"Ha! Freaked? No, I think she might have been a little happy about that," Benny muttered. "I know I would be." The wink she shot to Charlie probably would have pissed me off if it was anyone else. But this was Benny. She was born to make people feel uncomfortable just for the fun of it.
"Anyway," I heard Trevor say from his seat next to Benny.
She rolled her eyes. "Okay, okay. Anyway... I was hoping to speak with her this morning, but you switched back. Dr. G will have to fill you in on the rest when he pulls her out."
"I just don't understand how she hasn't come out before now. I mean, what could have triggered her? Am I just going to start turning into a bunch of different people now? A man who only speaks Swahili? Maybe a kid who has a habit of picking his nose?"
Benny laughed loudly and shook her head, "I don't think so, T, but you never know. There may be a lot of things you haven't experienced yet that an alter might be necessary to help you through. I hate to bring it up because it definitely isn't my business, until we have a girl's night in with plenty of wine and junk food and you fill me in on everything, but you just lost your virginity. That's a big deal. Jessi seems to handle waking up naked with a man very well. Maybe that's her purpose."
My mouth had gaped open when she had mentioned my virginity. She was the only person who would talk about that so frivolously and not really care that maybe Charlie and I wanted that to be between us. What could I do, though? This wasn't unexpected.
"Benny! My brother doesn't want to hear about that kind of shit."
"Ding, ding, ding! No. I don't," Trevor said, then put in his earphones and turned up the music on his phone to drown us out.
"Well, it's true. Jessi was probably triggered by the sex."
"Okay, that's enough, Benny," Charlie said with a chuckle. "Let's talk about something else." Then he leaned into my ear until his lips were pressed against the skin behind it, "Not that I don't enjoy your blush, but I think that the zipper on my pants might tear apart if you keep it up."
Then his tongue darted out to touch that sensitive skin and I shivered.
Yeah, I definitely think the sex was a part of this. He was just too good and my mind didn't seem to handle it very well. He could make me crazy with only a touch. Only problem was that I didn't want Jessi to pop out whenever I was feeling overly emotional about it. This was mine.
Jessi would just have to learn to back off.
***
Mom seemed to handle the news well.
Benny was good at making the strangest things exciting, and she was excited about this. She loved Lydia and Camryn and always told me that I was lucky to have such close companions that could 'throw down' when I needed it. Her words, not mine.
Thankfully, Benny didn't tell her that we were assuming that the new development between me and Charlie could be the reason. The way she eyed me when we were all sitting around the table talking and Charlie kept touching me, told me that she knew enough without anyone saying a word. She seemed to be smiling a lot, too.
I had lost track of the time and next thing I knew, it was after midnight and Mom and Benny had gone through a bottle and a half of wine and were laughing at everything that came out of the other's mouth.
Charlie and I didn't have anything to drink and I know he did this to support me. I didn't really like to drink because it made me feel out of control, he didn't drink much because it could affect his fighting, but a beer or two at dinner on occasion was not unusual for him.
Trevor had taken off shortly after dinner to go and find Ellie. We had spent the first hour discussing some kind of plan to get rid of Ellie, but none of our ideas would be possible without the high probability of losing Trevor. Benny was quiet for the majority of this conversation and the look she gave me when I asked her what she thought was enough to let me know she was interested.
If only.
"Well, I'm off to bed," Mom said and stood from the table. "You staying the night, Charlie?"
It took a few seconds for me to actually process her question, and by the time I did, it didn't matter. I was speechless and hoped that Charlie had a response that wouldn't embarrass the hell out of me.
He didn't.
He just squeezed my knee under the table and smiled shyly. That smile was my undoing. He was adorable when he smiled like that and the pink on his cheeks didn't help, so I was instantly turned on, which told me that he needed to leave.
I didn't say it, I think because I actually really wanted him to stay the night. This was my mom's house, though, and with her and Benny present… I wouldn't be able to handle the awkwardness in the morning if he stayed. Unless he slept on the couch.
"I think I'll head home tonight, Sarah."
"You sure?"
He glanced over at me and squeezed my knee again, "Yeah."
I felt a slice of disappointment, but the relief that accompanied it was soothing. I needed a little space after tonight. I needed time to process how I was going to handle a new alter.
"Alright, well, come for breakfast if you can." Then she was gone.
"I'm off. See you in the morning," Benny said quickly and followed after her, leaving Charlie and me alone.
"I better take off, too," he whispered and kissed the tip of my nose.
"Okay," I croaked. Why the hell did my voice give away everything I was feeling? I cleared my throat and tried again. "Okay, see you in the morning?"
He smiled and nodded, then pulled me out of my chair and walked to the front door holding my hand tightly.
"Sleep well, Tess."
He pulled me against his chest and wrapped his arms around my waist with his forehead resting against mine. We stayed like that for a long moment, just breathing each other in, then he dipped down and kissed me, long and soft, making sure I wouldn't dream of anything else but him tonight. I was breathless when he pulled away. He murmured his goodnight and walked out the front door, waving when he got to his car. I watched him drive away before I shut the door and banged my head against it. I wasn't going to get any sleep tonight.
"Let it happen, T," Benny's voice rang out from the stairs.
I turned to see her in her skimpy pajamas, her hair braided, and a shit eating grin on her face.
Let it happen.
"It's already happened, Benny."
"Not all of it," she informed, then hurried up the stairs.
"What the hell does that mean?" I shouted after her.
Her response was the sound of her door shutting, then nothing.
"What the hell does that mean?"
Chapter 21
Charlie
That had been the longest night of my life.
By the time dawn arrived, I had debated with myself enough to determine that I wouldn't spend a night without Tess from now on and she would just have to deal with it. I know she needed a little time to pull herself together, but she wasn't going to get space anymore. We were in this together and we were going to stay in it together.
I had an argument all planned out that I was sure would be a winner, but when she opened the door for me, and she was standing there in her tiny shorts and tank top with her short black robe hanging open revealing that she was again not wearing a bra, I forgot what I had planned out and just kissed her. Hard.
"Good morning," she breathed when I finally let her go.
"Yes, it is a good morning. Awful night, but great morning."
She blushed, but rolled her eyes at me. "Don't remind me."
We made our way to the kitchen where the smell of bacon and pancakes made my stomach grumble loudly.
"What time is your appointment?" I asked, remembering that it was Monday and Dr. Geoffrey was expecting her.
"They called me this morning and moved it to 2 o'clock. Wanted to make sure we would both be there."
I smiled proudly, but felt a little pang of regret that this wasn't her decision. "I'll be there. If you want me to."
She sighed and looked down at her feet.
"Hey," I whispe
red and moved my hands to each side of her neck with my thumbs lifting her jaw so she would look at me. Her skin was soft and warm and I was itching to feel the rest of it against mine again. "I know this isn't what you had planned for yourself, but I won't let you do it alone. Nothing will scare me away."
"I know that."
"Then what's wrong?"
She squeezed her eyes shut and took a deep breath, held it in for a few seconds, then let it out as her muscles relaxed. "What if there is another one?"
"Then there's another one. There could be twenty, but I'll still be here."
"What if another one turns out to be a psycho and a murderer like on that movie with John Cusack?"
I laughed because we had watched that movie together a long time ago and she had always thought it couldn't ever really happen, though she loved every minute of the psychological thriller.
"I don't think that will happen, love, but if it does, I'll still be here."
"Well, what if one of them turns out to be a guy who--"
I pressed my thumb against her lips and she whimpered as if she had a million concerns and no way to push them out of her. Which was probably true.
"Baby, I'm not going anywhere. As long as you still love me and let me love you, I'll be here for the next 60 to 70 years. The others won't have anything to throw at me."
Her eyes widened and the color drained from her face. She wasn't expecting that I guess. How could she not know how badly I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her?
"Don't," I warned her. "Don't freak out. It won't change anything."
I leaned down and kissed her forehead, her cheeks, her nose, and finally her parted lips. I didn't hesitate to slip my tongue through and taste her. She let me, which made me groan and promise myself to be a better man, for her. To be the only man who she could ever love.
A part of me hoped that there were more alters, just so I could prove to her that she was stuck with me. As her mouth moved against mine, I felt my determination spike up a notch. This woman was mine and letting her go would be the worst mistake I could ever make.
"Will you two stop sucking face and get in here already? I'm starving my ass off," Benny shouted from the kitchen.
Tess pulled back as she rolled her eyes and turned away. I watched her walk through the door, admiring the sway of her hips and her long legs that had been wrapped around me not 24 hours before.
I groaned again, and she looked back at me over her shoulder and winked.
Benny wasn't getting my credit card anymore.
***
Trevor was in the kitchen when we walked in and after about 30 minutes of playing question and answer, we all found out that he caught Ellie last night with her maid of honor's boyfriend. They were making out in her living room and he had walked in on him attempting to remove her shirt and her attempting to unzip his pants.
Apparently, she was dumber than we all thought, which was really bad. She tried to convince Trevor that the guy had gotten her drunk and forced himself on her. Instead of giving a response that wasn't worth his time, he tossed her key onto the coffee table, climbed the stairs to the bedroom and stuffed the few things he had there into a bag - along with the engagement ring he had given her that was sitting on her dresser - and walked out the door.
She wasn't happy about it and had been calling and texting him relentlessly. He showed up here at about 2 o'clock in the morning and crashed on the couch. No cell phone, no extra things, no regrets.
Pissed off, but no regrets.
"I'm sorry, Trevor," Sarah said sincerely and kissed him on the cheek, "But this is good. Better now than when you were married and ended up with an even bigger disaster." I could tell she was fighting a smile. She was ecstatic and wanted to jump for joy and clap her hands. She restrained herself, though.
Benny, on the other hand, said what everyone else wanted to.
"Glad you pulled your head out, Trev. Now you can enjoy life without a demon bitch breathing down your neck."
Tess gasped, then coughed because she was in the middle of taking a drink. I tried not to laugh as I pounded on her back to help her. Sarah just stood frozen to the spot, staring at Benny like she had just grown another head.
Trevor? Well, I think he fell in love with Benny right then and there.
She was bent over her plate, devouring the eggs and bacon, without looking up to see anyone's reaction. She didn't care. She had spoken the truth and no one could chastise her for it.
Trevor was smiling and watching her, then he stood from the table slowly and looked at the rest of us. "Thanks guys, for caring enough to let me work things out on my own time. Benny?"
She looked up at him innocently. Tess snorted and buried her face in my shoulder, shaking with laughter.
"Yeah, Trev?"
"I'll pick you up at 7 o'clock tonight. We're going out. Wear pants."
She smiled at him, winked, and said "Alrighty."
Trevor waved to the rest of us and left.
I still don't think Sarah had moved an inch, but when Benny just kept eating without making any eye contact with the rest of us, she couldn't take the silence anymore.
"Someone tell me that really happened."
"It did," I replied.
"Thank God!"
Benny finished up her food and carried her plate to the sink, "Thanks for breakfast, Mom." She kissed Sarah on the cheek and disappeared through the door.
Tess was still laughing into my shoulder. "You see why I love her so much?"
Both Sarah and I responded at the same time, "Yes."
***
Dr. Geoffrey looked like he was about to burst with excitement when Tess told him that another alter had manifested over the weekend. She wasn't as freaked out by the idea anymore and I was proud of her for taking it so well.
"Tell me exactly what occurred over the weekend, Tessa," he demanded gently.
She told him about flying to New York, the baggage stress, the fight. Everything except what happened between the two of us. He knew she was leaving this out, of course, because the look on her face told him so. She was bright red when she answered his question about spending the entire time with me.
"You don't have to give me any details, but I'm assuming you two have… entered into a sexual relationship?"
She nodded as I responded with a firm, "Yes."
"Good. That gives me something to go on then." He picked up his notepad and read through a few notes before looking back at Tess, eyes narrowed. "Have you ever been in a sexual relationship before, Tessa?"
She shook her head and her skin burned redder. I felt awful that she had to answer questions like this and I wanted to slap the doctor for make her feel uncomfortable, but at the same time, I felt pride in knowing that I was the first… and last.
"Alright, let's see what we can find out."
He proceeded to put Tess under and explained to her that we were just going to speak with Jessamyn for a minute and find out for sure if she was co-conscious of Tess and the others or not.
She didn't seem to want to show up, though, so he spoke with Lydia instead.
It would always surprise me to see the changes that occurred as the switch to Lydia was made. Things that would seem so subtle to someone who didn't know Tess were extremely evident to me. She was still Tess, but she sat straighter, arranged her face in a knowing expression - almost mischievous - and constantly pulled at the hair around her neck.
Tess would look beautiful, short hair or long, no matter what, but I really hoped Lydia would cooperate and not chop it off on her own.
"What's up, Doc?"
"Hello, Lydia. How are you doing today?"
Her eyes flicked over to me and a playful smile stretched her lips as she looked down at her hands. "I'm doing amazing."
Her response surprised Dr. G, but he didn't dwell on it. "Do you know anything about Jessamyn?"
She shook her head and spoke very clearly, "Not a clue. I didn't even know she was around until Charl
ie told Tess. And Tess only knows what I know, so…"
Dr. Geoffrey looked confused for a moment before Lydia clarified for him, "She was aware of the last switch, but I don't think it will stick, although she seems to be handling some things better now that she has a little more incentive."
She looked at me again and winked. I winked back at her and her quick intake of breath told me that made her happy. I liked Lydia. She was playful, blunt, and not afraid to go after something she wanted. Much like Tess, but not as subtle about it and there were only a few people who knew that about her.
"I think maybe it's time to start some form of communication then."
I nodded, "Tess wants that. She has decided that maybe it's time to cooperate with… everyone."
"Good. I'll have to talk to her about that, but it's good that she has shared that with you. She is making steps in the right direction and I think it will make things easier to handle."
"What about Camryn?" Lydia asked. "I mean, I am very willing to communicate and I know that Camryn wants to, but I don't think she will get much of an opportunity. She gets distracted."
"You are right, Lydia. Maybe we should try talking to her again." He hesitated a moment, then seemed to come to a solid decision after glancing between me and Tess a few times. Guess he felt it was safe for him. "Yes, let's talk to Camryn."
After directing her with a few words, Tessa's shoulders dropped and her face was tight and controlled. Her eyes wary and her hands balled into fists. I immediately moved to sit closer to her. My sudden movement made her flinch, but she stayed in her seat.
Dr. G didn't make a sound until her gaze met his.
"Hello, Camryn."
She nodded stiffly and clenched her fists tighter.
I was watching her closely and noticed the tremble in her lips, the dilation of her pupils that made her eyes look almost black. She was terrified, but was doing her best not to show it. Much like Tess, but much more extreme.
I turned to see what was taking the doctor so long to talk to her, I didn't think she would be very cooperative for much longer. She looked like she was about to burst into a million pieces. He was watching me. I was puzzled until he nodded and gestured for me to go ahead.
Every One Of Me Page 21