Alistair Grim's Odd Aquaticum

by Funaro, Greg

  “Well, let it remain a mystery for now,” Father said. He flicked some switches and began to play his organ. The Odditorium creaked and groaned a bit, but then, much to my relief, we began to move forward. “Blast it,” Father muttered. “The portside damper is jammed.” He flicked on the talkback. “Cleona, are you in the Sky Ripper? Are you feeling strong enough for the space jump?”

  “Pshaw, it’ll take more than a little wailing to wear me out.”

  “The steering mechanism is damaged and more monsters are approaching. We won’t have time to come round for another shot should the first one miss.”

  “I understand, Uncle.”

  My heart sank with worry for my friend. Shooting the Sky Ripper really took a toll on poor Cleona. Unlike the rest of the Odditorium, which ran on the animus stored in the power reserves, the Sky Ripper drew its power directly from her spirit body. And thus, given how drained she was after our space jump from London, I couldn’t imagine Cleona would have enough energy left for a second one even if we weren’t being chased by a load of sea serpents.

  “Very well, then, Cleona,” Father said into the talkback. “Stand by to fire the Sky Ripper upon my command.”

  “They’re getting closer, sir,” Mrs. Pinch replied instead.

  “I can see that, thank you very much.” Father turned on the searchlight, and once again the water came alive in shimmering sheets of luminous orange. Thankfully, the three sea serpents were farther away than they first appeared. However, there was no sign of the Gates of Avalon anywhere.

  “But how can you be certain you’ll fire the Sky Ripper at the proper location?” asked Lord Dreary. “All I can see out there are more sea serpents!”

  “I’m afraid we’ll have to rely on Merlin’s compass to see us through.”

  The serpents were closer now, their teeth clearly visible in the searchlight, but Father kept his eyes fixed constantly on the magical compass. At the same time he picked up his tune a bit, changing our course ever so slightly so that the Odditorium began heading straight for the approaching monsters.

  “I hope you know what you’re doing, Alistair,” Lord Dreary said weakly.

  “According to my calculations, we should reach the Gates of Avalon before the monsters do. If I’m wrong, then they’ll block our path and we won’t be able to get through.”

  “That is, if the gates are still there,” the professor mumbled.

  “Stand by, Cleona,” Father said into the talkback, his eyes never leaving his compass. “Get ready to fire the Sky Ripper in five…four…three…two…NOW!”

  A thick bolt of blue lightning shot out from the Odditorium directly above our heads. It traveled only a short distance, obscuring our view of the sea serpents, and then burst apart in the form of two colossal iron gates, the bars of which flashed and sparkled as if painted with billions of twinkling stars.

  “The Gates of Avalon!” cried Lord Dreary. “You found them, Alistair!”

  “Excellent shot, Cleona!” Father said. “Now get back into your charging bed. Who knows how the space jump will affect the animus reserves this time.”

  Professor Bricklewick steadied himself on the pipe organ. “They’re even more magnificent than I imagined,” he said, his voice tight with emotion.

  Father pulled a lever and sped up his playing, but as we drew closer, the Gates of Avalon suddenly vanished before our eyes, leaving only the sea serpents closing the distance ahead of us.

  “Great poppycock!” cried Lord Dreary. “The gates are gone!”

  “Not gone, but open,” Father said. “A temporary rip in the fabric between our two worlds that is invisible to the naked eye.”

  “But the monsters are approaching the gates from the other side. Won’t they—”

  “If my theory is correct, the Gates of Avalon, like any other interdimensional portal, only open one way. Thus, we should be able to pass through from our side without the monsters following us from theirs. Not to mention that, once we’re through, the portal shall immediately close behind us as it did in London.”

  “And if your theory is wrong, as with your bubbly lightning cannons?”

  Father smiled fondly at his friend. “Then let’s just say I’m sorry we never got to finish that game of chess.”

  Lord Dreary gulped and tugged at his collar, and as Father played on, my ears began to pound with fright. The sea serpents were coming quickly—their bulging eyes like fiery lanterns as Alistair Grim kept us on a course straight for them.

  “Almost there,” he muttered, his gaze locked again on Merlin’s compass, and I watched in horror as the largest of the three serpents wound its way in front of the others. Its jaws were twice the size of the monster that had attacked us earlier.

  “Shall I try to lay down some strafing fire just in case, sir?” Nigel asked from the talkback, but Father ignored him.

  “Almost there,” he muttered again. The lead serpent was only about thirty yards away from us now—just beyond where I’d last seen the gates, I thought. But then again, as there was nothing but open water from which to get my bearings, I couldn’t be sure.

  “Hang on, everybody,” Father said. “Here we gooooo!”

  The gentlemen and I steadied ourselves where we stood as the sea serpent, nearly upon us, opened its mouth wide—a mouth so enormous that it appeared capable of swallowing the Odditorium whole. I winced, bracing myself for the creature’s bite, but then its mouth, along with the rest of it, simply…dissolved before our eyes. There was no sign of the other sea serpents either—only the water, crystal clear and bright, and what looked like the ruins of an ancient city on the ocean floor beneath us.

  “What happened?” Lord Dreary asked. “Did we make the space jump?”

  Puzzled, Father yanked the old man’s pocket watch out from his waistcoat and checked the time. I understood why. Our first space jump knocked us out for five hours. It knocked out all our power reserves too. But from the looks of things back in the library, all of the Odditorium’s mechanical functions appeared to be working properly.

  “No loss of time,” Father said. He returned Lord Dreary’s pocket watch to his waistcoat and checked in with the others over the talkback. When everyone, including Gwendolyn, replied that they were all right, he ordered the samurai back to their posts and began playing his organ. The Odditorium spun in place, and a section of an incredibly wide carved stone column passed before our eyes.

  “Is that what I think it is?” muttered Professor Bricklewick. As the Odditorium continued to turn round, farther off I saw another column—the bottom of which looked like a foot, and the top, at least what I could see of it, like a knee.

  “Great poppycock!” Lord Dreary gasped. “We seemed to have passed through a giant pair of underwater legs!”

  “The Gates of Avalon,” said Professor Bricklewick. Father pressed some buttons, and immediately the water outside the balcony became a wall of frothy bubbles—the vertical thrusters again, I knew. Father was taking the Odditorium upward.

  “So we’re in Avalon, then?” Lord Dreary asked.

  “We’re definitely somewhere,” Father said. “But I needn’t tell you how surprised I am that it took so little effort.”

  “If you call nearly being crushed to death by gigantic sea serpents little effort,” said Professor Bricklewick, and Father raised his hand in forfeit.

  “Point taken, old friend. However, compared to our last space jump, you’ll need to trust me when I say this time we got off light.”

  I had to agree with Father. I’d take a bit of damage to the Odditorium over an animus drain any day, for surely the wasps could fix us up in no time.

  The Odditorium continued to rise higher and higher until finally it burst up through the surface with a loud whoosh! In an instant everything became nearly white with sunlight, the dust bubble a solid wall of glare, but once the Odditorium was well above the water, Father turned off the bubble and our vision cleared.

  What we saw made us gasp.

&n
bsp; There before the balcony was a giant stone eye. Father immediately backed the Odditorium away from it, whereupon we discovered that the eye belonged to a colossal statue of a warrior that appeared to be standing waist-deep in the middle of the ocean. One hand held a spear, while the other was raised as if to say, Halt!

  “The Guardian of the Gates,” Father said, and spun us away from the statue.

  In the distance, across a calm blue sea, we spied a harbor bordered on one side by a rocky coastline, and on the other by a massive breakwater. Countless flights of stone stairs rose up from it in every direction, leading to a sprawling, shining city of domes and columns and towers. Many of the buildings were adorned with colorful banners, while others were obscured almost entirely by lush hanging gardens and flowering trees. Farther still, in the forest-covered distance beyond the city, stood a gleaming, gold-domed castle on a hill.

  “Ladies and gentlemen,” Father said, “I give you the Isle of Avalon.”

  We stood there in stunned silence, and I couldn’t help noticing Professor Bricklewick as he wiped a tear from beneath his spectacles. How he must have felt seeing for the first time the city of his dreams. Even for me, who by now was no stranger to such things, this odd Aquaticum of Alistair Grim’s was almost beyond belief. And yet here we were, arriving safe in Avalon.

  Little did we know that someone else had arrived along with us.

  As we began our approach toward the harbor, Nigel and Mrs. Pinch joined us on the balcony. Cleona, exhausted from firing the Sky Ripper, had fallen asleep in her quarters, while Gwendolyn, who insisted that she wasn’t tired at all, took time out from the flight sphere for a chocolate break in the engine room. All of the Odditorium’s energy systems were functioning normally, and other than the smashed upper cannon and the jammed steering damper, the damage we sustained as a result of our battle with the sea serpent appeared to be minimal.

  We’d barely traveled fifty yards before an alarum bell began tolling in the distance, followed by shouts and the outbreak of a commotion in the harbor ahead. The Avalonians, alerted to our presence, were no doubt preparing to greet us. But how they would greet us…Well, that was the question, now, wasn’t it?

  “Are you sure this is wise, Alistair?” asked Lord Dreary. The old man had been insisting that we follow “proper etiquette” by sending an “emissary” in the demon buggy bearing gifts for the queen. Father and Professor Bricklewick, on the other hand, thought it best that we fly directly for the castle itself.

  “If we’re to succeed on this quest,” the professor said, “we cannot risk even the slightest appearance of deception. Queen Nimue may already know why we’ve come. After all, not only is she over a thousand years old, but also it is said she possesses the gift of prophecy—and by some accounts, is nothing short of a goddess.”

  “A fairy goddess,” said Lord Dreary. “Indeed, some legends have it that the Avalonians themselves are an entire race of fairies. And like most fairies, they have little regard for humans.”

  “Your counsel is much appreciated, old friend,” Father said. “Which is why I think we should protect ourselves with our own fairy just in case.” He flicked on the talkback. “Gwendolyn, are you there?”

  “What is it, Pookie?” the Yellow Fairy replied, and she let out a long coo. Clearly, the chocolate had done its work.

  “Would you care to join us on the balcony?”

  “But what about this big blue banshee in the bubble before me?” Gwendolyn asked, and then she gasped dramatically. “My, my, my, that was a lot of b’s.” She cooed and began flapping her lips with her finger. “Buh-duh-buh-duh-buh-duh-buh-duh…”

  Father rolled his eyes. I myself was quite fond of Gwendolyn after she had her chocolate, but sometimes I’d swear Father preferred her when she was quarrelsome.

  “The Gallownog will be just fine,” he said. “We’ve more than enough dust in the reserves to keep everything going for quite some time. Now please, Gwendolyn, your presence up here is required immediately.”

  “Whatever you say, Pookie,” she said, and Father flicked off the talkback.

  “You’re certain you don’t want Mrs. Pinch and me to return to the gunneries, sir?” Nigel asked. “I should think they’d work just fine now that we’re above water. What’s left of them anyway.”

  “We don’t want to appear aggressive,” Father replied. “However, having Gwendolyn close at hand would not be a bad idea in the event we need to—how shall I put it?—lighten things up.”

  Mrs. Pinch uttered a “Humph,” but I understood Father’s strategy. Should we need to defend ourselves, a ball of yellow fairy dust would be much less harmful to an attacker than a blast from the lightning cannons.

  “Well, it’s a good thing we’ve got that colossus back there to show us the gates,” said Mrs. Pinch. “That compass of yours is pointing us in the wrong direction.”

  Indeed, the needle on Merlin’s compass was blinking again and pointing straight ahead.

  “Remarkable,” said Professor Bricklewick. “The compass must be working in reverse. It’s pointing to another gateway altogether—one of the queen’s shortcuts, perhaps—that’s above water.”

  “Which means, in order to get back, we needn’t travel underwater again?” asked Lord Dreary.

  “At least not here in Avalon,” Father said. “But we will most certainly end up underwater once we pass through into our world. Oscar, if you wouldn’t mind hiding the compass in the map again, we should probably keep it a secret from our hosts for now.”

  The professor snatched the compass out of the air and hurried over to Father’s desk. He uttered a magic spell, and in a flash the compass sank back down into the map and disappeared.

  Presently, we heard what sounded like a flock of hawks screeching in the distance. “Good heavens!” cried Lord Dreary, pointing, and there in the sky above the city appeared a dozen or so dragons flying straight for us.

  Of course, my only experience with dragons had been the half-human Red Dragons that had tried to kill me at Prince Nightshade’s, but I nonetheless knew what I was looking at. These dragons, however, appeared to be much bigger than the prince’s gang, with long, slender necks and gigantic bat wings. And on each of their backs rode a single armor-clad knight.

  “The Royal Guard, no doubt,” said Professor Bricklewick.

  The knights were upon us in an instant, their plated silver armor flashing like mirrors in the sunlight. As they began to circle the Odditorium, Father stopped his organ playing and let us drift toward the harbor. I suppose, being fairies and all, I’d expected the Avalonians to be small like Gwendolyn, but these blokes looked no different than us humans.

  “Oh, look at the pretty dragons!” Gwendolyn said as she joined us on the balcony. Her eyelids were heavy, and her face was smeared with chocolate. “Hallo, hallo there, dragons!” She perched herself on my shoulder and began to coo.

  “Hold tight, Gwendolyn,” Father said. “We may need your assistance should the Royal Guard attack.”

  Gwendolyn snickered and tossed a ball of fairy dust playfully in her hand.

  “We have you surrounded!” someone shouted, and a knight with a foxtail plume on his helmet reined his dragon to a stop before the balcony. His helmet hid his face, but his steel-gray eyes glared out menacingly from the slot in his visor. “Follow me directly or we shall destroy you,” he said, and as if to prove it, his dragon arched back its head and spit a long stream of fire up into the air.

  “We seek an audience with the queen,” Father shouted back.

  “She knows why you’re here, Alistair Grim,” Fox Tail said, and he promptly swung his dragon away and pulled out far ahead of us. The other knights swooped in behind him to form a V at our flanks, and Father began to follow them—his organ music jumbled and uneven as he tried to compensate for the jammed steering damper.

  “Then the legends are true,” said Professor Bricklewick. “Queen Nimue possesses the gift of prophecy—a gift bestowed upon her by Merlin himself
.”

  Lord Dreary nodded. “And yet, even though Merlin could predict the future, he often could do nothing about it because he forgot his visions. Just think, Alistair, Queen Nimue may have foreseen our coming to Avalon long before we were even born.”

  “And fortunately for us, she didn’t forget about it,” Father said, and with his eyes fixed straight ahead he began to play faster. The damaged steering damper caused the Odditorium to wobble and sputter, but Father managed to keep pace with our dragon escort. We passed over the harbor and were flying above the city when I noticed things had grown quiet below. Gazing down from the balcony, I discovered that the Avalonians had gathered in the streets and upon the rooftops to have a look at us—their upturned faces just smudges of white amidst a sea of brightly colored clothes.

  Soon the city gave way to a thick swath of ancient forest. At the far edge rose a high hill, on top of which the gold-domed castle stood at the center of a rambling complex of walls and battlements. Beyond that lay great patches of farmland and gently sloping valleys, and then more forest stretched out to the horizon.

  “Begging your pardon, sir,” said Mrs. Pinch. “But what shall we do if any of these knights force their way inside?”

  Father’s face was like stone, his mind racing, I could tell. Should it come down to defending the Odditorium, I felt quite confident that we could hold our own against these Avalonians. In addition to all of the Odditorium’s shields and weapons and whatnot, we had the samurai, the wasps, Gwendolyn and Cleona, and of course Broom, who could certainly pack a wallop—not to mention Mack, and my new friend Moral the goose.

  “Mrs. Pinch is right, sir,” Nigel said. “Should any of these blokes go snooping about, who knows what dangers they might find.”

  “Let’s just hope, for their sake, it won’t come to that.” Father flicked on the talkback. “Attention, all samurai,” he said, his voice echoing about the Odditorium. “Guard all entrances and remain on full alert.”

  And with that, a handful of samurai immediately took up their positions on the balcony behind us.