Clearwater Romance

by Marissa Dobson

  “Shh, it’s okay.” He repeated, and tucked the blanket around her.

  “I should have known better than to get involved with him, but I swear I didn’t know he was married…”

  He’d suspected who the father was. No way would that self-centered asshole admit any responsibility for the child, and he knew Tess would rather struggle than take him to court for child support. She wouldn’t want to give any rights to her child to that bastard. “Tess, it’s okay, just sleep.” He smoothed her hair away from her face, and she opened her eyes again. “I’ve got duty in a few hours. Stay in bed except for bathroom and meals. I’ll be back at four.”

  “I’ll be fine. Don’t worry…” Her words were cut off as sleep dragged her under again.

  Holding her hand, he stared at her, surprised by the regret that filled him. Regret that it wasn’t his child growing within her now, that it was someone else’s. Someone who’d never cherish Tessa the way he would. He almost lost his chance with her, because he couldn’t see past his career. He wouldn’t let that happen again. He had six days before his deployment and he vowed to convince Tessa she deserved more than what she had. She didn’t deserve to struggle as his mother had being a single mother, especially when he could provide for her, even if it was in name alone. This is my fault…all those years I’ve denied what is clearly still alive between us. Did my resolve of not wanting to leave a wife a widow drive her to these decisions? Maybe it’s time to retire from the Marines and man up for her.

  With fresh determination, he kissed her forehead. “I won’t let you down. I’ll always be here for you and your child.”

  * * *

  Tessa woke to the sun peeking around the curtains. She laid there a long moment, a hand on her stomach. A small padding flesh where just below her child grew. Her child. She still couldn’t get over that in six short months she’d be a mother, a single mother.

  She wanted to roll back over, and go back to sleep but her stomach had other plans. It rolled with each move she made. Taking a deep breath, as if that helped the nausea, she twisted to her side, letting her feet drop to the floor. The warm carpet tickled the underside of her feet.

  On the nightstand, she found a folded piece of paper with her name on it, and the filled prescription that the doctor provided.

  Tess,

  Follow the doctor’s orders and rest. There’s food in the fridge. I’ll be back around four with dinner…your favorite.

  That was her Cameron, all orders. Even if he could be a strict pain in the ass, she didn’t want to think of her life without him. He’d always been her rock. Somehow, he’d always known when she needed him, it didn’t matter if he was deployed to another country or just around the corner, he’d provided the support she needed to get through some of the toughest patches of her life.

  She grabbed one of those little red iron supplements the doctor prescribed and the prenatal vitamin, before she padded her way to the kitchen for a glass of water. The kitchen was one of the best parts of the apartment, they’d spent many hours there, her cooking while he sat at the bar watching her.

  Opening the double doors of the refrigerator, she found a plate with food, and a small note on top. Don’t forget to eat. As late as they’d gotten in, he couldn’t have managed more than three hours of sleep before reporting for duty. Yet he still found time to get her prescription filled, and prepared her a plate with food. Suddenly hungry she grabbed it, stripped off the clear wrap, and popped it in the microwave.

  Minutes later she sat at the bar with her heated meal, her thoughts turning back to the issue before her. Uncertainties weighed heavily on her shoulders, but she had to come up with some solution, the baby growing inside of her depended on it. Each bite of food felt like lead in her stomach. Still, she managed to eat half of the chicken breast, and all of the steamed broccoli before pushing the plate aside.

  Maybe I can find a job where I can work at home, resting. She grabbed the newspaper that Cameron must have tossed on the end table on his way out the door, and slowly made her way back to the bedroom. Fatigue already weighing down her limbs, each step harder than the last, she prayed her whole pregnancy wouldn’t be an uphill battle.

  * * *

  After depositing the takeout containers on the counter, Cameron went in search of Tessa. He found her in the middle of his king size bed fast sleep. He tossed the duffle bag he packed from her apartment on the floor and slipped out of his jacket, before closing the distance between them. He sat on the edge of the bed, slid the newspaper in her hands away. “Tess, wake up.”

  Her eyes fluttered open and confusion clouded her gaze, it seemed to take her a moment to realize where she was. “I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to fall asleep.”

  “Don’t. There’s no need to apologize you need the rest. Hungry? I brought food.” She nodded. “Let me just change and I’ll bring it in to you.”

  “No, not in bed. I’ll come out. You change; I’ll see you out there.” She didn’t bother to put on other clothes, the t-shirt he slipped onto her still in place as she slipped out the other side of bed.

  He watched her walk out of the bedroom, the gentle sway of her hips acted as a hypnotist chain drawing him in. Damn she looks good in my shirt.

  A changed occurred between them last night, and he couldn’t keep her out of his thoughts, and not all of them were strictly platonic. He wanted her—wanted to touch her, but he couldn’t—no wouldn’t—she meant too much to him.

  He needed to change before their food grew cold. He tried to pack away the thoughts of her naked under him. But the tautness in his body rebelled, and they wouldn’t fit back into that tiny box he kept them in. Swearing under his breath, he stripped out of his uniform. No, wanting Tessa filled him and wouldn’t be denied, because of his unrealistic beliefs.

  “Cam, are you coming?” Tessa called.

  “In a minute, go ahead and start.” He didn’t know why he even wasted his breath, he knew her better than he knew himself and there wasn’t a chance in hell she’d eat without him. She could be dying of starvation and still she’d wait for him to join her before she dug into the food.

  She was amazing, and deserved so much better than what he had to offer. For years he had half-hoped, half-despised the idea that she’d find someone and start the family she always wanted. Now, she’d get part of that wish, but he had wanted to see her with a safe man, a man that would love her and protect her as she deserved.

  He found Tessa sitting at his small dining table, their meals already dished out. “I would have got that, you’re supposed to be resting.”

  “I didn’t have to do much, just grabbed the plates, and silverware. I sat down to dish the stuff out. Even in my condition I think that’s on the approved list of things to do.” She chuckled. “Next you’ll want to spoon feed me…don’t you dare get any ideas.”

  “I’d never think of it.” His lips curled up into a smile. “Come on let’s eat while it’s still warm.” He sat down next to her and dug into his sweet and sour chicken and white rice. Chinese food was one of their favorites for an evening in. He looked over at her until she started to eat her chicken and broccoli.

  He stalled on small talk as they ate the rest of their dinner; he wasn’t sure what she would think of his plan. He spent most of the night and the day preoccupied, going over the possibilities of what the best way to deal with her situation. Finally, he decided on straightforward plan. She has to agree. It’s logical. It’s safe. He’d already put the necessary wheels in motion.

  “Since you’re done, why don’t you rest on the couch for a bit? We can put in a movie.” He cleared away the dishes, putting them in the dishwasher.

  “I know you have a lot to attend to before you deploy. If you just take me home I’ll be out of your hair.”

  “Just go rest on the couch. I’ll grab you a pillow and blanket so you’re comfortable, I’ll only be a second.” When she continued to stand by the table looking at him, he pointed to the couch. “Go.”

/>   Everything cleaned up, he returned with a pillow and the blue and white quilt his grandmother made him. He got her settled on the couch, tucked in and comfortable before he grabbed a beer and sat on the recliner facing her.

  “So what are we going to watch?” She snuggled down under the quilt.

  “Actually I want to discuss something with you first.” Never in his life had he been so nervous, not even in the worst battle moments of his career. His stomach protested the food. “Just hear me out before you answer.”

  “Okay.” Hesitation tightened her expression and her knuckles turned white where she fisted the quilt.

  “Marry me—”

  “What?” Her voice climbed and she stared at him.

  “I thought you said you’d hear me out.” He raised an eyebrow at her. When she remained quiet, he continued. “You’re going to need support over the next coming months. Right now, you’re unemployed, without benefits. The military provides great benefits for us and our families. You can use it to make sure you and your child are healthy. You can also take the time to go back to school, like you always wanted, and build a stable future for both of you.” Even saying the words he hated how they sounded, so cold and uncaring when everything in him burned. He wanted to help her, to see that they were both cared for, not out of some duty but out of love. He loved her, yet he couldn’t tell her that.

  Chapter Three

  Tessa leaned forward as if that would make the words clearer. She couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Cameron wanted to marry her. Is he out of his mind? I’m pregnant; everyone would think it’s his baby. “What?”

  “Tess, just what I said. My job is dangerous, I can’t change that and I can’t provide you with the security you deserve, I deploy, I’m gone…I can’t promise I’ll be back, but I can help you in other ways.” He caught her hand in his much larger one. “I’d like to tell you to take all the time you need, but I can’t. I deploy in a few days. We’ll need to do this quickly.”

  She tried to digest the words but it was like trying to swallow a brick. Cameron offered her a marriage of convenience, not something she ever wanted to hear from him. “Even if I were to say yes, you’re missing a key point. You’re about to deploy and I’m supposed to be on bed rest. That doesn’t change that part of the situation.”

  “Actually I’ve thought of that already. Do you remember Jordan Sheppard? We went to his wedding a few months ago.” She nodded, and he continued. “They have a bed and breakfast in Clearwater, Wyoming. As well as a couple beautiful cabins that sit behind it, lots of privacy to anyone who needs it. I’ve arranged for you to have one of the cabins until I’m home. There’s someone that comes in twice a week to clean, and Chloe cooks all the meals for the guests. You’ll have someone to help you while I’m away. I spoke with a friend of mine that’s a doctor at the base and under the circumstances, he believes you’d be safe to travel as long as you’re resting, but he wants to look you over, or we can visit your obstetrician if you’d prefer. Chloe has recommended a doctor in Clearwater, to see to you and the baby.” He rambled on, explaining all the arrangements he’d made in the last few hours.

  He squeezed her hand until she met his gaze again. “Just stay in Clearwater until the birth, then you can come back and stay here. You’ll be close to the military base, where there’s childcare, and support. But while I can’t watch over you let me know you’re in safe hands. Jordan was a fine Marine, I’d trust him with my life in battle, and I’d trust him and Chloe with you. They’ll be able to help you in ways I won’t be able to during your pregnancy. Tess you know neither one of us have anyone else, and you need someone right now. I’d give anything to be here, to help you through this time, but I can’t. I’m sorry.”

  She cupped his check, the five o’clock stubble rough against her fingertips. “I…I don’t know Cam. I wanted a marriage built on love, not out of convenience. This is my mess, I got myself into…you deserve better than this.” Tears filmed her vision, but she didn’t care. It was the truth, Cameron deserved better than to be tangled up in a mess she created. One day he’d see that he did want a wife and children of his own. She had always hoped he’d want her when that time came, but not like this. Not out of duty, or friendship.

  “My sweet Tess, I wanted so much more for you too. I wanted you to have the family that you always wanted, with the house and white picket fence, but right now, you must take the situation at hand. You need to provide for your unborn child and I can help…I want to help. If you want a divorce once the child’s born and you’re on your feet, I’ll give it to you. No questions asked but let me help you.” When she didn’t answer, he added. “You don’t have to answer now. Sleep on it.”

  Sleep, how does he expect me to sleep after that? She let her head fall back against the pillow, her thoughts running in circles. He put in a movie, before he relaxed back into his recliner with his beer in hand. She watched him out of the corner of her eye more than she watched the movie.

  Could she marry him if love wasn’t involved? If she had been asked that before she found out she was pregnant she would have said no. But now if it meant saving her unborn baby she would. Maybe this was an opportunity—to prove to him they could have a real relationship again. To prove to him that marriage wasn’t out of the question. He could have his career and her, too.

  * * *

  A movie and two beers later, Cameron sat watching Tessa sleep. Even in sleep, her face held a worried look, one he wished he could wipe away. He was still on edge, waiting for her answer. He hoped the answer would be yes, not because he didn’t see another option for her and her unborn baby, but because he wanted her as his. It was selfish and he knew it, but he had almost lost her and if the father had been anyone but that married son of a bitch, he might have.

  Damn it, I’m a selfish asshole. I want her all to myself, yet I can’t be the husband she deserves, or the father the baby needs. He hated himself for it, but the Marines were his life, and even if he wanted to turn into a family man the Marines owned his ass for another year. Could he really give up his career, the adventure and adrenaline? He never thought so before, but if anyone could convince him to become a civilian again it’s Tessa.

  He pushed the legs down on the recliner, quietly as not to wake her. He’d rather carry her into bed and feel her body against his, it was the closest he would allow himself to get. If they married, he’d need to keep himself in line more than ever. Bury his feelings and make sure they remained a tightly guarded secret.

  She looked up at him, the blue eyes drawing him down like the sea wanting to swallow its next victim. “What time is it?”

  “Almost midnight, I was going to carry you into bed so you could rest comfortably.”

  “I can walk.” She pushed back the quilt and rose. “There’s nothing wrong with my legs, I’m only pregnant.”

  “I didn’t want to wake you.” Against his better judgment, he followed her, and cupped her cheek. Her pale pink lips called to him, he wanted to kiss her but his restraint was better than to give into the calls of flesh. He let his hand drop away from her, and stepped back. “Get some rest. I don’t have duty tomorrow, so I’ll make us breakfast when you get up.”

  She nodded and walked away from him, down the hall to the master bedroom that he gave her. He’d crash on the couch again, instead of making up the guest bed. His gaze followed her, need hitting him like a sucker punch. His body demanded he follow her. Instead, he ordered himself to take a cold shower, hoping it would chase away the images of her naked against him, his shaft buried deep within her core.

  Chapter Four

  Tessa spent most of the night awake, tossing and turning as decisions plagued her. She stared at the warm grey walls for hours, snuggled deep under the comforter. Cameron’s scent surrounded her and offered comfort. It was sometime in the early morning hours when she made her decision. She slipped out of bed and made it across the room before there was a knock at the door.

  “Tess, may I come
in?” Cameron asked from the other side of the door.

  “Yes.” When he opened the door and stepped in, authority poured off him even in blue jeans, and a grey t-shirt that strained over the bulging muscles of his biceps. “I swear you have super human hearing.”

  He gave her a grin that made her weak in the knees. “You know I’m a light sleeper. I wanted to see if you wanted me to start breakfast.”

  “Umm give me twenty minutes, I want to shower first, and then I’ll help.” She headed towards the adjoining bathroom.

  “The doctor said only baths for the next week. He doesn’t want you standing for a shower while you’re supposed to be on bed rest.” He reminded her. “And don’t forget—can’t be too hot, so just a warm bath.”

  Damn it. He was right and she planned to follow the doctor’s orders completely. She wanted to make sure her child would be healthy. She hated baths, but she’d deal with it for as long as necessary. “Damn. Okay, I’ll take it later, baths always make me sleepy. Let me help with breakfast.”

  “Not happening. You can sit at the bar and keep me company, but no helping.” He turned on his heels and headed back to the kitchen, with her following.

  “Before, you start, let’s talk.” She grabbed his hand and tugged him toward the couch. Sitting she pulled her legs close to her, and wrapped her arms around them. Soon I won’t be able to do this, my stomach will get in the way. She smiled at the thought; still unable to believe in just a little over six months she’d be a mother. With her gaze glued to the floor, she broached the subject that was hanging in the air. “I considered your proposal…Cam I’m not sure this is fair to you…but if you’re serious then yes. Yes, I’ll marry you. You can help me give my child things I can’t otherwise, but most importantly it will give me a healthy baby. Somehow I’ll find a way to pay you back.”

  She felt the weight shift on the couch. He nudged her chin up and kissed her. The strong spicy hint of coffee overwhelmed her for a moment before she tasted him, pure and full of life. This was not like the kisses she shared with him all those years ago, no that boy had been replaced by a man. The stroke of his mouth on hers held a promise of desire. Enough to give her hope.