Love Me Always (I Hate You...I Think)

by Davis, Anna

  "Well, it usually takes more than that to get you drunk. You ain't a light weight that's for sure." Those words stirred inside of me. I wasn't a lightweight. That means I drank a lot before I lost my memory, and that didn't settle well with me. I wasn't an alcoholic was I?

  Shoving that thought as far from my mind as possible I grabbed the first shot and downed it. I cringed and gagged. Ever clear. That was strong alcohol. And it took more than five shots to get me drunk before? Ignoring that thought, I grabbed the next shot and downed it. It was horrible, like drinking rubbing alcohol. Next shot.

  "Ever, I think that's enough. I don't think your tolerance is what it was before," Oliver says.

  Quickly I grab the fourth one downing it before he can stop me. I wasn't even buzzing yet. "Come on," I told him grabbing his hand. He reached over downing my last shot and gave Jet a look before following me to the middle of the crowd. Oliver spun me around. That's the last thing I remember.

  ~And Love Said No~

  ~Oliver~ Ever was so beautiful. She spun around pressing her back against my chest. Her hair was cascading down her shoulders, brushing the strawberry red colored locks aside; I softly kissed her scarred shoulder. I had no idea how much I had missed her until now. My arms were wrapped firmly around her waist as kissed up her neck. It took me a moment to realize she was frozen still.

  "Ever?" I asked unsure. Abruptly she pulled away and spun looking at me in shock. Mentally I cursed myself. She hasn't regained her memory and I probably just freaked her out.

  "Sorry," I muttered running my hands through my hair in frustration. I wanted to hold her so bad I couldn't stand it but she wasn't ready for that yet. I needed to take it slow. Without saying a word, she moved to walk pass me. Holding out my arm, I blocked her path.

  "Ever, I know you don't remember me. I'm sorry I didn't mean to freak you out."

  She shook her head stepping back out of my reach, "I just need a drink.”

  She headed through the crowd toward the bar before I could stop her. Following closely behind I got to the bar before Jet could hand her another drink. Clamping my hand over the top of hers, I pushed the shot glass back on to the counter top.

  "Ever, you're already wasted. You don't need anymore," I told her giving the glass back to Jet.

  "I can drink what I want," she slurred glaring at me. "I'm a big girl. I can make choices on my own. I'm not even a little bit drunk."

  "Not right now you can't. You're slurring your words. Ever clear makes you drunk before you even know it."

  She flared her nose. I would have laughed at how cute she looked angry if it had been any other time.

  She snapped her head to Jet. "I want my drink, Jet." Jet frowned. "Sorry Ever. If Oliver thinks you need to stop then you're not getting any more alcohol."

  Ever looked like she was ready to explode or stomp her foot. It was very unlike her, so I knew she was far more wasted then she let on.

  She rounded on me now. "I don't know you, Oliver, and I don't have to take orders from you." "You do when you're in my warehouse," I frowned. I needed to be firm with her. She was acting childish with the alcohol in her system.

  "Then I'll leave," crossing her arms she started to storm off. I caught her in my arms pulling her to my chest.

  "Let me go."

  "No. Not in the condition, you're in. I'll take you home."

  "I want to go to my apartment."

  "I'm taking you to my house to keep an eye on you," I started to pull her toward the exit.

  "No," she leaned all of her weight away from me. "Ever, you're making a scene," I whispered pressing my mouth to her ear. She really was making a scene more and more of the gang turned to watch.

  "I don't care. You don't own me, Oliver. I want to get drunk. I want to party. Just leave me alone," she squirmed trying to break loose of my grip.

  "Everlyn, you want to get drunk?" I scowled looking down at her. "I remember clearly you telling me you don't want to ever be like you're mother. I never knew her but I'd say you are acting like her."

  Ever stood stock still looking down at the floor for a moment. She looked up at me with her large green eyes. They were wet around the edges. Loosening my grip on her, I frowned. I didn't want to make her cry. Dammit that was the last thing I wanted. In the blink of an eye, Ever's hand snapped back and she open hand slapped me hard across the face. My head jerked to the side. A collective gasp echoed through the warehouse.

  Turning my head, I saw the pain written all over her face. She was torn. She had meant to slap me for what I said but a part of her hurt more inside than that slap had hurt me. Grabbing her upper arm, I took her out of the room away from all the prying eyes. She followed obediently without a word. Not looking back once, I took her up the stairs toward my office. She sniffed, it made my heart hurt that I had made her cry.

  Shoving open my office door, Jake and Taylor, who had been sitting in the middle of the floor jerked back. Clearly they had been kissing, or about to anyways. Taylor's cheeks went dark red.

  "Err...hey," Jake said awkwardly looking away from Taylor. "I need to talk with Ever in private," I told him. He nodded standing and offered his hand to Taylor.

  "We'll uh be outside if you need us," Jake said. He ushered Taylor out. She was looking at Ever unsure but followed Jake anyways. Once the door shut, I released Ever's arm. She just stood there for a moment then suddenly burst into tears. Gathering her up in my arms, I held her and rocked her. Sinking to the floor, I pulled her into my lap.

  I rubbed her back gently. Neither one of us spoke she just sobbed into my shoulder. Even though I hated to see her cry, I couldn't have been more happy to have her in my arms. She wanted me to hold her. Even if she didn't know me, she wanted me to comfort her. Her tiny thin arms were wrapped tightly around my neck and her head was buried against my shoulder. She clung to me for dear life.

  "Ever?" I asked once her tears and sobs had slowed. Drawing her head back, she looked away not wanting to meet my eyes. Lifting her chin, I wiped a few stray tears from her soft cheek with my thumb.

  "I just need time” she said her voice breaking. "I need space." My heart torn in half at those words but I nodded. If this is, what she needed then I would respect that.

  "What can I do?" I asked softly brushing her hair away. She grabbed my hand and stopped me but didn't release it. Pulling my arm to her chest, she just held me.

  "I want to go back to my apartment. I want to try and piece everything back together on my own."

  I opened my mouth but nothing came out. I was at a loss for words. For over a month I have wanted nothing more to be with her, to hold her, to have her love. In addition, all she wanted was to be as far away from me as possible. I shook my head trying to clear that thought out. She just needs time.

  "Ok. We'll move your stuff back to your apartment," I spoke calmly, even though a raging storm was ripping me apart inside.

  "Oliver," she whispered looking into my eyes. "I'm sorry. I just-"

  "Need space. I understand," I lied.

  ~Ever~ I felt as though my heart just ripped in half. I watched Oliver sadly as Jake pulled away from the warehouse. Taylor was sitting in the passenger seat looking back at me not saying a word. Oliver watched us until we were out of sight. I'll never forget the look on his face when I told him I wanted to move back to my apartment. It was as if I had stabbed him in the back. He looked so hurt.

  "You alright, hunny?" Taylor asked.

  Looking up at her, she smiled.

  "Yeah," I muttered. I knew she didn't believe me, I didn't believe me.

  Jake looked in the rear view mirror at me. "So your apartment?"

  I nodded. "Well, I'm going to have to pick the lock. When you got attacked in the junk yard the first time you lost your keys."

  I stared at him into the rear view mirror at his reflection feeling sick. I didn't want to hear anything else about the memories I didn't have anymore. It only made me angry and bitter.

  "So what's Leon going to s
ay when he finds out about you two?" I asked trying to lighten the mood.

  Taylor's cheeks went deep red and she glanced at Jake.

  "Thanks, Ever," Jake grumbled. He was trying and failing at not smiling.

  "You know. Maybe you need a girl’s night out?" Taylor spoke changing the subject again.

  "That would be nice, eh?" Jake offered.

  "Yeah, I guess."

  "Well, you, me, Kimmy, and Angie could all go out to the club or something?"

  "No," I told her quickly. "Not the one here."

  "Oh-" she frowned, "Well isn't there one in the city?"

  "Yeah," I nodded. "We could go there?" Jake pulled his eyebrows together. He didn't like that idea I could tell but he didn't say anything.

  "So...Ever?" Jake grinned.

  I raised my eyebrow at him. "What?" "Since you're all awesome and my favorite sister and all you should let me and Taylor stay over."

  "Jake," Taylor hissed smacking him in the arm.

  He grunted. "What's with all you violent girls? What happened to nice and sweet?"

  Taylor and I scoffed at the same time then laughed. I really like this Taylor, I thought smiling.

  "Of course you can but no sex," I warned. Taylor paled shaking her head while Jake laughed.

  ~Dear Agony~

  I was sitting in the dark of my bedroom. It was silent and cold, but it was fitting to how I felt. I was in the middle of the bed with my legs folded under me just staring at the wall. I had been sitting here for a few hours now, and finally stopped crying.

  My heart hurt worse than any pain I have ever felt in my life. I don't remember getting shot but I do remember the pain when I woke in the hospital. The infections and even struggling to walk for week after could compare to how I felt right now, empty, confused, and miserable. I missed him.

  A man I know almost nothing about I missed with every fiber of my being. I no longer dreamed hell I hardly slept. My body and soul yearned for him. I longed for his touch. I sob escaped my lips and I laid my face in my hands. Why can't I remember?

  The doorbell rang startling me. Glancing at the clock confused my eyes widened. It was Saturday night. It was girl's night out.

  Jumping up I grabbed the hem of my shirt and scrubbed my face quickly. I knew my eyes were puffy and I looked like a wreck. I opened the door on the second ring. Kimmy was standing in the doorway with a grin on her face, it dropped instantly when she seen me.

  "Oh Ever," she whispered wrapping her arms around me tightly. Taylor and another girl who I assumed was Angie followed her in.

  "Why is it so dark in here?" Taylor asked finding the light switch. I blinked as the light flooded the room. "Have you even left the house at all since the night of the party?" Kimmy asked pulling back pressing her lips into a firm line.

  "Let's not talk about it. I just want to party and have fun," I smiled. The smile felt so fake it hurt my cheeks. Kimmy didn't look convinced but said nothing.

  Taylor stepped forward throwing her arm over my shoulder, "Cheer up girly. We're going to have some fun. This is Angela by the way," Taylor pointed at the very pretty girl with light brownish blonde hair.

  Angie grinned at me and waved. She held up some bags in her hands, "I come bearing gifts.”

  "This is going to be great," Taylor smiled reassuringly and patted my back. We spend two hours getting ready. The four of us were wedged in my tiny bathroom. We were laughing and chatting, it was nice. Taylor had flung some powder on Kimmy by accident which turned in to a full out fight. My bathroom floor was now covered in white powder. Thankfully, none of us had our dresses on yet and were able to clean up quickly. Maybe a girls night out was exactly what I needed.

  "Everyone got everything?" Kimmy asked dropping her cell phone into her clutch. I smoothed out my silky black dress and nodded. Angie's dress was green, Taylor's white, and Kimmy had on a cute one shoulder grey dress that flowed when she walked.

  There was a nice red sports car sitting outside, Kimmy went straight to it once we stepped into the chilly night air.

  "Who's car is this?" I asked shivering; I hadn't counted on the December air being so cold. "It's one of the gang cars. Jake said we could use it," Taylor told me climbing into the back.

  "So Angie are you going to college at SU with Taylor and Kimmy next semester?" She turned around to look back at me. "Yep," she smiled. "I've wanted to come to California for a long time. When Taylor said she was coming here to be close to Leon I thought I'd come along and go to school here too."

  "Yeppers, we've been best friends since kindergarten," Taylor added. "Me and Ever have been too. We grew up in the city so we know our way around pretty good."

  "Jet and Tyler are your brother’s right?" Angie asked. "Yeah, they are a handful," Kimmy sighed frowning. "I don't know what I'm going to do with those to," she grumbled shaking her head.

  "So Ever?" Taylor asked as Kimmy and Angie kept talking. "Hmm?" "You won't tell Leon about me and Jake will you?" She asked biting the inside of her mouth.

  "Why don't you want him to know?" I laughed, as her cheeks got darker.

  "Well Leon is like really over protective." I shook my head before she was finished. "I might not remember my time with Jake or Leon before but I can tell you that Leon will be happier for you to be with Jake then someone else. Jake is a great guy."

  "He is," she agreed.

  "Trust me when I say Leon won't care at all that you're with him."

  She said nothing, just nodded. Entering the city the whole atmosphere changed. I had missed this place so much. It seemed like a life time since I had been here. My stomach clinched thinking of the fact that I would never see my mom again. Even in her drunken stupor.

  The city was beautiful. The sun had already set and the bright lights, honking horns and smell of the city brought a smile to my face.

  Kimmy found a parking lot to leave the car about two blocks from the club. The walk down the main strip was longer than usual as we had to weave through people. Even though it was annoying at times, I loved how the city never seemed to sleep.

  The flashing neon sign beckoned us forward. Club Envy took up a large portion of the street and rose high above our heads. It was an upper class expensive place. I had never been before but had always wanted to. The music blasted out onto the street that was crowded with patrons ready to enter.

  I groaned. The line wrapped around the block it looked like.

  "We're going to be here forever," Taylor frowned. "Maybe we should try another club?" I offered trying to think of a better one. There were tons but none as good as this one.

  "Alex told me that a little bribe would get us in quick. That and have you seen how hot we look?" She popped out her hip throwing her hair over her shoulder. It caused us to laugh.

  "Well work your magic then. If it don't work we'll go somewhere else," Angie said looking over the line again with a frown.

  We followed Kimmy pass the line straight to the front. I felt self-conscious as people stared. Could they see my scars? Tugging at the hem of my dress, I made sure my legs were covered as much as possible.

  Stepping in front of the main doors, four men were standing there guarding the entrance. Kimmy placed her hands on her hips and smiled at them. For a moment, I seen the Kimmy I remember, the one that hit on every guy she came in contact with. The men looked up at us and Kimmy motioned for one to step forward. When he did, she took the collar of his shirt pulling him to her and whispered in his ear. A smile started on his face and grew into a grin, he pulled back and laughed.

  I was however not paying attention. I was currently locked in a staring match with a boy with blonde hair. He stood with the bouncers but I knew he wasn't one of them. He had a very expensive black suit and a silk red tie. His blonde hair was spiked and he refused to look away from me. For some reason I couldn't break eye contact either. He tilted his head slightly confused. I knew him. How? Who was he? Where have I seen him before?

  The bouncer's booming laughter startled
me and I looked away. He was still grinning at Kimmy.

  "Sorry sweetheart, you girls are going to have to do better than that to get in here," he looked down Kimmy's body taking in her legs.

  "Marshall, let them in," the boy spoke. His voice was firm and it reminded me of the way Oliver talked to his gang. Marshall unclipped the neon green rope without a word and let us pass.

  We looked at each other and stepped forward much to the dislike of the people who had been waiting in line for probably hours. As we passed the blonde haired boy, he smirked seductively. It would have worked on any other girl but I didn't find it appealing, Oliver's smirk was far more hot. I startled myself by that thought. When had I seen Oliver smirk?

  "Welcome ladies to Club Envy," he spoke opening the doors for us. The music was so vibrating it almost swept me off my feet. The techno was deafening. It went right through me, my heart picked up and my whole body twitched.

  He held out his elbow for me to take. Glancing at Kimmy, who didn't seem to look happy at ALL, I took his arm and let him guide me through the crowd. Taylor took my hand and Angie's trying to keep us together.

  Kimmy followed right on the boy's heels with her arms crossed and lips pursed. It was a bit comical, that was always the look I gave to the men Kimmy dated when they want to "get to know" her.

  "Have I met you before?" he asked looking down at me.

  "Not sure. You seem familiar but if I knew you I don't know."

  He pulled his eyes together confused. "She has amnesia," Angie offered seeing the look. Taylor elbowed her. Angie just shrugged. I didn't blame her for telling him though. She didn't know the feeling I had being near him. She had no idea how panicked I was. I didn't even know why I was feeling this way.

  "Hmm" he remarked thoughtfully. "Maybe I'm thinking of someone else," he smiled. I didn't particularly like the look in his eyes though.

  "But, since you're here now, I'm going to treat you girls to the best," he smirked nodding his head forward. Looking up I seen we were nearing a roped off staircase that was guarded.