Cowboys in Charge

by Starla Kaye

  He stopped in the entry, reached for his coat, and strained to listen for sounds of his wife coming after him. He hoped with all his heart that she’d come flying down the hall to tell him she’d changed her mind.

  But she didn’t come. All he heard was the muffled sound of her crying. Even though leaving was her decision, clearly it wasn’t easy for her. This was upsetting her as much as it was him.

  Tugging on the coat, he battled down the desire to go back to her and beg her to stay. He could stop disciplining her, although it was something he truly believed in. Not hurting her, just helping her with some behavior issues she had sometimes. He hadn’t understood that she was really against it. She’d never said as much, other than she felt she was too old to be spanked. But what woman didn’t say that when she was about to get her butt roasted?

  He snagged his hat from a hook and planted it on his head. Still, he didn’t think her occasional trips over his knee were the real problem. He should go back and face her about what was going on in her head. Maybe if he understood how she felt… But after her shocking announcement to leave him, his own emotions were irrational right now. He was afraid he would push her too far, make it worse, if that was possible.

  His stomach knotted with unease. He didn’t want to lose the only woman he would ever love. She’d been so young, only nineteen, when they’d married. She’d dated some, but they’d fallen head-first in love almost from the moment they’d met. At least he had. She’d told him that she had, too, but maybe she hadn’t really. That didn’t matter. They’d been happy together…at least he’d thought they had.

  He rubbed at the headache now adding to his misery. Maybe she’d matured enough now to realize she might have missed something before getting married. Maybe she needed more independence, although he thought he gave it to her. He watched over her, yes, tried to guide her, protect her, and support her. She had a mind of her own and he liked that. But at times she had problems with being too stubborn, with keeping things from him…like whatever was going on between her and his family. He needed to deal with that, but not today.

  For now, he had to let her do what she thought was necessary. He had a feeling if he tried to stop her from leaving, he might really lose her. He had to let her go, had to figure out a way to make it right with her. He would, God help him.

  * * * *

  Nicole sat across from her sisters-in-law in Stanford’s only real restaurant. Since it was the middle of the morning and snow was starting to fall there weren’t many other customers. She hadn’t seen either Janet or Wendy since Thanksgiving two weeks ago, but they’d come to the small house she’d rented a short while ago. They’d insisted she come get coffee with them and they hadn’t taken “no” for an answer.

  Janet, the older of the two and the one she’d never talked a lot with because she lived in Denver, looked at her with determination. “This is an intervention.”

  She’d been afraid of that. “Justin and I can deal with this ourselves.” But they hadn’t. Each of them had kept their distance.

  “You aren’t, though.” Wendy, the petite blonde former cheerleader she’d known in high school, shook her head. “Your separation from Justin has the whole family worried.”

  “I doubt that, certainly not his parents.” She fiddled with the rolled up silverware next to her. “His mother has never thought I was good enough for her oldest son.”

  “That’s not true at all,” Janet protested. She met Nicole’s gaze when she looked up. “She’s always worried that he didn’t deserve you. You put up with his moods—and Lord knows he can be moody. We’ve all witnessed that. You have turned that scrappy old bachelor into a good husband. You—”

  Nicole gaped at her, stunned by what Janet had said about her mother-in-law. At the same time she felt defensive about her husband. “I’m moody, too. He’s patient with me, especially when I need to take time away from my wifely role to work on my painting.”

  “Wifely role?” Wendy raised a neatly plucked eyebrow in confusion.

  “Cooking, cleaning. All that stuff.”

  “What about,” Janet leaned closer, “sex? Is that the problem between you two? Is he…”

  “No! At least not all of the time.” She didn’t want to talk about their sex life with her sisters-in-law. “We’ve just…I don’t know…been drifting apart.” Her cheeks heated but she looked from one woman to the other. “He’s amazing when he puts his mind to it.”

  Janet and Wendy smiled at one another. “Like his brothers.”

  Then Wendy lowered her voice, “Is it the spanking thing, then?”

  She sat back, shocked. “You know he spanks me? That it makes me feel like a naughty child?”

  “We could only guess. Justin would never tell us about that personal kind of thing.” Janet looked around and when it was clear nobody was listening to them, she continued. “The Phillips men are into that whole head of the household thing. A misbehaving woman—in their opinion—is going to get her bottom warmed.”

  “Both of you…” She couldn’t finish the question, it seemed too crazy.

  The women bobbed their heads. “Not any fun, but I know Bob loves me,” Janet said.

  “Same with Alan,” Wendy added.

  “Is Justin really that unreasonable about it? Has he hurt you?” Janet pressed.

  “No, but I don’t like it.” Yes, he’d started spanking her more often lately. But then she’d gotten pretty testy, too, with the pressures of the holidays and her showing coming up. It was annoying to have to suffer a sore bottom and go about her business too.

  Janet snorted. “What woman does?”

  Wendy’s face grew pink. “Well…when you get spanked in foreplay…”

  Nicole and Janet both gaped at her. Nicole remembered Justin mentioning such a thing once, but they’d never done it. Her spankings were all serious.

  “Do you love him?” Janet asked.

  “Yes.” That hadn’t changed. She cried herself to sleep every night. She thought about him all day as she tried to paint. But she hadn’t called him. And he hadn’t called her. “But I’m not sure how he feels.”

  Wendy’s eyes widened. “Are you serious? The man is crazy in love with you, has been from the first time he met you. He built that fancy house with everything you mentioned. Even added more details he thought you’d like, like that over-sized tub in your bathroom.”

  “He’s grumpier than an old bear, according to his brothers, who hear about it from his ranch hands. He doesn’t sleep, doesn’t eat.” Janet told her, shaking her head sadly. “But he’s determined to let you make whatever decision you need to. He’s determined to find a way to live with it.”

  Not sleeping. Not eating. Miserable too. Nicole felt worse than ever. She was making them both miserable. But she was done with this, or would be after she got through her exhibit next week in Denver.

  * * * *

  Hope had lit inside Justin when he’d gotten a voice mail from Nicci out of the blue. She was in Denver at her showing and would be coming back to Stanford right before Christmas. She hadn’t actually said she was coming here, but he was praying she would. God, he missed her.

  He studied the tree he’d had one of his men help drag in earlier. He should have gone to her showing, but he’d been so depressed he hadn’t wanted to ruin her big moment. So he’d stayed at the ranch and moped around. Actually he’d moped around ever since she’d driven away almost a month ago. Why the hell hadn’t he called her?

  Because he hadn’t wanted to hear her say she wanted a divorce. Because communication wasn’t something he was good at. Somehow he needed to get better at it. He didn’t have time for a course on it and he wasn’t great at reading books, either. Maybe he should see a therapist, a marriage counselor. Maybe they should see one together.

  His gaze shifted to the stack of boxes with decorations he’d dragged down from the attic. He usually helped with this, but she was in charge of decorating the tree and house. He wasn’t even sure he could
do this on his own, or whether he wanted to.

  Just as he was about to sit in his chair and give it more thought, he spotted three cars pulling into the driveway. He hadn’t talked to any of his family since Thanksgiving, except over the phone. Now they were all here. His mother, his dad, his sisters-in law Wendy and Janet, his brothers, Bob and Alan.

  As the car doors opened, he noted that even his four nieces and nephews were about to invade his home. He wasn’t sure exactly how he felt about their presence, especially his mother’s. He’d come to realize that she had a lot to do with his wife’s unhappiness and attitude problem on Thanksgiving, although he wasn’t sure how she figured into the equation. What he knew was that he was slow in figuring stuff like that out.

  He opened the front door even before one of them could ring the doorbell. His mother looked straight up at him, her chin thrust out, determined. “We’ve come to help put up your decorations. For sweet Nicole.”

  “She’s not here.” He was afraid to even think that she might not ever be here again.

  “She will be, though. You have to have faith.” His mother swept by him, shedding her coat and handing it to him. “I want your home to be perfect when she comes. She loves Christmas so much.”

  “Mom, did you say something to my wife that…” He wasn’t sure how to ask if she’d in some way hurt Nicci.

  The rest of the family had started walking inside, taking off coats and boots. One after the other moved around them and into the great room, heading for the many boxes. But his mother waited until they were alone again before she said, “It’s more what I didn’t say, son. But I’ll make peace with our Nicole. I promise.”

  She started to turn away, then faced him again. Her expression was stern. “You need to fix this.”

  “But I—”

  “No excuses. This is too important, Justin. You need to talk out your problems.” She blew out a breath and glanced toward his father by the doorway. “I realize you didn’t inherit a touchy-feely gene from your father. But even your father and I have figured out that sometimes we just need to discuss issues…even argue on occasion.”

  He watched her walk away, feeling chastised. She was right. Their marriage was the most important thing in his world. He would have to deal with saving it.

  * * * *

  Nicole turned onto the road leading to the ranch yard. Christmas Eve day. She was upset with herself for staying in Denver so long. Her showing had gone well and she’d sold almost every painting. But one of the patrons who had bought three of her Western landscapes had wanted to hire her to do more for several of his offices. He’d insisted she stay an extra day to visit those offices and see what would work best in each of them. That was great, of course, but she’d been anxious to get back to Justin.

  She stopped the car, looked toward the house, and saw lights running across the front porch and over the garage. They were on even though it was only mid-day. They’d never put up outside lights before, but she liked the idea. Had he put up their Christmas tree as well? She hoped so, yet she felt bad about not being here to help with that. They’d always done it together.

  Knots tied and re-tied in her stomach. Nerves tingled in her abdomen. Her heart raced, in anticipation…in dread…in worry. What if she’d ruined everything by moving out? What if he couldn’t fully love her again? She’d panicked under all the pressure she’d felt lately. It really hadn’t been because he’d taken that awful spoon to her bottom. Sure it had hurt and bruised her pride, too. And she still planned to get rid of every wooden spoon in the kitchen.

  Her cell phone buzzed in her purse on the passenger seat. Jarred back to the moment, she reached for it. Before she could even answer she heard Justin’s deep voice say, “Are you going to sit there all day?”

  He sounded wary; like he was afraid she would turn around and drive away. Those tingles she’d felt in her abdomen spread lower. Her body recognized her lover’s voice, wanted him.

  “Will you let me in?” She asked the question she’d been worrying about. What if he’d had enough of her? What if she’d stayed gone too long?

  “If you don’t get in here soon, I’m coming out to haul you in here.” Now he sounded determined, although there was still a hint of concern in his tone.

  “Oh, Justin…” She broke into sobs. “I don’t deserve you.”

  It took him a second before he said in a husky tone, “Wrong, sweetheart. It’s I who doesn’t deserve you.” He pulled in a breath. “Now get your sweet ass in here. I need you. Always.”

  Her sweet ass. She was pretty sure he wasn’t talking about wanting to spank her, even if he might think she had earned it for running away instead of staying to discuss their issues together. She’d accepted the kind of man he was when they’d been dating. She wouldn’t always go willingly over his knee, but she wasn’t refusing to acknowledge that need in him to be the head of their household. He wasn’t the kind of man who easily talked about feelings, none of the men in his family did.

  She’d have to be the leader in that department. They’d have to compromise in some areas, learn better how to communicate with each other. While they’d been separated, she’d realized that she needed to stand her ground with him more. He wasn’t an ogre by any means and she wasn’t scared of him. She’d have to help him understand her better. And, hopefully, there would be fewer and fewer times when he believed it necessary to take her over his knee. But that was a minor issue, as far as she was concerned.

  “I bought something for you.” She squirmed on the seat, thinking about what she wore beneath the knee-length coat. “Actually, several things.”

  “All I want is you for Christmas, darlin’. That’s more than enough.” He disconnected, but she’d heard the strength of emotion in his voice. She didn’t doubt for a second that he still loved her.

  * * * *

  She was home. Thank God. Justin stood at the big front window and watched his precious wife stop in the driveway. He hurried to the garage as the door creaked open. He wasn’t sure when he’d ever felt this anxious. Never before had things mattered this much. He’d better damn well not screw this up. Which were pretty much the words his mother had said to him before they’d left the other day. His dad hadn’t said anything, but the look he’d given Justin as he left had said as much.

  As she opened the car door, he struggled to wait for her. But when she glanced at him and he saw tears on her face, saw the hesitancy in her expression, he strode toward her.

  “You’re so beautiful.” He hugged her to him, felt her shivering in his hold. “I need you so much.”

  To his relief, she moved closer in his embrace, rubbed against his obvious erection. “I need you, too.”

  He kissed the top of her head, drew in the strawberry scent of her shampoo. “I need you that way, yes.” He eased back to meet her eyes. “But I need you for a lot more than that. This house was so empty without you here.”

  She gave him a final hug and dashed away the tears. Giving him a cautious smile, she headed for the trunk. “I’ll need your help with one of your gifts.”

  He noticed her cheeks turning pink and wondered what that was about. But when the trunk opened and he saw a strange looking bench with what looked like some kind of restraints by the front legs, he cocked his head. “What’s this?” Surely it wasn’t…

  She couldn’t meet his eyes as she reached inside for the two wrapped boxes next to the bench. “It’s, ummm…a discipline bench.”

  His mouth fell open. What the hell? “You’re kidding me.” How did she even know about that kind of thing?

  “I know it’s sort of strange. Me buying this.” She glanced at him and away again. “I’m just trying to tell you that…” She swallowed hard, blushed, and said awkwardly, “Well, that I’m all right with your need for discipline.”

  She raised her gaze. “At least to a limited extent.” She worried her lip, then added, “Maybe we could…well…explore other things. Like sensual spankings. Maybe some kind of kinky
play.”

  “Hell, darlin’,” he said stunned. “I’d been willing to give up the whole punishment thing. Anything to have you back.”

  She blinked at him, smiled, and waited for him to say more.

  Words weren’t his friend at the best of times. Getting them out was damn hard. But she’d brought him this special gift, which still shocked the hell out of him. He felt humbled and intrigued by her and the possibilities this presented.

  He reached inside to lift it out, studying the angled bench with its two padded places. One longer area obviously for her to stretch face down over, another for her knees to rest on. It was clear her sweet little butt would be thrust into a very vulnerable position. And its use wasn’t limited to punishment and lighting a fire to her ass. His mind was already alive with visions of much more enjoyable things.

  His jeans suddenly felt tight. “Let’s take this inside. I’ve got an idea I want to try out.”

  She looked up at him, paler now, worrying her pretty lower lip. “Okay.”

  He set the bench down, shut the trunk, and said gently, “No, darlin’, I’m not intending what you’re clearly thinking. I have something else in mind. Something I think we’ll both really enjoy.”

  “This doesn’t mean—”

  “I know,” he interrupted. “Just because you brought some kind of peace offering doesn’t mean everything is fine. You wouldn’t have left in the first place without good reason.” He touched her face and said intently, “We’ll figure things out. I promise. Just give me a chance, that’s all I ask.”

  She turned her head to kiss his palm. “I’m as much at fault as you are. But we’ll talk later.” She nodded to the bench. “I’m curious about what you mentioned, something we’ll enjoy.”

  Nicole walked nervously into the house, clutching her other gifts. Had getting him this bench been the stupidest idea ever? She’d seen it in the specialty shop she’d gone to and thought it would be a big improvement over being bent over the bar stool, the table, the counter, any surface other than her husband’s lap. As embarrassing as that was, she preferred feeling his hard thighs beneath her stomach. But this had nice padded surfaces for those other times.