn’t allow her to see into her neighbor’s yard, but she still felt spooked. It was quiet, too quiet. This was the second time she felt this. Was she just being paranoid? The last couple of days had been a strain on her physically. Maybe that was all it was.
She stood up and took off her gardening gloves. Leaving everything there for tomorrow, she went inside to shower.
First, she made sure her doors and windows were locked. Hopefully she was just feeling unsettled because Chance was back and she had been in such an emotional turmoil in the last week. Willow Springs was a safe town. Nothing much ever happened here.
She went upstairs and got in the shower. Thoughts of Chance with her in the past invaded her mind despite her best efforts to not think of him. Her breasts felt swollen as she thought of the many times he had soaped his hands and washed every square inch of her body, starting with her breasts. Her nipples hardened into pointy tips, and she moaned as the soapy washcloth touched them. It would be so much better if Chance’s hands were caressing her. He was such an amazing lover, putting her pleasure first.
She loved getting on her knees and pleasuring him until he came in her mouth. Now her pussy felt achy and needy, too. His cock was thick and long, and she loved tasting him and loved having him inside of her body. It was pure heaven, and being without him was pure hell. Frustration built up inside her until she wanted to sob and pound her fists on the shower walls. She wanted to pick up the phone and ask if this new friendship came with benefits.
“Don’t be ridiculous, Noelle,” she muttered. “You don’t want him back. Remember he betrayed you.”
Her body just didn’t care. It wanted relief. And only one man could give it to her. The one man who had the power to destroy her soul. She went back down to the kitchen to pour herself a glass of wine. Hopefully it would relax her enough to fall asleep. Thinking of Chance was just too overwhelming and confusing.
She could handle his friendship without falling for his seductive charms again. She hoped she wasn’t lying about how confident she felt.
Chapter 4
Noelle sat behind the glass counter listening to the soft music playing over the radio. Quinn was off today, but the beginning of the week was always slow. She used the time to catch up on her orders. She had spent the weekend hoping she wouldn’t run into Chance as she ran errands. When she didn’t see him she felt slightly disappointed, even though it was contradictory to her thoughts. She hated the chaos that was her mind. Did she want another chance or did she want to move on alone? Her mind was a whirlwind of mixed thoughts.
She heard the bell above the door ring and turned around with her friendly smile. Keeping busy would help her not think about this friendship she had foolishly agreed to. “Good afternoon.”
She groaned internally when she recognized Hattie Jones. Hattie came in once or twice a week, mostly to gossip. Noelle knew that by now everyone knew Chance was back in town. She had been expecting this earlier. She took a breath in knowing Hattie was only here to pump her for information. Noelle had gone to high school with Hattie, but they had never been friends.
“Hello, Hattie. Nice day for shopping.” Noelle tried to stay polite. She greeted the brunette with her usual smile. If Hattie picked up any tension it would be all over town by noon that Noelle was stressed out.
“Oh yes. Devon promised to take me to that new seafood restaurant in Cole County. It’s a fancy place.” Hattie was married to the bank manager and liked to brag about the places he took her.
“Sounds nice,” Noelle told her. “We just got a new shipment in. I saw a lot of pretty evening dresses.”
Hattie started looking at the racks of clothes. Noelle went behind the counter and just waited.
“So I heard Chance Brooks was back in town,” Hattie said without looking up from the clothes rack. Her voice was casual, but Noelle knew she was just looking for any sign she had a run-in with Chance.
Noelle took a deep breath and injected politeness into her voice. “I saw him a few days ago.”
Hattie picked out a red dress and put it over her thin frame. “Devon loves me in red.”
Noelle stayed silent, pretending to straighten things up by the front register. She mentally counted to ten, and sure enough, Hattie snuck a peek at Noelle. “Are you back with him? I heard he is here to stay. His mother is over the moon. The word has spread.”
“No, we are not together.” Noelle felt angry by Hattie’s comment but forced herself to remain calm. She had learned to hide what she was feeling. She refused to give Hattie any cause for going around town spreading rumors. “What happened last fall is old news. If I see him I will be polite.”
“Good for you.” Hattie nodded with satisfaction. “That Carly was always too wild for her own good. She tried flirting with my Devon, but he put her in her place right away. Best to be firm right away, you know?”
Noelle knew what she was trying to say. Devon was a better man than Chance. Chance never put Carly in her place. Carly was always around flirting openly with him and many men. Noelle could have started an argument, but she forced herself to keep cool. All the old hurts and resentments came back up, and it felt as painful as yesterday.
When Hattie realized Noelle wasn’t going to react she went to the fitting room to try the dress on.
“It looks great on you, Hattie,” Noelle told her honestly when she came back out. Hattie was very tall and thin. The red dress looked good with her dark hair and tanned complexion.
Hattie examined herself in the large mirror on the wall, turning to the left and the right. “I love it. So classy, yet sexy. Devon will be thrilled.”
Hattie changed back into her own clothes and took the red dress to the counter for Noelle to ring her up. She dug into her purse for her wallet.
“I am glad you are over that soldier, Noelle. He would always be back and forth. God knows what kind of women they see in those faraway countries,” Hattie told her. “I heard from Edna Mae that Carly was all over town looking for Chance, but he hasn’t been seen. He must be hiding from her. She is a bit much chasing him like that.”
“Really?” Noelle acted disinterested, but she felt her heart clench with pain. So they didn’t know of his new job? Well she was not going to mention it. Hattie would know she
spent time talking with Chance. Then she would be sure to tell one of Carly’s friends.
She already rejected Chance’s idea to try again. What if he started dating Carly? Would she be able to handle it? She was already upset, and she didn’t know if the rumors were true. She hated the chaos his return caused. She had been living in a frozen state for six months. Now it was like her emotions were thawing out, and it hurt.
Hattie nodded with a gleam in her eye. She loved to gossip and took pleasure in being the first to know things. “That Carly will never settle down with one man. She has angered a lot of the married women in this town. I told Missy, Carly’s cousin, that Carly needed to stay away from the married men of this town.”
Noelle nodded and listened but kept her calm expression in place. She knew Carly liked married men, but she put more blame on the men for falling for her innocent act. She listened to Hattie’s gossip with just a nod of her head but not adding to it.
When Hattie finally left, Noelle let out her breath and sat on the stool behind the glass counter. She was expecting this and more, but it still hurt. Flashes of Chance and Carly wrapped in each other came to the front of her mind. She tried to breathe through the pain. She blinked back her tears refusing to let them out. She was afraid she might not control them. It would be humiliating for a customer to catch her sobbing.
How many people knew she had been pregnant and lost her baby? She went to the local hospital, but she had been out of it. She had been in pain and let the nurses take care of the details. What if Chance heard the rumors? Polly Brooks knew. She had stopped by the hospital to check on her. Noelle had sworn her to secrecy. What was the point of telling Chance when it was too late? She was angry with him, but she hadn’t wanted to mess with his concentration knowing what he did was dangerous.
Noelle wiped some tears off of her face. She did not want to fall back in that rabbit hole of grief. Getting involved with Chance would do just that. She already felt nauseated and agitated all over again. Maybe making a clean break with Chance was the wisest thing to do. Friendship could open doors to more, and that scared her. He was a temptation she should not give in to but was too weak to resist.
* * * *
Just as Noelle was about to close up shop that evening, Chance walked in the door. Noelle inwardly groaned. She had not stopped thinking about him all day since Hattie’s visit. Now her head was throbbing with tension. He looked so good in his army pants and black T-shirt. The shirt molded to his muscled chest, and she remembered how it felt to be held against that hard chest. Why was her body so attracted to this one man? Willow Springs was filled with eligible men. A few had asked her out, but she always said no. She wanted to say yes, but then fear filled her, and she rejected whoever asked.
He greeted her with a heart-stopping smile. She ignored the hunger in his eyes, sure it was reflected in her own eyes. That hunger led to destruction. She had to be strong and ignore how strong her own desire was.
“How’s it going, angel?” His voice was deep and gruff. It made her stomach do a few flip-flops.
She smiled back casually reminding herself she could not allow herself to believe in him again. She would only end up being disappointed. “A steady day. How about you?”
“Great. I have been busy all week with training, but I wanted to invite you to have dinner with me. We can go to Geno’s. I know you love their pizza.” He leaned against her counter. How many times had he come in here in the past with the same expression, expecting her to fall in with his wishes? She always had. Saying no had never occurred to her before. Her heart said yes, but her head said danger. She fought to keep her voice casual. They were friends. That was all. She kept any emotion out of her voice. “I would love to hear all about your new job but not tonight. I have been battling a migraine all day.”
He looked her over. She felt his eyes check out her pale pink skirt and her matching blouse. She had left a few buttons unbuttoned. She hated how her belly filled with heat and her nipples felt hard and needy, wanting his touch. All the lights in the store were off, but the sun was still bright, shining in through the windows. The radio was off, and it was silent. The sexual tension was thick.
“I will take a raincheck then. Want me to follow you home and make sure you’re okay?” He gave her a worried look. She had never been the type to get sick when she was dating him. He had caught a cold once, and he had been grumpy when she hadn’t caught it, too. She felt guilty about lying, but now she was starting to get a headache.
She grabbed her purse and walked with him toward the door. She needed to be away from him. He was like a drug she could not resist. He followed behind her, and she could feel the electricity between them as if it was a tangible thing you could touch.
“I’ll be okay. A nap will take care of it,” she assured him as she headed out and locked the door. He reached out and caressed her hair softly, and she wanted to melt against him. She loved when he just held her. It had made her feel like all was right with the world, but it hadn’t been. She had allowed herself to buy into the fantasy. She had to stand her ground she reminded herself for the thousandth time. She could not allow herself to be put in another position of getting hurt again. What if she didn’t have the strength to recover a second time? He had been back a week, and she was already battling her own emotions. It was too exhausting.
“If you get lonely call me,” he teased, kissing her forehead gently. She closed her eyes, savoring the feel of his lips on her skin. She yearned to have those lips on her mouth, but she made herself stay quiet.
She nodded in agreement and headed for her car. The streets were busy with people heading home for the evening. He walked her to her car and waved at Mr. Sanchez, who owned the hardware store next door. He was also closing up his store.
“Nice to see you back safe and sound, Chance,” Mr. Sanchez yelled out as he headed to his own car. Chance thanked him before looking back at Noelle.
“Tomorrow is my first day off. Will you have dinner with Mom and me? She wants to get to know you better.”
“Why? We’re just friends, Chance.” He had never invited her for dinner to his house before. She had picked him up once when his truck had been in the shop, but he never formally introduced her to his mom. Hopefully he didn’t know that Polly had visited her in the hospital. She felt the tension, and it made her headache worse. She rubbed her forehead.
“She knows I am trying to convince you to be more than my friend. I should have done this last year. For that, I am sorry.” He sounded remorseful but was it a case of a little too late? She wasn’t sure of anything anymore.
Noelle frowned, feeling conflicted on how to answer his simple invitation. “Chance—”
“Just say yes as my friend. No pressure.” His brown eyes were filled with sincerity.
She opened her mouth to make up an excuse, but she knew she needed to tell him about her pregnancy. Part of her wanted to delay it so she could have an excuse to keep in contact with him.
“Okay.” She gave in. She thought dinner at his house was better than being seen in town with him. The possibility of Carly showing up and making a scene still bothered her. She ignored the small voice in her head accusing her of wanting to spend any time with him.
“Six o’clock?” He looked happy with her answer.
She agreed, ignoring the excitement. This was not a date.
She would have Quinn close the store so she’d have time to get ready. He opened her car door for her, and she got in. She drove away from the store with mixed feelings.
Chapter 5
Noelle’s stomach fluttered with every step she took toward Polly’s cute, yellow house. The neighborhood was quiet and very shady, filled with many old trees. Polly planted colorful flowers along the walkway leading to the porch. Noelle took a deep breath and bravely walked up the steps. She knocked on the door, feeling her stomach do some flip-flops. She was feeling equal parts excitement and nervousness.
Chance answered the door, looking ha
ppy to see her. He had on a nice, short-sleeved, blue, dress shirt and khaki pants. She was glad now she had taken care with her appearance. Quinn assured her she looked good in her gold-and-white-polka-dot dress. A long gold chain added sparkle to her outfit. She had warned Noelle this could be a bad idea, but Noelle assured her she had control of the situation.
“You look beautiful, as always.” He leaned in and kissed her cheek and took a whiff. He placed a small tender kiss on her lips. “You also smell as exotic as I remember. Like roses.”
Noelle blushed and stepped into his home. He kept their fingers threaded together as if needing the contact with her. She should’ve pulled away, but it felt too good.
“Mmm. Something smells great.” Her eyes wandered around the living room. Everything looked unchanged. The house felt warm and cozy.
“I told Mom how crazy you were about mac ‘n cheese casserole. She also made fried chicken,” he announced. Noelle had no idea how to respond. This felt like more than friendship. A moment of panic almost made her head for the front door to escape.
Polly came out of the kitchen taking off her apron. Her gray hair was cut into a short, elegant bob. She had a wide smile on her face. “I am so glad to see you, Noelle. I love that dress.”
She gave Noelle a huge hug. Noelle smiled and returned the hug. “Thank you, Mrs. Brooks, and thank you for the dinner invitation. It smells wonderful.”
“Call me Polly. I hope we will be friends,” Polly told her, leading her to the dining room. The house was warm and cozy. Chance held her hand as they walked. She should pull away, but the simple contact calmed her nerves.