Chasing Jenna

by Micki Fredricks

  “Feel better?” he asked without turning around.

  “A little, I guess.” I said with hesitation. I took a quick sip of coffee and cleared my throat.

  “Listen Ryan, I don’t remember anything that happened after I got to the party, so instead of me asking questions, why don’t you just start from the beginning and tell me everything? Start with what day it is, because I have no idea how long I’ve been here.”

  He turned around with a blank look on his face as he pushed a plate of food in front of me. “It’s Wednesday.”

  Instantly, my mind started computing all the time and days I’d lost. “How can it be Wednesday? Have I slept that long? What about my classes and who knows I’m here? Did you tell Katie where I was? She probably has the FBI looking for me. What about Cale, does he know where I am? You better start spilling the story before I decide you’re some sort of freak and call the police myself. Even though I have no idea where I am … why I’m here … or how I got here.” My voice trailed off as I realized how much trouble I was in. I pushed the food away and sat back in my chair as I looked down at my hands. I took a deep breath. “Please, Ryan.”

  He pulled out the chair across from me and sat down. His stare bore into me, making me feel very small. “I’ll tell you what I know, but it’s limited. There are a lot of pieces that just don’t fit and some are missing altogether.”

  “Just start from the beginning, please.”

  Ryan started slowly, being very guarded with his words, fueling my anxiety into anger. “You’re not going to like some of the things I’m going to tell you.” He said

  “I’m a big girl. Just tell me so I can start figuring this out.”

  “Listen, Jenna, it doesn’t work that way. I have to tell you all the pieces so you can help me put it all together. We have to work together on this. So just listen to me, and after I’m all done, you can ask as many questions as you want.”

  “Fine.” I sat back in my seat with a frustrated growl, trying to hide the fact I was scared to death to hear what he had to say.

  “After you and Katie got to the party, we …” he pointed between him and I, “got into an argument.”

  I searched my memory, but it wasn’t there. I looked at him suspiciously. There was a reason I’d lost my memory and he needed to get to the point.

  “Cale got involved and, I’m so sorry Jenna … I’m sorry for everything. I need to fix this but I don’t know how.”

  “Don’t. Don’t do this now. We need to put everything that’s happened between us to the side right now. At least until you tell me why you’ve kidnapped me and brought me to live in the ghetto.” I tried a small smile, but it didn’t happen.

  “Okay. Well, after you and I had our argument, Cale got involved.” My heart rate picked up speed, but still, I had no memories. “He and I got into a fight at the party and then he took you away.”

  “You mean we left together?”

  “No, I mean he forcefully took you out of the party.”

  I shook my head slowly at him, unsure of what he was saying.

  “You were hysterical and trying to push through the crowd to get to me, but he grabbed you around the waist and basically forced you out the door.” He twisted his hands together, obviously still bothered by what happened.

  “So after everything settled down, I made Katie and Marcus take me to look for you, but we couldn’t find you anywhere.”

  I sat very still, hanging on his every word. My leg shook involuntarily, I didn’t know why.

  “I went to the house and demanded Cale tell me where you were. He said the two of you had argued, you left, and that was the last he’d seen of you. I looked for you Jenna, all night, all day Sunday. I didn’t sleep, I didn’t go to class – I never stopped looking.”

  His chair made a horrible noise as he slid it across the old linoleum floor so he could sit in front of me. He reached out and placed one hand on my trembling leg, the other he wrapped around my hands.

  “Finally, Monday night I went back to the house. I hoped there was a clue to where you were and if he didn’t want to tell me, well, I was going to destroy the place until he did. I snuck in, hoping to get a look around Cale’s bedroom. Nolan was inside talking to him, so I listened outside of the door.” He paused, frowning at the memory.

  “They were talking about Katie. All I could hear were bits and pieces. Something about what they said really bothered me – they said Quinn was going over that night to ‘try again’.”

  “Try again? Try to do what?” I asked.

  “I don’t know. But something about the way Nolan said it made my skin crawl, so I kept listening. They started talking about my brother – wondering how much trouble he was going to give them when he got back. The next topic was you. Cale said you were in the basement and the timing was perfect.”

  “Timing for what?” I asked, knowing he probably didn’t have the answer.

  “I told you I don’t know all the pieces.”

  I took a deep breath and shook my head. “This doesn’t make any sense. I don’t remember any of it.”

  “First Years are not allowed in the basement of the house so I didn’t know my way around, but I had to get to you. It’s like a maze down there. It took me awhile, but that’s where I found you.”

  “What do you mean … found me?”

  “You were in a room in the basement, a bedroom.” He leaned back into his chair, staring at both of his hands that he had placed in his lap. He curled them into fists.

  Fear flared inside of me. “Go on,” I urged.

  “You were naked.”

  My mouth went dry and my head started spinning. “What?” I asked in a whisper, “Why?”

  “I don’t know, but I don’t think anything had happened to you. I knew if I left you there, you were in danger, so I wrapped you in a blanket and brought you here.”

  I couldn’t speak. I sat dazed as I let his words sink in.

  Panic rose quickly within me and I was on my feet, pacing back and forth in the little space. Questions started spilling out, “Who was in the house? Where was Cale and why was I naked? I stopped, looking at him for something … anything.

  “What is going on?” I screamed.

  Ryan’s stare never left his hands as I went on my emotional rampage. I rushed toward him.

  “Ryan!” I yelled. “Answer me!” He lifted his eyes until they met mine. “I don’t know any of the answers.”

  My body fell back into the chair and I slumped down from defeat. I couldn’t look at him but I had one more question.

  “How do you know nothing happened to me?”

  He was careful when he answered, using a soft tone, “I found unused condoms by the bed.”

  A flash of what he must have seen when he walked into the room slammed into my head like a wrecking ball. The idea of him seeing me so vulnerable and knowing what he saved me from was overwhelming. I lay my face in my hands and started to shake.

  Instantly his strong arms were around me again. I turned toward him, using him as a shelter from the reality of what he was telling me. He picked me up and I held on like a child. He gently placed me on the bed and climbed in behind me. I turned toward him to find the security he always provided. I rested my head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat. He covered me with the blanket and let me cry.

  He’d kept his word – he’d save me from the monsters.

  “What are we going to do?” I asked.

  “They’re looking for you.”

  “Who, the police? Maybe we should go talk with them.”

  He shook his head. “No, The Brothers are looking for you.” His eyes were intense, he was nervous – and it scared me.

  “Why would they all be looking for me?”

  “I have a feeling there were others involved in what was planned for you – more than just Cale and Nolan.” He sat up and dropped his feet over the edge of the bed. I shuddered at the word “planned” but knew he was right. Whatever happened to
me was definitely planned out.

  “Why me?” I asked softly.

  Shaking his head he responded “I don’t know. That’s what we have to find out.”

  “We need some answers. We have to fill in the blanks before someone else gets hurt.”

  All of a sudden the panic was back, like a hammer in my chest. I jumped up and yelled “Katie! Ryan, what have they done to Katie?”

  All I wanted to do was scream, but I couldn’t get the air in. I scrambled around the room, looking for shoes. “Get up! We have to go get her now!”

  “Jenna,” Ryan said in a very low but solid voice. “We have to be careful. We can’t just go running back to your dorm room and expect to go unnoticed.”

  “But Katie,” my voice was shaking, just like every other part of my body. I knew I had to save her – I didn’t know from what, but only that I had to.

  “Yes, we’ll go get her tonight, but we have to have a plan too.“

  I went back over to the table and turned the chair to face the bed where Ryan was still sitting.

  “You’re right, but I have some questions for you.”

  “That’s fine, but I also need some answers from you too.”

  “Me first.” I said with no room for argument. “First of all, where are we? Whose apartment is this?”

  “It’s mine. We are downtown in an area you should never be in alone. I rented it under a false name – not that anyone in this neighborhood gives their real name.” He hesitated but then started again. “Remember when I asked you to leave everything and come away with me? This was supposed to be where we stayed for a few weeks until things calmed down. That’s why I have all of your stuff in the bathroom. I’ve been stashing things here for the last two months. No one would’ve looked for us here. My brother doesn’t even know I have it.” As he admitted the last part, he dropped his head. I could tell that he felt shame for hiding this from Marcus.

  “Where is he?”

  “I don’t know. He, Katie and I decided he still needed to go on the trip the elders had planned for him. We all knew something wasn’t right, but Marcus thought we should try to keep up the act until we found you. That’s why Katie didn’t come here with us. They decided she should stay in the dorms like she normally would.”

  “They decided?”

  “I didn’t care about any of that, Jen; I just wanted to find you. I let them make all the decisions while I searched for you. Now, It’s my turn.” He hesitated, confliction darkening his face. His question was lost in the silence between us– silence can be so loud at times.

  “We need to make a plan.” I said as I stood and grabbed a bag from the floor. I ran around the room gathering items I thought we might need. A flash light that sat on the floor by the stove, paper and a pen I’d seen next to the TV.

  Ryan stood in the middle of the room with a distant look on his face. I turned and looked at him.

  “Ryan, we have to go get Katie,” I said quietly.

  “I know,” He said but didn’t move. I put the bag on the floor.

  I prepared myself for what I was about to tell him. “Do you remember when you said I was already Cale’s?” His jaw tightened.

  “From the moment I met you in that crowded hallway, I belonged to you. My friend – my savior – my only love.” I placed my hand over his heart, he covered it with his.

  “There was never any room for Cale. It’s always been you – it will always be you.”

  >CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE<

  The smooth cement blocks felt cold under the palms of my hands as I slid along the wall toward my dorm room. Almost uncontrollably, my eyes roamed the entrances at either end of the hallway.

  Back and forth I scanned, expecting to see the shadow of someone crouched and ready to attack. The lights were dimmed because of the late hour, and I prayed everyone was asleep.

  From my spot down the hall, I could see the moonlight stretching out from under my room door. I stood, paralyzed with fear. Part of me wanted to rush to Katie and make sure she was not hurt. The other part realized Ryan and I had no idea what we were dealing with. Whatever she had been through would be my fault – I wasn’t sure I could handle that. I could just turn and run, go back home, and tell my mom things just didn’t work out. I could pretend I’d never met Katie or Ryan and go back to my old life, never allowing myself to think of Cale or this place again.

  But Ryan stood behind me; I could feel the warmth of his body. I looked over my shoulder and he motioned to the door, questioning me with his eyes. I knew it was dangerous for us to be standing out in the hallway like this. I had no choice – I kept moving.

  I stood terrified, staring at my door. I could feel the heaviness of the truth on the other side. My hands trembled. Ryan took the key from me, slipped it into the lock and cracked the door open.

  The room was still and dark. He slowly opened the door, the light broke through the darkness like it was searching for something – and there she was.

  She shielded her eyes from the light. I gasped at the sight of her. I’d seen people depressed before, but Katie was almost unrecognizable. Her face was pale and sunken in, because sunshine was not available in the dark place her mind had gone. I moved slowly toward her. All the color had drained out of her once beautiful and dramatic eyes – they were vacant.

  She sat on the couch with her back against the arm rest, legs straight out and arms just hanging uselessly at her sides. Her breathing was slow, deep and deliberate – as if it was almost impossible for her body to remember how to perform this act. It looked excruciating – and familiar. I knew exactly how she felt, but Ryan had been there to help me wake up – Katie had been all alone.

  I went to her, first sitting on the edge of the couch. When she did not object, I moved closer whispering her name, hoping she would show some type of recognition.

  “Katie, it’s me,” I whispered as I lightly touched her leg. As soon as I did, she jumped to the corner of the couch and pulled her knees to her chest. Tears sprung to my eyes, as she cowered like a beaten animal. She held onto herself tightly. I couldn’t tell if it was to protect her from more pain getting in, or if she was trying to make sure her last bit of sanity didn’t escape out. With her eyes wide and breathing rapidly through her open mouth, she rocked back and forth attempting to soothe herself.

  I looked at Ryan, hoping he had an idea. His face was pale and filled with terror. I thought for a second he might be in shock.

  “Katie, I know something terrible has happened to you and I want to help you.” She stopped rocking. Hope surged through me – maybe she was ready to listen now.

  “Katie, I don’t know why this happened to you, but it almost happened to me too. We need you to help us figure this all out. We can’t let this happen anymore.”

  The sound of her voice was a whisper of what it once had been, but it startled me anyway. “

  “Training is not fun, training is not fun. No training for you.” She started rocking again, only with more frustration.

  “Who trained you Katie? What were they training you for? Who did this to you?”

  “Quinn, Quinn is the trainer.” She winced as she said his name and buried her face in her knees. “Quinn.” She whispered again. I didn’t have to look at Ryan to know he had picked up a bag and was stuffing clothes of mine into it.

  I moved closer to her and extended my hand. “Katie we are going to take you with us. Come on and get some of your things. I won’t let Quinn hurt you anymore.” She stopped rocking and looked at my extended hand like she was unsure what to do with it. Her eyes met mine and she spoke as her mind had suddenly cleared.

  “They are going to kill you, Jenna. Why did you have to run? Now they’re going to kill you.” Ryan stopped what he was doing and stared at Katie. Her eyes faded back to the darkness. She was no longer talking to me; she was talking at me when she said calmly. “He’ll be here soon. They’ll kill us both if he knows you were here.”

  A knock on the door echoed through
the room. Katie’s expression exploded into fear and panic. I grabbed her arm and tried to pull her up. Ryan was already at the window, throwing my bag to the ground.

  “Katie! Get up!” I was begging her. “Please come with us! You don’t have to stay.” She stood and stared in the direction of the door, as the voice on the other side said her name. It was Quinn.

  Slowly she turned her head to me and whispered. “Go, or he will kill us all.”

  I shook my head wildly, “No, I won’t leave you.” I whispered, tears running down my face. She was like a robot as she walked toward the door. I knew what she was doing – what she was willing to endure to keep me safe. I couldn’t leave her – not like this. She had to come with us.

  Ryan grabbed my arm and started pulling me toward the window. “Katie, we’ll be back for you tomorrow night – be ready.” Ryan whispered.

  She whispered, “Tell Marcus, I love him.”

  Ryan pushed me out onto the fire escape. I fought to get back into the room. I wanted to fight for Katie, and fight for myself, but I knew she was right. Quinn was prepared to kill us all. The best thing I could do for her now was stay alive. We would come back and get her tomorrow and the three of us would run together.

  Ryan jumped out of the window and joined me on the fire escape. I was still looking to Katie, waiting for that one little hint she’d changed her mind, but she never looked back at me. She just continued to the door.

  Tears poured down my face while agony consumed my entire body. I knew what Katie had just sacrificed to keep me safe, and I could not bear the thought of what she was going through. As we got to the bottom of the fire escape, Ryan jumped off, turned and lowered me to the ground. We ran around the building until we were safely under the cover of darkness.

  I dropped to my knees, my stomach retching.

  “I know you’re terrified for her right now, but we can’t stay here waiting for them to find us.” He grabbed my hand and led me through backyards and allies. We didn’t talk as we ran along holding hands. I knew if he wasn’t leading me, I would crumble into a ball and let whatever was going to happen to me, happen. But once again – he was saving me.