From This Moment

by Lexi Buchanan

  What the hell is his problem?

  “Why don’t we go inside, it’s warmer in there,” I add when I notice Susan shiver, rubbing her arms.

  Back inside, we hang our jackets up and before I can get Cade alone, he’s in the kitchen pouring everyone coffee.

  I feel awkward, as though I’m a total stranger to everyone in the kitchen, not a nice feeling.

  Cade passes Susan and Bill their coffee, and then turns to me. His eyes widen as though he wasn’t aware I’m in the room with them. “Oh Rona, I didn’t know you were here with us. Would you like a coffee?”

  I glare at him, speechless.

  “Here, Rona.” Jake passes me a cup filled to the brim. “Not all Matthews men are without manners.”

  He briefly squeezes my arm, offering support while I shoot him a wry smile.

  I never thought Cade would treat me the way he is doing. It’s as though I’m a passing thought. He told me that he wouldn’t fight what was happening between us anymore, yet here he is completely ignoring me after the most amazing afternoon and evening of my life. I can understand him not wanting to tell them about us, because of his daughters, and Janice was their daughter, but that is no reason to ignore me.

  Feeling close to tears with his treatment, I glance over to Jake and notice the worry on his face when he meets my gaze. Turning away, I look to Cade who is chatting with Susan and Bill in the kitchen, while I stand outside the group feeling like an intruder.

  My tears are fast approaching so I take a nervous breath and say, “If you’ll excuse me, I have something to do.” I turn toward the stairs and make my escape wondering what the hell I’m going to do now. Does Cade regret everything that has happened between us? And what about the words of love for me that he’s spoken? He’s certainly old enough to not throw those words out just to get into my panties.

  As soon as I get to my room, I slam the door making sure it rattles on its hinges, and lock it for the first time since being here. Sliding down the door in tears, I rest my head on my knees and cry my heart out until there are no tears left in me.

  Eventually, after what feels like hours, but is probably about twenty minutes, I manage to drag myself up off the floor and head to the bathroom to clean up.

  Feeling completely drained and used, I lie on the bed wondering what the hell has happened between now and yesterday. I can’t come up with anything.

  Hearing someone knocking on the door, I ignore it, even when I realize it’s Jake outside. A while later, I hear the door again. A glance at the clock reveals I’ve been locked in my room for about an hour. This time it’s Cade, and I ignore him too.

  “Rona, open the door please. You need to eat.”

  Then a minute later, he shouts again, “Rona, sweetheart. Please open the door. We need to talk.”

  My vision goes red at the word. Sweetheart! Really? I wasn’t his sweetheart an hour ago. Climbing off the bed, I charge the door and yank it open. “Don’t call me sweetheart. You lost that right when you ignored me. If you don’t mind, I’ll stay tonight, and ask Jake about other accommodation, as you obviously don’t want me here anymore.”

  Tears are falling down my face. I can’t stay around here if he’s changed his mind about us because it’ll hurt too much. I’m not a machine. I have feelings.

  “God, I’m sorry,” Cade says, looking rather pale and red around the eyes.

  “Sorry for fucking me?” I shout.

  Cade winces.

  I continue, “Sorry for leaving my bed while I was asleep? Sorry for ignoring me? Sorry for being ashamed of me or sorry for making me feel used?”

  Collapsing on the sofa by the window, Cade looks up at me with tears on his cheeks. “I’m sorry for how I acted this morning. I’m sorry for leaving you in bed. I only did because it was so early. I’m sorry for how I treated you when I got back to the house. I love you and I don’t want you to leave. Please don’t leave me.”

  I’m weakening at his words, but I need to stay strong. “Cade, nobody ever hurt me as much as you did downstairs. I trusted you and gave you my heart. Right now, I feel as though it’s been torn to shreds. I know we’ve not told Anna and Beth yet, so I didn’t expect you to explain about us, but you couldn’t even bring me into the conversation with you. You didn’t even offer me coffee. I felt unwelcome.” Openly crying now, I look at Cade who still has tears on his face.

  “Cade, why?” I manage to ask.

  “Let me try and explain. I love you so much it scares the crap out of me. Janice was Susan and Bill’s only child. I’m not sure how they would react to me finally having someone living with me who I want to share my life with. I also didn’t want to give anything away because I know Susan and she would have been on the phone to Anna straightaway. I just panicked and royally screwed up. I’m so damn sorry, Rona.”

  Cade walks over to where I’m sitting on the bed, and crouches down before taking hold of my hands. Sincerity shines in his eyes as he says, “I’m sorrier than you’ll ever know for this morning and how I behaved. I love you with all my heart and I was terrified that our whole relationship would blow up in our faces.” He puts his head in my lap and curls his arms around my waist.

  Stroking his head, I feel him shudder. With my hand in his hair, I think about what he’s said and because I love him so much, I try to accept what he’s told me.

  “Cade, I love you. I’ll stay.”

  He lifts his head from my lap to look at me.

  “But if you treat me like that ever again, I really will leave. And as soon as Anna and Beth know, I have no intention of hiding our relationship.”

  Joining Cade on my knees, I kiss him.

  “I promise that won’t happen again. I just panicked and my plan backfired.”

  “Yes, it did.”

  After holding each other for a short time, my knees start to ache just as my stomach lets out a loud grumble.

  We laugh.

  “C’mon let’s clean up and head downstairs. I’m kind of hungry now.” I smile.

  Standing, Cade pulls me up with him and holds his arms out to me. I move into them for a hug. “I love you,” he vows.

  “I love you, too.”

  Cade

  My knees practically give out on me as I enter my room to clean up. Just making it to my bed, I sit down with my head in my hands.

  I try to wipe my tears away, but they just keep coming. I feel empty inside. I nearly lost the only woman I’ve ever loved, because I was stupid and scared of everyone’s reaction to us.

  I’ve certainly learned my lesson, that’s for sure.

  I’m not sure how long I’ve been sitting here feeling sorry for myself, but the next thing I know, Rona is standing in the doorway.

  “Cade, can I come in?”

  “Yes, you don’t need to ask.” I hold my hand out to her.

  As she takes my hand, she just stands and looks like she’s unsure what to do. My heat twists at the realization, I’ve done this to her. I’ve made her question our relationship, which has only just begun.

  Looking up at her, I say the only thing I can. “I’m so sorry sweetheart.”

  Moving closer, she sits on my lap before putting one arm around my shoulders and her other hand to my face. “Cade, I love you.” She places small kisses all over my face. “C’mon, let’s go eat and then get some fresh air on the horses so I can take some winter pictures. Have I told you how much I love the snow?”

  She has me smiling now. Her fun for the snow is infectious. “All right, give me a few minutes to clean up.”

  “No chance, I’m not letting you out of my sight again.” Rising from my lap, she takes my hand and leads me into the bathroom. After wetting a washcloth she wipes my face, following it with kisses. I lean into her hand and close my eyes at the pure pleasure. Despite being older than her, and more experienced, I’ve never experienced this—someone who loves me enough to take care of me.

  “I don’t deserve you,” I say to her when she’s finished.

/>   “Yes, you do.”

  Tossing the washcloth over her shoulder, she takes my hand and with a slight tug gets me moving with her downstairs.

  In the kitchen, we find Jake making a mountain of sandwiches.

  He looks up at us. “Is everything cool?”

  “Yes, it is now. Thanks Jake.” Rona grins at him. “At least I know where you get it from!”

  This makes Jake laugh, but I haven’t a clue what she means.

  “Idiocy is obviously hereditary in this family,” she says.

  The ringing phone interrupts our laughter.

  “Rona, would you mind getting that?”

  “Yeah, okay.” Rona runs to answer the phone.

  “Why does Rona think you’re an idiot?”

  “I’m not an idiot, Elise is,” he replies, leaving the room.

  Oh, so that’s it, woman trouble. I should have known.

  “Jake, wait up.” Rona shouts, dashing back into the kitchen. “Elise is stuck in the snow on her way here.”

  “What the hell is she doing out in this? Shit! She knows better than to be driving around in her car.” Jake looks mad and worried as he paces a hole in the floor.

  “Jake, she’s on her way here to you. Apparently she needs to be with you,” Rona say’s.

  This stops him dead in his tracks.

  “Jake, did you hear Rona?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Listen, you need to go to her now!” Rona suddenly shouts, tears of distress in her eyes, “I don’t know what happened exactly, but you have to get to her before Tom does. He hit her, Jake. She wouldn’t say why but she sounds destroyed.”

  I find myself grinding my teeth and I’m tempted to go hunt the bastard down myself. Looking at my son, he looks ready to go hunting as well—the two-legged kind of prey.

  “Go get your girl, and don’t screw it up. She needs you to be there for her, not to go off half-cocked. Do you understand me?” Rona tries to get through to Jake.

  “Yes, I heard. I’ll go look after her now, but that bastard is going to pay.” With that he stomps out of the house, only a slight limp noticeable.

  Chapter 16

  Elise

  Freezing my ass off with a face ready to explode and a pounding headache isn’t what I planned on today.

  Jake left really early after a call from his grandparents, so I’d curled up in bed for some much needed sleep. The night had been amazing, especially since he’d woken me twice to make love to me again. I wasn’t expecting to see him again so soon.

  Hearing a truck tearing around the mountain road, my heart pounds in panic and I search around frantically for some type of weapon to protect me. All I can see is the snowbrush; it isn’t much, but it’ll work. As I clutch the long brush to my chest, I realize the truck is coming from the opposite direction than where Tom would be coming from.

  Jake breaks sharp, which causes his truck to jackknife across the road. He only just manages to keep it on the damn road. What the hell is he thinking?

  Dashing across to where he’s come to a stop in the bad visibility, I reach him just as he jumps out of his truck.

  “What the hell was that?” I’m screaming and shoving him with my hand. He scared the hell out of me.

  “What?”

  “Don’t what me. I’ve only just got you back, and I’d appreciate you not trying to kill yourself in front of me.” I burst into tears. It’s all too much.

  “Fuck, Elise.” Jake pulls me into his arms. “I have no intention of killing myself. I was worried about you and wanted to get to you before the fucker does.”

  Jake puts me away from him, but cradles my cheeks in his large hands. His face tightens when he sees the swelling to my cheekbone. My eye feels as though I’ve been stabbed with red-hot needles.

  “This is my fault,” he hisses.

  “What? No way is it your fault. You didn’t hit me, Jake.”

  He shakes his head. “Let’s get you warmed up.”

  He lifts me into his truck and follows me inside. “You’re far enough off the road. But damn it Elise, that car of yours isn’t for this weather.”

  “I didn’t have much choice.”

  Sitting back in the seat, I let the heat do its job of thawing me out some. All I want is some Tylenol and to sleep off the pain. I suppose I can hope I won’t feel as bad in the morning.

  “Will you tell me what happened?” Jake asks me with his fists clenching on the steering wheel.

  “I already told you I’d broke up with him over the phone. I hadn’t planned to do it that way, over the phone, but he just pissed me off ordering me around. So I blurted it out. I guess he left for my house as soon as he’d hung up on me. He found me climbing naked from my bed with your semen dried on my thighs.”

  Jake cusses under his breath and bashes his fist against the dash. “Go on,” he mutters.

  “He was so angry. I didn’t know to do so I ran into the bathroom and locked the door just as he banged into it. I grabbed some clothes from the hamper in there and got dressed. I never leave my boots in the bathroom, but I did last night. I was just putting my foot in my last boot when he broke the door down.”

  I shudder at the memory. Gone was the sweet, harmless man I’d agreed to marry and in his place was a cruel monster. His eyes had shone with jealousy and he looked ready to kill me. My voice cracks as I continue, “He . . . he grabbed me by my hair and tugged me. He said lots of vile things about you and me, and then he swung and hit me. I think he figured I was out of it because he let me go.”

  I swipe at a tear. “I think he went to the kitchen, but I didn’t go look. I grabbed my jacket from the chair in my room and climbed through the window. I’m just so glad that I keep my keys in the car.”

  “So am I.”

  For the first time since I started to tell my story, I glance at Jake. He looks really angry.

  “Jake?”

  “No one puts his hands on you and gets away with it, Elise. If you hadn’t gotten away when you did, what the fuck would he have done?”

  “I can’t think about that.”

  I start crying when it hits me just how lucky I am to have escaped Tom when I did.

  Jake

  Fuck!

  I’m an idiot. The thought of that bastard with his hands on her makes me see red, and it obviously short-circuited the wire from my brain to my mouth. If it wasn’t for the damn blizzard going on outside the truck, I’d be pulling over and hauling her into my lap, but that’s going to have to wait for now.

  Instead, I opt for nudging her with my shoulder. “Elise, c’mon babe. I’m sorry I brought that up, but, well, can you try and put a hold on the tears until I can as least hold you? Because you’re killing me right now.”

  She pauses and then starts laughing.

  I wasn’t expecting the laughter.

  “Sorry,” she giggles, making me smile. “You want me to stop crying until we reach somewhere that you can stop and comfort me, do I have that right?”

  “Well, yes. This road is crazy at the minute and we only have another five minutes until we’re at the house.”

  “Jake, you’re nuts, but I love you anyway.” She leans over me and kisses me on my cheek. “Thank you for taking my mind off everything.”

  I feel her eyes on me as she settles more comfortably in her seat. '“Don’t you ever drive like that again, Jake. Promise me.”

  “I really frightened you? That wasn’t my intention.”

  “I realize that, but nevertheless you did.”

  “I’m sorry, and I promise to try and not kill myself in your presence again.”

  I don’t see her because my eyes are glued to the road ahead, but I’ll bet she’s rolling her eyes. At least for now her mind is distracted.

  “I’m glad you’re here.” She leans against my arm and stays there.

  Having Elise so close is what I’ve dreamed about for so long, since I left for Paris Island really, and I don’t know what the hell I would do if I lost her
now. She’s in my blood to stay, and I’ll protect her with my life. One of these days soon, I’m going to make sure I have a run in with Tom. I have a feeling using his fists on Elise isn’t going to be enough to keep him behind bars, once he gets there. He’ll probably get off with some damn community service.

  “Jake, what are you thinking?”

  I quickly glance at Elise with a frown.

  “Your hands tensed on the wheel.”

  Sighing, I turn back to the road, noticing the snow is heavier the closer to the house we get.

  “We’ll talk back at the house so at least I can hold you. I need to hold you, Elise.”

  She accepts my answer.

  We both stay silent as the house comes into view. The snow is whipping around like crazy and I’m relieved to see the lights have been switched on at the front of the house. All I need to do is to try and judge where the garden starts to leave the truck.

  Normally, I’d pull into the garage, but chances are I’d hit something trying to get to it as visibility is getting worse and all I can see is white. It’s safer parking outside.

  I jump out of the truck and turn back to lift her down. Taking her hand, I pull her into me, and wrapping my arm around her shoulders, I guide her to the front door before ushering her inside and slamming the door shut behind us. I glance over to Elise and start laughing. She looks like a snowman. I probably look just as bad.

  Elise grins at me, but it turns into a wince as she reaches for her face. I come back to earth with a bang.

  Quickly shucking my outer things, I toss them onto one of the coat hooks and walk over to Elise. Slowly unzipping her jacket, I peel it down her arms and with a gentle kiss to her uninjured cheek, I pull off her snow-covered hat.

  Her gear stored next to mine, I caress along her jaw and slip my hand to the back of her neck to pull her closer to me. With my other hand, I reach up and gently caress the swollen side of her face. Elise slides both her arms around me and snuggles into my chest.

  I wrap myself around her.

  She’s my woman to protect and I let her down. That won’t be happening again. He’ll have to go through me to get to her. I wish I could promise she won’t see him again, but I’m not too sure that’s going to happen. Right now we need to get the police involved.